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Judge. As I take it down, please to favor me with it once
Mr. D. Have you always been what you say? What were you originally?
Mr. D. My lord, I am afraid I have thrown a spell over this poor man which he can't get rid of. Where were you a gardener ?
Wit. I never was a gardener. I first was a farmer. I ceased to be a farmer, because I learnt the business I now is.
Mr. D. Who did you learn it of?
Wit, I learned it of Doctor Hum: he practised the same as the Whitworth doctors, and they were regular physicians.
Mr. D. Where did they take their degrees?
Mr. D. Then do you suppose they could be regular physi. cians ?
Wit. No; I believe they were only doctors.
Mr. D. Did you ever make up medicines from the prescriptions of a physician ?
Wit. I never did.
Mr. D. Do you understand the characters they use for ounces, scruples, and drachms?
Wit. I do not. I can make up as good medicines in my way as they can in theirs.
Mr. D. What proportion does an ounce bear to a pound?
Wit. My lord, is that a fair answer—I mean question ?
tell the name of it?
Wit. I does not pretend to have so much knowledge as
Mr. D. Can you tell me the name of that artery?
Mr. D. Suppose I were to tell you to bleed my servantwhich heaven forbid !_in the jugular vein, where would you apply the lancet ?
Wit. In the arm, to be sure. I am a bit of a dentist.
Mr. D. Indeed! Suppose, then, a person had the toothache, and could not bear it, how would you proceed?
Wit. Beat it out, to be sure.
THE THREE BLACK CROWS.-BYROM.
Two honest tradesmen meeting in the Strand,
shall hear: an odd affair indeed !
Impossible !"_“ Nay, but it's really true, I had it from good hands, and so may you." “ From whose, I pray ?” So having named the man Straight to inquire his curious comrade ran. "Sir, did you tell "-relating the affair
Yes, sir, I did; and if it's worth your care Ask Mr. Such-a-one, he told it me; But, by-the-by, 'twas two black crows, not three." Resolved to trace so wondrous an event, Whip to the third, the virtuoso went. “ Sir,"—and so forth—“ Why, yes; the thing is fact, Though in regard to number not exact; It was not two black crows, 'twas only one ; The truth of that you may depend upon. The gentleman himself told me the case." " Where may I find him ?" "Why,-in such a place. Away he goes, and having found him out
Sir, be so good as to resolve a doubt.” Then to his last informant he referred, And begged to know if true what he had heard. “ Did you, sir, throw up a black crow?" “ Not I!" “ Bless me! how people propagate a lie ! Black crows have been thrown up, three, two, and one, And here I find at last all comes to none ! Did you say nothing of a crow at all ?" “ Crow-crow—perhaps I might, now I recall The matter over." “And pray, sir, what was 't? “Why, I was horrid sick, and, at the last, I did throw up, and told my neighbors so, Something that was as black, sir, as a crow."
THE CHEAP SUPPER.-REIMER.
In a neat little village not far from Berlin,
Bring cheese for my money, bring butter, bring bread !" “And wine ?" said the host; “ Will your honor have wine ?" “ Yes, wine,” he replied, if it 's really fine.
The supper was brought,
Its utter removal;
same, The fault is your own; sure, I'm not to blame."
He probably thought
Not thinking, to cheat;
* A coin worth about a cent and a half.
A thing very fitting a reckless outlaw,
It seems from THE BEAR,
Boarders oft came;
SPEECH OBITUARY.-CLARK'S KNICK-KNACKS.
NOTHING could more thoroughly impress us with the fact, that it is pretty impossible to communicate to others those ideas “ whereof we ourselves are not possess-ed of,” than the following funereal discourse, which was recently delivered in the Florida House of Representatives. The duty of making it was voluntarily assumed, and even insisted upon, by the speaker, to the no small wonder of the House, his utter incompetency being notorious :
“ Mr. Speaker: Sir! Our fellow citizen, Mr. Silas Higgins,