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I never dealt better since I was a man: all would not do. A plague of all cowards! Let them speak: if they speak more or less than truth, they are villains and the sons of darkness.
Prince. Speak, sirs; how was it?
Gads. We four set upon some dozen,—
Gads. And bound them.
Peto. No, no, they were not bound. Fal. You rogue, they were bound, every man of them; or I am a Jew else, an Ebrew Jew.
Gads. As we were sharing, some six or seven fresh men set upon us,
Fal. And unbound the rest, and then come in
could'st not see thy hand? come, tell us your reason: what sayest thou to this?
Poins. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason. Fal. What upon compulsion? 'Zounds! an I were at the strappado, or all the racks in the 190 world, I would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion! if reasons were as plenty as blackberries I would give no man a reason upon compulsion, I.
Prince. I'll be no longer guilty of this sin : this sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh;---
Prince. What! fought you with them all? 200 Fal. All I know not what you call all; but if I fought not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of radish: if there were not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack, then am I no twolegged creature.
Prince. Pray God you have not murdered some of them.
Fal. Nay, that's past praying for: I have peppered two of them: two I am sure I have paid, two rogues in buckram suits. I tell thee what, Hal, if I tell thee a lie, spit in my face, call me horse. Thou knowest my old ward; here I lay, and thus I bore my point. Four rogues in buckram let drive at me,
Prince. What! four? thou said'st but two
Fal. Four, Hal; I told thee four.
Poins. Ay, ay, he said four.
Fal. These four came all a-front, and mainly thrust at me. I made me no more ado but took all their seven points in my target, thus. Prince. Seven? why, there were but four even
Prince. We two saw you four set on four and bound them, and were masters of their wealth. Mark now, how a plain tale shall put you down. Then did we two set on you four, and, with a word, out-faced you from your prize, and have it; yea, and can show it you here in the house. And, Falstaff, you carried your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I heard bull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou hast done, and then say it was in fight! What trick, what device, what startinghole canst thou now find out to hide thee from this open and apparent shame ?
Poins. Come, let's hear, Jack; what trick hast thou now?
Fal. In buckram?
Poins. Ay, four, in buckram suits. Fal. Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else.
Prince. Prithee, let him alone; we shall have
Fal. By the Lord, I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why, hear you, my masters: was it for me to kill the heir apparent? should I turn upon the true prince? why, thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules; but beware instinct: the lion will not touch the true prince. Instinct is a great matter, I was a coward on instinct. I shall think the better of myself and thee during my life; I for a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince. But, by the Lord, lads, I am glad you have the money. Hostess, clap to the doors: watch to-night, pray to-morrow. Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold, all the titles of good fellowship come to you! What! shall we be merry? shall we have a play extempore?
Fal. Dost thou hear me, Hal?
Prince. Content; and the argument shall be thy running away.
Fal. Ah! no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest me.
Prince. So, two more already.
Fal. Their points being broken,-
Fal. Began to give me ground; but I followed me close, came in foot and hand, and with a thought seven of the eleven I paid.
Prince. O monstrous! eleven buckram men grown out of two.
Fal. But, as the devil would have it, three misbegotten knaves in Kendal-green came at my back and let drive at me; for it was so dark, Hal, that thou could'st not see thy hand.
Prince. These lies are like their father that begets them; gross as a mountain, open, palpable. Why, thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow ketch,250
Fal. What! art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the truth the truth?
Fal. 'Sblood, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's-pizzle, you stockfish! O! for breath to utter what is like thee; you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck ;
Prince. Why, how could'st thou know these men in Kendal-green, when it was so dark thou
Prince. Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again; and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons, hear me speak but this. Poins. Mark, Jack.
Enter Mistress QUICKLY.
Quick. O Jesu! My lord the prince!
Prince. How now, my lady the hostess! what sayest thou to me?
Quick. Marry, my lord, there is a nobleman of the court at door would speak with you: he says he comes from your father.
Prince. Give him as much as will make him a royal man, and send him back again to my mother.
Fal. What manner of man is he?
Fal. What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight? Shall I give him his answer?
Prince. Prithee, do, Jack.
the news: you may buy land now as cheap as Pal. Faith, and I'll send him packing. Exit. stinking mackerel.
