Hal;—if I tell thee a lie, spit in my face, call me horse. Thou knowest my old ward;—here I lay, and thus I bore my point. Four rogues in buckram let drive at me,

P. Hen. What, four? thou saidst but two even

now.

Fal. Four, Hal; I told thee four.

Poins. Ay, ay, he said four.

Fal. These four came all afront, and mainly thrust at me. I made me no more ado, but took their seven points in my target, thus.

P. Hen. Seven? why there were but four even

now.

Fal. In buckram.

Poins. Ay, four in buckram suits.

Fal. Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else. P. Hen. Pr'ythee, let him alone; we shall have

more anon.

Fal. Dost thou hear me, Hal?

P. Hen. Ay, and mark thee too, Jack.

Fal. Do so, for it is worth the listening to.
These nine in buckram, that I told thee of,—
P. Hen. So, two more already!

Fal. Their points being broken,
Poins. Down fell their hose.

Fal. Began to give me ground: but I followed me close; came in foot and hand; and, with a thought, seven of the eleven I paid.

P. Hen. O monstrous! eleven buckram men grown out of two!

Fal. But, as the devil would have it, three mis

begotten knaves, in Kendal-green, came at my back, and let drive at me ;-for it was so dark, Hal, that thou couldst not see thy hand.

P. Hen. These lies are like the father that begets them; gross as a mountain, open, palpable. Why, thou clay-brained guts; thou knotty-pated fool; thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow-keech; 1

Fal. What, art thou mad? art thou mad? Is not the truth, the truth?

P. Hen. Why, how couldst thou know these men in Kendal-green, when it was so dark, thou couldst not see thy hand? Come, tell us your reason. What sayest thou to this?

Poins. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.

Fal. What, upon compulsion? No; were I at the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion? If reasons were as plenty as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon compulsion, I.

P. Hen. I'll be no longer guilty of this sin: this sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horse-backbreaker, this huge hill of flesh;

Fal. Away, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neats-tongue, bull's pizzle, you stock-fish ;-0, for breath to utter what is like thee !—you tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!

1 Cake of tallow.

P. Hen. Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again; and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons, hear me speak but this.

Poins. Mark, Jack.

P. Hen. We two saw you four set on four; you bound them, and were masters of their wealth. Mark now, how plain a tale shall put you down. Then did we two set on you four, and, with a word, outfaced you from your prize, and have it; yea, and can show it you here in the house :—and, Falstaff, you carried your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I heard bull-calf. What a

slave art thou, to hack thy sword, as thou hast done, and then say, it was in fight! What trick, what device, what starting-hole, canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparent shame ?

Poins. Come, let's hear, Jack. What trick hast thou now?

Fal. By the Lord, I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why, hear ye, my masters. Was it for me to kill the heir apparent? Should I turn upon the true prince? Why, thou knowest, I am as valiant as Hercules: but beware instinct; the lion will not touch the true prince. Instinct is a great matter; I was a coward on instinct. I shall think the better of myself and thee during my life; I for a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince. But, by the Lord, lads, I am glad you have the money. Hostess, clap to the doors; watch to-night, pray

to-morrow. Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold! all the titles of good fellowship come to you! What, shall we be merry? shall we have a play extempore?

P. Hen. Content; and the argument shall be, thy running away.

me.

Fal. Ah! no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest

Enter HOSTESS.

Host. My lord, the prince,

P. Hen. How now, my lady, the hostess? what sayest thou to me?

Host. Marry, my lord, there is a nobleman of the court at door, would speak with you: he says, he comes from your father.

P. Hen. Give him as much as will make him a royal man,1 and send him back again to my mother. Fal. What manner of man is he?

Host. An old man.

Fal. What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight?--Shall I give him his answer?

P. Hen. Pr'ythee, do, Jack.

Fal. Faith, and I'll send him packing.

[Exit.

P. Hen. Now, sirs; by 'r lady, you fought fair ;so did you, Peto;-so did you, Bardolph: you are lions too; you ran away upon instinct: you will not touch the true prince; no,-fie!

1 The royal, or real, went for 10s. the noble only for 6s. 8d.

Bar. Faith, I ran when I saw others run. P. Hen. Tell me now in earnest, how came Falstaff's sword so hacked?

Peto. Why, he hacked it with his dagger; and said, he would swear truth out of England, but he would make you believe it was done in fight; and persuaded us to do the like.

Bar. Yea, and to tickle our noses with speargrass, to make them bleed; and then to beslubber our garments with it, and to swear it was the blood of I did that I did not this seven year be

true men.

fore;

I blushed to hear his monstrous devices. P. Hen. O villain, thou stolest a cup of sack eighteen years ago, and wert taken with the manner,1 and ever since thou hast blushed extempore. Thou hadst fire and sword on thy side, and yet thou ran'st away: what instinct hadst thou for it?

Bar. My lord, do you see these meteors? do you behold these exhalations?

P. Hen. I do.

Bar. What think you they portend?
P. Hen. Hot livers and cold purses.2
Bar. Choler, my lord, if rightly taken.
P. Hen. No, if rightly taken, halter.

Re-enter FALSTAFF.

Here comes lean Jack, here comes bare-bone. How

1 In the fact.

2 Drunkenness and poverty.