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FROM OUR STALL.
J HE Honourable Samuel Slingsby, brother to the famous Lord Dundreary, is tho sort of young man Tery often met with in society, at clubs, and on race-courses, and seldom anywhero else. Ho is patrician, or he is nothing. Take from him his advantage of birth, and he is a waiter on fortune of not the most respectable sort. Sam lives upon his uncle, a plebeian, named Rumbelow, and his latest artifico to extract money has been to write to his undo to say that ho is married. Rumby, as his nephew calls him, comes down with remittances, but, to Sam's horror, sends word that he shall eomo down himself to kiss his nephew's wife and baby. Sam, liko Othello after the death of Desdemona, has "no wife," and, of course, no baby. What is ho to do? Ho is impudence itself, and what does it matter what a man of family does to low people? If a man of family wants money, you know, and that sort of thing, tho low people must bo in fault; tho thing's as clear as gaslight, daylight, moonlight—what is it f Sam coolly proposes to his friends, Mr. and Mrs. Trimbush, who have a villa at Scarborough, to let him invito Rumby there, as if the place wero his own, and also that Mrs. T., during his uncle's stay, should pass for Mrs. Sam, and—snowy crest of Arctic impudence!—that tho baby, only son of Mrs. Trimbush, and Adolphus, &c, bo handed to Rumby as the only son of the Hon. S. S., &c. The Trimbushcs yield tho point about tho house, but in re Mrs. T. and tho sacred infant, they say, "Never!" Sirs. Trimbush's unmarried sister Alico (all agreeablo married women have a single sister to deal death among their husband's bachelor acquaintances), who has cast an eye of affection upon Sam— ia not Sam tho brother of a lord, and a very worthless fellow, and is he not therefore a man invented to be loved P—volunteers for the position of honorary wife, and the good-natured Rumby is deceived. For the complications arising from this deception until five minutes before tho fall of the curtain, wo must refer our readers to the Haymarkct Theatre. Seats can be secured two months in advance. Wo may say, however, that eventually Sam espouses Alice—the lucky villain (Alico is played by Miss Nklly Moohe)—and Rumby forgives everything and everybody. What were stage-uncles made for f
Mr. Sothirn's Brother Sam is quite a creation. Ho is a lighthaired, easy-going sort of "plunger" who has gone through drill and a great deal of billiards. Ho would look well in pink, or at a steeplechaso for gentlemen riders only. It is an extraordinary performance, and suggests how admirably Mb. Sothbrn would play Jim Harthouso in Dickbns's Hard Times.
For the piece of Jlrolher Sam — it is a thoroughly theatrical piece, and has been very well done by Mb. John Oxenfoiid. It is almost a pity that so real a pcrsonago as Brother Sam should have made his appearance in a comedy so dramatically artificial. There is an odd sort of no-man's-land familiar to tho stage-side of tho footlights, and tho constant dwelling therein makes actors dubious as to the existenco of an actual world.
Brother Sam is capitally acted. Ma. Bccxstone exhibits all his good-natured English geniality in Uncle Rumby, and looks in his white wig and grey whiskers very like Loud Palmers-ton. Mr. Comfton acts tho easy-going conventional country gentleman Trimbush to the life. Miss Snowdon, or I should say Mrs. Trimbush, is an elegant, stately matron, who treads her Turkey carpet and wellrollod lawn with the proud consciousness of power, and a baby in tho nursery. Sho is as ajjraccful arch-necked swan, wearing green Bilk in the last act. Excusffthis confusion of imagery, but there arc certain subjects upon which word-painting is absolutely essential.
It is now about eighteen months ago—don't be alarmed, we are not about to bring out chairs to tho centre of tho stage, and inform you in polysyllables how under exceptional and extenuating circumstances we murdered our twin-brother and dearest friend—it is now about eighteen months ago since wo fell in love with Miss Nelly Moore. It is a charming name, Nelly, so soft and liquid—charming to write, to speak, or to hear. Well, Miss Neli Y Moore, as Alice, is all that a man's sweetheart should bo—fresh, artless, innocent, confiding, and caressing, and with just that soupcon of a will of her own, which makes fair girls still more adorable, becauso you had not supposed temper compatible with flaxen hair. And apropos of hair, let us say
that in Brother Sam Miss Nelly Moobe's hair is—well, yo3—magna est reritas, &c.—auburn.
