TOPSY-TURVY PAPERS. II. THE RISE AND PROGRESS OF BARBARISM. (A RETROGRADE ESSAY, BY A BACKWARD F.S.A.) HISTORIANS must look back to the nineteenth century to a period as remote as the reign of VICTORIA-for the earliest links visible in that marvellous chain of causes and effects which has been the means of bringing us to our present advanced and happy condition. The people of this generation, fortunate enough to exist under the sway of our beloved KING ARTHUR (who has just gone down to Camelot, in Hampshire, for a little jousting, bless his royal heart!), can scarcely hope to obtain a true picture of the period in question, veiled as it is in the dense vapour of antiquity, and misrepresented wilfully or in ignorance by the chroniclers. A considerable part of the traditions that have come down to us regarding the VICTORIAN era are known to be pure fiction; in fact, many acute thinkers are doubtful whether such a person as QUEEN VICTORIA ever existed. Without entering on this question, however, we may venture to assert that in the nineteenth century England was wallowing in the lowest possible depths of civilization. Be it our pleasing task to notice briefly some of the most important features in the growth of barbarism and the consequent increase of human happiness. the last embers of civilization. The only exception was ALFRED, who endeavoured-luckily in vain-to stem the tide of progress; a crime for which his name is still held in execration by peer and peasant. The history of the remaining years would be merely a record of brilliant successes in the field of advancement; and we need hardly inform the reader that our present sovereign, and his chief ministers— especially SIR LAUNCELOT, SIR GALAHED, and SIR BEDIVERE—are sworn champions of reform; while the effete Conservative party are gradually waxing fainter in their attempts to lead us back into the horrors of nineteenth-century civilization. OUR LIBRARY TABLE. THE critic, uncertain what work to select for review, has only to follow his nose and he will at once come to the point, which will indicate MR. RIMMEL's agreeable "Book of Perfumes." It is a work of some considerable research, giving, as it does, the history of perfumes from the adol-essence of the early ages down to the pre-scent day, &c. The author deserves very great credit at our hands when we reflect how trying it must have been to one with his sensitive appreciation of odour to pore over musty records, and manuscripts with an unpleasant "booky," as the French call it. Some of the anecdotes embalmed in these pages are very interesting. Although our space is limited we venture to quote a brief one, extracted from the chronicles of VALKERIUS HOOKEIUS, a learned monk who flourished in the reign of ELIZABETH. "When our Gracyous Suvereign did once make a progresse through ye Citye, a certaine parfumier, who had hys Compter or Mart on ye strand of Thames, EUGENIUS RYMEL by name, did compound and devyse a parfume ye which he intituled 'Cupid's Tears,' signifying, thereby, the distresse of Master Cupid at ye Mayden Queen her despysement of ye tender pashion. But hyr Gracyous Majestie, perceaving when he presented the flask for hyr acceptaunce that hyr Women-in-Wayting did look thereon with eyes of longing, said pleasauntly, 'Sweets to the suite,' which words the cunninge WILL SHAKSPEER did presently embedde in ye language of one of his stageplays." Under VICTORIA the degradation of our species was such that it was actually thought a noble thing for people to control their passions. The first gleam of chivalry became visible above the horizon during the Georgian dynasty, and the name of FIGHTING FITZGERALD (one of the earliest heroes mentioned in history) is a name that still brings the flush of admiration to the brows of our noblest and our fairest. His portrait has come down to us, and now hangs in SIR GALAHED's dining-room at Joyous Gard. The greatest service conferred on barbarism in the reign of VICTORIA, however, was the abolition of railways, telegraphs, balloons, Eureka shirts, music-halls, and Opoponax, which brutalizing evidences of civilization were at this time swept from the face of the earth. Writers of the present day are in the habit of asserting that the music-halls of the ancient Britons are fabulous institutions; that their existence has never been proved. We should be indeed happy if we could conscientiously acquit our ancestors of so atrocious an invention; but our esteemed and veracious friend MERLIN-the well-known professor of cheiromancy-has in his possession a loathsome document