member the accommodation plank, sir," bawled the boy, half-imploringly, halfindignantly, as he perceived Mr. Dodds' body in motion on the opposite side. Dodds was far from being an ungrateful man, but he sought not for copper. At length, panting, wearied, worried, and worn out, he found himself, as the clock struck six, at Middle Row, Holborn, a full quarter of a mile from his habitation.

A skilful portraiture of human suffering, up to a certain point, is far from unpleasing, and rather beneficial, arousing, as it does, the hidden sympathies of our nature which might otherwise remain dormant; but when it passes this point, when it becomes of agonizing intenseness, minute description is then shocking and repulsive. We will, therefore, quit Mr. Dodds for the present, and shift the scene to his residence.

The accumulated wisdom of ages has recorded that there is nothing so deceitful as appearances. The chilliness and serenity of the outside of Mount Etna give not the slightest hint of the volcanic fires roaring and raging within; and as little did the demure, quiet appearance of 42, Brooke Street, High Holborn, betoken the agitation which prevailed therein. The causes of this agitation were threefold. Mr. Dodds, as has been before stated, ordered dinner precisely at five, and as his wife, clock, and cook, were tolerably well regulated, there was a reasonable prospect of his saying grace about that time. But wives are not infallible-clocks are not chronometerscooks are not impeccable. Mrs. D. had been flatteringly invited to give her opinion upon some new purchases of Flanders' lace, made by her neighbour Mrs. Blenkinsopp. Where lives the woman that can tear herself from lace? The consequence was, that Mrs. Dodds was half an hour past her time in issuing her orders to the cook; the cook was discussing the benefits derivable from triennial parliaments with the aforesaid Mrs. Blenkinsopp's housemaid, who was a septennialist, and a quarter of an hour more was lost without settling the question after all. To crown the whole, the clock which had heretofore conducted itself in a commendable manner, thought proper to come to a full stop, and ten minutes elapsed before the cook was aware of the resolution it had taken. As soon as Mrs. Dodds became fully conscious of this unfortunate concurrence of circumstances, the house, as the saying is, "was hardly large enough to hold her," although it contained many apart

ments of most respectable proportions.What a short-sighted creature is man! He knows not what is best for him. Had Mr. Dodds only been aware of these seeming misfortunes, how would he have felicitated himself on this eventful evening.

Seven minutes had now elapsed since the authoritative voice of St. Giles's had bawled out to the surrounding districts, "six o'clock," and Mrs. Dodds began to be seriously alarmed at the most unaccountable absence of Mr. Dodds; so much so, indeed, that faint visions of the unbecomingness of widows' caps kept involuntarily flitting across her imagination. Being a notable, prudent personage, she placed her smelling-bottle on the table, laid her white muslin cambric handkerchief beside it, and arranged the easy armchair at a convenient distance, so that she might not be found altogether unprepared, in case it was announced to her that she was a desolate woman. Just at this juncture, however, the street-door opened, and a heated, flurried, perspiring piece of animated nature, bearing a striking resemblance to Mr. Dodds, rushed in, and made the best of its way to the drawing-room, but nothing (at least to the purpose) met its eager glance.

"They can never have eaten them," exclaimed Dodds (for it was he)—" Oh no, no, no!-they could not, would not, durst not!"-and, without tarrying for the slow medium of servants, in order to effect a communication with Mrs. Dodds, away he sallied, in order to know the worst at once, in quest of his stray lamb, or, to speak with greater agricultural precision, his ewe, for she was long past the flowery days of lambhood.

"Titus Dodds!" cried Mrs. Dodds, (she called him "Titus" in her loving or juvenile moods; "Dodds," when she wished to be familiar; "Mr. Dodds," when she was ill-tempered or imperious, and "Titus Dodds," when she aimed at being singularly impressive), "Titus Dodds, where have you been?"

"It matters not," replied Titus, in a tremulous voice, "it matters not! I suppose all is over, and there is nothing but cold meat in the house-well, well!"

Far be it from me to violate the sanctity of domestic privacy, by detailing the conversation which ensued. It is sufficient to say that a mutual and satisfactory explanation took place-the ducks were finally served up, done to a turn, and Titus Dodds was indeed a happy gentle

man.

