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and no such matter: that's the scene that I | Against that power that red it. There will she would see, which will be merely a dumb-show. Let us send her to call him in to dinner. 233 Exeunt Don PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and LEONATO. Bene. Advancing from the arbour. This can be no trick the conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady: it seems her affections have their full bent. Love me! why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censured: they say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her; they say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to marry: I must not seem proud : happy are they that hear their detractions, and can put them to mending. They say the lady is fair: 'tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous: 'tis so, I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving me. By my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her. I may chance have some old quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage; but doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No; the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day! she's a fair lady: I do spy some marks of love in her. 262


Beat. Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.

Bene. Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains. Beat. I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me: if it had been painful, I would not have come.

Bene. You take pleasure then in the message? Beat. Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife's point, and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, signior: fare you well. Exit. Bene. Ha! Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner;' there's a double meaning in that. I took no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me;' that's as much as to say, Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks. If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture.

Exit. 280




Hero. Good Margaret, run thee to the parlour;
There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice
Proposing with the prince and Claudio:
Whisper her ear, and tell her I and Ursula
Walk in the orchard, and our whole discourse
Is all of her; say that thou overheard'st us,
And bid her steal into the pleached bower,
Where honey-suckles, ripen'd by the sun,
Forbid the sun to enter; like favourites,
Made proud by princes, that advance their pride

To listen our propose. This is thy office;
Bear thee well in it and leave us alone.
Marg. I'll make her come, I warrant you,
Hero. Now, Ursula, when Beatrice doth come,
As we do trace this alley up and down,
Our talk must only be of Benedick:
When I do name him, let it be thy part
To praise him more than ever man did merit.
My talk to thee must be how Benedick
Is sick in love with Beatrice: of this matter
Is little Cupid's crafty arrow made,
That only wounds by hearsay.


Enter BEATRICE, behind.
Now begin;
For look where Beatrice, like a lapwing, runs
Close by the ground, to hear our conference.

Urs. The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish
Cut with her golden oars the silver stream,
And greedily devour the treacherous bait :
So angle we for Beatrice; who even now
Is couched in the woodbine coverture.
Fear you not my part of the dialogue.

Hero. Then go we near her, that her ear lose

Of the false sweet bait that we lay for it.
No, truly, Ursula, she is too disdainful;
I know her spirits are as coy and wild
As haggards of the rock.

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But are you sure
That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely?
Hero. So says the prince, and my new-trothed

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How wise, how noble, young, how rarely featur'd,
But she would spell him backward: if fair-fac'd,
She would swear the gentleman should be her


If black, why, Nature, drawing of an antick, Made a foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed; If low, an agate very vilely cut;

| If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds;

If silent, why, a block moved with none.
So turns she every man the wrong side out,
And never gives to truth and virtue that
Which simpleness and merit purchaseth.
Urs. Sure, sure, such carping is not commend-


will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string, and the little hangman dare not shoot at him. He hath a heart as sound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper; for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks.

Hero. No; not to be so odd and from all

As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable.
But who dare tell her so? If I should speak,
She would mock me into air: O! she would
laugh me

Bene. Gallants, I am not as I have been.
Leon. So say I: methinks you are sadder.
Claud. I hope he be in love.

D. Pedro. Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in him, to be truly touched with love. If he be sad, he wants money.


Bene. I have the tooth-ache.

Out of myself, press me to death with wit.
Therefore let Benedick, like cover'd fire,
Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly :
It were a better death than die with mocks,
Which is as bad as die with tickling.


Urs. Yet tell her of it: hear what she will say.
Hero. No; rather I will go to Benedick,
And counsel him to fight against his passion.
And, truly, I'll devise some honest slanders
To stain my cousin with. One doth not know
How much an ill word may empoison liking.
Urs. O! do not do your cousin such a wrong.
She cannot be so much without true judgment,
Having so swift and excellent a wit
As she is priz'd to have, as to refuse
So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick.
Hero. He is the only man of Italy,
Always excepted my dear Claudio.

