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Achil. There's for you, Patroclus.

Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere Achil. Why, how now, Ajax! wherefore do I come any more to your tents: I will keep you thus? How now, Thersites! what's the where there is wit stirring and leave the faction matter, man ?

of fools.

Erit. 131 Ther. You see him there, do you ?

Patr. A good riddance. Achil. Ay; what's the matter?

Achil. Marry, this, sir, is proclaim'd through Ther. Nay, look upon him.

all our host: Achil. So I do: what's the matter?

That Hector, by the fifth hour of the sun, Ther. Nay, but regard him well.

Will with a trumpet 'twixt our tents and Troy Achil. "Well !'why, so I do.

To-morrow morning call some knight to arms Ther. But yet you look not well upon him ; That hath a stomach ; and such a one that dare for, whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax. Maintain-I know not what: 'tis trash. FareAchil. I know that, fool.

well. Ther. Ay, but that fool knows not himself. Ajax. Farewell. Who shall answer bim ! Ajar. Therefore I beat thee.

Achil. I know not: 'tis put to lottery ; otherTher, Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he wise utters! his evasions have ears thus long. I have He knew his man. bobbed his brain more than he has beat my Ajax. 0! meaning you. I will go learn more bones : I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and of it.

Exeunt. his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles, Ajax, who wears

SCENE II.-- Troy. A Room in Priam's Palace, his wit in his belly and his guts in his head, I 'll tell you what I say of him.

Enter PRIAM, HECTOR, TROILUS, Paris, and Achil. What?

HELENUS. Ther. I say, this Ajax

Pri. After so many hours, lives, speeches spent, AJAX offers to strike him. Thus once again says Nestor from the Greeks: Achil. Nay, good Ajax.

Deliver Helen, and all damage else, Ther. Has not so much wit

As honour, loss of time, travail, expense, Achil. Nay, I must hold you.

Wounds, friends, and what else dear that is conTher. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, sum'a for whom he comes to fight.

In hot digestion of this cormorant war, Achil. Peace, fool!

Shall be struck off.' Hector, what say you to't? Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but Hect. Though no man lesser fears the Greeks the fool will not: he there ; that he; look you than 1, there.

As far as toucheth my particular,
Ajax. O thou damned cur! I shall-

Yet, dread Priam,
Achil. Will you set your wit to a fool's ? There is no lady of more softer bowels,

Ther. No, I warrant you; for a fool's will More spongy to suck in the sense of fear, shame it.

More ready to cry out‘Who knows what follows?' Patr. Good words, Thersites.

Than Hector is. The wound of peace is surety, Achil. What's the quarrel ?

Surety secure ; but modest doubt is call a Ajax. I bade the vile owl go learn me the The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches tenour of the proclamation, and he rails upon me. To the bottom of the worst.

Let Helen go : Ther. I serve thee not.

Since the first sword was drawn about this Ajar. Well, go to, go to.

question, Ther. I serve here voluntary.

Every tithe soul, 'mongst many thousand dismes, Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas Hath been as dear as Helen ; I mean, of ours : not voluntary; no man is beaten voluntary : If we have lost so many tenths of ours, Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under To guard a thing not ours nor worth to us, an impress.

Had it our name, the value of one ten, Ther. E'en so; a great deal of your wit too What merit 's in that reason which denies lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector | The yielding of her up? shall have a great catch if he knock out either Tro.

Fie, fie ! my brother, of your brains : a' were as good crack a fusty Weigh you the worth and honour of a king put with no kernel.

119 So great as our dread father in a scale Achil. What! with me too, Thersites?

Of common ounces? will you with counters sum Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Nestor, whose The past proportion of his infinite ? wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on And buckle in a waist most fathomless their toes, yoke you like draught-oxen and make With spans and inches so diminutive you plough up the wars.

As fears and reasons ? fie, for godly shame! achil. What, what?

He. No marvel, though you bite so sharp at Ther. Yes, good sooth : to, Achilles ! to, reasons, Ajax! to!

