TOWN TALK. BY THE SAUNTERER IN SOCIETY. HERE seems promise of a lively session. LORD RUSSEL has pledged himself and the Government to stand or fall by the Reform Bill they intend to introduce, so we may expect a good fight on that. Should Jamaica tell against him, as I fancy it will, he will probably be beaten, and the Tories will come in, and then we shall be sure to have a lot of Liberal measures passed. The little whispers about the Budget are very cheerful-let us hope, at all events, that that will become an accomplished fact before the' Ministry is beaten. BRAVO, little Chili! Spain has had a warmer from the Chilians that will make her cry "Pickles!" The Esmeralda, CAPTAIN WILLIAMS-the name sounds English-has captured one of ADMIRAL PAREJA'S ships in the most brilliant manner. With its disturbances at home and its reverses abroad, the Land of Hidalgos must be rather gloomy at present. It is very evident that the British leader-writer knows very little about Spanish politics. A rebellion has been going on for a week or ten days, at this present writing, in a large European State but not a paper has devoted a leaded column of leader to it. A few half-terrified allusions have escaped some organs, but it looks very much as if journalism were not posted up in the delicate state of Spanish affairs-and it is really a funny business, for the Queen has refused to sign a sort of proclamation of outlawry against PRIM, who is actually in arms against her Government. I MUST say that I am disgusted with the Court Martial on the Captain of the Bulldog. I have often said that these Courts consist of old noodles, but I hoped they were superannuated English soldiers or sailors; but this particular one must have consisted of old women from the Admiralty. The high praise bestowed on some of the officers, while others, who deserved the highest honour, as they had the greatest risks to undergo, were excluded, is most unfair. I hope, if the Captain be dismissed the ship,-I can hardly believe the sentence will be confirmed that the public will let him understand clearly that the verdict of a body more incapable, if possible, than a jury-say the jury in the HILL. FINNEY case-does not injure him in the eyes of his country. THE Trustees of the PEABODY Fund have issued a neat little pamphlet detailing the course they have taken in the disposal of the money entrusted to them for the poor. I quite approve of their having given their chief attention to the struggling poor-the class a step above the pauper-but I cannot help thinking they might, with the large sum they administer, do something for the latter. Then, again, I fancy, the rent they ask for their rooms, however superior they may be, is a little too high. But they have done a great deal, and though they seem to run too much in one groove, can make out a good case. They appeal at the close of the pamphlet against Poor Rates and such levies, but so long as they do not directly aid the pauper I don't well see how they can claim exemption. THE father of English draughtsmen, the successor, as well as the friend and pupil, of BEWICK-WILLIAM HARVEY, died at Richmond on Saturday week, and was buried last Thursday, in the cemetery at the same hour and on the same day that his old co-labourer, SIR CHARLES EASTLAKE, was consigned to English earth. WILLIAM HARVEY had reached the ripe age of seventy, and had seen the art, which he some years since handed over to his admirers and imitators to promote, reach a position that he could have little expected in the days when he learnt engraving under quaint THOMAS BEWICK, at Newcastle on Tyne, the place of his birth. Of course everybody is talking of the Pall Mall's amateur-casual. I consider the articles clever, but the good they can do (always excluding the increase of that paper's circulation) is slight, when compared with the unnecessary horrors inflicted on the sensitive reader, who is not accountable for the evil, and powerless to remedy it. I must say that there are some things in the articles that only a man who could go through the mutton-broth-bath ordeal would have had the taste to write. The mention of the brougham, too, was in bad taste-it was as if the writer had not been accustomed to a brougham, less accustomed to that than a casual ward almost, from the importance he gave to it. THE absurdity of the testimonial mania has never been more amusingly and yet gravely exposed than in the report in a country paper of the presentation of a silver snuff-box to a MR. JOHN SMAIL, of Galashiels, by the operatives of that town-and for what, think you? For his "straightforward and resolute conduct in refusing to remove his pig-stye when it, with others, was ordered to be taken away by the burgh inspector." Of