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Pan. That's true; make no question of that. 'Two-and-fifty hairs,' quoth he, and one white: that white hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons.' 'Jupiter!' quoth she, which of these hairs is Paris my husband?' 'The forked one,' quoth he; 'pluck 't out, and give it him.' But there was such laughing, and Helen so blushed, and Paris so chafed, and all the rest so laughed, that it passed.
Cres. So let it now, for it has been a great while going by.
Pan. Well, cousin, I told you a thing yesterday; think on 't.
devil come to him, it's all one: by God's lid, it does one's heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.
PARIS passes over.
Look ye yonder, niece; is 't not a gallant man too, is 't not? Why, this is brave now. Who said he came hurt home to-day he's not hurt: why, this will do Helen's heart good now, ba! Would I could see Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon.
HELENUS passes over.
TROILUS passes over.
Pan. Where? yonder? that 's Deiphobus. "Tis Troilus! there's a man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus! the prince of chivalry! Cres. Peace! for shame, peace!
Pan. Mark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon him, niece: look you how his sword is bloodied, and his helm more hacked
than Hector's; and how he looks, and how he goes. O admirable youth! he ne'er saw threeand-twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way! Had I a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess, he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris? Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to change, would give an eye to boot.
Cres. Here come more.
Soldiers pass over.
Pan. Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran! porridge after meat! I could live and die i' the eyes of Troilus. Ne'er look, ne'er look; the eagles are gone: crows and daws, crows and daws! I had rather be such a man as Troilus than Agamemnon and all Greece. s
Cres. There is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than Troilus.
Pan. Achilles! a drayman, a porter, a very camel.
Cres. Well, well.
Pan. 'Well, well!' Why, have you any discretion? have you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality, and so forth, the spice and salt that season a man?
Cres. Ay, a minced man: and then to be baked with no date in the pie, for then the man's date's out.
Pan. You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you lie.
Cres. Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine honesty: my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to defend all these:
and at all these wards I lie, at a thousand | To find persistive constancy in men: watches.
Pan. Say one of your watches.
Cres. Nay, I'll watch you for that; and that's one of the chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it's past watching. Pan. You are such another!
Boy. At your own house; there he unarms him.
Enter TROILUS's Boy.
Nest. With due observance of thy god-like seat,
Boy. Sir, my lord would instantly speak with Great Agamemnon, Nestor shall apply
But let the ruffian Boreas once enrage
Bounding between the two moist elements,
Pan. Good boy, tell him I come. Exit Boy. I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece. Cres. Adieu, uncle.
Pan. I'll be with you, niece, by and by.
Cres. To bring, uncle?
Pan. Ay, a token from Troilus.
Cres. By the same token, you are a bawd.
Men prize the thing ungain'd more than it is:
SCENE III.-The Grecian Camp. Before
Sennet. Enter AGAMEMNON, NESTOR, ULYSSES,
Thou great commander, nerve and bone of Greece,
To NESTOR. And thou most reverend for thy stretch'd-out life,
What grief hath set the jaundice on your cheeks?
I give to both your speeches, which were such
The fineness of which metal is not found
Do you with cheeks abash'd behold our works,
But the protractive trials of great Jove
As rous'd with rage, with rage doth sympathize,
Grow in the veins of actions highest rear'd;
That gave't surmised shape. Why then, you The specialty of rule hath been neglected:
And, look, how many Grecian tents do stand
What honey is expected? Degree being vizarded,
To his experienc'd tongue, yet let it please both,
Agam. Speak, Prince of Ithaca; and be 't of
That matter needless, of importless burden,
Ulyss. Troy, yet upon his basis, had been down, And the great Hector's sword had lack'da master, But for these instances.
Which is the ladder to all high designs,
In mere oppugnancy: the bounded waters
And this neglection of degree it is
Aam. The nature of the sickness found, Ulysses, What is the remedy? Ulyss. The great Achilles, whom opinion
Lies mocking our designs. With him Patroclus
And then, forsooth, the faint defects of age
Nest. And in the imitation of these twain,
As broad Achilles; keeps his tent like him; 199
A slave whose gall coins slanders like a mint,
Ulyss. They tax our policy, and call it cowardice;
Count wisdom as no member of the war ;
The sinew and the forehand of our host,
Of their observant toil the enemies' weight,-
Or those that with the fineness of their souls If there be one among the fair'st of Greece By reason guide his execution.