120 You are so empty of them. Should not our father Ajax. I shall cut out your tongue.

Bear the great sway of his affairs with reasons, Ther. "Tis no matter; I shall speak as much Because your speech hath none that tells him so ? as thou afterwards.

?'ro. You are for dreams and slumbers, brother Patr. No more words, Thersites ; peace !

priest; Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' You fur your gloves with reason. Here are your brach bids me, shall I ?





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You know an enemy intends you harm;

Cas. Within. Cry, Trojans ! You know a sword employ'd is perilous,

Hect. It is Cassandra.
And reason flies the object of all barm :

Enter CASSANDRA, raving.
Who marvels then, when Helenus beholds
A Grecian and his sword, if he do set

Cas. Cry, Trojans, cry! lend me ten thousand
The very wings of reason to his heels,
And fly like chidden Mercury from Jove, And I will fill them with prophetic tears.
Or like a star disorb'd ? Nay, if we talk of Hect. Peace, sister, peace!

Cas. Virgins and boys, mid-age and wrivkled Let's shut our gates and sleep: manhood and

eld, honour

Soft infancy, that nothing canst but cry, Should have hare-hearts, would they but fat Add to my clamours ! let us pay betimes their thoughts

A moiety of that mass of moan to come. With this cramm'd reason : reason and respect Cry, Trojans, cry! practise your eyes with tears! Make livers pale and lustihood deject. 50 Troy must not be, nor goodly Ilion stand ; Hect. Brother, she is not worth what she doth Our firebrand brother, Paris, burns us all. cost

Cry, Trojans, cry! a Helen and a woe! The holding.

Cry, cry! Troy burns, or else let Helen go. Tro. What is aught but as 'tis valued ?

Erit. Hect. But value dwells not in particular will ; Hect. Now, youthful Troilus, do not these high It holds his estimate and dignity

strains As well wherein 'tis precious of itself

Of divination in our sister work As in the prizer. 'Tis mad idolatry

Some touches of remorse ? or is your blood To make the service greater than the god ; So madly hot that no discourse of reason, And the will dotes that is inclinable

Nor fear of bad success in a bad cause, To what infectiously itself affects,

Can qualify the same ? Without some image of the affected merit.


Why, brother Hector, Tro. I take to-day a wife, and my election We may not think the justness of each act Is led on in the conduct of my will ;

Such and no other than event doth form it, 199 My will enkindled by mine eyes and ears, Nor once deject the courage of our minds, Two traded pilots 'twist the dangerous shores Because Cassandra's mad : her brain-sick rapOf will and judgment. How may I avoid,

tures Although my will distaste what it elected, Cannot distaste the goodness of a quarrel The wife I chose ? there can be no evasion Which hath our several honours all engag'd To blench from this and to stand firm by honour. To make it gracious. For my private part, We turn not back the silks upon the merchant I am no more touch'd than all Priam's sons ; When we have soild them, nor the remainder And Jove forbid there should be done amongst us viands

70 Such things as might offend the weakest spleen We do not throw in unrespective sink

To fight for and maintain. Because we now are full. It was thought meet Par. Else might the world convince of levity Paris should do some vengeance on the Greeks: As well my undertakings as your counsels; Your breath of full consent bellied his sails ; But I attest the gods, your full consent The seas and winds, old wranglers, took a truce Gave wings to my propension and cut off And did him service: he touch'd the ports desir’d, All fears attending on so dire a project : And for an old aunt whom the Greeks held For what, alas! can these my single arms? captive,

What propugnation is in one man's valour, He brought a Grecian queen, whose youth and To stand the push and enmity of those freshness

This quarrel would excite! Yet, I protest, Wrinkles Apollo's, and makes stale the morning. Were I alone to pass the difficulties, Why keep we her? the Grecians keep our aunt : And had as ample power as I have will, Is she worth keeping? why, she is a pearl, Paris should ne'er retract what he hath done, Whose price hath launch'd above a thousand Nor faint in the pursuit. ships,


