dressing-up of the volume with illustrations by DOYLE and MILLAIS is not complimentary when one remembers that the two first volumes of the series were not pictorial. There are few poets of the present day who would come out of the ordeal as well as MR. LOCKER, but he should not have been subjected to it by injudicious advisers. MR. SWINBURNE, whose Atalanta in Calydon has achieved a success, which I thought it was much too good to win with the general public, is about to bring out another volume. This time, I believe, he publishes with MESSRS. TINSLEY. How can a respectable paper like the Bookseller, which should be possessed of sound information, circulate such injurious and unfounded reports as that it has set going about a periodical which had all the elements of success except able editing? The circumstances under which it was started enlisted the best wishes for its success, and, I believe, with a good man at the helm it might yet make a prosperous sail. "A"-good deal of ignorance-" is a dangerous thing." Here is a little bit of art criticism from a daily paper: "The Lay of KING CANUTE' (No. 327). A worse title cannot be conceived, unless we take it in the slang sense, and discover that KING CANUTE's 'lay' was to make his courtiers row him near to the land that he might hear the monks of Ely sing." If the critic had read his Mrs. Markham he need not have gone to the Slang Dictionary, for he would then have learned that the verses quoted against MR. O'NEIL's picture in the catalogue are supposed to have been written by KING KNUT himself, though I believe erroneously; but I'm no authority on these subjects, as I have never been so nearly becoming a member of the Society of Antiquaries as to get black balled even. "Then the lettre de cachet?" "Was in the handwriting of the COMPTE D'ARTOIS." PIERRE buried his face in his hands. "What proof have you of this?" he gasped, hoarsely. "When was JEAN PAUL MARAT known to betray a friend or to forgive an enemy?" croaked his companion, whose countenance grew fiend-like. "I hate the proud Austrian woman, and abhor those pampered aristocrats who grind the faces of poor and honest patriots in the dust. Listen, PIERRE. Before six months have rolled over the head of France there shall be a day of retribution-a day ofA loud summons at the door interrupted the speaker. "Entrez," cried PIERRE, checking the oath which rose to his lips as the door opened. The new comer was plainly but neatly dressed. His features were sharply defined, and his complexion was of a somewhat unwholesome tint. "Gentlemen," he began, in a high, ringing, but not unmusical tone of voice, “pardon my intrusion. I am an utter stranger in this great city, and, having lost my way amongst its windings, I find myself obliged to seek shelter under this hospitable roof. May I be permitted to share your society and conversation?" There was a grave dignity in the stranger's manner that awed while it fascinated. He took a chair and called for wine. The clock struck four, and still the two friends sat listening greedily to the torrent of eloquence that poured from the lips of the stranger. At length he rose. "You will at least let us know," said MARAT, respectfully, "to whom we are indebted for this intellectual feast." The stranger smiled sadly. an unscrupulous one; and, partly by threats, partly by promises, he had compelled his daughter to receive the addresses of the VICOMTE DE BEAUNE, a notorious gambler. VALERIE, whose affections were already engaged, strove in vain to shake her parent's resolution. On the night of the 3rd January, 1789, the Château de Saint Julien was the scene of a frightful tragedy. The unhappy marquis, who was discovered by the servants at the point of death, affirmed that three men of gigantic stature had found their way into his sleeping apartment, and inflicted upon him the wounds of which he was dying. A rigid search was made by the officers of justice; but for some time the search was fruitless. At last, however, on the third stair from the marquis's bedroom they found pondent for a daily contemporary) has been suddenly called away [Our valued contributor (who acts occasionally as the special corresfrom town on public business. We have extorted from him a promise to send us the remainder of his charming little story by telegraph. No doubt it will arrive in time for insertion in the present number.ED. FUN.] We waited, until P.S. Our contributor has treated us shamefully. suspense became agonizing, for the sequel of this tale, and then sent off a telegram to the author. We annex a copy of our despatch :"Well! found what, you sneaking hound?” This appeal produced the following unsatisfactory reply :"The mark of a eminently calculated to bring about the desired result. Here it is:We then tried conciliation, and sent a despatch that we thought "Oh, think of the millions who are getting rather anxious to hear what on earth it could have been the mark of. Think of the weeping wives and families who—” This message contains exactly thirty words. We didn't care to embark too much of our capital on a doubtful issue, or else we should have sent forty. No reply has been received either to this remonstrance or to the following question which we sent a few hours ago :"Could it have been a boot?" ourselves with laying the foregoing correspondence before the public We must, therefore, let the matter rest for the present, contenting to convince them that the fault is not ours.