Urs. I pray you, be not angry with me, madam,
Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedick,
For shape, for bearing, argument and valour,
Goes foremost in report through Italy.

Hero. Indeed, he hath an excellent good name.
Urs. His excellence did earn it, ere he had it.
When are you married, madam?

Hero. Why, every day, to-morrow.
go in :

I'll show thee some attires, and have thy counsel
Which is the best to furnish me to-morrow.


Urs. She's lim'd, I warrant you: we have caught her, madam.

Hero. If it prove so, then loving goes by haps:
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.
Exeunt HERO and URSULA.
Beat. Coming forward. What fire is in mine
ears? Can this be true?

Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so
Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu!
No glory lives behind the back of such.
And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,

Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand:
If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
To bind our loves up in a holy band;
For others say thou dost deserve, and I
Believe it better than reportingly.




D. Pedro. I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon. Claud. I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll vouchsafe me.

D. Pedro. Nay; that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage, as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it, I

D. Pedro. Draw it.

Bene. Hang it.

Claud. You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

D. Pedro. What! sigh for the tooth-ache?
Leon. Where is but a humour or a worm.

Bene. Well, every one can master a grief but he that has it.

Claud. Yet say I, he is in love.


D. Pedro. There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman to-day, a Frenchman to-morrow, or in the shape of two countries at once, as, a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.

Claud. If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: a' brushes his hat o' mornings; what should that bode?


D. Pedro. Hath any man seen him at the barber's?

Claud. No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him, and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis-balls.

Leon. Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

D. Pedro. Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that?


Claud. That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love.

D. Pedro. The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

Claud. And when was he wont to wash his face? D. Pedro. Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him.

Claud. Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string, and now governed by stops.


D. Pedro. Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude he is in love.

Claud. Nay, but I know who loves him.

D. Pedro. That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

Claud. Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of all, dies for him.

D. Pedro. She shall be buried with her face upwards.


Bene. Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear.

Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO. D. Pedro. For my life, to break with him about Beatrice,



with you.



Claud. 'Tis even so, Hero and Margaret have Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good by this played their parts with Beatrice, and for them, if they should have any allegiance in then the two bears will not bite one another them, being chosen for the prince's watch. when they meet.

Verg. Well, give them their charge, neighbour Enter Don JOHN.


Dogb. First, who think you the most desartless D. John. My lord and brother, God save you!

man to be constable ? D. Pedry. Good den, brother.

First Watch. Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George D. John. If your leisure served, I would speak Seacoal, for they can write and read.

Dogb. Come hither, neighbour Seacoal. God D. Pedro. In private?

hath blessed you with a good name: to be a D. John. If it please you; yet Count Claudio well-favoured man is the gift of fortune, but to may hear, for what I would speak of concernshim. write and read comes by nature. D. Pedro. What's the matter?

Second Watch. Both which, Masterconstable, D. John. To CLAUD10. Means your lordship

Dogb. You have : I knew it would be your to be married to morrow?

answer. Well, for your favour, sir, why, give D. Pedro. You know he does.

God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for D. John. I know not that, when he knows your writing and reading, let that appear when what I know.

there is no need of such vanity. You are thought Claud. If there be any impediment, I pray you here to be the most senseless and fit man for the discover it.

constable of the watch; therefore bear you the D. John. You may think I love you not : let lantern. This is your charge: you shall com. that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by prehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man that I now will manifest. For my brother, I

stand, in the prince's name. think he holds you well, and in dearness of

Watch. How if a' will not stand ! heart hath holp to effect your ensuing mar

Dogb. Why, then take no note of him, but let riage; surely suit

spent, and labour ill him go; and presently call the rest of the watch bestowed !

together, and thank God you are rid of a knave. D. Pedro. Why, what's the matter?