Paris, you speak And turn'd crown'd kings to merchants. Like one besoited on your sweet delights: If you 'll avouch 'twas wisdom Paris went, You have the honey still, but these the gall; As you must needs, for you all cried 'Go, go'; So to be valiant is no praise at all. If you 'll confess he brought home noble prize, Par. Sir, I propose not merely to myself As you must needs, for you all clapp'd your hands The pleasure such a beauty brings with it ; And cried 'Inestimable!' why do you now But I would have the soil of her fair rape The issue of your proper wisdoms rate,

Wip'd off in honourable keeping her. And do a deed that Fortune never did, 90 What treason were it to the ransack'd queen, Beggar the estimation which you priz'd

Disgrace to your great worths, and shame to me, Richer than sea and land ? 01 theft most base, Now to deliver her possession up That we have stol'n what we do fear to keep; On terms of base compulsion! Can it be But thieves unworthy of a thing so stol'n, That so degenerate a strain as this That in their country did them that disgrace Should once set footing in your generous bosoms! We fear to warrant in our native place.

There's not the meanest spirit on our party Cas. Within. Cry, Trojans, cry!

Without a heart to dare or sword to draw Pri.

What noise! what shriek ? When Helen is defended, nor pone so poble Tro. 'Tis our mad sister, I do know her voice. / Whose life were ill bestow'd or death anfam'd








Where Helen is the subject: then, I say, 160 | be not taken till these two undermine it, the Well may we fight for her whom, we know well, walls will stand till they fall of themselves. O! The world's large spaces cannot parallel. thou great thunder-darter of Olympus ; forget Hect. Paris and Troilus, you have both said that thou art Jove the king of gods, and, Merwell;

cury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy caduceus, And on the cause and question now in hand if ye take not that little, little, less than little Have gloz'd, but superficially; not much wit from them that they have ; which shortUnlike young men, whom Aristotle thought armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant Unfit to hear moral philosophy.

scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly The reasons you allege do more conduce from a spider, without drawing their massy irons To the hot passion of distemper'd blood and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance Than to make up a free determination

on the whole camp! or rather, the Neapolitan 'Twixt right and wrong; for pleasure and revenge bone-achel for that, methinks, is the curse deHave ears more deaf than adders to the voice pendant on those that war for a placket. I have Of any true decision. Nature craves

said my prayers, and, devil Envy, say Amen. All dues be render'd to their owners : now, What ho! my Lord Achilles ! What nearer debt in all humanity Than wife is to the husband? If this law

Enter PATROCLUS. Of nature be corrupted through affection,

Patr. Who's there? Thersites! Good TherAnd that great minds, of partial indulgence sites, come in and rail. To their benumbed wills, resist the same,

Ther. If I could have remembered a gilt counThere is a law in each well-order'd nation 180 terfeit, thou would'st not have slipped out of To curb those raging appetites that are my contemplation : but it is no matter ; thyself Most disobedient and refractory.

upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, If Helen then be wife to Sparta's king,

folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue ! As it is known she is, these moral laws

heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline Of nature and of nation speak aloud

come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy To have her back return'd: thus to persist direction till thy death! then if she that lays In doing wrong extenuates not wrong,

thee out says thou art a fair corpse, I'll be But makes it much more heavy. Hector's opinion sworn and sworn upon't she never shrouded Is this, in way of truth; yet, ne'ertheless, any but lazars. Amen. Where's Achilles ? My spritely brethren, I propend to you

Patr. What! art thou devout? wast thou in In resolution to keep Helen still ;

prayer? For 'tis a cause that hath no mean dependance Ther. Ay; the heavens hear me! Upon our joint and several dignities.