-ED. FUN. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. A LOVER OF LEMPRIERE.-We do not remember meeting with the story of the fraud practised by PHŒBUS on NEPTUNE. But we have often seen the sun taking a rise out of the sea. A FURIOUS PARTY.-Any exhibition of force is punishable by law-except it be in the form of a frame, and applied to cucumbers. Ask any respectable solicitor, and let us know when you have found him. AN INVALID. Your doctor is quite right in recommending exercise. It is strongly recommended by CELSUS, who seemed to consider it everything, to judge from his celebrated maxim, "Valks, et præterca nihil." AN INQUIRER.-ZIMMERMANN was a recluse who hated society, and wrote a book in praise of solitude. He early showed a disinclination to make friends, and cut his own teeth while yet in arms. AN ARTIST, who has been kind enough to leave twenty blocks as specimens of drawing, with the information that he has three hundred more on hand, will greatly oblige us if he will call for the timber, or we shall have to charge warehouse-room. PICTOR IGNOTUS offers us a few cuts if we want them. It depends on the kind of cut he means. Why does he not give us the cut direct? If he means a cut at a haunch of venison, we say "Decidedly yes!" If he means a drawing, of the sort he encloses, by a cut, we can only say, "Cut, by all means!" DECLINED WITH THANKS.-A dozen fine old crusted jokes, very originally forwarded as original by A. Doo, I. STEEL, and others. "A Poem on Equitation," in several canters. "Sir Gallimaufray; a sensation romance, in seventy-eight convulsions. "The Parrot of the Peraira," by CAPTAIN CAN'T WRIGHT. RECEIVED, WITH GRATITUDE.-Every encouragement from a generous "Gentlemen," said he, "I am only a poor struggling advocate. My and discriminating public. birth-place is Árras.” THE BRITISH INSTITUTION. [N.B.-Our Art Critic is out of town; and we do not hold ourselves responsible for the opinions of the gentleman whom he has appointed his substitute.-ED.] WITH every desire to encourage rising merit, we find it hard to speak in favourable terms of the works that are now on view at Number Fifty-two, Pall-mall. They are, we presume, the productions of very young men, several of whom appear to be of foreign extraction. But they are certainly unlike the masterpieces of modern British art which are annually exhibited in Suffolk-street and Trafalgar-square. The artists would do well to wait a few years before they again provoke public criticism. A MR. P. P. RUBENS, of whom we hear for the first time, has sent a couple of contributions, in both of which he is understood to have depicted himself and his wife. This young gentleman has yet to learn that domestic affection, though praiseworthy in itself, will not atone for gross slovenliness in the handling and crudely inharmonious colour. He should study the works of MR. FRANCIS GRANT, R.A., if he really wishes to attain to excellence as a portrait painter. A couple of landscapes by a gentleman who exhibits under the obviously fictitious name of CLAUDE LORRAINE, are devoted respectively to "Morning" and "Evening." It would be hard to say which is worse. Both are tame and conventional to a degree. A picture by one MR. REMBRANDT is chiefly notable for its grossly affected disposition of light and shade. The title, too, which he has unblushingly affixed to it-"REMBRANDT'S Mistress "-is egotistical and offensive, if not absolutely immoral. MR. REMBRANDT must either be a profligate or a footman. Let him learn modesty from the great artist who painted "Whistler's House." Another gentleman, who rejoices in the euphonious cognomen of VANDYKE, sends a set of historical portraits; but they are trivial and insignificant in comparison to the divine works of our own native PICKERSGILL, R.A. We suppose that these young painters consider it exceedingly witty to hide their real names under some ridiculous equivocation 'MR. CANALETTO," for instance, no doubt passes as a humourist in Newman - street, through his absurd pun upon one of the most interesting features of that beautiful city-Venice-which he has tried to paint; we allude, of course, to the canals. Indeed, but for this ill-considered piece of buffoonery, his works would probably not have attracted any attention at all. They are emphatically of the tea-board style of art. A MR. S. Rosa (why does he try to hide the SAMUEL? We hate these affectations!) contributes