It is one of tho penalties of success in novel-writing that the successful novelist shall undergo the pain of seeing his work in a dramatic form. To tho sensitive author who has taken pains with his plot, and who has almost taught himself to believe that tho creations of his brain enjoy an independent existenco, this must be a fearful shock. To say nothing of tho mutilation of his plot, it must be a terrible thing to find his characters bereft of their special individuality in order to meet tho resources of the theatre at which the dramatised version is to bo produced.
Miss Bh Addon's novel, EUanor's Victory, has been roughly handled by Mit. Oxenfokd. Tho novel is not by any means well fitted for stage purposes, and Mr. Oxbnford has probably adapted it as well as it could bo done. But still thero is a disjointedness (if wo may be allowed tho expression) about the play which it is impossible to overlook. Miss Herbert, as Eleanor Vane, played very charmingly, and, of course, looked extremely ladylike. She appears to have lost much of that " wavy " action which, a year ago, constituted her principal defect, and her performance in Eleanor's Victory really left nothing to bo desired. Mu. H. J. Montague playod the disasrrceablc part of Lancelot Darrell in a quiet, gentlemanly manner, and gave evidence of an appreciation of character which will do much to raise him in his profession. Mr. Robinson's Bourdon was simply a conventional heavy villain, and calls for no notice. Mr. and Mrs. Frank Matthews, as Major and Mrs. Lcnnard, wandered aimlessly through tho earlier acts, interchanging remarks utterly pointless in themselves, but given so artistically that one overlooked the nonsense they talked in admiration of the manner in which they talked it. The piece is capitally placed upon the stage, and was extremely well received.
GOOD NEWS FOR PAGANS.
There is a peculiarly offensive class of advertisers who derivo considerable incomes from a judicious investment of a floating capital of conventional Christianity. If thoy want an engagement they invariably insist that it shall bo in a Christian family, as if Pagan families were the rule in England. They can do nothing in advertisements without lugging in Christendom neck and heels, and a largo proportion of them consider that no announcement is complete unless studded with "D.V.'s." They pass their lives in saying one perpetual graco—not in tho spirit, which is right and proper, but orally and with a groat deal of sounding brass, which is hypocritical and contemptible.
But tho following advertisement would seem to suggest that the advertiser has tried Christianity and found it a failure :—
rpO the NOBILITY.—A highly educated gentlewoman, nho has had (for the kit eight year?) a few youtu ladies to educate on the plan of a private Christian family, And* It floes not answer, and wishes a UE-ENUAU EMENT in a nobleman's family as GOVEKNESS or CIIAPERO.NE.
There is a candour about this which we should hardly havo looked for in an advertising Christian, especially a Christian whoso sense of gentility will not permit her to discharge her Christian functions in any but a nobleman's family. An advertising Christian is the very one of all others who would bo likely to despise tho baronetage as long as sho was in a position to identify herself, if only as a chaperone, with dukes, marquises, earls, viscounts, and barons. Wo are not sorry to hear of the failure of a Christianity which is recorded by its votary simply as a speculation which "does not answer."
By the bye, wo understand that Mahomet, Confucius, Buddha, Vishnu, Siva, Brahma, Mare, Bacchus, Apollo, and Virorum havo interchanged cards of congratulation.
Of course it would bo too Hibernian to say that a Scotchman has made an Irish bull, but we must bo permitted to express an opinion that the following paragraph is a Kyloo variety of that well-known animal: —
"Before the PniNcv: op Wales visits Donrobtn Castle in the autumn, tho wholo of the Sutherland Volunteers are to be diverted of their . :ers."
Instead of calling the castle Dunrobin, we should think, under the circumstances, it ought to be designated Begun-unrobin'.
A Private Inquiry.—Why is a soldier who attends to tho command, "Preparo to receive cavalry," like his own weapon ?—Becauso ho's abeyin'-it.
