The Humorous Speaker: Being a Choice Collection of Amusing Pieces, Both in Prose and Verse, Original and Selected, Consisting of Dialogues, Soliloquies, Parodies, &c., Designed for the Use of Schools, Literary Societies, Debating Clubs, Social Circles and Domestic Entertainment |
From inside the book
Page iv
... " Tis known that men will alcohol drink , Till they neither can walk , stand , nor think ; While hogs , which foul and filthy they call , Will shun the poisonous stuff , as gall . 7 There ' s many a crime , and heinous too iv PREFACE .
... " Tis known that men will alcohol drink , Till they neither can walk , stand , nor think ; While hogs , which foul and filthy they call , Will shun the poisonous stuff , as gall . 7 There ' s many a crime , and heinous too iv PREFACE .
Page 30
... standing before the dressing - glass in his dormitory , he had an equal opportunity of contemplating human nature in all the numer ous phases it exhibits , in that not more populous than popular thoroughfare . His landlady , Mrs ...
... standing before the dressing - glass in his dormitory , he had an equal opportunity of contemplating human nature in all the numer ous phases it exhibits , in that not more populous than popular thoroughfare . His landlady , Mrs ...
Page 35
... stand ? Pang . Fye ! this is a locomotive morning with me . Just hurried , my lord , from the Society of Arts ; whence , I may say , " I have borne my blushing honors thick upon me . Shakspeare . Hem ! " " Lord D. And what has put your ...
... stand ? Pang . Fye ! this is a locomotive morning with me . Just hurried , my lord , from the Society of Arts ; whence , I may say , " I have borne my blushing honors thick upon me . Shakspeare . Hem ! " " Lord D. And what has put your ...
Page 47
... stand to my post . Summer or winter , nobody seeks me in vain ; for , all day long , I am seen at the busiest corner , just above the market , stretching out my arms to rich and poor alike ; and at night I hold a lantern over my head ...
... stand to my post . Summer or winter , nobody seeks me in vain ; for , all day long , I am seen at the busiest corner , just above the market , stretching out my arms to rich and poor alike ; and at night I hold a lantern over my head ...
Page 48
... stand . Who next ? Oh , my little friend , you are let loose from school , and come hither to scrub your blooming face , and drown the memory of certain taps of the ferule , and other school - boy troubles , in a draught from the Town ...
... stand . Who next ? Oh , my little friend , you are let loose from school , and come hither to scrub your blooming face , and drown the memory of certain taps of the ferule , and other school - boy troubles , in a draught from the Town ...
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Common terms and phrases
75 cents Arithmetic Balt Bardell Bates better black crows Blackletter Bless bolt Bouncer Bowdoin College Coper Costive cried dear Dick doctor door Eger Elihu eyes Feeb fellow fire gentlemen give Greek Language Greg hand hard head hear heard heart Hippocrates honor hope Jovanny King knock Lady Lady D larn latten live look lord lordship matter mean metic mind morning neighbor never night nose Number o'er Old F once Pang Pangloss Pickwick poor portmanteau Pray pretty Puff Quid Quiz replied SANDERS sare Schools Sir Ch Snacks Sneer Statius sure talk tell there's thet thing THOMAS HASTINGS Thomson's thou thought twas verger what's wife wonder word young
Popular passages
Page 255 - My liege, I did deny no prisoners. But, I remember, when the fight was done, When I was dry with rage, and extreme toil, Breathless and faint, leaning upon my sword, Came there a certain lord, neat, trimly...
Page 146 - GOOD people all, with one accord, Lament for Madam Blaize, Who never wanted a good word— From those who spoke her praise. The needy seldom pass'd her door, And always found her kind; She freely lent to all the poor— Who left a pledge behind.
Page 13 - Sidmouth and of the conduct of the excellent Mrs. Partington on that occasion. In the winter of 1824 there set in a great flood upon that town; the tide rose to an incredible height; the waves rushed in upon the houses; and everything was threatened with destruction. In the midst of this sublime and terrible storm Dame Partington, who lived upon the beach, was seen at the door of her house with mop and pattens, trundling her mop, squeezing out the sea-water, and vigorously pushing away the Atlantic...
Page 221 - He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And he looked" like a peddler just opening his pack.
Page 67 - SEA The Sea! the Sea! the open Sea! The blue, the fresh, the ever free! Without a mark, without a bound, It runneth the earth's wide regions 'round; It plays with the clouds; it mocks the skies; Or like a cradled creature lies. I'm on the Sea! I'm on the Sea! I am where I would ever be...
Page 220 - Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
Page 220 - And curs of low degree. This dog and man at first were friends ; But when a pique began, The dog, to gain some private ends, Went mad and bit the man. Around, from all the...
Page 47 - NOON, by the North clock ! Noon, by the east ! High noon, too, by these hot sunbeams which fall, scarcely aslope, upon my head, and almost make the water bubble and smoke in the trough under my nose. Truly, we public characters have a tough time of it ! And, among all the town officers, chosen at March meeting, where is he that sustains, for a single year, the burden of such manifold duties as are imposed, in perpetuity, upon the Town Pump ? The title of " town treasurer" is rightfully mine, as guardian...
Page 391 - Should I turn upon the true prince ? Why, thou knowest, I am as valiant as Hercules: but beware instinct; the lion will not touch the true prince. Instinct is a great matter ; I was a coward on instinct. I shall think the better of myself and thee, during my life; I, for a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince.
Page 220 - And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,— When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.