BEN ALLAH ACHMET Or the Fatal Tum I ONCE did know a Turkish man Whom I upon a two-pair-back met; His name it was EFFENDI KHAN BACKSHEESH PASHA BEN ALLAH ACHMET. A DOCTOR BROWN I also knew The Turk and he they lived at Hooe, I knew a nice young lady there, The Turk adored the maid of Hooe (Although his harem would have shocked her); But BROWN adored that maiden, too: He was a most seductive doctor. They'd follow her where'er she'd go BROWN did not know that Turkish male, Are total strangers to each other. One day that Turk he sickened sore, It made him moan it made him groan And almost wore him to a mummy: Why should I hesitate to own That pain was in his little tummy? At length a Doctor Who felt his pulse, looked up his tongue, And hummed and hawed, and then inquired: "Where is the pain that long has preyed Upon you in so sad a way, sir? The Turk he giggled, blushed, and said, "I don't exactly like to say, sir." "Come, nonsense ! " said good Doctor Brown. "So this is Turkish coyness, is it? You must contrive to fight it down The Turk he shyly bit his thumb, And coyly blushed like one half-witted, "The pain is in my little tum," He, whispering, at length admitted. "Then take you this, and take you that Your blood flows sluggish in its channel You must get rid of all this fat, And wear my medicated flannel. "You'll send for me, when you're in need My name is BROWN - your life I've saved it!" 66 My rival!" shrieked the invalid, And drew a mighty sword and waved it : "This to thy weazand, Christian pest !" And drove right through the Doctor's chest The blow was a decisive one, And DOCTOR BROwn grew deadly pasty "Now see the mischief that you've done,You Turks are so extremely hasty. "There are two DOCTOR BROWNS in Hooe, The accident was thus explained, "With me, sir, you shall be interred, "Oh, pray don't say another word, I'm sure that more than compensates me. "But p'r'aps, kind Turk, you 're full inside?'' "There's room," said he, "for any number." And so they laid them down and died. In proud Stamboul they sleep their slumber. THE THREE KINGS HERE were three niggers of Chickera- THE PACIFICO, BANG-BANG, POPCHOP — who Exclaimed, one terribly sultry day, 'Oh, let's be kings in a humble way.” By which, whenever we like, we can "Three casks, from somebody else's stores, |