That holds his honour higher than his ease, Nest. Let this be granted, and Achilles' horse That seeks his praise more than he fears his Makes many Thetis' sons.
A tucket. peril, Agam. What trumpet ? look, Menelaus. That knows his valour, and knows not his fear, Men. From Troy.
That loves his mistress more than in confession,
With truant vows to her own lips he loves, Enter NEAS.
And dare avow her beauty and her worth Agam. What would you 'fore our tent? In other arms than hers,—to him this challenge. Æne. Is this great Agamemnon's tent, I pray Hector, in view of Trojans and of Greeks, you?
Shall make it good, or do his best to do it, Agam. Even this.
He hath a lady, wiser, fairer, truer,
And will to morrow with his trumpet call,
221 If any come, Hector shall honour him ; Ene. Fair leave and large security. How may If none, he'll say in Troy when he retires, A stranger to those most imperial looks
The Grecian dames are sunburnt, and not worth Know them from eyes of other mortals ? The splinter of a lance. Even so much. Agam.
How ! Agam. This shall be told our lovers, Lord & ne. Ay;
Æneas; I ask, that I might waken reverence,
If none of them have soul in such a kind, And bid the cheek be ready with a blush We left them all at home: but we are soldiers; Modest as morning when she coldly eyes And may that soldier a mere recreant prove, The youthful Phoebus.
That means not, hath not, or is not in love! Which is that god in office, guiding men ? If then one is, or hath, or means to be, Which is the high and mighty Agamemnon ? That one meets Hector; if none else, I am he. Agam. This Trojan scorns us; or the men of Nest. Tell him of Nestor, one that was a man Troy
When Hector's grandsire suck'd: he is old now; Are ceremonious courtiers.
But if there be not in our Grecian host E ne. Courtiers as free, as debonair, unarm’d, One noble man that hath one spark of fire As bending angels; that's their fame in peace: To answer for his love, tell him from me But when they would seem soldiers, they have I'll hide my silver beard in a gold beaver, galls,
And in my vantbrace put this wither'd brawn ; Good arms, strong joints, true swords; and, And, meeting him, will tell him that my lady Jove's accord,
Was fairer than his grandam, and as chaste Nothing so full of heart. But peace, Æneas ! As may be in the world : his youth in flood, Peace, Trojan! lay thy finger on thy lips. I'll pawn this truth with my three drops of blood. The worthiness of praise distains his worth, 240 Ēne. Now heavens forbid such scarcity of If that the prais'd himself bring the praise forth; youth! But what the repining enemy commends,
Ulyss. Amen. That breath fame blows; that praise, sole pure, Agam. Fair Lord Æneas, let me touch your transcends.
hand ; Agam. Sir, you of Troy, call you yourself To our pavilion shall I lead you first. Æneas?
Achilles shall have word of this intent; Æne. Ay, Greek, that is my name.
So shall each lord of Greece, from tent to tent: Agam. What's your affair, I pray you? Yourself shall feast with us before you go, Æne. Sir, pardon ; 'tis for Agamemnon's ears. And find the welcome of a noble foe. Agam. He hears nought privately that comes
Exeunt all but ULYSSES anıl NESTOR. from Troy.
Ulyss. Nestor! Æne. Nor Í from Troy come not to whisper Nest. What says Ulysses ? him:
Ulyss. I have a young conception in my brain; I bring a trumpet to awake his ear,
Be you my time to bring it to some shape. To set his sense on the attentive bent,
Nest. What is 't ? And then to speak.
Ulyss. This 'tis : Agam.
Speak frankly as the wind : Blunt wedges rive hard knots: the seeded pride It is not Agamemnon's sleeping hour;
That hath to this maturity blown up That thou shalt know, Trojan, he is awake, In rank Achilles must or now be cropp'd, He tells thee so himself,
Or, shedding, breed a nursery of like evil, Æne.
Trumpet, blow loud, To overbulk us all. Send thy brass voice through all these lazy tents; Nest.