Prince. Now, sirs : by 'r lady, you fought fair; Prince. Why then, it is like, if there come a so did you, Peto ; so did you, Bardolph : you hot June and this civil buffeting bold, we shall are lions too, you ran away upon instinct, you buy maidenheads as they buy hob-nails, by the will not touch the true prince, no; fie!
hundreds. Bard. Faith, I ran when I saw others run. Pal. By the mass, lad, thou sayest true; it is
Prince. Faith, tell me now in earnest, how like we shall have good trading that way. But came Falstaff's sword so hacked ?
tell me, Hal, art thou not horrible afeard! thou Peto. Why, he hacked it with his dagger, and being heir apparent, could the world pick thee said he would swear truth out of England but out three such enemies again as that fiend he would make you believe it was done in fight, Douglas, that spirit Percy, and that devil Glen. and persuaded us to do the like.
dower ? Art thou not horribly afraid ? doth not Bard. Yea, and to tickle our noses with spear-thy blood thrill at it ? grass to make them bleed, and then to beslubber Prince. Not a whit, i' faith ; I lack some of our garments with it and swear it was the blood thy instinct. of true men. I did that I did not this seven Pal. Well, thou wilt be horribly chid to-morrow year before; I blushed to hear his monstrous when thou comest to thy father: if thou love devices.
me, practise an answer. Prince. O villain ! thou stolest a cup of sack Prince. Do thou stand for my father, and eighteen years ago, and wert taken with the examine me upon the particulars of my life. 411 manner, and ever since thou hast blushed ex- Pal. Shall I ! content: this chair shall be my tempore. Thou hadst fire and sword on thy state, this dagger my sceptre, and this cushion side, and yet thou rannest away. What instinct my crown. hadst thou for it?
Prince. Thy state is taken for a joint-stool, Bard. My lord, do you see these meteors ? do thy golden sceptre for a leaden dagger, and thy you behold these exhalations?
precious rich crown for a pitiful bald crown! Prince. I do.
Fal. Well, an the fire of grace be not quite Bard. What think you they portend ?
out of thee, now shalt thou be moved. Give me a Prince. Hot livers and cold purses.
cup of sack to make mine eyes look red, that it Bard. Choler, my lord, if rightly taken. may be thought I have wept; for I must speak in Prince. No, if rightly taken, halter.
passion, and I will do it in King Cambyses' vein.
Prince. Well, here is my leg.
Pal. And here is my speech. Stand aside, Here comes lean Jack, here comes bare-bone. nobility. How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How Quick. O Jesu ! this is excellent sport, i' faith, long is 't ago, Jack, since thou sawest thine Pal. Weep not, sweet queen, for trickling tears own knee?
are vain. Fal. My own kneel when I was about thy Quick. O, the father ! how he holds his counyears, Hal, I was not an eagle's talon in the tenance. waist; I could have crept into any alderman's Pal. For God's sake, lords, convey my tristful thumb-ring. A plague of sighing and grief !
queen, it blows a man up like a bladder. There's For tears do stop the flood-gates of her eyes. villanons news abroad: here was Sir John Bracy Quick. O Jesu! he doth it as like one of these from your father : you must to the court in the harlotry players as ever I see. morning That same mad fellow of the north, Fal. Peace, good pint-pot! peace, good ticklePercy, and he of Wales, that gave Amaimon the brain ! Harry, I do not only marvel where thou bastinado and made Lucifer cuckold, and swore spendest thy time, but also how thou art accom. the devil his true liegeman upon the cross of a panied : for though the camomile, the more it is Welsh hook-what a plague call you him? 370 trodden on the faster it grows, yet youth, the Poins. O! Glendower.
more it is wasted the sooner it wears. That thon Fal. Owen, Owen; the same; and his son-in- art my son, I have partly thy mother's word, law Mortimer, and old Northumberland; and partly my own opinion ; but chiefly a villanons that sprightly Scot of Scots, Douglas, that runs trick of thine eye and a foolish hanging of thy o' horseback up a hill perpendicular.
nether lip, that doth warrant me. If then thou Prince. He that rides at high speed and with be son to me, here lies the point; why, being his pistol kills a sparrow flying.
son to me, art thou so pointed at ! Shall the Fal. You have hit it.
blessed sun of heaven prove a micher and eat Prince. So did he never the sparrow.
blackberries ? a question not to be asked. Shall Pal. Well, that rascal hath good mettle in the son of England prove a thief and take him ; he will not run.
purses ? a question to be asked. There is a thing, Prince. Why, what a rascal art thou then, to Harry, which thou hast often heard of, and it is praise him so for running !
known to many in our land by the name of pitch: Pal. O'horseback, ye cuckoo ! but afoot he this pitch, as ancient writers do report, doth will not budge a foot.
defile ; so doth the company thou keepest ; for, Prince. Yes, Jack, upon instinct.