; Ha Vino now, by the brilliant success of all his prophecies, raised your organ to what I may call a Sportivo Pinnacle, Nicholas will seriously enter upon his editorial duties, which is to impart information regardless of ago or sex. There is no racing fixture which he considers worthy of particular mention just at present; added to which, evor since that horrible rainontho Oaks day am racked with rheumatism that would movo a flint, and as hoarso as tho Scotch raven mentioned by Shakespeare in Macbeth, and having been myself in Scotland, where it rained perpetual, Bhould imagine that a Sctf/i raven was very hoarse indeed, Shakespeare saying as much, and the swan of Avon being amongst tho most intelligent men of his time, and therefore not likely to be wrong. As for anticipations of Ascot or tho Ledger, you shall have them all in good time, and is much mistaken if I do not pull off both ovents as successfully as Epsom. It is well said by the poet Kemble—
'"Ti» the sunset of life gives me myetioil lore,
Yes, Mr. Editor, the old man is, as he may say, declining into the Vale of Years. He have had his up* and downs, which if all his experience were to be wrote down in a book tho reader might exclaim, with Titus Andronicus, "0 Truth, thou art stranger than Fiction!" and will readily back it for interest and variety ngainst the field, bar none. And some day perchance will communicate to you a few chapters from my authorbiography.
Fond as Nicholas may be of equestrian competitions—or, as a man might say, horso-racing—he knows that thero are other pursuits to which the youth of his native land (Britannia the pridu of tho ocean, the home of the brave and the free, the shrine of the patriot's devotion, as it says in tho well-known Bong) are addicted. In many of those games, it would not bo consistent with tho figure of your prophet, nor with his time of life, to tako an active part, having always had a slight tendency to corpulence, and which the sight of a white-haired elder a-taking of a header at a swimming baths for a silver cup would make younger people only look contemptuous; but can play at croquet, and it is pleasant in the evening of one's life, after vicissitudes, to moon about a lawn in a fatherly manner, like what Nicholas would expect in a Rural Dean with a balanco at tho bank; and, in fact, shall go into society a good deal this year. Why not f
I shall always give special prominence to every subject connected with
Jly own career is a sufficient refutation of tho absurd prejudices against betting and betting-men. I have shown, I trust, that honesty, mingled with good private information, may lead to fortune through tho paths of speculation; and as to gentlemanly manners am second to none, never having eaten fish with a knife since I came into my present house, no more I ever will.
The manly art of solf-dofence will occasionally form tho subject of a bright and graphic article, modelled upon them which have appeared in the columns of the daily press. And though now too fat for sparring, not to speak of his years, Nicholas fancies ho could still put ono or two of tho young ones up to a trick or two; and would lift up his hands even now if he saw any one ill-treat a woman.
Of this noble sport your Prophet is particular fond; and when there is no great racing meeting on, you may see the old man a-sitting quietly on a bonch at Kennington Oval or Lord's, though not so often the latter, owing to his having been meanly blackballed when he put up as a member for the Marylebono, with his honest pot of porter on tho ground besido him, though well able to afford sherry wine if it wouldn't look so ostentatious. Nicholas will soon have something to say to the professional players.
HUNTING AND COURSING Will be attended to, as the season may require, though yon don't catch a man at my timo of life a-riding recklessly at five-barred gates like Mr. Anthony Tkollope in the 1'all Mall Qazette.
Shall never be neglected, for as tho twig is bent tho treo's inclined, and although your Sportive Editor was not particularly fortunato in Scotland with the salmons, yet is always game to mako ono in a punt, and shall never forget my happiness the first timo as I caught a col. Added to which, fishing will enable me to describe scenery, and show
that a racing man may have an cyo for nature as proud as that which beats beneath a monarch's purple robe.
A life on tho ocean wave has many charms for thoso who really lilto it, nor will Nicholas forget the existence of that numerous class, notwithstanding himself averso to rough weather at sea.
And, in conclusion, your Prophet hopes to do what has never yet beon done in any other sportive organ—namely, to present your readers with a clear and concise account of ,
Knurr" And Spell.