which we believe to be nothing more (and it cannot possibly be anything less) than an antique chant. We have deciphered to the best of our ability this painful relic of a bygone civilization, and it has brought us to the conclusion that such expressions as "Slap bang," and "Jolly Dogs" could have originated nowhere save in a medieval music-hall of the very worst character. Leaving this humiliating subject, let us follow the traces of barbarism once more. During the ascendancy of the STUARTS a good We would, before concluding our notice, recommend particularly many visible improvements took place, both in social and intellectual for perusal the chapters "On the present state of the Drama" (with matters. The reading public, for instance, began to diminish rapidly, special reference to R.-ROMER), "On Manufactures" (illustrated by and certain acts of individual prowess performed by JUDGE JEFFREYS, numerous views of the ol-factories), "On Finance" (as considered in COLONEL BLOOD, and other worthies, showed that mankind was ready relation to per-scentage, and the connection between our national debt to take rapid strides in the right direction. The execution of KING and the Owe de Cologne), "On Natural History" (with a brief essay CHARLES THE FIRST was a noble exemplification of that reforming on the skunk as distinguished from the ottar of rose), and those conspirit which animated all classes. A couple of centuries earlier (say, cluding remarks on perfumes in general, which may be briefly destemp. VICTORIA) such a step would actually have been looked upon as scribed as extras. cruel. And yet there are still people in the world who talk about the "good old times," and regret that they were not born in the nineteenth century! Step by step civilization retreated before the advance of barbarism; and in the reign of good QUEEN BESS mankind gave up for ever the disgusting practice of mangling their food with knives and other weapons. Does it not appear incredible that the human race should have existed three centuries without perceiving that our fingers are given us to divide our meat with? How ludicrous-yet how painful must have been the spectacle of an ancient feast where every possible obstacle was put between caters and eatables; where a lordly joint grew cold while demons in the garb of men were deliberating as to the slowest and most circuitous method of getting at it! In ELIZABETH's reign, the degrading influence of the drama received its death-blow, and the plays of SHAKESPEARE vanished from the world for ever. Posterity has, indeed, cause to be grateful for such a happy release. About this time, also, the infamous MICHAEL ANGELO ceased to exist. He is now more generally known as the "Scourge of Italy," and is supposed to have been the greatest villain that ever modelled. In 1492 the existence of America had become so insupportable that a person called COLUMBUS was sent over for the purpose of concealing that enormous continent. This he performed so effectually that people, nowadays, no more believe in America than in Australia and other fabulous countries. The cause of barbarism received signal assistance from ATTILA, CHARLEMAGNE and PEPIN in France and Germany; while each successive king of England-from RICHARD THE THIRD to the good KING ARTHUR-contributed towards crushing out We can heartily recommend this book to the bench of bishops.* The fragrance dispensed by MR. RIMMEL'S shop in the Strand has long been most salutary in counteracting the ill effects of the odour-not to use a stronger term-of the peculiar "piety" which has its headquarters at Exeter Hall on the opposite side of the road. But by this volume MR. RIMMEL should enlist the support of all sound Churchmen by the pungency of its arguments against Dis-scent. The Dis-scenters will naturally be incensed, but will find they cannot turn up their noses with impunity at the reasoning of one who, though occasionally discursive, is always on the right scent. The manner in which the book is got up is worthy of the matter. The design for the cover by MR. ROGERS (for which he has drawn on ROGER'S Bank-of flowers) is extremely ingenious and artistic, and the numerous illustrations are apt and suggestive, while the leaves are essentially flower-leaves, being delicately scented. Thanks to this the reader, when he has regaled his eyes, can gratify his nose in the assurance that "a snuff's as good as a feast." A Fat-al Objection. THEY Say BANTING's been asked for some borough to stand, THE THREE WHICHES AND McBETH-ELL. (Dramatis Persona.