Harry, now I do not speak to thee in drink but Fal. I grant ye, upon instinct. Well, he is in tears, not in pleasure but in passion, not in there too, and one Mordake, and a thousand words only, but in woes also. And yet there is blue-caps more. Worcester is stolen away to. a virtuous man whom I have often noted in thy night; thy father's beard is turned white with company, but I know not his name.
Prince. What manner of man, an it like your Prince. I do, I will.
A knocking heard. majesty!
Exeunt Mistress QUICKLY, FRANCIS, Fal. A goodly portly man, i' faith, and a cor'
and BARDOLPH. pulent ; of a cheerful look, a pleasing eye, and
Re-enter BARDOLPH, running. a most noble carriage; and, as I think, his age some fifty, or, by 'r lady, inclining to three- Bard. O! my lord, my lord, the sheriff with score ; and now I remember me, his name is a most monstrous watch is at the door. Falstaff : if that man should be lewdly given, Pal. Out, ye rogue! Play out the play: I have he deceiveth me; for, Harry, I see.virtue in his much to say in the behalf of that Falstaff. looks. If then the tree may be known by the fruit, as the fruit by the tree, then, peremptorily
Re-enter Mistress QUICKLY. I speak it, there is virtue in that Falstaff: him Quick. O Jesu ! my lord, my lord ! keep with, the rest banish.
And tell me now, Prince. Heigh, heigh! the devil rides upon a thou naughty varlet, tell me, where hast thou fiddle-stick : what's the matter? been this month?
Quick. The sheriff and all the watch are at Prince. Dost thou speak like a king? Do the door : they are come to search the house. thou stand for me, and I'll play my father. Shall I let them in ?
Pal. Depose me? if thou dost it half so gravely, Pal, Dost thou hear, Hal ? never call a true so majestically, both in word and matter, hang piece of gold a counterfeit : thou art essentially me up by the heels for a rabbit-sucker or a mad without seeming so. poulter's hare.
Prince. And thou a natural coward without Prince. Well, here I am set.
480 | instinct. Pal. And here I stand. Judge, my masters. Pal. I deny your major. If you will deny the Prince. Now, Harry! whence come you? sheriff, so; if not, let him enter: if I become Pal. My noble lord, from Eastcheap.
not a cart as well as another man, a plague on Prince. The complaints I hear of thee are my bringing up! I hope I shall as soon be grievous.
strangled with a halter as another. Pal. 'Sblood, my lord, they are false: nay, Prince. Go, hide thee behind the arras : the I'll tickle ye for a young prince, i' faith. rest walk up above. Now, my masters, for a
Prince. Swearest thou, ungracious boy? hence- true face and good conscience. fortb ne'er look on me. Thou art violently Fal. Both which I have had ; but their date carried away from grace : there is a devil haunts is out, and therefore I'll hide me. thee in the likeness of an old fat man; a tun of Prince. Call in the sheriff. man is thy companion. Why dost thou converse
Excunt all but the PRINCE and PETO. with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swoln parcel of dropsies, that
Enter Sheriff and Carrier. huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag Now, Master sheriff, what's your will with me? of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with the Sher. First, pardon me, my lord. A hue and pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in Hath follow'd certain men unto this house. years? Wherein is he good but to taste sack Prince. What men ? and drink it? wherein neat and cleanly but to Sher. One of them is well known, my gracious carve a capon and eat it? wherein cunning but in craft? wherein crafty but in villany? wherein A gross fat man. villanous but in all things ? wherein worthy but Car.
As fat as butter. in pothing?
Prince. The man, I do assure you, is not here, Pal. I would your grace would take me with For I myself at this time have employ'd him. Fou: whom means your grace?
And, sheriff, I will engage my word to thee, Prince. That villanous abominable misleader That I will, by to-morrow dinner-time, of youth, Falstaff, that old white-bearded Send him to answer thee, or any man, Satan.
For any thing he shall be charg'd withal : Fal. My lord, the man I know.
And so let me entreat you leave the house. Prince. I know thou dost.
Sher. I will, my lord. There are two gentlemen Pal. But to say I know more harm in him Have in this robbery lost three hundred marks. than in myself were to say more than I know. Prince. It may be so : if he have robb'd these That he is old, the more the pity, his white men, hairs do witness it: but that he is, saving your He shall be answerable; and so farewell. reverence, a whoremaster, that I utterly deny. Sher. Good night, my noble lord. If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the Prince. I think it is good morrow, is it not ? wicked! If to be old and merry be a sin, then Sher. Indeed, my lord, I think it be two o'clock. many an old host that I know is damned: if to
Exeunt Sheriff and Carrier. be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh's lean kine Prince. This oily rascal is known as well as are to be loved. No, my good lord ; banish Peto, Paul's. Go, call him forth. banish Bardolph, banish Poins ; but for sweet Peto. Falstaff! Fast asleep behind the arras, Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack and snorting like a horse. Falstaff, valiant Jack Falstaff, and therefore Prince. Hark, how hard he fetches breath. more valiant, being, as he is, old Jack Falstaff, Search his pockets. banish not him thy Harry's company, banish
le searcheth his pockets, and findeth not him thy Harry's company : banish plump
certain papers. Jack, and banish all the world.