course there was great speechifying at the presentation, and the chairman, "after alluding to the momentous circumstances which had called forth such a demonstration of esteem," "Pointed out the independent and firm attitude assumed by Mr. Smail, gave it as his opinion that Mr. Smail had conferred a benefit on the inhabitants which could hardly be over-estimated, and concluded by presenting him with the magnificent snuff-box. The box was of solid silver, beautifully wrought, and bore upon the lid the appropriate and suggestive inscription-Presented to Mr. Smail from the operatives of Galashiels; 1865.'" The inscription might have been appropriate, but I see no suggestiveness in it-not a hint of pig-stye. The report continues: "In the course of a feeling reply, Mr. Smail said it was with difficulty he could bring himself to believe that any slight efforts he had made to defend the rights of the people of the town to keep pig-sties could entitle him to such a touching and valuable mark of their regard." Isn't this funny? I shall never hereafter read of a testimonial to any one for "benefits which can hardly be over-estimated," without thinking of a pig-stye. A BALLAD OF THE GOOD OLD TIMES. SIR GALLIMAFRAY was a gallant knight In feats of daring his sole delight In search of adventure fared he forth He wandered South, he wandered North, He slew the Knight of the Golden Crest, A knight some coin demands). Oh, he was a hero stout and bold, In the good KING ARTHUR'S days; And when he died, he was sorely wept, And there he lies, with his crossed legs, Faute de Quoi! Ir appears there is a new system of duelling in France. The two principals write their names on slips of paper, which are folded and thrown into a hat. He whose name is drawn from the hat first is called on to blow out his brains at the expiration of a certain pre-arranged period. This is a really excellent plan. The man who would consent to adopt the system might be allowed to try and blow out his brains with impunity. A FRENCH TRIP. BODGERS, who reads his fashionable intelligence regularly, wants to know whether "Le Legs" of MARIVAUX, mentioned in the Court Journal as having been performed recently at the Tuileries before the QUEEN OF PORTUGAL, is a ballet. WHY is the Rinderpest like a mouse? Because the cat'll catch it. OUR LIBRARY TABLE. WE opened The Masonic Press with something like a feeling of awe, not being initiated ourselves into a craft which is as distinguished for mystery as it is for brotherly love and unity. The first thing we came on was a green slip of paper with a cryptogram so transparent that any reader of the puzzle-pages of a juvenile magazine could decipher it in half a minute. The opening article is entitled "Number One "-rather an odd title for the organ of a society which professes to decry selfishness. The next article, "Live and Let Live," is still more singular. It describes how BROTHER A. tried to cheat BROTHER B., and how they went to law, and then to a compromise; and how one Brother gave the other Brother promissory notes, and didn't meet them, and was sold up: further, how one Brother being about to start The Masonic Press, the other Brother sets his lawyer, BROTHER C. HORSLEY (described as 30°, but it is not stated whether of latitude or longitude), at him, and how writs and threats and bad spirit are flying about among the members of this most fraternal body. Why even the printer is WARR! CONTINUATIONS OF DRAMATIC HISTORIES. THE HONEYMOON. THE DUKE OF ARANZA paid dearly, indeed, for his idiotic scheme. His friends had long suspected his sanity, and his concluding act of folly in pretending to his beautiful and high-minded wife that he was only a poor rustic, and that his title was an empty assumption, confirmed them in their suspicions. If anything were still wanting to prove that the unfortunate Duke was a drivelling idiot, it would be found in the fact that he selected the most preposterous servant in his household to represent him during his seclusion with JULIANA. His excellent wife bore with his eccentricities as long as she was able, but eventually she found herself compelled to get a lunacy commission to sit upon the unfortunate man, and he was formally declared incapable of taking care of his affairs. He did not long survive the deprivation of his liberty, but died at an early age in an obscure lunatic asylum, a hopeless idiot. JULIANA, his excellent wife, was not guilty of the hypocrisy of pretending to grieve very seriously for the loss of a husband who had played so contemptible a trick on her. Within three months of his death she was quoted as the merriest widow in all Madrid, and at the expiration of six months she gave her hand and heart to her husband's old