-The LORD CHANCELLOR, MR. R. BETHELL, MR. WILDE.) WHICH was to blame? Which got the money? Which will be punished? A SOVEREIGN REMEDY FOR DESTITUTION.-Twenty shillings. The right reverend gentlemen must be careful not to confound with Ultramontanism the author's evident appreciation of Pot-poyrri. I AM а Houyhnhnm, and I love them all. I am mild, gentle, sensitive, and good. I am pure, high-spirited, honourable, and brave. There are few virtues which I do not possess; there is not a single vice with which I am polluted. I am little known in England. No one has visited my native shore since Captain Lemuel Gulliver, and he, though well-meaning, was not a creature of much ability. He had visited both Liliput and Brobdingnag; but neither pleased him. And why? Because in both he was the companion of beings intellectually superior to himself-of creatures to whose qualities he was blinded-in the one case by a ridiculous over-estimate of his own importance, a notion which the Liliputians good-naturedly humoured; and in the other case by an abject terror unworthy even of a mere two-legged man. Alas! alas! how common are these frailties, not only amongst the lower orders of vital organizations, such as apes and men, but even amongst those who have so much in common with the Houyhnhnms as the horse. Hnhnhnhnrsghnmm! Gna! Alas, for their follies and their weakness, these men! And yet is not their ambition to gaze upon the most beautiful models of quadrupedal form an encouraging symptom? Does it not show that they are conscious of their physical defects; and that, however vainly, they aspire towards a higher type? I wish that I could think so, for I love them all. Much do I fear, nevertheless, that it is not in a true spirit of humiliation they approach us. Those who seem most familiar with horses are not, unfortunately, of prepossessing aspect or of correct demeanour. How is this? One would have thought that by long and intimate association with beings so superior to themselves they would have gradually become elevated and refined. Perhaps they have; but if so, they hide the fact very cleverly. For do but look at their faces, that are full of a crafty cunning; do but mark their coarse and ugly features; do but listen to their foul and vulgar language; do but hearken to their rascally schemes of robbery and fraud; and thou shalt turn from them, with pity it is true, since after all they are merely human, but also with aversion and contempt. Oh, my Colt, my Colt, beware of the vices of man, beware lest even thy birth, exalted though it be, thy education, though I have conducted it myself, may not save thee from the follies and the faults of the lowest bipeds in the creation. Hnhnhnhnrsghnmm! Gna! Observe, my Colt, that thou must not regard them with disdain, simply because they are ill-shapen, have only two legs, and are inferior to thee in physical strength and speed; these alone would not be just grounds for scorn, but rather for affectionate compassion; their vices only are the reason why thou shouldst shun their society, except on 'days, and in a place like this, with thy friends and thy father by thy side. Oh, that thy mother had lived to see thee in thy frisky prime, my Colt! No sweeter, gentler being ever cropped the green and tender grass; none could race more swiftly along the level turf; and when she neighed the sound was melody. Hnhnhnhnrsghnmm! Gna! Irish-Heifers. "OUR own correspondent," writing from Dublin, in the Times last month, after referring to a great variety of startling facts, capped all with the following climax: Heifers which in 1842 sold for from £4 to £6 each, now bring £12, £15, or even £20." How is it that the animals which were heifers in 1842 remain heifers in 1865? They must be the offspring of Irish bulls. SCHOOLBOY PHILOSOPHY. WHY are tutors like a watch? Answer. They are always at work, keep regular hours, and have mortal small "screws." Printed by JUDD & GLASS, 80, Fleet Street, and Phoenix Works, St. Andrew's Hill, Doctors' Commons, and Published (for the Proprietors) by THOMAS BAKER, at 80, Fleet Street.-July 8, 1865. TOL. I. MAYBURY COLLEGE. WHEN TRAGEDY lays down dagger and cup When COMEDY, now so sprightly, Grows downright weary of holding up The mirror to nature nightly; One happy scene at the Drama's end- Is surely a thing that a man can spend His shilling or half-a-crown on. At the close of day, when the Hamlet's still, Seems rather to lie in a crawl down-hill Can we not pay for the smiles and tears In the range of Thespian labour. For this the haughty SIR J. L. TOOLE (Long life to His Royal Highness!) Will urge PAUL B.