Enter ACHILLES. Tro. Why, there you touch'd the life of our design:

Achil. Who's there? Were it not glory that we more affected

Patr. Thersites, my lord. Than the performance of our heaving spleens, Achil. Where, where! Art thon come? Why, I would not wish a drop of Trojan blood my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not Spent more in her defence. But, worthy Hector, served thyself in to my table so many meals ? She is a theme of honour and renown,

Come, what's Agamemnon ? A spur to valiant and magnanimous deeds, Ther. Thy commander, Achilles, Then tell Whose present courage may beat down our foes, me, Patroclus, what 's Achilles ? And fame in time to come canonize us;

Patr. Thy lord, Thersites. Then tell me, I For, I presume, brave Hector would not lose pray thee, what is thyself? So rich advantage of a promis'd glory

Ther. Thy knower, Patroclus. Then tell me, As smiles upon the forehead of this action Patroclus, what art thou ? For the wide world's revenue.

Patr. Thou may'st tell that knowest. Hect.

I am yours,

Achil. O! tell, tell. You valiant offspring of great Priamus.

Ther. I'll decline the whole question. AgaI have a roisting challenge sent amongst memnon commands Achilles ; Achilles is my The dull and factious nobles of the Greeks lord ; I am Patroclus' knower; and Patroclus is Will strike amazement to their drowsy spirits.

a fool. I was advertis'd, their great general slept

Patr. You rascal! Whilst emulation in the army crept :

Ther, Peace, fool! I have not done. This, I presume, will wake him. Eceunt. Achil. He is a privileged man. Proceed,

Thersites. SCENE III.--The Grecian Camp. Before Ther. Agamemnon is a fool ; Achilles is a ACHILLES' Tent.

fool; Thersites is a fool; and, as aforesaid,

Patroclus is a fool.

Achil. Derive this, come. Ther. How now, Thersites! what ! lost in the Ther, Agamemnon is a fool to offer to comlabyrinth of thy fury. Shall the elephant Ajax mand Achilles ; Achilles is a fool to be comcarry it thus ? he beats me, and I rail at him: 0 manded of Agamemnon ; Thersites is a fool to worthy satisfaction! would it were otherwise ; serve such a fool ; and Patroclus is a fool that I could beat him, whilst he railed at me. positive. 'Sfoot, I 'll learn to.conjure and raise devils, but Patr. Why am I a fool ? I'll see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Ther. Make that demand to the Creator. It Then there's Achilles, a rare enginer. If Troy | suffices me thou art. Look you, who comes here?





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Achil. Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody. Disguise the holy strength of their command, Come in with me, Thersites.

Exit. And underwrite in an observing kind Ther. Here is such patchery, such juggling, His humorous predominance; yea, watch and such knavery ! all the argument is a cuckold His pettish lunes, his ebbs, his flows, as if and a whore; a good quarrel to draw emulous The passage and whole carriage of this action factions and bleed to death upon. Now, the Rode on his tide. Go tell him this, and add, dry serpigo on the subject! and war and lechery That if he overhold his price so much, confound all !

Erit. 82 We'll none of him; but let him, like an engine

Not portable, lie under this report : Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR,

* Bring action hither, this cannot go to war'; DIOMEDES, and AJAX.

A stirring dwarf we do allowance give Agam. Where is Achilles ?

Before a sleeping giant : tell him so. Patr. Within his tent; but ill dispos’d, my lord. Pair. I shall; and bring his answer presently. Agam. Let it be known to him that we are here.

Erit. He shent our messengers ; and we lay by

Agam. In second voice we'll not be satisfied ; Our appertainments, visiting of him :

We come to speak with him. Ulysses, enter you. Let him be told so ; lest perchance he think

Ecit ULYSSES. We dare not move the question of our place, Ajax. What is he more than another? Or know not what we are.

Agam. No more than what he thinks he is, Patr.

I shall say so to him. Erit. 90 Ajax. Is he so much ? Do you not think he Ulyss. We saw him at the opening of his tent: thinks himself a better man than I am! He is not sick.

