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“Mister Martin Tupper, Poet Close, I beg of
you inform us"; But my question seemed to throw them both
into a rage enormous. Mister Close expressed a wish that he could
only get anigh to me. And Mister Martin Tupper sent the following
reply to me: "A fool is bent upon a twig, but wise men
dread a bandit," Which I know was very clever; but I didn't
understand it. Seven weary years I wandered-Patagonia,
China, Norway, Till at last I sank exhausted at a pastry-cook
his doorway. There were fuchsias and geraniums, and daffo
dils and myrtle, So I entered, and I ordered half a basin of
He was plump and he was chubby, he was
smooth and he was rosy, And his little wife was pretty, and particularly
cozy. And he chirped and sang, and skipped about,
and laughed with laughter heartyHe was wonderfully active for so very stout a
party. And I said, “O gentle pieman, why so very,
very merry? Is it purity of conscience, or your one-and
seven sherry?” But he answered, “ I'm so happy—no profes
sion could be dearer If I am not humming • Tra! la! la !' I'm sing
ing “Tirer, lirer!' “First I go and make the patties, and the pud
dings and the jellies, Then I make a sugar bird-cage, which upon a
table swell is;
“Then I polish all the silver, which a supper
table lacquers; Then I write the pretty mottoes which you
find inside the crackers-" “Found at last!” I madly shouted. “Gentle
pieman, you astound me!” Then I waved the turtle-soup enthusiastically
round me! And I shouted and I danced until he'd quite a
crowd around himAnd I rushed away, exclaiming, “ I have found
him ! I have found him!” And I heard the gentle pieman in the road be
hind me trilling, “Tira! lira!' stop him, stop him! •Tra! la!
la!' the soup's a shilling!” But until I reached Elvira's home, I never,
never waited, And Elvira to her Ferdinand's irrevocably mated!
WILLIAM S. GILBERT.
UP THE AISLE-NELL LATINE'S
Take my cloak—and now fix my veil, Jenny;
How silly to cover one's face!
But then there's one comfort-it's lace.
O pa! have you got my bouquet ?I'll freeze standing here in the lobby
Why doesn't the organist play ?They're started at last—what a bustle !
Stop, pa !—they're not far enough-wait! One minute more—now !do keep step, pa!
There, drop my trail, Jane !—is it straight? I hope I look timid, and shrinking;
The church must be perfectly fullGood gracious! now don't walk so fast, pa !
He don't seem to think that trains pull. The chancel at last-mind the step, pa !
I don't feel embarrassed at all.
But, my! what's the minister saying?
Oh, I know; that part 'bout Saint Paul. I hope my position is graceful;
How awkwardly Nelly Dane stood ! “Not lawfully be joined together
Now speak”—as if any one would ! Oh, dear! now it's my turn to answer
I do wish that pa would stand still. "Serve him, love, honor, and keep him "
How sweetly he says it !- I will. Where's pa ?-there, I knew he'd forget it,
When the time came to give me away“I, Helena, take thee-love-cherish
And”-well, I can't help it—"obey." Here, Maud, take my bouquet-don't drop
it! I hope Charley's not lost the ring ; Just like him !-no!-goodness, how heavy!
It's really an elegant thing. It's a shame to kneel down in white satin And the flounce, real old lace—but I