-who is home from schoolTo get the better of shyness. By way of amusing the darling child, He will, at a certain time, light The dear boy's countenance with a mild There we shall meet the kind of swell Who tries Aunt Sally, and makes a bow Then mutters, "I've always thought till now I Well, there certainly are in the present age People who can't acknowledge That anything good comes off the stageNot even a Maybury College. Yet a few of such simple truths atone For a great many painted faces, And it's not in the front of the house alone That Courage and Love book places! QUITE IN THE DARK. TO THE EDITOR OF "FUN." DEAR FUN,-You know everything! What does the following advertisement in last Sunday week's Era mean? WANTED, A PIANIST for a Free and Easy (a Blind Man preferred). If this should meet the eye of Mrs. M-, she may write, when she will hear of something to her advantage. Adress (sic.), Mr. W, No. 29, street, Blackburn. Why should a blind man be preferred? Is it to save the cost of music? Do the "free" of Blackburn play practical jokes on their faithful pianists, or do the "easy" pelt them with cigar ends? Then again how can Mrs. M. be a blind man ? and if she were, how could the advertisement meet her eye, except, indeed, it were cut out, made into a pellet, and thrown at her? Lastly, why does Mr. W spell address " adress?" and why[This was all the poor fellow wrote! He was found by his laundress next morning sitting on the floor in a state of hopeless imbecility, playing with two or three straws, and muttering some unintelligible nonsense about blind pianists. As the last effort of one of our most valued contributors, we commend it to the indulgence of our readers. Our esteemed contemporary should really be more careful in future as to the admission of advertisements, and not endanger the healthy condition of the minds of its readers in so reckless a manner.] A la Mode de Paris. AFTER the death of the DUKE DE MORNY the Duchess cut off her hair-which is, as we understand, a custom in some parts of Russia. Apropos a French journal says: "Widows who cut off their hair as an outward and visible sign of their inconsolability, symbolise, without intending it, the duration of their grief. The hairdresser does the rest." How chivalric the sentiment, and how delicate and well-timed the satire! And yet people think the French "of a politeness the most exquisite!" "INOPINATO MA(L)LO(W) TURBATI." WHY was the M.P. for Mallow on the 27th ultimo like a dissenter about to enter his conventicle ? Because he was walking into little BETHELL. MOTTO FOR THE MANAGER OF A MUSIC-HALL WHO HAS BEEN PROSECUTED BY MR. WIGAN.-"I have supped full of HORACE!" AUNTERING this week will be like becoming a guest at a fairy banquet. For that "Once a year," the Dramatic College Fete, we are allowed to pass the magic boundary which separates audiences and actors, and permitted for a short time to mingle with the clever men and lovely women who adorn the English stage. I always spend about twice my annual income at the bazaar, but I do not grudge it, for I feel I am indebted to far more than that amount to those delightful people who on this occasion consent to play the fool gracefully on behalf of the poor and aged and sick of their profession. I hope, therefore, next Saturday to meet the British public at Sydenham, and trust they will come down" handsomely in every sense. THE Chancellor has retired, and however much one may regret the loss of his great intellect to the Government of the country, and however much one may attribute the virtuous indignation on the part of the Opposition to mere party feeling, it is impossible not to admit that the disgrace is somewhat merited, if only on the ground of laxity and inattention. The keeper of the QUEEN'S Conscience should be like CAESAR'S wife, above the breath of suspicion. The conduct of the HONOURABLE() RICHARD BETHELL may have contributed largely to his father's downfall, but to what extent, one asks, is that conduct chargeable to faults of training? A father has more serious duties toward a son than the appointing him to lucrative offices. I MUST point out in connection with the scandal a circumstance which seems to me very suspicious indeed. LORD CHELMSFORD, in his haste to pelt mud at the fallen Chancellor, has a little bespattered his own official robes. A question about the granting of a pension to MR. WINSLOW by LORD WESTBURY was asked and answered-on the whole pretty correctly-in the House of Commons. The next night LORD CHELMSFORD rises in the House of Lords to explain away the explanation. It