OUR OWN ESOP.

FABLE 4.-THE DOG IN THE MANGER.

Ar the close of a bright autumnal day, just as the last rays of the declining luminary tipped the western hills with gold, a Dog might have been observed lying at full length in a manger. At the moment when our story commences, an Ox happened to enter the stable. "Pretty Ox," observed the Dog, "I wish I could induce you to come and lie down on this new-mown hay and tell sad stories of the deaths ef kings." "Now I call that very kind," replied the grateful Ox, "but as it appears to me painfully evident that your brain requires rest, I would cut off my right horn sooner than intrude upon you." And with a graceful bow he left the stable, shutting the door carefully

behind him.

MORAL.-Don't make a point of going to sleep in mangers, and read PINNOCK's Abridgement if you are anxious to get some notion of the deaths of kings.

FABLE 5.-THE ASS AND THE SICK LION,

The medical men said that it was bronchitis. I know better than the medical men, and I beg to assure the constant reader that it was nothing of the kind. Still this grand fact remains, the Lion was awfully indisposed. When the Ass was sent for to feel his pulse and prescribe for him, the affectionate creature left home in such a hurry that he actually forgot his stethoscope. There was only one way open to him, so he administered a terrific kick to his patient, not very far from the lumbar regions, "Does that hurt you ?" he enquired in his blandest professional tone. "What a brute this doctor must be," said a Fox who stood by. "As bad as the late ABERNETHY," acquiesced a Goose. But the Lion, with tears in his noble eyes, took out a golden

guinea and presented it to the Ass, saying, "Ah, doctor, if ever a man deserved his fee, by Jove you're the party."

MORAL.-Always patronise those physicians who give advice gratis to the poor, and ask any respectable anatomist where the lumbar regions are.

FABLE 6.-THE FROG AND THE OX.

"Shut up the box of puppets, my dear young friend, and let us all go home to bed. Which of us is happy, after all? What is life? Vanitas vanitatum!" Thus moralised a young and highly intellectual Frog, standing upon a delicious mud-bank, and sunning himself. Just at that moment there came by a bloated Ox. Now the frogs and the oxen have hated each other from time immemorial, which is about the only respect in which they resemble the Guelphs and the Ghibellines, or the Mohicans and the Hurons. "My eyes," exclaimed the Frog, who possessed an acute perception of the ridiculous, "there goes a figure! "Well, I can't help it if I am fat," replied the Ox, goaded (not literally, but metaphorically) into repartee; "I've looked everywhere for BANTING'S pamphlet, but alas! the booksellers tell me it's out of print." At this lamentable exhibition of imbecility and weakness the Frog set up such a roar that he literally split his poor dear sides, and expired in the flower of his age, leaving a wife and family to lament his loss.

MORAL.-Corpulence is no crime, but it is a failing, and the man who lays his hand upon a "Banting" (second-hand), save in the way of buying it, is a wretch it were gross flattery to call an alderman!

A STRANGE FACT.

DIAMONDS and other precious stones are of a peaceable nature, yet when placed in the earring they may be set by the ears.

MRS. BROWN'S VOTE SOLICITED. I'm sure the 'eat as I was in, and that grimed as any one might have took me for a sweep's good lady, thro' it bein' of a Friday, when I will have 'em, as is all very well with their rammeners, as they calls them, tho' nothing in my opinion like the boys, as could go into the corners, where it will lodge, as is dangerous and apt to ketch and bring the ingins on to you in no time, as is a heavy sum to pay, especial when prepared to swear as you've been swep' within six weeks, and I was a-saying to MRS. CHALLIN, as is a "ard-working woman, tho' not to be trusted with sperrits about, as I'd go and clean myself up a bit; "for," I says, "I never can fancy my meals, and take tea as I am, I couldn't was it ever so." I don't think as I'd hardly got my gown off afore I hears MRS. CHALLIN a-hollarin', as is that deaf as posts is nothing to it. So thinking as she was a-wanting to know how much milk as she should take, thro' hearing it a-comin' down the street, I puts my head over the bannisters for to say make it a pen'orth, when figure as I was there was two gentlemen a-standin' a-talking to MRS. CHALLIN, as kep' answerin' foolish thro' not a-hearin'.

So I says to myself, "P'raps it's the lawyers," as never will let us rest thro' BROWN's aunt, as was thought to have died intestines, tho' the will was quite safe in her corner drawers, tho' wrapped in a old handkercher.

I says to myself, "I shan't hurry for you," so give myself a good wash, and got my 'air on with a clean cap and apron, and down I goes, fully expecting them to have gone, as the saying is, when there they was a-setting like lambs. "Your pleasure, gentlemen," for I see as they wasn't lawyers' clerks by their ways, as was elegant; for up they gets and a-bowing, bending I may say,

So I says,

"Have we the pleasure to address MRS. BROWN?" says they. I says, "I am that party, at your service," for I knows how to address them as is on a spear above, thro' having lived in families as was so situated. So they says as the weather was fine, as I said it were, and they asks after MR. BROWN's health, "As," I says, "is not what I could wish, thro' a nasty cough, as he says is nothing, but just sich a one as my own grandfather carried to his grave with him, and always said it would be his end, as it turned out at eighty-six, and had troubled him nearly forty years; so I always says it did ought to be took in time, as horehound tea, with alicumpane powder, a bit of horseradish, and sweetened with treacle, softens the chest, and will often bring it away."