The variety of ways in which a journey can bo accomplished in these days is almost endless; but we must confess to a little surprise at discovering one mode of travelling, hitherto unheard of, mentioned in an off-hand manner in the following advertisement :—
ert Detached Cottas*, with good Let at £18 4«. Ground rent £2. Also, % — Park. Let at £2U 16s. Ground
Good Small Investments.—A:
ESSKS. BROTHERS will SBLL the above, at GARRAWAY'S. Cornh ll,
, June . at O.ie o'clock, by- direction of the vendor, leAo u leaving
London in Separate Lota. Particulars, elo.
On behalf of tho timorous and nervous we entreat tho railway companies to keep an eye on this eccentrio vendor. Imagine the terror of an unprotected female on finding a ghastly " separate lot" of dissipated vendor in the same carriage with her! But the railways will probably look after him on their own account, because if any of the lots wore mislaid—say, tho trunk, for instance—no doubt ho could proceed against them for lost luggago.
CONCENTRATED ESSENCE OF THOUGHT.
BY ODE. OWN' El'iaRAMMATI6T.
Adversity is a sharp thimblo that is never so near individuality as when it is bowled over by the thin thread of research.
Matrimony resembles spring peas—it puffs wildly for a century or two, and then settles down into a contemptuous Committee of Ways and Means.
What is happiness but tho charity of tho many eliminated by the dandy-grey-russet of the few?
The philosopher said that no ono ever yet saw tho inside of an adverb. How much more truly might he have remarked that no onu ever yet beheld the outside of a preposition!
Beauty is, after all, but a manly interior covered by the gombroon cloak of contemptuous individuality.
The Chancellor's Hinton-ation.
We learn from a fashionable contemporary that,
"There is no foundation for the report that the Lord Chancellor has taken Uinton House, the seat of Eahl Paulett.11
Wo thought as much! It was evident from the way in which ho treated the report of the Edmunds Committee, that his lordship was not tho sort of man to take a Hint-on any subject.
We are assured by tho editor of tho I'apcrmaker's Journal that the reason why no cathederal is considered complete without a couple of dozen choristers in white surplices is that there mustalwayB be twentyfour sheets in a quire, or place where they Bing.
Emigration Extraordinary.—In consequence of tho extreme heat of tho weather, all the Coolies have gone to Chili.
A LITTLE GAME OF THEIR OWN.
Captain:—" Don't You Think I Am Left In A Dangerous Position?"
(On this the Angel in the hat exercises her privileges, and Captain C. is compelled to be "taken with" his temptress.
A MATINEE MUSICALE.
What time the streets in leafy June
Resound with many a rolling carriage; And many a fashionahle "spoon,"
Results in fashionable marriage; The world of music wakes to life,
And scented programmes give you warnings; You must buy tickets for your wife,
For concerts held on coming mornings. A morning concert! do not deem
'Tis when the streets are calm and stilly— When shines the sunlight's early gleam,
And milkmen shout in Piccadilly; But in the afternoon at three,
When westward is the sun declining, And quiet folks like you and mo
Are nursing vague ideas of dining. At three p.m., the proper time,
You go where gleams the panorama Of (oh, forgive the cockney rhyme)
Pianos with the name of Crambu; And thore in clouds of silk appear
Long rows of fashionahle ladies— A man, it may be mentioned here,
Of morning concerts much afraid is. Four foreigners, four violins,
Play a quartette in F by Haydn; Thus usually the thing begins,
Then the conductor leads a maiden
Up to the dais, who en pose,
Warbles a scena, allegretto; Or elso a daring tenor goes,
Liko Wachtbl, to the C di petto.
These over, then an artiste plays,
The audience gontly murmur praise-
Tho Beneficiaire, of courso,
Then, as old ballads say, " To horso!"
Tho concert o'er, an inward sense
Of duty dono steals gently o'er you; Your wife's delight's, of course, immense,
But as for you it did but bore you. Then learn the secrot of her joy,
I'll stake my very life upon it: Her pleasure was without alloy—
She didn't sec a smarter bonnet!
An authority on matters of mode tells us,
"Dresses without sleeves are the st;le in F»ris."
Ah, the Parisians have always displayed a favourable inclination towards the army.