had been stated that he had not refused to recommend MR. WINSLOW for a pension, but his lordship was anxious to declare that he had done so, and not once only. So far so good! But this sternly inflexible Chancellor, retiring from the woolsack, does not scruple to write to his successor, urging MR. WINSLOW's claims for the very pension he himself had refused him. This looks like a premeditated attempt to get LORD WESTBURY into a scrape. If not that, at all events it proves that incorruptible Chancellors are not rarer on the Whig side than the Tory, though they may not always be found out until they forget to shield their reputations in their anxiety to stab that of an opponent. A VERY excellent process is this new "Wothlytype" photographic invention. It avoids the harsh hard lines and black shadows which spoil so many otherwise excellent likenesses taken by the old plan. A photograph of MR. SOTHERN as Brother Sam is lying before me at this moment, and speaks volumes in favour of Wothlytype. But we must have another name for the process if it is to be popular, as it is likely to be, I fancy, on account of its being specially adapted for reproducing the female face divine. The ladies have never been taken successfully yet, but they will be able to have their varying expressions caught now, without any of the exaggerations which too often libel them in the common carte de visite. THE magazines this month are suffering from the heat of the weather, I believe. Very few of them exhibit any sparkle, and some of them are very vapid indeed. But en revanche the last number of All the Year Round contains an article on "Duffers," which is irresistibly comic and clever. The "duffing author"- -a photograph for accuracy of portraiture-is excellent. Who of us does not know the writer-inmosaic, who is perpetually talking of "the burly Doctor," "the witty Dean of St. Paul's," and "Gentle Oliver," thus making a gentle livelihood out of quotations from well-known authors? This is the sort of gentleman who would pass for a genius if there were no such things as those plaguy inverted commas, and who, even in spite of them, passes for a decent cook, because he serves up his own morsel of tasteless beefsteak with so many sauces manufactured by other people, that one appreciates the flavour of the dish without attributing it to its proper sources. TEMPORA MUTANTUR. LETTERS, letters, letters, letters, Some that please and some that bore, Some that threaten prison fetters (Metaphorically, fetters, Such as bind insolvent debtors)- One from COGSON, WILES, and RAILER, One in FLAGG's disgusting hand. One from EPHRAIM and MOSES, Wanting tin without a doubt, I should like to pull their nosesTheir uncompromising noses; One from ALICE with the roses, Ah, I know what that's about! For the missives that she wrote. To be gladdened with a note. For a peerage duly gartered- But the time for that is over, And I wish we'd never met. Now I can accord precedence Want to know if he gives credence- Bills for carriages and horses, Bills for wine and light cigar, Matters that concern the ForcesNews that may affect the ForcesNews affecting my resources, Now unquestioned take the pas. With the words that seem to run And unopened it's remaining! Through the little envelope. "Double, Double, Toil and Trouble!" characteristics of colour. He says white signifies purity, blue fidelity, AN artist of some eminence has recently given his notions of the etc., etc., but appears to be in serious error in one point. He speaks of yellow as indicative of domestic trouble. We always thought black and blue stood for the domestic brews of trouble. Police Intelligence. WE understand that the active and intelligent myrmidons of S RICHARD MAYNE are about to apply for summonses against the managers of theatres for supplying the public with a drop between the acts without having a license. FROM OUR STALL. THROUGH fire and water, over hill over dale, through bush through briar, over park over pale, by cab and by rail, by patrician carriage and by reasonable omnibus, flocked MR. TOOLE's friends and admirers on the occasion of MR. ToOLE's benefit. After an Adelphi farce, which on account of its long services will perhaps always be retained upon the establishment-a new and original drama, not an original drama not adapted from the French, but an original original drama, was produced, in which MR. TOOLE played an honest fireman, named Joe Bright. The name of Bright was doubtless given to the hero on account of the helmet which adorns his brow; it by no means indicates the limpidity