What woman in the city do I name, • When that I say, the city-woman bears The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders? Who can come in, and say, that I mean her, <When such a one as she, such is her neighbour? Or what is he of basest function, That says his bravery is not on my cost, There then, how, what then? Let me see wherein My tongue hath wrong'd' him: if it do him right, • Then he hath wrong'd himself; if he be free, Why then, my taxing, like a wild goose, flies ESSAY XXIII. I NARRATIVE CONTINUED. BECAME gradually deteriorated in mind and in manners; civility I laughed at, decency I despised, truth I had forgotten, and the traces of humanity were nearly obliterated from my recollection. When at home for the vacation, I quarrelled incessantly with my brothers and sisters, behaved abo minably ill to my mother, and scarcely refrained from rudeness to my father. These, and a little classicality, were all the fruits I had reaped by two years and a half residence at ............... I was now made a senior inferior, and if before I was bad, I now became intolerable; if before I was vicious, I was now transformed into a demon; cursing, and swearing, and swindling, and lying, and extravagance, and idleness seemed to complete my character, and to consume my time. I had now very few moments of comfort; I was not fourteen, and had the uncontrolled authority over a great number of my fellow-creatures. That I abused this power there can be no doubt, and in playing the tyrant became a miserable slave, for, as Montesquieu well observes, Ce sera un bien, même dans le commandement, de l'avoir eue telle; personne n'y etant tyran sans être en même tems esclave.' And he adds, L'extrême obéissance suppose de l'ignorance dans celui qui commande. Il n'a point à délibérer, à douter, ni à raisonner; il n'a qu'à vouloir.' And surely it must be the height of igno rance, both in the reptiles who submit to, and in the wretches who engross such unwarrantable power. But now the time was fast approaching, when I was to bid an eternal adieu to ..............., for the storm, which had been long hovering in the horizon, at length burst, and swept the major portion of the young gownsmen down the deluge. But, perhaps, for the better understanding of the scene which is to follow, it may be proper to present a faint outline of the cha racters of the three great personages principally concerned in the action, the ........................, and the two masters. The ........... was, in the strictest sense of the word, a pédant; he was dull, plodding, laborious, methodical, vain, ostentatious, insolent, dogmatical, authoritative, despotic, petty, contracted, bigotted, prejudiced, and unfeeling. He was sprung from some very obscure stock, I believe his father was a dancing-master, his mother's name hath been lost in the lapse of time. After a due preparation at he was elected fellow of. ..............., whence, in process of time, he became the master of a little provincial grammar school, where his little personage and large wig were, at once, the objects of terror and of contempt to the boys, whom he magisterially attempted to flagellate into as great a degree of stupidity as he himself possessed. Here, to the great edification. of the neighbourhood, he remained some `years, till a lucky hit, as it is called, lifted up our hero from the office of country bum-. brushing to the elevated station of............ ............. It happened thus: There was a schism among the whose office fellows of...... it is to elect the ........ when any vacancy occurs. They formed themselves, I know not for what trifling circumstances, into two parties; one consisted of the senior, the other of the junior fellows. The younger 'party determined to try their strength against their elder brethren, at the ensuing election for the .........................................; and if they sueceeded, in order to make their triumph the more conspicuous, they were determined to thrust into the vacant chair some obscure, unknown, insignificant man; whereas before, it was, generally, a custom 204 to appoint some one of consequence, as to his character, and literary abilities. They began to consult whom they should propose, uphold, and carry through all obstacles. After some discussion, one of them chanced to mention Tommy Tiptoe, the little pedagogue, as the most consequential, self-important, disagreeable, insignificant creature breathing; on him they immediately fixed, and apprized him by letter of their intention. He, elevated beyond all conception by such a dazzling prospect, humbly and with abundant expressions of thankfulness acceded to the proposal, went to ............, offered himself as candidate, and, by a majority of one vote, obtained the high and mighty dignity. A specimen of his gratitude I cannot forbear relating before 1 proceed further. Some few months after his election, as he was walking arm in arm with the little dapper dean of Waterford, on the stone walk of... quadrangle, a young gentleman, a fellow of who had been very active in promoting the recent warden's interest during the contest, went up to him to shake his |