OMETIMES very small event grows to importance with a rapidity that puts PHARAOH's serpents to the blush. Such was the case of the Dorset hurdle. Little did its maker imagine as he twined the withes that it would presently fill the columns of papers, and drain the pockets of the benevolent. I was in hopes poor CROSS, after a long life of very hard work would be bodies have been allowed to live quietly on an annuity, but some busy interfering, and the clergyman who undertook to look after the fund has thrown up the charge-and I don't wonder at it! That interesting paper The Pall Mall Gazette, which it appears is as well posted up on agricultural economics as it is in information from the highest sources, indulges in a little smart writing on the subject. It comments on the statement made at some meeting in Manchester, that "in twenty-four years CROSS had walked 30,000 miles to and from the farm on which he worked." "Well," says Blood and Culture "Thirty thousand miles in 24 years is as nearly as possible four miles a day-six days per week. Is there anything astonishing in such a performance? Or rather is it not considerably under that performed by thousands of labourers throughout the country, who never dream of advancing the fact as a proof of their ill-treatment?" Very likely; but when did CROSS advance it? It may not be hard work for the aristocrats who write for The Pall Mall to stroll (when the brougham is otherwise engaged) to the office; but it is a tax on a labourer to have to add a daily four mile walk to his daily hours of hard work; and the fact that thousands of labourers have to do this does not make the hardship any the less for CROSS. "But," continues Blood and Culture (I mean the sham Blood and Culture of professional journalism. The real Blood and Culture is not ignorant on these points): "But the sympathy for John Cross is mainly based on the fact of his never having had less than nine in family for thirty years. He had 12 children by his first wife; she and four of the children died; and Cross, with eight children, married a young widow with five, to whom she added seven. And then follows the curious statement that Cross had even received a prize from an agricultural society for having reared so many children without parochial relief. The house' in which this happy family resided for 20 years is described as one without a fire-grate, and the floor as being of bare earth. Yet into this hovel John Cross with eight children took a wife with five more to 'live' on 8s. a week! However, his virtue and his forethought have been compensated by a subscription amounting to some £300." Any one who knows anything of the agricultural labourer's condition knows that such a man, left a widower with children, must marry again to get a mother for the bairns-just as a widow with children must strive to find a second bread-winner. It is not a matter of sentiment but of necessity, and it was just because he had so many children that CROSs probably had to marry a widow whose large family, in the same way, ferbad her a better chance. That under such necessities and with such drawbacks JOHN CROSS should have brought up his children in such a hovel so many years without parochial aid is worthy of something better than the sneer of a shallow and ignorant scribbler in a smart but ill-informed paper. A FEW nights since I went to the Agricultural Hall, to see the ournament, and very much pleased I was. There is some capital horse-riding, some feats of tumbling and balancing I have never seen equalled, and some clever comic business. The entry of the procession is a very grand sight, the armour and costumes being of a superior character, and the grouping most effective. One great advantage about the exhibition is, that it is over at an early hour, so that visitors find no difficulty in getting home, no matter how far they have to go. I must add just one word of praise for the illuminations: the chandelier is a noble one. APROPOS of illuminations, why has the Strand Theatre put up a Prince of Wales's feather over the entrance? It is quite a recent addition, having been erected since the opening of the little theatre in Tottenham-street, and under the circumstances good taste would have selected some other ornament. There is no fear, of course, of a country cousin straying into the Strand and mistaking it for the Prince of Wales's, for the country-est of cousins would know better than take the one performance for the other. I HAVE received a new magazine, the Edinburgh University Magazine, of which I can give no opinion; for when I opened it I was frightened off by two wretched things described as illustrations, on the strength of which the magazine is stated on the title-page to be illustrated, but which a hap-hazard selection from the wastepaper basket of No. 80, Fleet-street, would easily eclipse. Vestigia Nulla Retrorsum. COME! pour out another glass, my boy! Or think the world is filled with lies, I know you adore, but fret no more, "Twill be time to sigh when you're forty-fourYou must sing when you're twenty-five! And wherefore think AMINA fair? Joy evermore your dreams restore, "Twill be time to long when you're forty-four, You can love when you're twenty-five! I'll pledge you a bumper-toast, my boy! Up, then, and mount, come breast the hill, And then of the breezes drink your fill, SCHOOLMASTER'S ENGLISH. A FEW weeks since we drew attention to a curious scholastic and unscholarly advertisement of a school in Devon. We have since come a curious instance of similar elegance of composition nearer home:A Gentlemanly RESIDENCE WANTED, at Lady-day, within two hours of London by a southern railway, with about 10 acres of grass land for the purpose of taking pupils. The house to contain not less than four sitting and eight bedrooms, besides servants' rooms. Apply to Rev. J. A. W-, etc. I HAVE received this month's number of The Lifeboat. The boats of the Society have saved 444 lives during the last year-about thirty-on seven a month. Surely such an institution should not ask in vain for funds. The recent storms that have ravaged our shores and strewed the coast with wrecks, plead with awful voices the cause of this noble association, which has enormous expenses to meet. The recent accident at the Lizard, when the lifeboat was lost through neglect of the precautions laid down by the society, has drawn attention to the oars of these boats, and no doubt great expense will be incurred in the attempt to provide the best materials for them and to guard against their loss, so that subscriptions will be more than ordinarily welcome at 14, John Street, Adelphi. What sort of pupils does the reverend gentleman contemplate? He might educate a good many young donkeys on ten acres of grass land. NOX ERAT! ON what night should the Champion be born? On Boxing-night, to be sure! NELLIE.