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rise out of my chair for King George himsel, let abee a Whig Minister." The same lady had a graduated scale for her courtesies, and which was adapted to different individuals in the town, according as she placed them in the scale of her consideration. As she liked a party at quadrille, she sent out her servant every morning to invite the ladies required to make up the game in these terms:"Nelly, you'll gang to Lady Carnegy's, and mak my compliments, and ask the honour of her Ladyship's company and that of the Miss Carnegies to tea this evening; and if they canna come, gang to the Miss Mudies, and ask the pleasure of their company; and if they canna come, you may gang to Miss Hunter, and ask the favour of her company; and if she canna come, gang to Lucy Spark and bid

her come.

An old Montrose lady, walking in the street one frosty day, fairly fell down. A young officer, with much politeness, came forward and picked her up, earnestly saying, "I hope, ma'am, you are no worse;" to which she replied, looking at him very steadily, "Indeed, sir, I'm just as little the better."

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Two Glasgow ladies, sisters, attended a sale by auction at a country house. A dozen of silver spoons were handed round to the company; when returned to the auctioneer he only found eleven. ordered the door to be shut, that every one should be searched. One of the sisters, in consternation, whispered to the other, "Esther, ye hae nae gotten the spune?" to which the other replied, "Na; but I hae gotten Mrs. Siddons in my pocket." She had been attracted by a miniature of the great actress, and had pocketed it. The cautious reply to the sister was, "Then just drop her, Esther."

Another Montrose lady hated paying taxes, and always pretended to misunderstand their nature. One day, receiving a notice of such payment signed by the provost (Thorn), she broke out, "I dinna understand thae taxes; but I just think when Mrs. Thorn wants a new gown the provost sends me a tax-paper.'

A very strong-minded lady had been asking from a lady the character of a cook she was about to hire. The lady naturally entered a little upon her moral qualifications, and described her as a very decent woman; the reply to which was, "Oh, d-n her decency, can she make good collops?"

A late well-known member of the Scottish bar, when a youth, was going to pay a visit in the country, and was making a great fuss about packing up his clothes. His old aunt was much annoyed at the bustle, and stopped him by the somewhat contemptuous question, "Wherever's this you're going, Robby, that ye mak sic a grand wark about your claes ?" The young man lost temper, and

pettishly replied, "I'm going to the devil." "Deed, Robby, then," was the quiet answer, ye need nae be sa nice; he'll just tak ye as

ye are."

It is told of old Miss Johnstone, of Hawk Hill, that, when dying, a tremendous storm of rain and thunder came on, so as to shake the house. In a quaint eccentric spirit, and with no thought of profane or light allusions, she looked up, and, listening to the storm, quietly remarked, in reference to her departure, "Ech, sirs! what a nicht for me to be fleeing thro' the air!"

Some people, not very scrupulous, put bad coppers into the plate at a chapel-door on Sundays, with which a good old lady paid her losses at cards during the week, and so, in the end, it came to be known through whose veins the ill bawbees circulated.

An old lady, hearing that her farm-servant had become a local preacher among the Methodists, she attacked him: “Well, John, hast thee become preacher? Thee'lt never sound the trumpet in Zion. Thee'lt never be anything but a ram's-horn preacher." However, John's answer was not bad: "Well, missus, I may be a ram'shorn preacher, but it was the rams'-horns that brought down the walls of Jericho."

Old Mrs. Robinson had invited a gentleman to dinner-he had accepted, with the reservation, "If I am spared:" "Weel, weel," said Mrs. Robinson, "if ye're dead I'll no expect you."

How pithy and how wise, and also how Scotch, says Dean Ramsay, is the following: "A young lady, pressed by friends to marry a decent but poor man, on the plea, 'Marry for love and work for siller,' replied,It's a' vera true, but a kiss and a tinniefu' (porringer) of cauld water make a gey wersh (insipid) breakfast.'

CHARITY ON CREDIT.

A certain rich laird in Fife, whose weekly contribution to the church collection never exceeded one penny, one day, by mistake, dropped into the plate at the door a five-shilling piece; but discovering his error before he was seated in his pew, hurried back, and was about to replace the dollar by his customary penny, when the elder in attendance cried out, "Stop, laird, ye may put in what ye like, but ye maun take naething out!" The laird, finding his explanations went for nothing, at last said, "A weel, I suppose I'll get credit for it in heaven." "Na, na, laird," said the elder, "ye'll only get credit for the penny."

ENGLISH AND SCOTCH.

Some amusing tilts between English and Scottish conceit are related by Dean Ramsay. A lowland cattle-dealer expressed his sur

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prise that Nelson should have issued his signal at Trafalgar in the terms, England expects," &c. He was met with the answer (which seemed highly satisfactory to the rest), "Ay, Nelson only said 'expects' of the English; he said naething of Scotland, for he kent the Scotch would do theirs."

A splenetic Englishman said to a Scotchman, something of a wag, that no man of taste would think of remaining any time in such a country as Scotland. To which the canny Scot replied, "Tastes differ; I'se tak' ye to a place, no far frae Stirling, whaur thretty thousand of your countrymen ha' been for five hundred years, an' they've nae thotcht o' leavin' yet."

MECHANICAL WONDERS.

Sir Alexander Ramsay had been constructing, upon his estate in Scotland, a piece of machinery, which was driven by a stream of water running through the home farmyard. There were a thrashing machine, a winnowing machine, a circular saw for splitting trees, and other contrivances. Observing an old man, who had long been about the place, looking very attentively at all that was going on, Sir Alexander said, "Wonderful things people can do now, Robby?" "Ay," said Robby, "indeed, Sir Alexander; I'm thinking if Solomon was alive now, he'd be thought naething o'!"-Dean Ramsay.