or lustre of his intellect, for a stupider fellow than Joe Bright never handled hose or rescued lovely woman in her night dress. Joe loves and is beloved by a charming girl, played and looked by MISS HENRIETTA SIMS, and though this charming girl (played by Miss HENRIETTA SIMs, reader, remember that), gives him every artless and innocent proof of her affection that she can, short of saying, "Joe, I love you! Accompany me to the sacred altar, where the clergyman shall make you mine, shall make me yours, and us ours, and both each other's;" Joe, the idiot, will not see it, but insists on snivelling and getting drunk, and dividing his day in alternate allotments of maudlin love and attempted assaults upon his sister. He understands fire-engines, but not the fair sex. But fortune favours Joe, because he is rough and has an honest heart. The girl he loves, whom he brought out of a burning house when a baby, and brought up in his own cottage to be a beautiful woman, turns out to be an heiress with large estates somewhere; and Joe is betrothed to her, and after the fall of the curtain may be supposed to marry her, and go and live in the country in a villa on his wife's property; and, now and then, to set fire to a cottage for the sake of playing on the flames with a portable engine, and so remind himself of old times. MR. TOOLE was stupid, honest, tipsified, blind, sentimental. He acted with a truth and effect that roused his audience to an enthusiasm incompatible, to our mind, with the present state of the thermometer. MR. BILLINGTON looked handsome, and played well as a musician in high spirits and pecuniary difficulties; and Miss HENRIETTA SIMS, as before mentioned, was a charming ingénue. As for Miss WOOLGAR-but it is impossible to describe Miss WOOLGAR except in Ruskinese, and Ruskinese can only be written by its inventor. Let us say, then, that her portrayal of Joe's cheery, positive, energetic, clear-headed sister, was perfect. The force of WOOLGAR could no farther go. It has often occurred to us that Miss WOOLGAR Would be good to eat; if not, why should she have changed her name to MELLON? There is a considerable amount of simplicity and reality in the plot and incidents of Through Fire and Water, and also a considerable amount of what is conventional and unnatural. MR. WALTER GORDON was quite right to make Ruth cling to Joe even when he is unworthy of her, for love, we know, is blind, and young ladies are apt to chose ineligible partners; neither can exception be taken to Joe's sister, who does not seem to doat on Mr. Kit Coventry, for Kit does not get drunk and snivel, but makes love like a man; all of which facts may be objectionable to Joe's sister, who is the sort of girl who loves hard and loves to find fault. When, however, the author has dowered Ruth with unexpected fortune, his bounty even to his own dramatis persone should stop. It was too much to make Kit and Ruth brother and sister. Sufficient for a play is the genealogy thereof; there was no necessity for uniting all the characters in the bonds of consanguinity. Ever since Mr. Box inquired of Mr. Cox whether he (Mr. Cox) had a strawberry mark upon his left arm, and Mr. Cox said that he had not, and Mr. Box said that that fact convinced him (Box) that he (Cox) was his (Box's) long-lost brother, it has been dangerous to find out too many relations on the stage. Besides, there, as elsewhere, relations are a bore. When the play was over the audience began to call, and the characters passed across the stage linked hand-in-hand, sausagefashion, if we may be allowed that uncomplimentary though savoury comparison; and then the author was called for, and he came and bowed. By the way, why should the author be called on last? The play is his, and not the actors. He invented it, or if he didn't, as Dundreary would say, "Some other fella did." If in the ELIZABETHIAN age, "calling" had been in fashion, can we imagine SHAKESPEARE trotting on after the representatives of his own creations, and bowing, delighted at being taken notice of among the actors? By the action of that law of compensation which governs all things, the termination of the civil war in America which takes from these isles and Astley's the famous MENKEN (if a tear should blot this page, please consider it a printer's error, and discharge the man), which takes from these isles and Astley's the famous MENKEN, gives to England and the Adelphi an American actor. MR. JOHN E. OWENS opened-green-roomatically speaking-in a something called a comic drama, entitled Solon Shingle. The piece is bencath notice, and