ern essayist unavoidably restricted shade, after the fatigues of a promto a mere repetition of the senti- enade. The period of modern exments of the dead. By what pros- istence is contracted to threescore elytes the instructers of antiquity and ten, and they, who imbitter the were followed, or how extensively trifle, are equally cruel and mad. their humbler representatives are Yet, on this theme, the voice of regarded, it would deservedly oc- fact is as melancholy as decisive, casion the community a blush to and it will be discovered, that the relate. That so much labour has Remarker, far from aggravating been employed, and so little achieve the disagreeable, has rather qualed, will be a circumstance of hu- ified the harsh. There are some miliation to the vanity of under. spirits that appear to agree in taking; and the calculating portion nothing but to disagree, and the of mankind, after an intimacy with moment you fall within their influ. society, will rather accept a profes- ence, you must be possessed of the sorship for the regulation of the , equanimity of Democritus not to winds, than fatigue their constitu- be disturbed in the economy of tions with lecturing the insane. your temper, They seem, as it To those unread in the weak- were, born beneath a tempestuous nesses of human nature, these sen- quarter of the moon, when the matiments may appear the offspring ligner aspects of the firmament of misanthropy ; too prematurely were ascendant, and, like the disdelivered to be correct, and too tempered period of their nativity, distorted to pretend, in any degree, to be propitious to commotion and to a relationship with truth. That portentous of ill. The more you any should prefer uproar to rule, sacrifice to their arrogance, the quarrel to quiet, anxiety to ease, more their perverseness increases, supposes an eccentricity in choice, and not to struggle with the stream too unnatural, for belief. Admits is to be buried in the foulness of ting, as moralists have degrading. its bottom. No sense of propri. ly asserted, that selfishness is the ety, no feeling for delicacy, no ob, principle of action ; few, among servance of custom ever character, the provident, would sacrifice their izes their carriage. The polish of comfort for the limited satisfaction etiquette, the gentleness of modesof disturbing their neighbours, or ty, the sweetness of affability, with the whimsical diversion of appear- all the tender courtesies of intering disagreeable. Were the feel. course, are wasted on them, like the įngs of an individual illustrative of refinements of the Houyhnhnms the whole, I could conscientiously on the coarseness of the Yahoos. cite myself on the occasion, as an “ Let Hercules himself do what he may, authority in point; for, so wedded The cat will mew, the dog will have his day." am I to conveniency, that I never They remind you of those quaddraw on my boots after dinner, or rupeds, that are too desperate to be stoop down to buckle my shoe, but domesticated, too wild for an inI reflect, that I am abridging the terchange of reliance, that are amount of my days. Quietude is turned forth to howl and to deprethe essence of being ; and he is date in the shadow of the wilderpoor in the good things of this ness. In truth, though the perworld, who has never rested his suasion may seem fanciful, they legs against the jambs of the fire. further appear peculiarly illustra: place, or wiped his forehead in the live of the doctrine of transmigras tion, and many, less credulous than Jenyns, might be readily persuaded, that some, that now travel to and fro on two legs, seeking whom they may annoy, were, in aforetime, assisted on similar excursions, by the accommodating number and celerity of four. I remember not, whether the system of transformation of beings supposes the passage of higher natures into lower, or lower into higher, or both; but that the personages in question are rapidly accomplishing themselves for that which is here conceived their primitive condition, none will deny, and none will regret. Violent visitations become tolerable from the probability of their shortness, and these antidotes to enjoy ment are only endured, for the present, thro' the soothing expectation of their returning to their origin. Such are the wayward spirits that rejoice in disturbance; whose home, like the Sisterhood's of the Heath, is in the tempests they engender. But every principal has its subordinate, and, though we have exposed the leaders of the mischief, their accessaries remain to be noticed. That delicacy, which excuses petty offences, is unworthy the fidelity of the moralist; for great vices originate from trivial misdemeanours, and the calm of society may be ruffled by a whisper. Connected with the characters described, there are secondary malcontents, who, wanting the courage for open attack, gratify their malignity by sly innuendo and faint givings-out. They are remarkably skilful at a sneer, and can satirize with a compliment. They never smile but they wound, and never wound but they smile. The import of their speech is a sarcasm, and the expression of their countenances a bitter. There is something in the atmosphere of these beings more disconsolate shan winter, and as you approxi mate the chilness of their latitudes, you perceive your mercury subsiding to the point of congelation In their presence, the stream of conversation stiffens as it flows, and the reluctant observation is chilled in the delivery. Should circumstances deny them an opportunity to annoy you, they sit folded in an angle, hatching the solitary egg of ill-nature; perfecting mischief in embryo for the occasions of spleen. They listen to falsehood, and lay in wait to gather scandal; they delight in