Well, and how ? And every Greek of mettle, let him know,
Ulyss. This challenge that the gallant Hector What Troy means fairly shall be spoke aloud. sends,
Trumpet sounds. However it is spread in general name, We have, great Agamemnon, here in Troy Relates in purpose only to Achilles. A prince call'd Hector, Priam is his father, Nest. The purpose is perspicuous even as subWho in this dull and long-continued truce
stance, Is rusty grown: he bade me take a trumpet, Whose grossness little characters sum up: And to this purpome speak: Kings, princes, lords! And, in the publication, make no strain,
But that Achilles, were his brain as barren | To Agamemnon: go we to him straight. As banks of Libya, though, Apollo knows, Two curs shall tame each other: pride alone 'Tis dry enough, will, with great speed of judg. Must tarre the mastiff's on, as 'twere their bone. ment,
Exeunt. Ay, with celerity, find Hector's purpose Pointing on him. Ulyss. And wake him to the answer, think
ACT II. Nest. Yes, 'tis most meet : whom may you else
SCENE I. - A Part of the Grecian Camp. oppose,
Enter AJAX and THERSITES.
Ther. Agamemnon, how if he had boils ? full,
Ther. And those boils did run? say so: did In this wild action ; for the success,
not the general run then ? were not that a Although particular, shall give a scantling 340 botchy core ! Of good or bad unto the general ;
Ajax. Dog! And in such indexes, although small pricks Ther. Then would come some matter from him : To their subsequent volumes, there is seen I see none now. The baby figure of the giant mass
Ajax. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not Of things to come at large. It is suppos'd hear ? Feel then.
Strikes him. He that meets Hector issues from our choice; Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou And choice, being mutual act of all our souls, mongrel beef-witted lord ! Makes merit her election, and doth boil,
A jar. Speak then, thou vinewedst leaven, As 'twere from forth us all, a man distill'd speak : I will beat thee into handsomeness. Out of our virtues; who miscarrying,
Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and What heart receives from hence the conquering holiness : but I think thy horse will sooner con part,
an oration than thou learn a prayer without book, To steel a strong opinion to themselves ? Thou canst strike, canst thou ? a red murrain o' Which entertain'd, limbs are his instruments, thy jade's tricks! In no less working than are swords and bows Ajax. Toadstool, learn me the proclamation, Directive by the limbs.
Ther. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou Ulyss. Give pardon to my speech :
strikest me thus ? Therefore 'tis meet Achilles meet not Hector. Ajax. The proclamation! Let us like merchants show our foulest wares, Ther. Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think. And think perchance they 'll sell; if not,
Ajax. Do not, porpentine, do not : my fingers The lustre of the better yet to show
360 itch. Shall show the better. Do not consent
Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to That ever Hector and Achilles meet ;
foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would For both our honour and our shame in this make thee the loathsomest scabin Greece. When Are dogg'd with two strange followers.
thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as Nest. I see them not with my old eyes : what slow as anotber. are they?
Ajax. I say, the proclamation ! Ulyss. What glory our Achilles shares from Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hoor Hector,
on Achilles, and thou art as full of envy at his Were he not proud, we all should wear with greatness as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty, him :
ay, that thou barkest at him. But he already is too insolent;
Ajax. Mistress Thersites! And we were better parch in Afric sun
T'her. Thou should'st strike him.
Ther. Do, do.
Ther. Ay, do, do ; thou sodden-witted lord ! For that will physic the great Myrmidon thou hast no more brain than I have in mine Who broils in loud applause ; and make him fall elbows; an assinego may tutor thee, thou scurty, His crest that prouder than blue Iris bends. valiant ass! thou art here but to thrash Trojans; If the dull brainless Ajax come safe off, 380 and thou art bought and sold among those of We'll dress him up in voices : if he fail, any wit, like a barbarian slave. If thou use to Yet go we under our opinion still
beat me, I will begin at thy heel, and tell what That we have better men. But, hit or miss, thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou! Our project's life this shape of sense assumes : Ajax. You dog! Ajax employ'd plucks down Achilles' plumes. Ther. You scurvy lord! Nest. Ulysses,
Ajar. You cur!
Beating him, Now I begin to relish thy advice ;
Ther. Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, And I will give a taste of it forthwith
camel ; do, do.