what we presume he calls a landscape. We call it a smudge! One "CUYP" (probably a misprint of the name) shows a "River Scene," but it is misty and unintelligible; whilst the same unfortunate victim of a printer's carelessness, has a "landscape" which it would be cruelty on our part to criticise, but which it is insolence on his to exhibit. We have only visited the gallery twice-once on the private-viewday, when it was crowded, and again on a shilling day, when there was scarcely a person in the room. It is, of course, easy enough for these young men to pack the room with their private friends; but taste is not yet quite extinct in England, and we are glad to find that they can't impose upon the public at large. THE DRUM THAT CAN'T BE BEATEN.-The Storm-Drum. Printed by JUDD & GLASS, 80, Fleet Street, and Phoenix Works, St. Andrew's Hill, Doctors' Commons, and Published (for the Proprietors) by THOMAS BAKER, at 80, Fleet Street.-June 17, 1865. Court Circular. Enter BOCCACIO with harp. BOCCACIO.-Shall I sing you something? GEMMA.-No. Move on! BOCCACIO. Then carse everybody! Carse you, Gemma di Vergy, in E have much pleasure in particular! You'll see! the following fashionable intelligence from exclusive sources before our readers:At 8 a.m. His ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES kindly consented to be present at the opening of his own eyes. At 9 a.m. His Royal Highness superintended the Opening of the bedroom shutters in person. At 10 a.m. His Royal Highness opened the Times, and immediately afterwards proceeded to open an egg. At 11 a.m. His Royal Highness presided at the Opening of the gates of Marlborough House. At 12 His Royal Highness honoured with his presence the Opening of two hotels, three main drainage works, a pair of picture galleries, and an infant school. At 1 p.m. His Royal Highness, while partaking of a light lunch, assisted at the Opening of a dozen oysters, a paté de foie gras, and a bottle of Moselle. At 2 p.m. His Royal Highness was present at the Opening of more hotels, works, galleries and schools. At 3 p.m. His Royal Highness looked in at the Opening of a street in the interests of the water company. At 4 p.m. His Royal Highness expressed himself to the effect that how he was to get through all the inaugurations which he was called upon to honour was quite an open question. [We keep our columns open till the latest moment in case His Royal Highness should attend any more of these interesting ceremonies.] JULIA. A murrain on thee, thou fool! (Six years are supposed to elapse.) ACT 3.-The same. EDWARDS.-My lord is wounded in the tournay, and is like to die! EMILY.-Oh! poor fellow! GEMMA.-Hah! She is sorry! Then she loves him! I will kill her! RODERICK.-Do! GEMMA.-Carses! May my bitterest carses, &c., &c., &c. ACT 5.-The same with a sofa in it. EMILY on it in evening dress and crinoline as worn by the early Welsh. Enter GEMMA. GEMMA.-Ha! she sleeps! 'Tis well! She dies! EMILY.-Ah, Gemma! GEMMA.-Die! EMILY.-No! Why? GEMMA. You love my husband! EMILY.-Not particularly. I like him as a brother-in-law. GEMMA.-Oh! Then I will die instead. Go away. (Exit Emily.) Now for it! POPE.-Is she dead? Enter POPE. (Drinks poison.) GEMMA (with mental reservation).-No; but she will be soon! POPE.-I am. Ha ha! That strikes thee to thy soul! GEMMA.-No, I don't care. I am about to die, but before the fluttering spirit hath fled, carses, my death-bed carses wither you up into raisins! (Dies.) POPE.-Horrible! most horrible! Enter all the characters, who curse each other all round (this effect is registered); they then curse themselves, and finally the audience. CURTAIN. Do Your Duty. WE hear that SIR JAMES FERGUSSON, BART., M.P., intends to move for leave to bring in a bill to repeal the duty on marriage certificates. A deputation of married ladies waited on the honourable baronet the other day, and suggested that the duty of obedience should also be insert their clause into his bill, but he declined to let them have a finger in it. JUMBLES (sarcastically)-Nay, it is thou that art the fool, and even repealed. The deputation tried to persuade SIR JAMES to let them I, JUMBLES, the poor jester, am the wise man. Enter GEMMA DI VERGY. GEMMA (sternly and with purpose).-This jester hath amused me oft with his rare wit. JUMBLES (feeling himself called upon to say something smart).-Then art thou forsworn, and I, the fool, am the wiser of the twain. GEMMA.-Carses! My bitterest carses blight you both! Wow! Musical Mems. IN composing a round you should always use circular notes. WHY is the leader of the orchestra at the opera the most wonderful man of the age ?-Because he beats Time. TOWN TALK. BY THE SAUNTERER IN SOCIETY. SPORTING INTELLIGENCE. PARIS, THE GRAND HOTEL, MONDAY, JUNE 12. VIVE LA FRANCE! Ever since I left my native shore, with the exception of a brief but tumultuous interval of stomachic misery on board the packet, your Prophet has had a remarkably good time of it, never having been in Paris before, circumstances pecuniary and social being rather against him until recent luck. ELECTION addresses are getting as plentiful as leaves in Vallombroso. THE GRAND PRIX DE PARIS.