dependant, the faithful and intelligent JACQUES, who, in consideration of the aptitude he had shown in the temporary discharge of the Duke's duties, had been created Duke of Aranza. They lived long and happily together, and had many children. When we had finished this paper we thought that at last we should come to smooth sailing-but not a bit of it. There follows a letter on "Masonic Reform," which is very warm on the topic; speaks of discontent, and fierce denunciations a lusus natura (sic) and a dead donkey-which our readers will admit is strong language. Presently we come to an article on "Conservatism in Freemasonry," where we read about "upholders of Fogeydom and Radicals." Then there is a space alloted for "Correspondence," in which the Editor is evidently prepared for such fierce controversies that he takes great pains to ex-wearying tirades against women at large. No man who knew anyplain that he is not responsible for what occurs between corresponding brothers. By and by we have a bit of verse, described as poetry, in which an attack is made on the Masons of a certain district because they won't allow smoking in their Hall; and lastly, in "Notices to Correspondents," we find the Editor defying the thunder: "P.M. and Sec.-The report of your lodge meeting having appeared in a local newspaper, shall, if you will send us a copy of the paper, be transferred to the announcement which was sent us anonymously-perhaps as a trap-for the purpose of giving the official you mention an opportunity to put his threat into execution, of having us expelled from the craft,' if we dared, even, to reprint what had appeared in any paper." columns of THE MASONIC PRESS. We have in this number inserted one such Altogether, from beginning to end, we find nothing but wrangling and litigation, which are anything but creditable to a brotherhood professing love and unity. A glance at the wrapper informs us that the editor is "P. M. 300." To our unenlightened mind this would seem to mean that he is something after noon, in which case he ought to know the time of day better than to expose the weaknesses and squabbles of the craft to the sneers of the uninitiated. We have received the third volume of the Autographic Mirror, for which a far more handy form has been adopted than was selected for the earlier volumes. The book is excellently turned out, and will form an ornament for the drawing-room table, where it may be opened to beguile the leisure minutes of a morning caller-or it can hold its place in the library, where it will be studied as it deserves to be. Very little falling off is observable-indeed, there are some autographs in the volume more curious and valuable, perhaps, than any in the previous ones; but in one or two cases the editor has not been stern enough to prevent third and fourth-rate celebrities from getting little puffs of themselves, by the loan (from their "collections") of letters addressed to them by other third and fourth-rate celebrities. The work is such a noble one, and has been so admirably managed, that we feel sure when this is pointed out it will not occur again. If small people want to get notoriety by publishing their private correspondence, they should be allowed to do so, at the usual charge, in the advertisement pages of the Mirror, which would be cut off in the binding. The Frog's Parish Clerk (Low and MARSTON) is an amusing fable for young and old-with some exquisite illustrations by a German artist. There are a great many vulgar errors evidently running about in the world touching "King Log and King Stork," and "The Frog that would a-wooing go." These MR. ARCHER has taken the greatest pains to point out, and he has laid the real facts of the case clearly before his readers in a manner which completely rehabilitates the frog-race in general, and Rowley in particular. History is full of misrepresentations which need the labour MR. ARCHER has bestowed on natural history, and his book may therefore be placed in the hands of our children to teach them not to give too ready a credence to the accounts of biassed chroniclers. They will learn to balance facts, and to refrain from condemning even a Rowley as a disobedient child until they hear both sides of the story. In marrying ZAMORA, ROLANDO was severely punished for his thing at all about women would have been such a fool as to marry a forward girl, who, unknown to him, and disguised in male attire, had followed him to the wars as his serving lad. Such a young lady must necessarily have become much too familiar with barrack-room conversation and habits to have made a modest and ladylike wife, and in marrying ZAMORA, CAPTAIN ROLANDO married one of the most boldfaced and unblushing young minxes of that or any