Page images
PDF
EPUB

3

"By any reasonable plan

I'll make you happy if I can ;

My own convenience count as nil;
It is my duty, and I will.”

[blocks in formation]

"You have a daughter, CAPTAIN Reece, Ten female cousins and a niece,

A ma, if what I'm told is true,

Six sisters, and an aunt or two.

66

Now, somehow, sir, it seems to me,
More friendly-like we all should be,
If you united of 'em to

Unmarried members of the crew.

"If you'd ameliorate our life,
Let each select from them a wife;
And as for nervous me, old pal,
Give me your own enchanting gal!

[ocr errors]

Good CAPTAIN REECE, that worthy man,
Debated on his coxswain's plan :
"I quite agree," he said, "O BILL
It is my duty, and I will.

[blocks in formation]

"But what are dukes and viscounts to
The happiness of all my crew?
The word I gave you I'll fulfil;
It is my duty, and I will.

"As you desire it shall befall,
I'll settle thousands on you all,
And I shall be, despite my hoard,
The only bachelor on board."

The boatswain of The Mantelpiece,
He blushed and spoke to CAPTAin Reece:
"I beg your honor's leave," he said,
"If you would wish to go and wed,

"I have a widowed mother who
Would be the very thing for you
She long has loved you from afar,
She washes for you, CAPTAIN R."

The captain saw the dame that dayAddressed her in his playful way

"And did

it want a

wedding
ring?

It was a

[graphic]

66

tempting
ickle sing!

Well, well, the chaplain I will seek,
We'll all be married this day week
At yonder church upon the hill;
It is my duty, and I will!"

The sisters, cousins, aunts, and niece,
And widowed ma of CAPTAIN REECE,
Attended there as they were bid;
It was their duty, and they did.

THE RIVAL CURATES

L

IST while the poet trolls

Of MR. CLAYTON HOOPER,

Who had a cure of souls
At Spiffton-extra-Sooper.

He lived on curds and whey,
And daily sang their praises,
And then he'd go and play
With buttercups and daisies.

Wild croquet HOOPER banned,
And all the sports of Mammon,
He warred with cribbage, and
He exorcised backgammon.

His helmet was a glance

That spoke of holy gladness;

A saintly smile his lance,

His shield a tear of sadness.

His Vicar smiled to see

This armor on him buckled:

With pardonable glee

He blessed himself and chuckled.

"In mildness to abound

My curate's sole design is,

In all the country round

There's none so mild as mine is!"

And HOOPER, disinclined

His trumpet to be blowing, Yet did n't think you'd find A milder curate going.

A friend arrived one day
At Spiffton-extra-Sooper,
And in this shameful way
He spoke to MR. HOOPER :

"You think your famous name

For mildness can't be shaken, That none can blot your fameBut, HOOPER, you're mistaken!

"Your mind is not as blank
As that of HoPLEY PORTER,

Who holds a curate's rank
At Assesmilk-cum-Worter.

[merged small][graphic][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small]
« PreviousContinue »