"And how is your 'ealth, MRS. BROWN, mum?" says the other, as was short, with red whiskers, thro' the other party being a fine man, with a expanding chest as would show a frill well.

"Why," I says, "I can't say much, tho' I keeps up, but often with a aching back, for stooping does try me a good deal, and I often feels if it wasn't for BROWN, as would miss me, I ain't much to live for." And so I tells the gentlemen, as smiled agreeable, and says, "MRS. BROWN, mum, you're in your prime."

I says, "Go along; I'm the grandmother of six."
Says they, "Never."

says, "I am."

Then says they, "You must a-married in your tins," as I didn't know what they meant.

At last the little chap with the red whiskers says, "Madam," he says, "we've called for to solicit MR. BROWN'S vote for this gentleman," and he hands me a card, as I couldn't read without my glasses. So I says, "Oh, indeed! Whatever wote does the gentleman require? I hope as nothing ain't happened to the beadle, as was the last as 'ad it, as fine looking a man as you'd see in a day's walk

a-standin' on them church steps, with his cock hat and beef-steak collar, as looked commandin' at the 'ead of them boys a-beatin' of the bounds, as the minister, though lusty, didn't look nothing aside of him, and them full parties is often gone to-day and here to-morrow, as the saying is." So it give me a turn when the gentleman talked

about BROWN's vote.

But he says, a-smilin' benign, "No, mum," he says, "it are not parochial, but," he says, "parliamentary, thro' MR. BROWN 'aving of property in the Tower Hamlicks."

I

I says, "Of course the QUEEN did ought to be looked after proper, as is a-getting on now, thro' being the grandmother of eight, as I see in the paper, tho' that's nothing, for I've six, as I said myself; but," shouldn't look as we do; for when BROWN is cleaned up a bit you'd says, as to our constitutions, they're remarkable good, or we guess him ten years younger than what he is." So I says, "We don't want no one a-looking after our constitutions, a-poking their noses into families, as is what I calls interference." So the gentleman says, "Don't you wish for to see Church and State kep' up?"

Well," I says, "I thinks there's some as keeps up too much state; for," I says, "there's MRS. GRAYLINGS, as keeps the ile shop at the corner, to see her go to church of a Sunday morning you'd think as and a pink bonnet, with a nose like a beetroot; and as to him he's she was the queen, and a wulgar squat figger for a green satin gownd downright ridiculous, a head and shoulders shorter nor her, a punchy figger, as a blue coat and metal buttons don't set off, and as plain a family as ever you see, and the eldest daughter married quite miserable; tho' I knows what would make them drop their heads a little; and suppose he is churchwarden, what o' that? there can't be no occasion for them stately ways," So I says, "None of your Church and State for me."

"Then," says the gentleman, "we may reckon on MR. BROWN being Liberal."

"Well,” I says, "that depends." I says, "It's as much as people can do now-a-days to pay their ways, let alone being liberal, for I'm sure the price as things is quite takes away your breath.” So says the gentlemen, "We hope to relieve the burdens of the working-man." I says, 66 working-man 'ad better look after his-self. It's all very fine to come That's right, that is; but," I says, "in my opinion the a-talking about working people bein' looked after." I says, "You're precious careful of the working-man, you are; you're afraid of his getting a drop of beer of a Sunday night, when I'm sure we come in famishing from Chigwell, and it only just struck eleven as we turned the corner, thro' bein' a good drive, and there we was done out of our if it ain't fetched home afore half-past one the baker mustn't give it, beer; and then we mustn't have a bit of dinner baked of Sunday; that bit of meat all the week, as was kep' late at church thro' a bishop as 'appened to poor MRS. GIDDINGS, as had starved and slaved to get a-preachin', as she took all the children to hear, and come home too late for to get her dinner out, thro' the baker bein' fined the week afore, as was left a-starvin' with seven on 'em, and the bit of meat with a puddin' under reglar sp'ilt by Monday mornin' when she got it."

"Now," I says, "you leave the working-man alone, and let him do as he likes, and if he does wrong there's the police as'll make it all square. However would you like for a lot of working-men to interfere with your goings-on, and talk about improving of you, as I'm sure needs it with your divorce courts, as is a disgrace."

So says one of the gentlemen, “Mum, you did ought to be in Parliament yourself."

I seed he was a jeering, as put me out, so I says, "If I was I'd pretty soon set some on 'em to rights."

So the little chap with the red whiskers gives the other a nudge, and then they both laughs, tho' a-trying to keep it under, as I'd ketched em at it afore. So I says, "Redicule is all very fine, and I dessay as you're mighty fine in your Parliaments; but," I says, "don't come here a-talking and a-sniggering and a-grinning at me,' I says, a taking up my time," as was downright a starving for my tea.