The partner of his past life contemplated the subdued rapture depicted

in the countenance of the man of her choice, as if she were very well satisfied with the turn affairs had taken; while their pretty daughter Bessy, a lively girl, with an amazing relish for a piece of snug humour, paused in the midst of a cut off the breast, took in the pleasantry of the scene at a glance, and then went on with her occupation. It was, as I said before, a scene that a philanthropist would, indeed, have gloried in contemplating. "Oh happiness! our being's end and aim!" How strangely and incongruously dost thou mix thyself up with the fabric of things! Wealth and power, and glory, ofttimes give thee not, and yet thou may'st be extracted (as has been shewn)

from even the commonest commodities. Independent creature!—the high and mighty magnates of the earth command thee to their footstools, but thou turnest up thy nose, and strayest away unto some peasant's homely hearth; and, when it so pleaseth thee, thou leavest the emperor on his throne, the peer in his palace, the beauty in the ball room, and takest up thy abode in uninviting habitations, amid the nameless children of obscurity. Democratic divinity! I gratefully worship thee, for I am even now sensible of thy presence; and it may be that thou hast, this very night, deserted the luscious soups and fragrant wines of some luxurious alderman, to hover over the simple mutton-chop and sparkling bottled ale, that await my acceptance, as soon as I have attached my brief and insignificant signature to this humble tale, destitute of a plot and unprotected by a moral.

W. Cox.

THE ORDEAL OF LOVE.

ADOLPHE and Celeste were lovers the course of true love never did run smooth, and it was interrupted in theirs by cruel parents, who had different views for their children. Adolphe, in despair, takes poison, but the invention of stomachpumps prevented his desperate purpose, and he recovers. Celeste had the deadly potion in her hand, and was in the act of raising it to her lips when her mother discovers her. The story thus proceeds: Whatever the exaggerations of our lovers, they loved really, fervently, disinterestedly, and with all their hearts. Not one in ten thousand loves is so strong, or promises to be so lasting.

Adolphe did not die the antidotes were given in time-he recovered. The illness of Celeste was more dangerous; she suffered, poor child, a delirious fever,

and was several weeks before her life and reason were restored.

No parents could stand all this; ordinary caprices it is very well to resist, but when young people take to poison and delirious fevers-il faut céder. Besides, such events derange one's establishment, One is and interrupt one's comforts. always glad to come to terms, when one begins to be annoyed one's self. The old people then made it up, and the young people married. As the bridegroom and Celeste were convinced that the sole object of life was each other's company, they hastened ot once to the sweet solitudes of the country. They had a charming villa and beautiful gardens; they were both accomplished, clever, amiable, young, and in love. How was it possible they should be susceptible to ennui? They could never bear to lose sight of each other.

"Ah, Adolphe-traitor-where hast thou been?"

Merely shooting in the woods, my angel."

"What, and without me? Fy! promise this shall not happen again.

Ah, dearest! too gladly I promise.” Another time

"What, Celeste! three hours have I been seeking for you! Where have you hid yourself?"

I

"Don't look so angry, my Adolphe, was only directing the gardener to build a little arbour for you to read in. I meant it as a surprise.'

"My own Celeste! but three hours→→ it is an eternity without you! Promise not to leave me again, without telling me where to find you."

"My own dearest, dearest Adolphe! how I love you-may my company ever be as dear to you."

This mode of life is very charming with many for a few days. Adolphe and Celeste loved each other so entirely, that it lasted several months. What at first was passion had grown a habit, and each blamed the other for want of affection, if he or she ever indulged in the novelty of different pursuits.

As they had nothing to do but to look at those faces they had thought so handsome, so it was now and then difficult not to yawn; and of late there had been little speeches like the following:

66

Adolphe, my love, you never talk to me-put down that odious book you are always reading."

Celeste, my angel, you don't hear me. I am telling you about my travels, and you gape in my face."

66

My dear Adolphe, I am so exceedingly sleepy."

One morning, as Adolphe woke and turned in his bed, his eyes rested on his wife, who was still asleep—“ Bless me," thought he, "I never saw this before let me look again-yes, certainly, she has a wart on her chin!"

Adolphe rose and dressed himselfAdolphe was grave and meditative. They met at breakfast-the bride and bridegroom. Celeste was in high spirits; Adolphe was sombre and dejected.