Verg. If he will not stand when he is bidden, D. John I came bither to tell you ; and, cir- he is none of the prince's subjects. cumstances shortened, for she has been too long

Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none a talking of, the lady is disloyal.

but the prince's subjects. You shall also make Claud. Who? Hero ?

no noise in the streets : for for the watch to D. John. Even she: Leonato's Hero, your babble and talk is most tolerable and not to be Hero, every man's Hero.

endured. Claud. Disloyal ?

Watch. We will rather sleep than talk : we D. John. The word is too good to paint ont know what belongs to a watch. her wickedness; I could say she were worse :

Dogb. Why, you speak like an ancient and think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to

most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleepit. Wonder not till further warrant: go but with ing should offend ; only have a care that your me to-night, you shall see her chamber-window bills be not stolen. Well

, you are to call at all entered, even the night before her wedding, the alehouses, and bid those that are drunk get day: if you love her then, to-morrow wed her ; them to bed. but it would better fit your honour to change

Watch. How if they will not ?

Dogb. Why then, let them alone till they are Claud. May this be so ?

120 sober: if they make you not then the better D. Pedro. I will not think it. D. John. If you dare not trust that you see, took them for.

answer, you may say they are not the men you confess not that you know. If you will follow me,

Watch. Well, sir. I will show you enough; and when you have

Dogb. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly; by virtue of your office, to be no true man; and,

Claud. If I see anything to-night why I should for such kind of men, the less you meddle or not marry her to-morrow, in the congregation, make with them, why, the more is for your where I should wed, there will I shame her.

honesty. D. Pedro. And, as I wooed for thee to obtain

Watch. If we know him to be a thief, shall her, I will join with thee to disgrace her.

we not lay hands on him? D. John. I will disparage her no further till

Dogb. Truly, by your office you may ; but I you are my witnesses : bear it coldly but till mid- think they that touch pitch will be defiled. The night, and let the issue show itself.

most peaceable way for you, if you do take a 1 D. Pedro. O day untowardly turned !

thief, is to let him show himself what he is and Claud. O mischief strangely thwarting ! steal out of your company. D. John. O plague right well prevented! So

Verg. You have been always called a merciful will you say when you have seen the sequel.

man, partner. Excunt.

Dogb. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, SCENE III.- A Street.

much more a man who hath any honesty in him.

Verg. If you hear a child cry in the night, you Enter DOGBERRY and VERGES, with the Watch.

must call to the nurse and bid her still it. Dogb. Are you good men and true ?

Watch. How if the nurse be asleep and will Verg. Yea, or else it were pity but they should not hear us? suffer salvation, body and soul.

Dogb. Why, then depart in peace, and let the



your mind.






child wake her with crying; for the ewe that will god Bel's priests in the old church-window; not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer sometime liketheshaven Hercules in the smirched a calf when he bleats.

worm-eaten tapestry, where his cod-piece seems Verg. 'Tis very true.

as massy as his club? Dogb. This is the end of the charge. You, Con. All this I see, and I see that the fashion constable, are to present the prince's own person: wears out more apparel than the man. But art if you meet the prince in the night, you may not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, stay him.

that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling Verg. Nay, by 'r lady, that I think a' cannot. me of the fashion ? Dogb. Five shillings one on 't, with any man Bora. Not so neither ; but know that I have that knows the statues, he may stay him: marry, to-night wooed Margaret, the lady Hero's gentle-, not without the prince be willing; for, indeed, woman, by the name of Hero : she leans me the watch ought to offend no man, and it is an out at her mistress' chamber-window, bids me offence to stay a man against his will.

a thousand times good night, I tell this tale Verg. By 'r lady, I think it be so.

vilely :-I should first tell thee how the prince, Dogb. Ha, ah, ha! Well, masters, good night: Claudio, and my master, planted and placed and an there be any matter of weight chances, call possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off up me. Keep your fellows' counsels and your in the orchard this amiable encounter, own, and good night. Come, neighbour.

