O Gondolier! my Gondolier! pray quit the Adriatic ;
That cold lagoon will make me soon incurably asthmatic.
Enough of barcarolling when the moon is in the skies ;
I'm sick of the Rialto and I hate the Bridge of Sighs.

Your craft may suit, on summer nights, the songster or the dreamer;

But, both for speed and elegance, give me the penny steamer.
Your city is romantic, but your songs begin, I fear,
To pall upon me sadly, O eternal Gondolier!

O Cavalier! my Cavalier! for ages and for ages
You've glared upon me darkly out of scores of title-pages:
I've join'd in all your battles, in your banquets, and your loves
(Including one occasion when you found a pair of gloves :)
I've seen you kiss and ride away-most cowardly behaviour!
But then, to damsels in distress I've seen you act the saviour.
You're vastly entertaining; but I fancy that I hear

A deal too much about you, O eternal Cavalier!

AN OLD CYNIC.

IS CUPID quite the rosy god

That poets try to make him out?

I've known him two-score years and odd,
And, frankly, I begin to doubt.

He has his prizes, I have heard;

I know he has his blanks as well:

In fact, I think, upon my word,

Le jeu ne vaut pas la chandelle!

IS PLUTUS quite the hero-king

That money-worms would have us think?

And is there, truly, anything

Of music in the metal's clink?

Perhaps you have a heart and brain, And have a heart and brain to sell! If not—I think 'tis pretty plain

Le jeu ne vaut pas la chandelle!

Is BACCHUS quite the handsome rake-
The gay and fascinating youth-
That poets paint him when they take
Poetic licences with truth?

When fever'd pulses come with day,

And headaches at your breakfast-bell,

I rather fancy that you '11 say,

Le jeu ne vaut pas la chandelle!

And is APOLLO quite so kind

As people say, to all his sons? I think that now and then you'll find He rather starves his younger ones. To play the lyre is pretty hard ;

It's harder still to play it well. Depend upon it, brother bard,

Le jeu ne vaut pas la chandelle!

Of course you can afford to burn

A rushlight, if the stakes be large; (And when you look for some return In money for your rushlight's charge.) But will you lose or will you gain? That's somewhat difficult to tell; And, if you lose, it's very plain

Le jeu ne vaut pas la chandelle!