it is to be regretted that MR. OWENS' talents should have been "damaged," by such a trumpery, ricketty vehicle as he elected to display them in. Solon Shingle, the character personated by MR. OWENS, is an old Yankee farmer, who pays a visit to an American village for the purpose of looking after a lawsuit, and while waiting with his team at the door of the house of a friend, has a barrel of "apple-sarce" stolen from his waggon. This is the foundation on which MR. OWENS has built up a character, or rather an idiosyncrasy, for we presume but is to be taken for an exceptional person. Solon Shingle is not to be looked on as a type of the American farmer, Solon is a very old man, seventy and upwards; he talks continually, which we understand to be an American habit; he "chews" continually, and he expectorates continually-two habits which, even when Cousin Jonathan shall have pocketed this country and annexed Ireland, will hardly become naturalised in polite society. Solon is a real free and enlightened citizen, active, restless, and inquiring. He wants to know, he does! In court he is not afraid, but reminds the judge of the time when his mother kept a tavern. Despite his senility he is shrewd and canny, despite his age he gesticulates with that galvanic sort of inappropriate action peculiar to the "cream of the airth." He is not easily put down, and has a high opinion of himself. He might be safely trusted in a drawing room full of ladies, for he would say nothing coarse or offensive. Profoundly practical in action, a more illogical talker could not be found, even on a philanthropic or political platform. He is "Uncle Sam with all his good heartedness and bad taste, his high national honour and low commercial morality. The highest compliment is paid to MR. OWENS by acknowledging his complete personal submersion in Mr. Solon Shingle, and by speaking of Mr. Solon Shingle as if he were a real existent person. It is a remarkable performance, humourous and broad, and, at the same time, as highly finished in every point of detail as a miniature. SELECTED ADDRESSES. FROM EXCLUSIVE SOURCES OF INFORMATION. No. 3.-TO THE ELECTORS OF FINSBURY. GENTLEMEN,-My views are so familiar to you that in again soliciting your suffrages I have little to explain and nothing to withdraw. The House of Commons has only had 137 sittings during the session; out of these I have attended 294, and on the other occasion I was ill in bed with diphtheria, cholera morbus, angina pectoris, and bile. will not allow anybody to play BRUTUS with my constituents. I am steadfastly opposed to any attempts at assassination; and I I consider that too much public money has been spent upon the National Portrait Gallery, a building which is of no value except historically; and surely every elector can form his own ideas of political persons, such as CHARLES JAMES PITT, PERKIN CADE, or TITUS GARRICK without going by omnibus all the way from Finsbury to Great George-street, Westminster. I am prepared, if re-elected, to vote for the abolition of most things. I am not at all certain that it would not be a good plan to give every operative two votes, so as to resist the encroachments of aristocracy. With regard to female suffrage, I am prepared to extend it to the honest-hearted daughter of toil, who goes out charing, or takes in washing; but I would sternly refuse it to the pampered duchess. Your humble servant and delegate to command, W. Cox. No. 4.-To THE ELECTORS OF DEVIZES. GENTLEMEN,-Strictly following out my well-known system of interrogatory politics, I write this address for the purpose of asking you a question. Are you disposed to return me once again as your representative in the Commons House of Parliament ? Should your answer be in the affirmative, I pledge myself to let not a single evening elapse without asking at least three questions of the Chancellor of the Exchequer, two of the First Lord of the Treasury, and another of the Secretary of State for the Home Department. A somewhat similar course of action was pursued by me during the greater part of the session which has now elapsed. If it has met with your approval, why should I fear the slanders of a venal and scurrilous press? Why should I not persevere in a path simply because I tread it alone? Why should I submit to be browbeaten by those whose only desire is to stifle the free expression of opinion in the bud, and to muzzle the independent tribunes of the people? Why need I say more? Does not this brief address convince you of the propriety of voting for Your grateful servant, DARBY GRIFFITH? |