Con. And thought they Margaret was Hero?, IVatch. Well, masters, we hear our charge : Bora. Twoof them did, the prince and Claudio; let us go sit here upon the church-bench till two, but the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and then all to bed.

and partly by his oaths, which first possessed Dogb. One word more, honest neighbours. I them, partly by the dark night, which did depray you, watch about Signior Leonato's door ; ceive them, but chiefly by my villany, which did for the wedding being there to-morrow, there confirm any slander that Don John had made, is a great coil to-night. Adieu ; be vigitant, I away went Claudio enraged; swore he would beseech you.

Ercunt DOGBERRY and VERGES. meet her, as he was appointed, next morning at Enter BORACHIO and CONRADE.

the temple, and there, before the whole congre

gation, shame her with what he saw over night, Bora. What, Conrade!

101 and send her home again without a husband. 171 IPatch. Aside. Peace! stir not.

First Watch. We charge you in the prince's Bora, Conrade, I say !

name, stand! Con. Here, man, I am at thy elbow,

Second Watch. Call up the right Master conBora. Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought stable. We have here recovered the most danthere would a scab follow.

gerous piece of lechery that ever was known in Con. I will owe thee an answer for that; and the commonwealth, now forward with thy tale.

First Watch. And one Deformed is one of them : Bora. Stand thee close then under this pent. I know him, a' wears a lock, house, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true Con. Masters, masters! drunkard, utter all to thee.

Second Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed Watch. Aside. Some treason, masters; yet forth, I warrant you. stand close.

Con. Masters, Bora. Therefore know I have earned of Don Pirst Watch. Never speak: we charge you let John a thousand ducats.

us obey you to go with us. Con. Is it possible that any villany should be Bora. Weare like to prove a goodly commodity, so dear?

being taken up of these men's bills. Bora. Thou should'st rather ask if it were pos- Con. A commodity in question, I warrant you. sible any villany should be so rich ; for when Come, we'll obey you.

Exeunt. rich villains have need of poor opes, poor ones may make what price they will,

SCENE IV.-A Room in LEONATO's House. Cow. I wonder at it.

Bora. That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou Enter HERO, MARGARET, and URSULA. knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, llero. Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.

and desire her to rise. Con. Yes, it is apparel.

Urs. I will, lady. Bora. I mean, the fashion.

Hero. And bid her come hither. Con. Yes, the fashion is the fashion.

Urs. Well.

E.rit. Bora. Tush! I may as well say the fool's the Marg. Troth, I tbink your other rabato were fool. But seest thou not what a deformed thief better. this fashion is ?

Hero. No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this. Watch. Aside. I know that Deformed ; a' has Marg. By my troth's not so good ; and I been a vile thief this seven year; a' goes up and warrant, your cousin will say so. down like a gentleman : I remember his name. Hero. My cousin's a fool, and thou art another:

Bora. Didst thou not hear somebody? . I'll wear none but this.
Con. No: 'twas the vane on the house.

Marg. I like the new tire within excellently, Bora. Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed if the hair were a thought browner ; and your thief this fashion is ? how giddily a' turns about gown's a most rare fashion, i' faith. I saw the all the hot bloods between fourteen and five-and. Duchess of Milan's gown that they praise so. thirty! sometime fashioning them like Pharaoh's Hero. O ! that exceeds, they say. soldiers in the reeky painting ; sometime like Marg. By my troth, 's but a night gown in





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respect of yours : cloth o gold, and cuts, and be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and laced with silver, set with pearls down sleeves, now is he become a man : he swore he would side sleeves, and skirts round, underborne with never marry; and yet now, in despite of his a bluish tinsel ; but for a fine, qnaint, graceful, heart, he eats his meat without grudging: and and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on't. how you may be converted, I know not, but

Hero. God give me joy to wear it! for my methinks you look with your eyes as other heart is exceeding heavy.

women do. Marj. "Twill be heavier soon by the weight Beat. What pace is this that thy tongue keeps ! of a man.

Marg. Not a false gallop. Hero. Fie upon thee! art not ashamed ?