"Let us ride to-day," said Celeste. My dear, I have a headache." "Poor child! well, then, let us read the new poem."

"My dear, you talk so loud."

"I!" and Celeste gazing reproachfully on Adolphe, perceived for the first time something in his eyes that surprised her. She looked again" Good heavens!" said she to herself, "Adolphe certainly squints."

It is impossible to say what an effect this fatal discovery had upon Adolphe. He thought of it incessantly. He had nothing else to complain of-but then warts on the chin are certainly not be coming. Celeste's beauty had improved greatly since her marriage. Everybody else saw the improvement. Adolphe saw nothing but the wart on her chin. Her complexion was more brilliant, her form more perfect, her walk more majestic; but what is all this, when one has a wart on the chin! The wart seemed to grow bigger and bigger every day-to Adolphe's eye it threatened speedily to absorb the whole of the face! Nay, he expected in due time to see his beautiful Celeste all wart! He smothered his pain as well as he could, because he was naturally well-bred and delicate; and no woman likes to be told of the few little blemishes she is blind to herself. He smothered his pain, but he began to think it would be just as well to have separate apart

ments.

Meanwhile, strange to say, Adolphe's squint grew daily more decided and pronounced. "He certainly did not squint before we married," thought Celeste; "it is very unpleasant-it makes one so fidgety to be stared at by a person who sees two ways-and Adolphe has unfortunately a habit of staring. I think I might venture to hint, delicately and kindly-the habit can't yet be incurable." As wives are always the first in the emulation of conjugal fault-finding, Celeste resolved to hazard the hint-on the first favourable opportunity.

"Well, my Celeste, I have brought my dog to see you," said Adolphe, one morning.

"Ah! down, down! Pray turn him out; see the mark of his paws. I can't bear dogs, Adolphe."

"Poor thing!" said Adolphe, caressing his insulted favourite.

"Was that to me, or to the dog?" asked Celeste.

"Oh! to him, to be sure."

"I beg your pardon, my dear, but I thought you looked at me. Indeed, Adolphe, if the truth may be said, you have lately contracted a bad habit-you are getting quite a cast in your eye."

"Madam!" said Adolphe, prodigiously offended, and hurrying to the glass.

"Don't be angry, my love; I would not have mentioned it if it did not get worse every day; it is yet to be cured, I am sure; just put a wafer on the top of your nose, and you will soon see straight"

"A wafer on the top of my nose! Much better put one at the tip of your chin, Celeste."

"My chin!" cried Celeste, running in her turn to the glass. "What do you mean, sir?”

"A wart on my chin, monster!" "A cast in my eye, fool!"

"Yes! How could I ever love a man who squinted!"

"Or I a woman with a wart on her chin!"

"Sir, I shall not condescend to notice your insults. No wonder-you can't see! I pity your infirmity."

"Madam, I despise your insinuations; but since you deny the evidence of your own glass, suffer me to send for a physician, and if he can cure your deformity, so much the better for you."

"Yes, send for a physician: he will say whether you squint or not. Poor Adolphe! I am not angry; no, I pity so melancholy a defect."

Adolphe, in

Celeste burst into tears. a rage, seized his hat, mounted his horse, and went himself for the doctor.

The doctor was a philosopher as well as a physician. He took his pony and ambled back with Adolphe. By the way, he extracted from Adolphe his whole history, for men in a passion are easily made garrulous. "The perfidious woman," said Adolphe; "would you be

lieve it?-we braved everything for each other-never were two persons so much in love-nay, we attempted suicide rather than endure a longer separation. I renounced the most brilliant marriages for her sake-too happy that she was mine without a dowry-and now she declares I squint. And, oh, she has such a wart on her chin."

The doctor could not very well see whether Adolphe squinted, for he had his hat over his eyes; besides, he prudently thought it best to attend to one malady at a time.

"As to the wart, sir," said he, "it is not difficult to cure."

The pair were struck by a secret and simultaneous conviction; when an express arrived breathless to summon Adolphe to his father, who was taken suddenly ill. At the end of three months Adolphe returned. Celeste's wart had entirely vanished, and Celeste found her husband's eyes as beautiful as ever.