-Farewell, Ralph. [Exit SIR M. [Exeunt at opposite entrances. Enter PAUL WARRINGTON. PAUL.-My brother is to fight a duel with Sir Marmaduke. But as I am his brother, also, it is my duty to fight it for him. Enter SIR MARMADUKE from the Manor House. SIR M.-Ha, Paul, here? Tis well! Tis passing well (calling, to some one within the house). Good-bye. PAUL.-He said good-bye! Then he must have been in Nellie's chamber. She is clearly false to my brother, so it is clearly my duty to fight Sir Marmaduke. (To Sir Marmaduke). Fight! SIR M.-Yes. PAUL.-I die! [They fight, and PAUL is wounded. SIR M.-Is the deed done? PAUL-It is, she is dead. SCENE.-Room in Baster Weldod's house. Enter BASTER W. BASTER W.-How beautiful is truth! Enter A GIPSY, with a beard from his forehead downwards. GIPSY.-Good morrow! BASTER W.-What would you? If it is charity, take all I have. GIPSY. It is not charity. Behold! [Takes off his beard and turns out to be Paul Warrington. BASTER W.-Ah, Paul! So you are dot dead! PAUL.-No. But I want revenge on Sir Marmaduke. Will you assist me? BASTER W.-What, assist you to wreak a vedgeadce on by oldest fred? Certaidly, with pleasure. But, soft, he cubs! Enter SIR MARMADUKE. SIR M.-I want a tool to aid me in my nefarious schemes. [Points to Paul. SIR M.-Tis well, but no matter. (To Paul.) Help me to carry off all the ladies in the country, to murder everyone who thwarts me, and to set fire to all the manor houses in the neighbourhood. PAUL. I will. But first sign a paper confessing that you are the guilty instigator of these bloody deeds. SIR M.-I will. I will risk it. No harm can possibly come of it. (Signs confession and gives it to Paul.) 'Tis well-but no-oh, dear no -no matter! Enter COMIC SERVANT. COMIC S.-Oh my delicate sensibilities! Somebody please kick me. (Somebody kicks him.) Oh my delicate sensibilities. [Exit COMIC SERVANT. SIR M.-Ha! No matter, but soft! 'Tis well. Enter RALPH. RALPH (surprised).—Sir Marmaduke? You here? In your own house? SIR M.-Aye, but no matter, coward! SIR M.-Paltry coward, I despise ye! SIR M.-Then fight me. RALPH.-I will not, for I am no coward! Ralph Warrington may submit to every indignity that you can heap upon him without a murmur, for did you not kill his brother? But he is no coward. [Bxit very quickly. Enter COMIC SERVANT. COMIC S.-Oh my delicate sensibilities! Please somebody kick me. (Somebody kicks him.) Oh my delicate sensibilities. [Exit COMIC SERVANT. SCENE 3.-The Manor House. FARMER BLUNT, ALICE, and RALPH discoursing. Enter SIR MARMADUKE. SIR M.--I have made arrangements for the death of everybody in the piece, except the Gipsy,-now to settle him. FARMER.-What would you, sir? SIR M.-The Gipsy is going to set fire to the Manor House. PAUL.-Yes, but he instigated me-see here is his confession. [Produces confession. It is signed "Paul War PAUL.-Confusion! In the hurry of the moment I quite forgot that he ought to have signed his own name instead of mine. [They all fire pistols at each other, which miss fire. And if our kind friends in front will only signify their approbation, there will not be a happier wedding party in all England than NELLIE'S TRIALS. Mazeppa:-"Now, JUST YOU BANG THAT 'BUS DOOR SMARTER TO-NIGHT, OR THE OLD HOSS'LL NEVER GET A GOOD START." Carpenter:-"ALL RIGHT, MISS. CUE'S "WILD CAREER." POLICE! POLICE! Really this is awful. Here we have a man who trembles lest he should ever be a murderer! So far from the awful spectacle acting as a clencher to his sense of the impropriety of committing a murder, it appears to have suggested the idea to him! "It was the shame, the dread of old friends seeing me on the scaffold," that's all! If this consideration alone stands between M. (Murderer ?) and murder, M. surely ought to be looked after. Then the concluding sentence-"Take away publicity and half the terror is gone," why it amounts to a threat that if executions are conducted privately M. will immediately proceed to satisfy his unnatural passion for blood! Surely, surely, this is a case for investigation. [N.B.-The noble steed is an old "Favourite." GOOD NEWS FOR EXETER HALL. Ir will no doubt greatly delight the negrophilists to learn that EARL RUSSELL has once again admitted the great principle that a black man is as good as a white man and a great deal better. In deference to the obvious wish of the Exeter Hall party that coloured people should be allowed to do as they like with white folks, the Prime Minister has decided that no further steps need be taken to rescue the Abyssinian prisoners. His lordship is evidently anxious to blacken himself as much as possible out of regard for the negrophilists. The Latest Edition. A FASHIONABLE contemporary supplies us with the following bit of intelligence : "At a recent masked ball in Norwich a young lady was completely dressed in newspapers." Of course she struck off a large impression, all the gentlemen present being impressed with the idea that the paper duty-to fall in love with her-was re-imposed. We wonder whether dancing increased her circulation, and whether her leaders were the leaders of fashion. course she could not object to having her hand squeezed as an act of homage to the press. Wanted a Discharge. Of A CONTEMPORARY opens a grave article on explosives with the fol lowing words: "We have had a committee sitting for several years on Gun Cotton." " Well, all we can say is that, considering the material, we wonder they haven't long ago furnished a report. THEATRICAL NOTE. THE pantomime at the Standard Theatre is worked by steam power, and is therefore a complete "succès d'é-steam." |