the narrative of disappointments, and are chagrined at the report of success. Suspicious of the narrowness of their capacities, the perfection of another cometh home like a censure; and the more perfect the character exhibited, the more radical their hate. Were they endued with resolution to execute what their malignancy concerts, their station would be paramount on the file of vexations; but to torture the malevolent with the mortifications of impotence is the agency of providence for the security of the virtuous. They accordingly contrive snares, that they want courage to spread; they construct engines for disturbance, that they fear to discharge, "And live" like "cowards" in their "own esteam, Letting I dare not, wait upon I would, These constitute the secondary denomination of malcontents; beings, less destructive in their tendency than their principals, but equally distorted in disposition and grain. If, by the moral code, the projection of an injury be alike culpable with the performance, they incur the consequences of a crime, without the pleasure of committing it. They sow seed, whose only produce is disappointment and shame. They fill their bos oms with bitterness, and waste themselves with cursing in pri vate. În the bustle, attending the nothing ; there are others too, that achievement of vicious designs, the we escort to the threshold with a accusations of conscience may, for sensation of relief. To which des a season, be suspended ; but to scription of visitors Mrs. Equinox support a sedentary existence of considered me as pertaining, I have low machination and impotent des not the curiosity to inquire ; the sire; to wear away in the cool lu- opinions of the disagreeable are cubration of iniquity and spite, is generally less distressing, than their to experience the labour of Sisy- presence. But, such is my regard phus, and endure the scourge of for the lady, if accident conducts the Furies. By what motives such her to my door, I shall feel little dispositions are actuated, it would compunction in securing its bolts. puzzle the perspicacity of a Hin- It is thought, that no character doo to discover. It is said, that is sufficiently corrupt to be devoid the pain of excessive pleasure is of a virtue ; that some truth may delicious, but the pleasure of ex reside even in the midst of depravo cessive pain is a paradox. ity. In support of the sentiment The subject matter of Remark. I can quote the lady in question, er Sirth was the product of acci- for, to do justice to impudence, she dent, rather than research. By is above deception. No cover is this confession it is not the inten- employed to secrete her deformition of the writer to apologize for ties, no polish attempted to soften its treatment, but to introduce the her rudeness ; she is equally nego incident that awakened his reflec- ligent of appearances or arts, and tions. That which is casually ac- commits outrages on society with quired may be leisurely revolved,' out apology or shame. If there is and many examples, more pat than any pleasure in exciting alarm,she the present, might be exhibited of is rarely destitute, too, of amusethe felicities of chance. There are ment ; for everyone, who ventrains of reflection extending tures within her influence, is genthrough every intelligence, and erally afflicted with an ague. Terwhen a spark is imparted they roris considered, I believe, as a part hurry to explosion. The incident of the sublime, and, as it is proper alluded to may be understood from to feel what we mean to impress, what follows. I would recommend Mrs.Equinox Several evenings ago I received to the cultivators of rhetorick. If, a note from Mrs. Equinox, and after a lecture or so from her lamy yesterday was devoted to meet- dyship, any one should be deficient ing her wishes. Many months in representing the grand, he may had elapsed, since I last darkened be a much better member of sociher doors, and many years, per- ety, but is unquestionably no poet. haps, may revolve ere I repeat my I have, myself, for some time had respects. As we had heretofore a tragedy upon the stocks, which, parted without a tear, we again owing to the incompleteness of its even ericountered without a smile. infernal machinery, I have hitherto To me the coalition was as memo- delayed presenting the publick ; rable as an eclipse, and the gloom but, since the visit aforenamed, that attended it not dissimilar to I feel so adequate to every thing that of the phenomenon. There tremendous, that I now calculate are people, who arrive and depart on a representation in the course without exciting a reflection ; there of the season. The act concluding are some, whom we gaze after with a concert of furies, which re. from the window till they fade into tarded at first the progress of my muse, will infallibly command the in its outline as a diagram in trigo applause of the house ; for the nometry, and as uncomfortable to principal infernal of the dramatis contact as the edges of a bureau ; personæ is immediately taken from conceive of something between a my ferocious entertainer. If the woman and a man, with the roughperformers are not remiss in con- ness of the one and the sex of the ceiving their author, my number other; a being whom the women of nights is as certain as day. One must disown and the men disavow ; character, well defined, has sup- and, should you still fail of her ported a play, and I challenge all likeness, call up, to assist your the fallen to parallel mine. conception, the weird sisters of The countenance is considered Shakespeare ; for, like them, she by some as a preface to the char- is indebted to a petticoat for the acter. How far the doctrine of testimony of her sex. In fine, features is fallacious