Agam. No question. Ajax. Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart : you Ajax. Will you subscribe his thought, and say may call it melancholy if you will favour the he is ? man ; but, by my head, 'tis pride: but why, why? Ayam. No, noble Ajax ; you are as strong, let him show us a cause. A word, my lord. as valiant, as wise, no less noble, much inore

Takes AGAMEMNON aside. gentle, and altogether more tractable. Nest. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? Ajax. Why should a man be proud ? How

Ulyss. Achilles hath inveigled his fool from doth pride grow? I know not what pride is. him.

Agam. Your mind is the clearer, Ajax, and Nest. Who, Thersites?

100 your virtues the fairer. He that is proud eats Ulyss. He.

up himself: pride is bis own glass, his own Nest. Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have trumpet, bis own chronicle ; and whatever lost his argument.

praises itself but in the deed, devours the deed Ulyss. No, you see, he is his argument that in the praise. has his argument, Achilles.

Ajax. I do hate a proud man, as I hate the Nest. All the better ; their fraction is more engendering of toads. our wish than their faction : but it was a strong Nest. Aside. Yet he loves himself: is 't not composure a fool could disunite.

strange? Ulyss. The amity that wisdom knits not folly

Re-enter ULYSSES. may easily untie. Here comes Patroclus. Nest. No Achilles with him ?

Ulyss. Achilles will not to the field to-morrow.

Agam. What 's bis excuse ?

He doth rely on none, Ulyss. The elephant hath joints, but none for But carries on the stream of his dispose courtesy : his legs are leg; for necessity, not for Without observance or respect of any, flexure.

In will peculiar and in self-admission. Patr. Achilles bids me say, he is much sorry, Agam. Why will he not upon our fair request If any thing more than your sport and pleasure Untent his person and share the air with us! Did move your greatness and this noble state Ulyss. Things small as nothing, for request's To call upon him ; he hopes it is no other

sake only, But for your health and your digestion sake, He makes important: possess'd he is with An after-dinner's breath.

greatness, Agam.

Hear you, Patroclus ; 120 And speaks not to himself but with a pride We are too well acquainted with these answers : That quarrels at self-breath : imagin'd worth But his evasion, wing'd thus swift with scorn, Holds in his blood such swoln and hot discourse, Cannot outfly our apprehensions.

That 'twixt his mental and his active parts Much attribute he hath, and much the reason Kingdom'd Achilles in commotion rages Why we ascribe it to him ; yet all his virtues, And batters 'gainst itself: what should I say! Not virtuously on his own part beheld,

He is so plaguy proud that the death-tokens of it Do in our eyes begin to lose their gloss,

Cry No recovery.' Yea, like fair fruit in an unwholesome dish, Agam.

Let Ajax go to him. Are like to rot untasted. Go and tell him, Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent: We come to speak with himn; and you shall not 'Tis said he holds you well, and will be led sin

At your request a little from himself. If you do say we think him over-proud

Ulyss. O Agamemnon ! let it not be so. And under-honest, in self-assumption greater We'll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes Than in the note of judgment; and worthier when they go from Achilles: shalli he proud lord than himself

That bastes his arrogance with his own seam, Here tend the savage strangeness he puts on, And never suffers matter of the world








Enter his thoughts, save such as do revolve To sinewy Ajax. I will not praise thy wisdom,
And ruminate himself, shall he be worshipp'd Which, like a bourn, a pale, a shore, confines
Of that we hold an idol more than he ?

Thy spacious and dilated parts : here's Nestor,
No, this thrice-worthy and right valiant lord 200 Instructed by the antiquary times,
Must not so stale his palm, nobly acquir'd; He must, he is, he cannot but be wise ;
Nor, by my will, assubjugate his merit,

But pardon, father Nestor, were your days As amply titled as Achilles is,

As green as Ajax' and your brain so temper'd, By going to Achilles :

You should not have the eminence of him, That were to enlard his fat already pride, But be as Ajax. And add more coals to Cancer when he burns


Shall I call you father? With entertaining great Hyperion.

Nest. Ay, my good son. This lord go to him! Jupiter forbid,


Be rul’d by him, Lord Ajax. And say in thunder 'Achilles, go to him.'