-ASCOT ANTICIPATIONS. I don't know-in the way of fiction-a more amusing style of literature than is to be found in these manifestos. This time one of the funniest is LORD RANELAGH's despatch, or bulletin, or whatever is the military term for it, to the electors of Bodmin. The ALEXANDER of the Volunteer Service, instead of weeping that there are no worlds to conquer, goes straight to attack Mr. WYLD and the ex-globe of Leicester-square. Then we have MR. HUDSON, the dethroned Railway King, at Whitby, where he crops up again, after his unlimited cropper, like the local jet. It is very pleasant to be set right an any point, and one ought to be glad to learn from MR. HUDSON's own lips that he has been a benefactor of his species, because the general impression has been rather the reverse. Westminster ought to be a very literary constituency to judge from the fact that two gentlemen connected in different ways with literature are aiming at its representation-MR. JOHN STUART MILL and MR. W. H. SMITH, who might take a hint from a popular journal, and date "From our (book) stall." Paris-the looteacher Parisionum of the ancients-has been so often described that NICHOLAS will not detain your readers by details concerning of manners and customs, since such must be expected as different in foreign parts, and which instead of their flim-flam and their kickshaws, give me a honest joint and a good glass of sherry wine! With a paganism which NICHOLAS will not attempt to extenuate nor set down in malice, the Grand Race was held yesterday (Sunday), but am bound to say, in spite of such profanity, and which I am told is THE reappearance of the Railway King is appropriate at a time habitual, the people were most well-conducted and more sober than is when railways are smashing again. This time, however, the smash-usual on a race-course amongst a contiguous people much given to ing is transitive, and the sufferers pay in person, not pocket. A com- speak of the French as our lively neighbours." plaint has been made in the House, and the attention of Government directed to the negligence and mismanagement which give rise to these accidents; but, as a matter of course, "Government could do nothing," a fact with which we are all acquainted. Parliament contains too many directors for us to expect any improvement in the conduct of the companies. Until we can bring the necessity for a change palpably home to the railways by making the compensation they have to pay for negligence heavier than the profits they derive from it-in fact until railway travelling is made a losing hazard to the companies we shall get nothing done. THE Oxford dons are for the most part in a state of excitement at the proposed desecration of the grand old city by the establishment of the railway works there. I am inclined to think that they have blundered into the right in opposing it. The benefit to the trade of Oxford is questionable, the injury very evident. If the University behaves itself prettily in the matter of MR. GLADSTONE'S return, and proves itself worthy of our support, we'll see what can be done to transfer the works to Didcot or elsewhere. LONDON is being beautified by private enterprise. The palatial hotels which are rising in all quarters are really great additions to the metropolis in an architectural point of view. The latest, and perhaps the largest and finest of these huge caravanserais, the Langham, was opened the other day, with a very public private view. The situation is noble, the look-out splendid, but I don't see what prospect the shareholders can have of seeing their outlay back. The ornamentation is by a public creditor. We all owe OWEN JONES a debt of gratitude. The cost of such adornments in the style of old illumination must considerably swell the item of missal-laneous expenditure in the company's accounts. THE South Kensington clique have muddled the Miniature Exhibition in their accustomed style. A heterogeneous jumble of good, bad and indifferent miniatures of all periods, as excessive in quantity as it is deficient in quality, is not what should have been the result of their labours; and the audacity of charging five shillings for the catalogue is insufferable. It is simply an imposition. the crowds that nightly frequent a certain wood to hear the song of I SEE a paragraph going the rounds of the papers, and describing a nightingale. May I draw attention to the note-a fifty pound oneof another NIGHTINGALE-MISS FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE presented to the National Lifeboat Association? As great a crowd as possible should adopt this as their key-note. Capital embarked in lifeboats is safe to return interest of the right sort. MR. BOUCI Ah, sir, you should