other time. She soon appeared in her true colours. Her taste for masquerading never left her, and there was not a bal masqué in all Madrid at which she was not a conspicuous figure. This gave ROLANDO much pain, and for many months his life became a burthen to him. At length, however, she eloped with LOPEZ, and eventually became known as a suc cessful sensation novelist. That cowardly sneak, the CoUNT MONTALBAN, whose disgraceful dodges to get at his love's opinion of him must stamp him with the contumely of every right-thinking man or woman, never lived happily with his cunning wife VOLANTE. A woman who could be meanspirited enough to marry a man whom she had discovered firstly in the disguise of a monk who had come to confess her, and subsequently it under the impression that she was alone, was not the sort of woman in ambush behind his own picture in order to hear her apostrophize who would be likely to make a valuable wife. In point of fact she only married COUNT MONTALBAN for his title, and he married her for her money. He became very suspicious of her, and was perpetually engaged in laying traps to detect her in some act of backsliding. Eventually he was killed by an indignant hidalgo who had discovered him in the act of listening at a keyhole, while he (the hidalgo) was engaged in conversation with VOLANTE. variably cut out of all the acting editions. He made this grievance the LAMPEDO, the apothecary, never got over his annoyance at being insubject of a petition to the local Lord Chamberlain, representing that by his repeated excision he lost a most valuable advertisement. However the Lord Chamberlain refused to interfere, so he emigrated to Italy, and in defiance of all chronology, was the very apothecary who eventually supplied Romeo with his deadly draught. THROBBINGS OF THE HEART. I WOULD I were a fish, That I might swim to thee; That you'll remember me? I'd gently close my petals-no, my pedals- If I were King of France, I would not wish to be the Pope, I would I were a boy again, Oh, breathe on it softly, Old Foozle :-"NOTHING LIKE ATHLETIC SPORTS, MY DEAR BOY. I ALWAYS MAKE A POINT OF GOING UPSTAIRS LIKE THIS!" THE CABMAN'S CHILD. A VERY PRETTY LITTLE BALLAD. "MOTHER-Oh! mother-you're pale with fear! You have wept and watched, but he comes not yet, "Courage-oh! courage-ADOLPHUS, dear, "Mother-oh! mother," ADOLPHUS cried, "Perchance my father has four inside, And a cabman loveth an extra fare, For 'tis sixpence each, or a bob the pair!" SYMPATHY. THE KING OF GREECE is expected shortly at Copenhagen. Of course he comes to sympathise with the KING OF DENMARK, who, after the thumping he got in Schleswig-Holstein is the King of Whacks. THE LATEST PARIS FASHION. MISS MENKEN is in PARIS, it is stated, having bid adieu to the English stage without taking a farewell o'dress. The reason is obvious-she bade good-bye to it on her first appearance in Mazeppa. Going to Bath with a vengeance! THE Morning Star had, the other day, an article, apropos of the interpretations put on MR. BRIGHT's speech, headed, "Attempt to Stifle Reform." What does the Star say to an attempt to drown itor, at the very least, to damp it? Such an attempt has been made, according to a report in the Times of the 13th, entitled, "Parlia mentary Reform in Lambeth." Here is the passage: "A meeting of the electors and non-electors of the borough of Lambeth, convened under the auspices of the National Reform League, was held last night to consider the subject of Parliamentary Reform. The meeting was held in the Lambeth Baths, Westminster-bridge-road. At eight o'clock, when the chairman, Mr. Thomas Hughes, M.P., took his seat, the large area used as the plunging-bath during the summer months was about one-third filled." And yet the Conservatives say that Reform won't wash! The Widow Married. A NATIVE widow was married a second time at Bombay, on the 23rd of November. The relicts of defunct Hindoos having come to the Christian opinion that it is better to marry than burn, are setting their faces against Suttee, and are looking about for Suttee-ble seconds. Literary Mems. The author of Beauties of Tropical Scenery has added to the latest edition, Lays nearer Home-goose eggs, we presume. We see announced a book entitled How to Get Money Quickly or Thirty Ways of Making a Fortune. One of them is, we believe, to publish a worthless guidebook to prosperity. A RATHER WILD BORE. A TUNNEL through the St. Gothard between Switzerland and Italy has been proposed, and a company is being formed to carry out the undertaking. Considering that it will be more than nine miles in length, we wish them "well through it." THE BELLE OF THE SESSION. Mrs. Earl Russell :-"WELL, MY DEAR, I HAVE PROMISED NOW THAT YOU SHALL COME OUT |