Ulyss. There is no tarrying here; the hart Nest. Aside. O! this is well ; he rubs the vein Achilles of him.

210 | Keeps thicket. Please it our great general Dio. Aside. And how his silence drinks up To call together all his state of war; this applause !

Fresh kings are come to Troy : to-morrow Ajax. If I go to him, with my armed fist We must with all our main of power stand I'll pash him o'er the face.

fast : Agam. O, no! you shall not go.

And here's a lord,- ,-come knights from east to Ajax. An a' be proud with me, I 'll pheeze his west, pride.

And cull their flower, Ajax shall cope the best. Let me go to him.

Agam. Go we to council. Let Achilles sleep: Ulyss. Not for the worth that hangs upon our Light boats sail swift, though greater hulks draw quarrel.


Ajax. A paltry, insolent fellow !
Nest. Aside. How he describes himself !
Ajax. Can he not be sociable ?

Ulyss. A side. The raven chides blackness.
Ajac. I'll let his humours blood.

SCENE I.Troy. PRIAM's Palace.
Agam. A side. He will be the physician that
should be the patient.

Enter PANDARUS and a Servant. Ajax. An all men were o' my mind,

Pan. Friend ! you ! pray you, a word : do not Ulyss. Aside. Wit would be out of fashion. you follow the young Lord Paris ?

Ajax. A' should not bear it so, a' should eat Serv. Ay, sir, when he goes before me swords first : shall pride carry it?

Pan. You depend upon him ? I mean. Nest. Aside. An 'twould, you'd carry half. Serv. Sir, I do depend upon the Lord. Ulyss. Aside. A' would have ten shares.

Pan. You depend upon a noble gentleman; Ajat. I will knead him ; I'll make him supple. I must needs praise him.

Nest. Aside. He's not yet through warm : Serv. The Lord be praised ! force him with praises : pour in, pour in; his Pan. You know me, do you not ? ambition is dry.

Serv. Faith, sir, superficially. Ulyss. To AGAMEMNON. My lord, you feed Pan. Friend, know me better. I am the Lord too much on this dislike.

Pandarus. Nest. Our noble general, do not do so.

Serv. I hope I shall know your honour better. Dio. You must prepare to fight without Achilles. Pan. I do desire it. Ulyss. Why, 'tis this naming of him does him Serv. You are in the state of grace. harm.

Pan. Grace ! not so, friend; honour and lordHere is a man-but 'tis before his face ; ship are my titles.

Music within. I will be silent.

What music is this? Nest.

Wherefore should you so ? Serv. I do but partly know, sir : it is music in He is not emulous, as Achilles is.

parts. Ulyss. Know the whole world, he is as valiant. Pan, Know you the musicians ? Ajax. A whoreson dog, that shall palter thus Serv. Wholly, sir. with us!

Pan. Who play they to? Would he were a Trojan !

Serv. To the hearers, sir. Nest. What a vice were it in Ajax now,

Pan. At whose pleasure, friend ? Uly88. If he were proud,

Serv. At mine, sir, and theirs that love music. Dio.

Or covetous of praise,- Pan, Command, I mean, friend. Ulyss. Ay, or surly borne,

Serv. Who shall I command, sir ? Dio,

Or strange, or self-affected ! Pan. Friend, we understand not one another Ulyss. Thank the heavens, lord, thou art of I am too courtly, and thou art too cunning. At sweet composure ;

whose request do these men play? Praise him that got thee. shethat gave thee suck: Serv. That's to’t, indeed, sir. Marry, sir, at Fam'd be thy tutor, and thy parts of nature 250 the request of Paris my lord, who's there in Thrice-fam'd, beyond all erudition :

person; with him the mortal Venus, the heartBut he that disciplin'd thine arms to fight, blood of beauty, love's invisible soul. Let Mars divide eternity in twain,

Pan. Who, my cousin Cressida ? And give him half: and, for thy vigour,

Serv. No, sir, Helen : could you not find out Bull-bearing Milo his addition yield

that by her attributes ?






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