One morning, he heard Mr. M'Intosh, the doctor, desire Judy the servant, who waited on both of them, to go out and buy him a pennyworth of rosin for his "feedle ;" and as she passed his door, he called her in, and inquired her errand.-"Sure I'm going to get some ros'n, Mr. Sparks, for Mr. M'Intosh's fiddle." "Ros'n, ros'n, you crachur!" said Sparks; "and isn't ros'n you are going to ax for, Judy, arrant nonsense?" "Arrah, Mr. Sparks!"-"Ros'n's Latin, my jewel: the shopkeeper won't understand !""Latin! Och sure, Mr. Sparks, I know nauthing of Latin; will your honor tell me what am I to ax for?"-"Say you want a piece of stick-brimstone, darling; that's English to spake, and good Irish in the bar, gain." The girl complied with his direction-: procured the brimstone, and returning to Mr. M'Intosh, presented it to him. "You dom b-h!" exclaimed the Scotchman," what ha'

you

ye broot me?-what do ye ca' this?""Brimstone, Sirr !"- "Breemstun ! did I na send ye for roosin ?"-" Plase your honor, and so you did; but Mr. Sparks tould me that brimstone was the raal thing to ax for."

Foaming with rage, away flew the Doctor into Isaac's room, (who was listening to the result,) and demanded of him how he daredto interfere with another person's affairs, and alter his commands to the servant.—" Why, Mr. M'Intosh," said Isaac, very coolly, "what did you send for?"-" Roosin, Sir,-roosin

for my feedle, and be domm'd to ye.". "Well," replied Sparks, "I always thought brimstone was rosin for a Scotch fiddle!"

KNIPE AND THE IRISHMAN.

Knipe was a very plain man, both in his looks and habiliments; but he had a handsome wife, who was very fond of dress, as most managers' wives are, that attach a proper importance to their husbands' situations. Arriving at an inn one evening during a journey, Mrs. K. was shown into the parlour with great ceremony, where she ordered supper; but Knipe remained outside to see his horse attended to, and his buggy burnished. Satisfying himself upon the first point, he walked up to the Teddy who was purifying his vehicle, when the latter mistook him for his wife's servant, and said, "'Pon my sowl, honey you're a mighty fine gintleman, to make me wash your muddy buggy, when I have ever so many delicate plates and dishes to clane in-doors! Take the mop, you divil, and work away at the. wheels, whilst I fetch another bucket of water." Knipe, being a fellow of infinite good humor, laughed at his mistake, and confirmed him in it by complying with his wish.

When Teddy returned, a conversation ensued as to what sort of a situation Knipe enjoyed. "You've pretty good wages, I should'nt doubt, darling?" As much mon

ey as I can get," said Knipe." And does that beautiful lady, your mistress, give it all to you?" "No-but she assists me.”"How long have you lived wid her?". "Three years."-"How long shall you stop?"-"As long as I live."-"Oh, you lucky divil-sarve that lovely cracher all your life-you should do it for nothing. And is she very kind to you?"-"Very-very fond of me.". "The divil!"-She couldn't live without me."-You daun't say so!""And a word in your ear."—" Well.”"I'm to sleep with her to-night!"—" Och, hùbaboo! Oh, you angel of the sivinth heaven!-what star was you born under!"

Knipe, anticipating no consequences from such an equivoque, went in to supper whenthe buggy was cleaned; but Teddy had been so struck with the beauty of Mrs. K. that he could not restrain his envy at her husband's happiness, and divulged what he had heard to a fellow servant, who telling it to a second, it was reported to a third, and so proceeded through every male and female link of the domestic machine, till it reached the landlady, who was naturally shocked. Knipe was unknown to her; and his mean appearance sufficiently established her servant's mistake. She accordingly determined to watch his movements at night, and prevent such a disgrace to her house, if attempted. Mrs. K. retired early to bed; but her spouse, as was his usual custom, sat up to

smoke his pipe, and drink a tumbler of whiskey. At length he took up the light, and followed his wife's steps; having been inform ed by her what chamber he was to go to. As he ascended the stairs, he heard whisperings in the passage, and the noise of moving. to and fro; but it was perfectly dark, and he could see nothing. On gaining the landing

place, he perceived the various doors ajar, and was about to proceed to No. 10, when they flew open with a simultaneous clang, and out rushed every domestic in the inn, who surrounded and seized him; the treacherous Teddy and the infuriated hostess at their head. "Go along, Sir," said she; "go down-stairs, Sir; you know you was to slape over the stable. Do you think to make a tawdry-house of a respectable inn ?" Knipe, in the utmost consternation, demanded the reason of such treatment; and his wife, who was in bed, called out to him, "My dear! what's the matter?"--"Oh, hould your tongue, Marm,” replied the landlady; you ought to be ashamed of sich doings in a jonteel place of entertainment!-Slape wid your sarvant!—Oh, fie! Bad luck to your

taste!"

66

Knipe now kicked and struggled in the grasp of a dozen Irish wenches and cowboys to little purpose; and the appearance of Mrs. K. at her door, who had jumped up in the greatest alarm, only fortified their hearts, instead of melting them, at such an open evi

dence of female frailty. To all her addresses, therefore, to let him go,-that he was her husband, &c., they replied by shaking their heads, putting their hands to their faces, and crying, "Fie, fie! Oh you naughty woman! go along :"-and to Knipe : "Get down stairs, you big blackguard !” A terrible squabble ensued below; and Knipe was eventually released, though not without danger of paying a penalty for his joke.

DUBLIN THEATRE-A FREE NIGHT.

The play was " Douglas ;" and on this occasion all the principals of the Theatre were exempted from duty, and the characters were allotted to understrappers. That of Glenalvon fell into the hands of a little black-browed, bandy-legged fellow by the name of Barret, well known throughout Dublin for his private particularities, and possessing at all times a great circle of acquaintance in Mount Olympus. The Irish people have great sympathy and enthusiasm; and notwithstanding their personal inconvenience, and the caricature daubings of the beauties of Home (the actors appearing to be all abroad when they were at home) then and there exhibited, they saw and heard the whole with profound attention. Barret's entrance was the signal for an uproar; but it was of a permissible order. He was dressed in an entire suit of black