or firm, the imagine a woman, every property inquisitive or idle may decide for of whose nature is at enmity with themselves ; neither capacity, nor love, who, in a scarcity of her kind, leisure, promote my remarks. would be the most puzzled for a However, as many of my readers partner, and, though you believe are perhaps students of the exte- me romancing, you will possess riour, a rough sketch of the lady's Mrs. Equinox to the nicety of a physiognomy may be somewhat fraction. appropriate, though ever so imper- Thus much for the disposition fect. Attend, then, and tremble ! and appearance of this uncomfortQuamquam animus meminisse horret, luctuque able lady, my interview with whom refugit ; Incipiam, remains to be decribed. To disBetween two opticks, more fiery cuss the enormities of society is than intelligent, imagine a thin the office of the essayist, in the partition of nostril,more censorious performance of which, accommothan wise ; to a mouth, rather ex- dation is delinquency. To emtravagant than liberal,an expression ploy lenitives as a recipe for abuse, more ferocious than brave ; to an or to solicit violence by entreaty, elevated forehead, more wrinkles is like indulging a diseased man to than imagination ; to an acumina- facilitate his cure. Should the Reted chin, more severity than deci- marker be considered therefore as sion ; imagine features to frighten too profuse of his caustick, let the children from their playthings, or tender-hearted be instructed, that convert dairies to curdle ; imagine more are injured by forbearance that which you wish least to be than correction. This affecting hold, and her portraiture is yours. to do something, and executing But the history of her deformities nothing, is relinquishing the rod concludes not with her counte- to the children, and making a mockDance. Nature, in every passage ery of discipline. But to the lady. of its performance, is incomparably On approaching the mansion of uniform ; and her ladyship is as Mrs. Equinox, agreeably to her unique in ugliness, as the Graces note and disagreeably to my wish To extend then this es, I experienced a foreboding, rehead-size to a full-length ; conceive sembling that of a truant returning of a figure, nearly five feet eleven, to his tutor, and involuntarily perskinny, faded, and coarse, angular formed several evolutions about Vol. III. No. 2. K a in beauty. the premises, without arriving at her door. But, finally recollecting that there was no avoiding the visit, and feeling that the apprehension of difficulty was worse than the encounter, I sufficiently rallied my spirits to elevate the knocker. The noise of its fall was like the knell of my joys. The morning was cold and blue, and the winds sang mournfully in the key-hole. I felt as if attending, in the character of chief mourner, the funeral of the whole family of the Agreeables. Luckily, at my entrance, no one was in the parlour, and, remembering that genuine courage derived accessions from reason, I was beginning to argue myself into magnanimity, when Mrs. Equinox appeared. What before has been hinted of our meeting I will not enlarge upon; suffice it that we encountered without a smile, for we had parted without a tear. To love or hate at first sight is accounted whimsical, yet nuch of a character may be gathered from a glance. Of the correctness of prepossession, I could produce Mrs. Equinox as an instance, for in a moment you are persuaded that she is possessed with a familfar. The composure of her first salutation resembles that tranquillity in the heavens, which is the precursor of a tempest, and you may read, even in her countenance at rest, the inclemency of her temperament. The day of my visit, unfortunately, was rather dirty under foot, and, forgetting in my agitation to make use of the scraper, I unwittingly traced the carpet with mud, from the entry to the fire-place. From ladies less punctilious in their household than my hostess, such a clownish manœuvre might have produced a reproof, and to one of her susceptibility the defacement of a kidderminster was ample matter for invective. Ace cordingly, with features divided between simpers and frowns, and tones set at variance by raillery and spite, concealing and betraying a desire of revenge, she immediately proceeded to open an attack. "You have been particularly unfortunate in selecting your road, sir, or the ways are much fouler than I was led to suppose. Why, you are lumbered with mud like a wheel from the mire, and your heels are as heavy as a ploughman's in spring. Here, Mary, Mary, for the love of neatness. come hither, or we shall be buried alive. The gentleman, I believe, imagines that we were created merely to rub and to clean. Here have I been slaving and driving to make things as they should be, and the first recompence of my industry is dirt and disgrace." Unluckily, the tongue of Mrs. Equinox being suspended in the middle, her vocal abilities were just double her neighbours, and, on occasions as interesting to hussies as the present, her utterance reminded you of the running down of a jack. Sensible that apologies would only aggravate her eloquence, I was silently about retiring to disencumber my boots, when my ears were accosted by the full pathos of her pipe. "For goodnessake, stand still, sir, or return in your track; your shifting about only widens the grievance. Because the room is a dirt-heap, must you make it a kennel? I protest, such proceedings would put a saint out of patience. I will say, since the commencement of my housekeeping, I never witnessed the like, and, if this be the consequence of receiving a visit, I desire, for the future, to meet company abroad." Thankful that any track was yet favourable for re |