"Excuse me," says the tall gentleman, "but really you have been a-talking that fast, MRS. BROWN, as we haven't had a chance of saying a word; but," he says, "you'll tell MR. BROWN as he'll hear from the candidate more fully.'

So the gentleman he says, "As he hadn't no wish for to dictate to BROWN about giving his vote, but that if we wanted all manner, as this was the party as would do what is right by your QUEEN and constitution, as he was anxious to preserve."

A FATHER-IN-LAW.

WHAT is the legal relation in which a tenant stands to his landlord? In loco pay-rent-is.

pantelettes had neverentered their heads,() and they never dreamt of having any rights, and as for writing, with a very few exceptions, they would

as soon have thought of flying. As for "publishing novels with all sorts of bad language (3) in them, as is done by young women nowadays, they never in their most hysterical moments behaved

in such a silly way as that. But I don't so much mind their writing, because not being a literary man myself (4) I don't suffer by their scribbling nonsense cheap, and underselling me. But I'm a man of business and as such my time is precious. I spend a good deal of my time and also of my money in cabs, (5) and as a rule prefer Hansoms as more comfortable and rapid than the hearses-for-three usually known as "four-wheelers."(6)

There was a time, sir, when we men had the exclusive enjoyment (7) of Hansoms. But such is the enterprising nature of the female mind in these days that some audacious woman actually made the discovery that they are more pleasant and expeditious than the common cab. And what is the result ?(8) A few years ago no lady would be seen in a Hansom, and now you may walk for miles (9) on the look-out for an empty one (1) to go to business in without getting it, and I'll bet every other one you meet is engaged by a lady or ladies. (1) By Jove, sir, it's too bad. It was only yesterday that I met my sister and her eldest daughter in one.(1) I've struck that girl out of my will! "Cut her off with a shilling"-not a bit of it; why, she'd go and have a two-mile drive in a Hansom with the money at once, out of disrespect for my memory.(12)

Yours indignantly,

A FURIOUS FOGEY.

A LADY writes to us very indignantly about the reported strike at Marseilles, where about six thousand bachelors have pledged themselves to renounce matrimony until the local damsels renounce expensive ways in dress. Our correspondent says that nothing better might be expected of wretches who are noted for their Ma-sales: those who could sell their mothers are not likely to have any domestic tastes. [N.B. We insert this to oblige the lady, but must be allowed to draw the line: a man of domestic tastes might very excusably feel a desire to sell a ma-in-law.]

MY COUNTRY COUSIN.

I HAD an aunt who, strange to say,
Made me her heir while in my cradle,
The old wretch died the other day,

And left me but a silver ladle;
I had an uncle did the same,

I've poor relations by the dozen,
None wrought me woe like my old flame,
JEMIMA BLOGG-my country cousin!
'Twas pleasant in that rural place-

Her father is a Yorkshire farmer-
To pet and praise JEMIMA's face-

A cousin's kisses couldn't harm her.
But when MISS RAYMOND was my star,
My hopes to gain her love were undone;
JEMIMA's presence all would mar-

The girl was coming up to London!
She wrote she'd come to see mamma
(Mamma was always such a silly),
Said she delighted in papa,

And doated on her cousin WILLY;
I read the letter o'er with sighs,
Stifled a naughty exclamation,
Thought of MISS RAYMOND's angry eyes,
And all the coming botheration!

She came, and my disgust increased,

She brought huge boxes canvas-covered,
As if to stay a year at least,

And 'mid them like a vampire hovered.
'Tis well, thought I, my father thinks
Marriage 'twixt cousins isn't lawful;
So I returned her nods and winks-
But, oh, her dress was really awful!

Of course I had to take her out

Oh, dear, the work was very wearyTo opera, and ball, and rout,

SOTHERN as "Brother to Dundreary"She'd never been to town before

All the stock sights, she wished to see 'em ; Ye gods! one day JEMIMA bore

Me off to visit the Museum!

To morning concerts, Monday Pops,

To Hampton Court, and far Kew Gardens, The Crystal Palace, fifty shops

(It's really curious how one hardens) She took me 'till I grew so thin,

The vital power was wholly wanting; Friends said, with a malicious grin,

"Why, WILLY, you've been trying BANTING!"

So things went on until one morn

I went-oh, most unhappy mortal

To the Academy-with scorn

There stood MISS RAYMOND in the portal,

She scanned us both from top to toe,

It made my very blood run colder, Then calmly turned away to go,

An unmistakeable cold shoulder!

I gasped, I groaned, I rushed away,
I left JEMIMA wildly staring,

I kept my bed for many a day,
Degraded, done for, and despairing;
MISS RAYMOND married-woe is me!-
A low-church parson, stout and slimy.
When dead my epitaph will be,
"Per artes obiit JEMIMA!"

A Violin-sell (oh !)

A STORY comes from Munich about a ghostly service supposed to have been held in the Protestant Church there one night. It turned out to the disappointment of the spiritualists to be a couple of students who had been sitting in their room, which abutted on one end of the church, drinking beer and singing, "Fidele Lieder" all night. In answer to numerous enquiries we beg to state that "Fidele Lieder" does not mean "First Fiddle."