A SHORT HISTORY.

The shortest chronicle of the Reformation by Knox, and of the Wars of Claverhouse (Claver'se) in Scotland, which we know of, is that of an old lady who, in speaking of those troublous times, remarked, "Scotland had a sair time o't. First, we had Knox deavin' us wi' his clavers, and syne we had Claver'se deavin' us wi' his knocks."

A LONG HORSE.

A curious correspondence once arose between Mr. Pitt and Mr. Dundas. When the latter applied to Pitt for the loan of a horse "the length of Highgate," Pitt wrote back to say that he was afraid he had not a horse in his possession quite so long as Mr. Dundas had -mentioned, but he had sent the longest he had.

AN ELECTION BALL.

An old Scotch laird, at one of these entertainments, had attired himself in splendour for the occasion. The grandee, who was going round, of course, showing civilities, said, "I dinna ken ye, Byou're so braw." "Nae," said the old squire; " and I dare say, ye'li no ken me for another seven year!"

SCOTTISH FEELING.

No example of the attachment of Scotchmen to old Scottish ways, and remembrances of their early days, has ever, says Dean Ramsay, struck me more than the story told of old Lord Lovat, which is amongst the many touching anecdotes which are traditionary of his unfortunate period. On his return from the trial at Westminster Hall, where he had been condemned to death for his adherence to the Stuart cause, he saw out of his coach-window a woman selling the sweet yellow gooseberries, which recalled the associations of youth in his native country. "Stop a minute," cried the old scoffer, who knew his days on earth were numbered; stop a minute, and gie me a ha'porth of honey-blobs," as if he had gone back in fond recollection to his schoolboy-days, in the High-street of Edinburgh, when honey-blobs had been among the pet luxuries of his young life.

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[Doubtless, the sight of the honey-blobs reproved "the offending Adam" in the peer, and reminded him of what innocence had outlived.]

ONE BETTER THAN TWO.

Lord Mulgrave, who made the Expedition of discovery towards the North Pole, was formed on rather a heavy, colossal scale; and to distinguish him from his younger brother, the Honourable Charles Phipps, who had likewise a seat in Parliament, the former was denominated "Ursa Major." He was also called "Alphesibus," it is supposed from some fancied analogy between him and the awkward imitator of the Dancing Satyrs, in the fifth eclogue of Virgil's Bucolics.

Lord Mulgrave was distinguished by a singularity of physical conformation, having two distinct voices: the one, strong and hoarse; the other, weak and querulous; of both of which he occasionally availed himself. So extraordinary a circumstance, probably, gave rise to a story of his having fallen into a ditch in a dark night, and calling for aid in his shrill voice. A countryman coming up, was about to assist him; but Lord Mulgrave addressing him in a hoarse tone, the peasant immediately exclaimed, "Oh, if there are two of you in the ditch, you may help each other out of it."

THE DUKE OF SUSSEX'S ANNULLED MARRIAGE.

While travelling in Italy, in 1792, the late Duke of Sussex formed an attachment to Lady Augusta Murray, daughter of the Earl of Dunmore. The Earl was not in Italy at the time; but Lady Dun

more consented to a private marriage of her daughter with the Duke, who was then about twenty years of age. The Duke could not have been ignorant of the Royal Marriage Act, which forbad the marriage of English princes with English subjects; and rendered the consent of the reigning sovereign necessary, even when the alliance was with persons of royal blood. Nor is it likely that such a statute could have been unknown to Lady Dunmore. The young couple, after a residence at Rome of several months, came to England. At the desire of the Duke and her friends, the lady consented to a second marriage ceremony, more public and regular than the first. The couple took lodgings in South Molton-street, at the house of a coal-merchant; merely that they might, by residence of one month in the parish of St. George's, Hanover-square, be entitled to have their banns asked in the church of that parish. They were regularly married on the 5th of December, 1793, under the names of Augustus Frederick and Augusta Murray. It was an anxious time for the lady, seeing that she was about to become a mother, and had every motive for wishing to be recognised as a true wife. The King, however, never forgave the Duke for this marriage, and even instituted a suit against his own son in the Court of Arches, for annulling the marriage. The fact of the ceremony at St. George's Church had to be rendered manifest by the testimony of the mother and sister of Lady Augusta, the clergyman who had performed the ceremony, the coalmerchant and his wife, and another witness who was present. So far as the Church was concerned, the marriage was in all respects a valid one; but the terms of the Royal Marriage Act were clear and decided; and after many months of anxious doubt the Duke and Lady Augusta were informed, by the irrevocable judgment of the Court, that the marriage was no marriage at all in the eyes of the English law, and that their infant son was illegitimate. Lady Augusta, in a letter to a friend, written in 1811, said: "Lord Thurlow told me my mar riage was good in law; religion taught me it was good at home; and not one divine of my powerful enemies could make me believe otherwise, or ever will." When the pair separated, the Duke settled on Lady Augusta an income out of the allowance he received from Parliament; but the King took care, through the whole remainder of his life, not to give the Duke a single office or post that would augment his resources.

FLIGHT OF THE PRINCESS CHARLOTTE.

In a fine evening (July 16th, 1814), about the hour of seven, when the streets are deserted by all persons of condition, the young Princess Charlotte rushed out of her residence in Warwick House, unattended;

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