have heard the old man cheer when LEWIS NAPOLEON came on the course! "Vive l'Empereur !" cries NICHOLAS, and "Vive l'Empress, et le Infant Prince Imperial, bless his petit cœur.' I have always respected that eminent man, looking upon him as a sort of political NICHOLAS himself, which have had his ups and downs, but rose to success, exactly like your Prophet, by his own determination and sagacity. Besides, the French like a strong government. I have now been in Paris two whole days and a half, so can speak from personal experience of their character. You will already have heard the result of the race from other and earlier sources of information, and which what I allude to is the electric fluid. The victory again fell to my own old favourite-to that horse which I have stood through thick and thin, regardless of calumny, and too proud to hedge, namely, videlicet, GLADIATEUR. I think I predicted as much in my contribution to Number Five of the New Serious, but not having a file of the paper by me in this foreign clime, cannot say positive. I know I meant to, at any rate, and, personally, I backed him heavy. French correspondent, M. JEAN GODIN, than whom I am sure a more After the race, however, who should come up to NICHOLAS but your affable young gentleman, though too much given to coloured clothes and shrugging up of his shoulders, and flinging his arms out like a spread eagle, and speaking through his nose, and I don't believe could tell a three-year-old from a old cart-horse, but we can't all be NICHOLASES; So off we went to an International banquet, and plenty of champagne, but the old man was cautious, Mr. Editor, and stuck to his sherry wine. And as soon as the feed was over, sir, hang me if they didn't propose the jolly good health of the Sportive Men of Angleterre! It says in the paper that thanks was returned by MR. MORRIS; but the paper must have had too much to drink, or not been familiar with fashion, him interrupting of NICHOLAS, and taking the words as I may say out because, as for MR. MORRIS, who is a most respectable man-as for and well he did it, though your Prophet says so, considering it was in of your Prophet's mouth, why MR. MORRIS would scorn the action. No, Mr. Editor; NICHOLAS returned thanks, as your Sportive Editor, a foreign language with which I am not habitually familiar, though second to none as regards purity of accent. alone can show whether it will prove successful, but you are tolerably It was at this dinner that I gave my Ascot tip. Of course time well aware by this time, I should fancy, that the old man is not a fool. This, then, is my tip, and which I hope it will reach you in time to be published in Number Six of the New Serious. Ir is not always that success attends on merit, but the popularity of Arrah-na-Pogue is certainly well-deserved. It is one of the best dramas I ever saw, and admirably acted and put on the stage. There are some capital characters and clever situations in it. MRS. BOUCI-lant, c'est avec grande émotion que je rise. Messieurs," I said, "unaccoutomé comme je suis au publique parGAULT was as charmingly natural and touching as ever. Quant au Coupe de CAULT'S honesty is consummate acting. MR. DOMINICK MURRAY'S l'Ascot, le Général Peel est un bon cheval; mais Ely est un meilleur. villain is a fine creation, and the O'Grady of MR. BROUGHAM a firstIl est possible que les deux couriront une morte chaleur, or dead heat, class bit of character-painting. I hear, by the bye, that MR. mais je crois que Ely sera le vainqueur. Comme pour Fille de l'Air, BROUGHAM is about to return to America, and I regret it. Why did Messieurs, elle n'a pas la fantôme d'une chance!" MR. FECHTER part with him? The good luck of the Lyceum seemed to be transferred to the Oxford-street theatre when the author of Bel Demonio and The Duke's Motto left the Lyceum company. I CAME the other day on a paragraph in a paper stating that "as MR. MECHI was desirous of parting with Tiptree Hall, a number of gentlemen had determined to buy it and present it to him," which reads fannily. The oddest bit of questionable writing of this sort was to be found in the Pall Mall Gazette, in a paragraph which it subsequently described as 66 so worded as to convey an erroneous impression," that impression being, in fact, the exact opposite of what was intended. laid heavy against the General, came up to NICHOLAS and wanted to Here GODIN got noisy, but some of the French bookmakers who had kiss the old man on the cheek; but NICHOLAS keeps his kisses for the maids of merry England-the maids of merry, merry England. Let the bottle pass, and we'll fill another glass, to the maids of merry, merry England! NICHOLAS. NOTE. It will be observed that our esteemed correspondent dates "Paris, Monday, June 12," but the packet only reached us on Friday, June 16th, and it bore the postmark, not of Paris, but of Windsor. We have written to his Belgravian address for an explanation.-Ed. |