What hast thou found !
Peto. Nothing but papers, my lord.
To tell you once again that at my birth Prince. Let's see what they be : read them. The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes, Peto. Item, A capon
The goats ran from the mountains, and the herds
4d. Item, Sauce
Were strangely clamorous to the frighted fields.
These signs have mark'd me extraordinary ;
And all the courses of my life do show
I am not in the roll of common men.
Where is he living, clipp'd in with the sea
That chides the banks of England, Scotland, Prince. O monstrous ! but one half-penny. Wales, worth of bread to this intolerable deal of sack! Which calls me pupil, or hath read to me? What there is else, keep close ; we'll read it at And bring him out that is but woman's son more advantage. There let him sleep till day. Can trace me in the tedious ways of art I'll to the court in the morning. We must all And hold me pace in deep experiments. to the wars, and thy place shall be honourable.
Hot. I think there's no man speaks better I'll procure this fat rogue a charge of foot; and
Mort. Peace, cousin Percy! you will make him with advantage. Be with me betimes in the
mad. morning; and so, good morrow, Peto.
Glend. I can call spirits from the vasty deep. Peto. Good morrow, good my lord. Exeunt.
Hot. Why, so can I, or so can any man;
Glend. Why, I can teach you, cousin, to
command SCENE I. -- Bangor. A Room in the Archdeacon's The devil. House.
Hot. And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the
devil Enter HOTSPUR, WORCESTER, MORTIMER,
By telling truth : tell truth and shame the devil. and GLENDOWER.
If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither, Mort. These promises are fair, the parties sure, And I'll be sworn I have power to shame him And our induction full of prosperous hope.
hence. Hot. Lord Mortimer, and cousin Glendower, 0! while you live, tell truth and shame the devil. Will you sit down?
Mort. Come, come ;
Glend. Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke
made head Sit, cousin Percy ; sit, good cousin Hotspur ; Against my power; thrice from the banks of Wye For by that name as oft as Lancaster
And sandy-bottom'd Severn have I sent him Doth speak of you, his cheek looks pale and with Bootless home and weather-beaten back. A rising sigh he wisheth you in heaven.
Hot. Home without boots, and in foul weather Hot. And you in hell, as oft as he hears Owen too! Glendower spoke of.
How 'scapes he agues, in the devil's name? Glend. I cannot blame him : at my nativity Glend. Come, here's the map: shall we divide The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes,
our right Of burning cressets; and at my birth
According to our threefold order ta'en ? The frame and huge foundation of the earth Mort. The archdeacon bath divided it Shak'd like a coward.
Into three limits very equally. Hot. Why, so it would have done at the same England, from Trent and Severn hitherto, season, if your mother's cat had but kittened, By south and east, is to my part assign'd: though yourself had never been born.
All westward, Wales beyond the Severn shore, Glend. I say the earth did shake when I was born. And all the fertile land within that bound, Hot. And I say the earth was not of my mind, To Owen Glendower : and, dear coz, to you If you suppose as fearing you it shook. The remnant northward, lying off from Trent. s Glend. The heavens were all on fire, the earth | And our indentures tripartite are drawn, did tremble.
Which being sealed interchangeably, Hot. O! then the earth shook to see the A business that this night may execute, heavens on fire,
To-morrow, cousin Percy, you and I And not in fear of your nativity.
And my good Lord of Worcester will set forth Diseased nature oftentimes breaks forth
To meet your father and the Scottish power, In strange eruptions ; oft the teeming earth As is appointed us, at Shrewsbury. Is with a kind of colic pinch'd and vex'd My father Glendower is not ready yet, By the imprisoning of unruly wind
30 Nor shall we need his help these fourteen days. Within her womb; which, for enlargement within that space you may have drawn together striving,
Your tenants, friends, and neighbouring gentleShakes the old beldam earth, and topples down Steeples and moss-grown towers. At your birth Glend. A shorter time shall send me to you, Our grandam earth, having this distemperature, In passion shook.