Re-enter URSULA. Marg. Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? Is not marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not I'rs. Madam, withdraw : the prince, the count, your lord honourable without marriage ? I think Signior Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants you would have me say, 'saving your reverence, of the town, are come to fetch you to church. a husband': an bad thinking do not wrest true llero. Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, speaking, I 'll offend nobody. Is there any barm good Ursula.

Ereunt. 10) in 'the heavier for a husband?' None, I think, an it be the right husband and the right wife; SCENE V. - Another Room in LEONATO's House. otherwise 'tis light, and not heavy: ask my Lady Beatrice else ; here she comes.

Lcon. What would

you with me, honest Enler BEATRICE.

neighbour ? IIcro. Good morrow, coz.

Dogb. Marry, sir, I would have some confidence Beat. Good morrow, sweet Hero.

40 with you, that decerns you nearly. Hero. Why, how now? do you speak in the Leon. Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a sick tune ?

busy time with me. Beat, I am out of all other tune, methinks. Dogb. Marry, this it is, sir. Marg. Clap us into Light o'love': that goes Verg. Yes, in truth it is, sir. without a burtben: do yon sing it, and I'll Leon. What is it, my good friends? dance it.

Dogb. Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off Beat. Ye light o’ love, with your heels! then, the matter : an old man, sir, and his wits are if your husband bave stables enough, you 'll see not so blunt, as, God help, I would desire they he shall lack no barns.

were ; but, in faith, honest as the skin between Marg. O illegitimate construction! I scorn his brows. that with my heels.

Verg. Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any Bcat. 'Tis almost five o'clock, cousin : 'tis time man living that is an old man and no honester you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding than I. ill. Heigh-ho!

Dogb. Comparisons are odorous : palabras, Marg. For a hawk, a horse, or a husband ? neighbour Verges. Beat. For the letter that begins them all, H. Leon. Neighbours, you are tedious.

Marg. Well, an you be not turned Turk, Dogb. It pleases your worship to say so, but there's no more sailing by the star.

we are the poor duke's officers ; but, truly, for Beat. What means the fool, trow?

mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I Marg. Nothing I; but God send every one could find in my heart to bestow it all of your their heart's desire!

61 worship. llero. These gloves the count sent me; they Leon. All thy tediousness on me? ha! are an excellent perfume.

Dogb. Yea, an 'twere a thousand pound more Beat. I am stuffed, cousin, I cannot smell. than 'tis ; for I hear as good exclamation on your

Marg. A maid, and stuffed! there's goodly worship, as of any man in the city, and though I catching of cold.

be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it. Beat. 0, God help me! God help me! how Verg. And so am I. long have you professed apprehension ?

Lcon. I would fain know what you have to say. Marg. Ever since you left it. Doth not my Verg. Marry, sir, our watch to-night, excepting wit become me rarely?

50 your worship’s presence, have ta'en a couple of Beat. It is not seen enough, you should wear as arrant knaves as any in Messina. it in your cap. By my troth, I am sick.

Dogb. A good old man, sir ; he will be talking : Marg. Get you some of this distilled Carduus as they say, “When the age is in, the wit is out.' Benedictus, and lay it to your heart: it is thic God help us! it is a world to see! Well said, i' only thing for a qualm.

faith, neighbour Verges : well, God's a good Hero. There thon prickest her with a thistle. man; an two men ride of a horse, one must

Bcat. Benedictus ! why Benedictus ? you have ride behind. An honest soul, i' faith, sir: by some moral in this Benedictus.

78 my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is Marg. Moral! no, by my troth, I have no to be worshipped : all men are not alike ; alas ! moral meaning; I meant, plain holy-thistle. good neighbour. You may think, perchance, that I think you are Leon. Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short in love ; nay, by 'r lady, I am not such a fool to of you. think what I list; nor I list not to think what Dogb. Gifts that God gives. I can ; nor indeed, I cannot think, if I would Leon. I must leave you. think my heart out of thinking, that you are in Dogb. One word, sir. Our watch, sir, have love, or that you will be in lore, or that you can | indeed comprehended two aspicious persons, and


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