Taught by experience, they learned then, that warts rapidly grow upon chins, and squints readily settle upon eyes, that are too constantly seen. And that it is easy for two persons to die joyfully together when lovers, but prodigiously difficult without economizing the presence, to live comfortably together when married.--Bulwer's Student.

"After absence-we have not been a day separated since we married."

"O-ho," thought the doctor, sinking into a reverie-I have said he was a philosopher-but it did not require much philosophy to know that persons who would have died for each other a few

months ago, were not alienated only by

a wart or a cast in the eye. They arrived at Adolphe's villa—they entered the saloon. Celeste no longer wept ; she had put on her most becoming cap, and had the air of an insulted and uncomplaining wife!

"Confess to the wart, Celeste, and I'll forgive all," said Adolphe.

66

Nay," cried Celeste, sobbing, "look rather at my poor husband's squint. His eyes were so fine before we married." The doctor put on his spectacles; he regarded first one and then the other.

Sir," said he, deliberately, "this lady has certainly a pimple on the left of her chin considerably smaller than a pin's head. And, madam, the pupil of your husband's right eye is, like that of nine persons in ten, the hundredth part of an inch nearer his nose than the pupil of his left.

This is the case, as it appears to me, seeing you both for the first time, But I do not wonder that you, sir, think the pimple so enormous; and you, madam, the eye so distorted, since you see each other every day!"

USE OF SNUFFERS.

house, furnished in the primitive style of the country; but on the table, in with a long tallow candle, were company

placed a handsome pair of plated snuffers and their stand, which he had received as a present from Rio de Janeiro. "What conveniences you invent in Europe!" said the Brazilian to his guest; "before I received this pretty present, I throw it about the floor, or, perchance, used, after taking off the candle-snuff, to on the bench where I was sitting, or over my clothes- but now, mark the difference!" So saying, he pinched off the long snuff between his thumb and finger, put it carefully into the snuffers, and closed them up with a look of triumph at his highly-amused spectator!

MENDACITY OF THE MOORS.

LYING seems a matter quite understood and agreed upon amongst the inhabitants of Barbary: when an European ambassador once remonstrated with the Emperor of Morocco for violating a treaty which he had lately made, "Dost thou think I am a Christian," replied the Emperor, "that I should be a slave to my word ?"

A GOOD LEAPER.

AN Irish gentleman, well known in the sporting circles for his wit, was accosted by a friend, with-" Upon my word,

, you are riding a good horse!""And why should I not ride a good horse? "Well," rejoined his friend, "but will he jump timber?”—“ Timber!" replied the other; faith he'll just jump over your head, man, in a jiffey."

an

LAST Spring at the Countess de Lipona's, as soon as the piano had ceased accom panying the airs of Bellini, towards midnight the most intimate friends of the Griffoni palace always formed themselves into a circle to chat and relate amusing stories until morning. There was inexpressible charm in these midnight watches: the saloon was still in all the disorder of the ball and concert; but the dancers and musicians had disappeared; the music was strewed over the instrument, the whist tables displayed their extinguished lamps, and their four vacant seats; after so many joyous noises, came familiar conversation: tea was brought up, with delicious cakes stamped with the arms of the Queen of Naples by Madame Dubarry's cook. No one thought of sleep at these delightful morning soirées; the Countess de Lipona always used to say "Three hours sleep are sufficient for me; it is a good habit that I owe to my

brother the Emperor.'

"9 And her friends were proud of complying with a habit which came direct from Napoleon. It often happened on leaving the palace that we saw the rays of dawn on the columns of the Inquisition and the dome of San Spirito.

The Countess de Lipona sometimes related some charming stories with that grace which never left her: the illustrious heroine had assisted at so many dramas, at so many fètes, at so many misfortunes! she was therefore never unprovided when she deigned to furnish her quota to this fund of anecdotes. One night that the circle of friends had pressed closely round her arm chair, this noble woman announced something they had not yet heard, in a voice choked with emotion; her calm and lovely face was visibly contracted under the impression of some sad remembrance. Our silence respectfully demanded an explanation, and she commenced :

"At the period when Italy belonged to France, a sedition burst forth in one of our regiments garrisoned at Leghorn. It was a serious business; more than a