And in my conduct shall your ladies come, Glend. Cousin, of many men
From whom you now must steal and take bo I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave
For there will be a world of water shed
As puts me from my faith. I tell you what; Upon tue parting of your wives and you.. He held me last night at least nine hours Mort. Methinks my moiety, north from Burton In reckoning up the several devils' names here,
That were his lackeys: I cried 'hum,' and 'well, In quantity equals not one of yours: See how this river comes me cranking in, But mark'd him not a word. 01 he's as tedious And cuts me from the best of all my land As a tired horse, a railing wife; A huge half-moon, a monstrous cantle out. Worse than a smoky house. I had rather live I'll have the current in this place damm'd up, With cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, And here the smug and silver Trent shall run Than feed on cates and have him talk to me In a new channel, fair and evenly :
In any summer-house in Christendom. It shall not wind with such a deep indent, Mort. In faith, he is a worthy gentleman, To rob me of so rich a bottom here.
Exceedingly well read, and profited Glend. Not wind! it shall, it must; you see In strange concealments, valiant as a lion it doth.
And wondrous affable, and as bountiful Mort. Yea, but
As mines of India. Shall I tell you, cousin ? Mark how he bears his course, and runs me up Ile holds your temper in a high respect, With like advantage on the other side; 110 And curbs himself even of his natural scope 170 Gelling the opposed continent as much
When you do cross his humour ; faith, he does. As on the other side it takes from you.
I warrant you, that man is not alive Ior. Yea, but a little charge will trench him Might so have tempted him as you have done, here,
Without the taste of danger and reproof : And on this north side win this cape of land; But do not use it oft, let me entreat you. And then he runs straight and even.
Nor. In faith, my lord, you are too wilful. Hol. I'll have it so; a little charge will do it. blame; Glenl. I will not have it alter'd.
And since your coming hither have done enough Hot.
Will not you? To put him quite beside his patience. Glend. No, nor you shall not.
You must needs learn, lord, to amend this fault: Ilot.
Who shall say me nay? | Though sometimes it show greatness, courage, Glend. Why, that will I.
Let me not understand you then : And that's the dearest grace it renders you, Speak it in Welsh.
Yet oftentimes it doth present harsh rage, Glend. I can speak English, lord, as well as Defect of manners, want of government, you,
Pride, haughtiness, opinion, and disdain :
Upon the beauty of all parts besides,
Hot. Well, I am school'd; good manners be Hot. Marry, and I'm glad of it with all my your speed ! heart.
Here come our wives, and let us take our leave. I had rather be a kitten, and cry mew Than one of these same metre ballad-mongers;
Re-enter GLENDOWER with the Ladies. I had rather hear a brazen canstick turn'd, Mort. This is the deadly spite that angers me; Or a dry wheel grate on the axle-tree;
My wife can speak no English, I no Welsh. And that would set my teeth nothing on edge, Glend. My daughter weeps; she will not part Nothing so much as mincing poetry : 'Tis like the forc'd gait of a shuffling nag. She'll be a soldier too: she'll to the wars.
Glend. Come, you shall have Trent turn'd. Mort. Good father, tell her that she and my Hot. I do not care: I'll give thrice so much aunt Percy land
Shall follow in your conduct speedily. To any well-deserving friend;
GLENDOWER speaks to her in Welsh, and But in the way of bargain, mark ye me,
she answers him in the same. I'll cavil on the ninth part of a hair.
Glend. She is desperate here; a peevish selfAre the indentures drawn? shall we be gone? 140 willed harlotry, one that no persuasion can do Glend. The moon shines fair, you may away good upon. She speaks to MORTIMER in Welsh. by night:
Mort. I understand thy looks : that pretty I'll haste the writer and withal
Welsh Break with your wives of your departure hence: Which thou down pourest from these swelling I am afraid my daughter will run mad,
heavens So much she doteth on her Mortimer. Exit. I am too perfect in; and, but for shame, Mort. Fie, cousin Percy! how you cross my In such a parley should I answer thee. father!
She speaks again. Hot. I cannot choose : sometime he angers me I understand thy kisses and thou mine, With telling me of the moldwarp and the ant, And that's a feeling disputation: Of the dreamer Merlin and his prophecies, But I will never be a truant, lore, And of a dragon, and a finless fish,
150 Till I have learn'd thy langnage; for thy tongue A clip-wing'd griffin, and a moulten raven, Makes Welsh as sweet as ditties highly penn'd, A couching lion, and a ramping cat,
Sung by a fair queen in a summer's bower, And such a deal of skimble-skamble stuff With ravishing division, to her lute