CAPT. G.-Jack and I, though Jack's notions are too radical. What's that big sigh for, Minnie?

MRS. G.-Oh, nothing . . . and you've kept all this a a secret from me! Why?

CAPT. G.-Not a secret, exactly, dear. I didn't say anything about it to you because I didn't think it would amuse you.

MRS. G.-And am I only made to be amused?

CAPT. G.-No, of course. I merely mean that it couldn't interest you.

MRS. G.-It's your work and—and if you'd let me, I'd count all these things up. If they are too heavy, you know by how much they are too heavy, and you must have a list of things made out to your scale of lightness, and

CAPT. G.-I have got both scales somewhere in my head; but it's hard to tell how light you can make a headstall, for instance, until you've actually had a model made.

MRS. G. But if you read out the list, I could copy it down, and pin it up there just above your table. Wouldn't that do?

CAPT. G.-It would be awf'ly nice, dear, but it would be giving you trouble for nothing. I can't work that way. I go by rule of thumb. I know the present scale of weights, and the other one-the one that I'm trying to work to—will shift and vary so much that I couldn't be certain, even if I wrote it down.

MRS. G.-I'm so sorry. I thought I might help. Is there anything else that I could be of use in?

CAPT. G.- (Looking round the room.) I can't think of anything. You're always helping me, you know.

MRS. G.-Am I? How?

CAPT. G.-You are you of course, and as long as you're near me--I can't explain exactly, but it's in the air.

MRS. G.-And that's why you wanted to send me away?

CAPT. G.—That's only when I'm trying to do work-grubby work like this.

MRS. G.-Mafflin's better, then, isn't he?

CAPT. G.- (Rashly.) Of course he is. Jack and I have been thinking down the same groove for two or three years about this equipment. It's our hobby, and it may really be useful some day.

MRS. G.—(After a pause.) And that's all that you have away from me?

Take care

CAPT. G.-It isn't very far away from you now. that the oil on that bit doesn't come off on your dress. MRS. G.—I wish I wish so much that I could really help you. I believe I could . . . if I left the room. not what I mean.

But that's

CAPT. G.--(Aside.) Give me patience! I wish she would go. (Aloud.) I assure you you can't do anything for me, Minnie, and I must really settle down to this. Where's my pouch?

MRS. G.--(Crossing to writing-table.) Here you are, Bear. What a mess you keep your table in !

CAPT. G.-Don't touch it. There's a method in my madness, though you mightn't think of it.

MRS. G.-(At table.) I want to look. accounts, Pip?

Do you keep

CAPT. G.--(Bending over saddlery.) Of a sort. rummaging among the Troop papers? Be careful.

Are you

Good

MRS. G.-Why? I sha'n't disturb anything. gracious! I had no idea that you had anything to do with so many sick horses.

CAPT. G.-'Wish I hadn't, but they insist on falling sick. Minnie, if I were you I really should not investigate those papers. You may come across something that you won't like.

MRS. G.-Why will you always treat me like a child? I know I'm not displacing the horrid things.

CAPT. G.--(Resignedly.) Very well, then. Don't blame me if anything happens. Play with the table and let me go on with the saddlery. (Slipping hand into trousers-pocket.) Oh, the deuce!

MRS. G.-(Her back to G.) What's that for?

CAPT. G.-Nothing. (Aside.) There's not much of importance in it, but I wish I'd torn it up.

MRS. G.-(Turning over contents of table.) I know you'll hate me for this; but I do want to see what your work is like. (A pause.) Pip, what are "farcy-buds"?

CAPT. G.-Hah! Would you really like to know? They aren't pretty things.

MRS. G.-This Journal of Veterinary Science says they are of "absorbing interest." Tell me.

CAPT. G.--(Aside.) It may turn her attention.

Gives a long and designedly loathsome account of glanders and farcy.

MRS. G.-Oh, that's enough. Don't go on!

CAPT. G. But you wanted to know . . . things suppurate and matterate and spread—

Then these

MRS. G.--Pip, you're making me sick! You're a horrid, disgusting school-boy.

CAPT. G.- (On his knees among the bridles.) You asked to be told. It's not my fault if you worry me into talking about horrors.

MRS. G. Why didn't you say---No?

CAPT. G.-Good Heavens, child! Have you come in here simply to bully me?

You're so strong. up and put me outAren't you?

MRS. G.—I bully you? How could I! (Hysterically.) Strong enough to pick me side the door, and leave me there to cry. CAPT. G.-It seems to me that you're an irrational little baby. Are you quite well?

MRS. G.-Do I look ill? (Returning to table.) Who is

1

your lady friend with the big gray envelope and the fat mono

MRS. G.-(Showing envelope.) This has nothing to do with them. I'm going to open it.

May I?

CAPT. G.--Certainly, if you want to. I'd sooner you didn't, though. I don't ask to look at your letters to the Deercount girl.

MRS. G.-You'd better not, Sir! (Takes letter from envelope.) Now, may I look? If you say no, I shall cry. CAPT. G.-You've never cried in my knowledge of you, and I don't believe you could.

MRS. G.-I feel very like it to-day, Pip. Don't be hard on me. (Reads letter.) It begins in the middle, without any "Dear Captain Gadsby," or anything. How funny!

CAPT. G.--(Aside.) No, it's not Dear Captain Godsby, or anything, now. How funny!

MRS. G.-What a strange letter ! (Reads.) "And so the moth has come too near the candle at last, and has been singed into shall I say Respectability? I congratulate him, and hope he will be as happy as he deserves to be." What does that mean? Is she congratulating you about our marriage?

CAPT. G.-Yes, I suppose so.

MRS. G.-(Still reading letter.) She seems to be a particular friend of yours.

CAPT. G.-Yes. She was excellent matron of sorts-a Mrs. Herriott-wife of a Colonel Herriott. I used to know some of her people at Home long ago—before I came out. MRS. G.-Some Colonels' wives are young-as young as I knew one who was younger.

me.

CAPT. G.-Then it couldn't have been Mrs. Herriott. She was old enough to have been your mother, dear.

MRS. G.-I remember now. Mrs. Scargill was talking about her at the Duffins' tennis, before you came for me, on Tuesday. Captain Mafflin said she was a “dear old woman." Do you know, I think Mafflin is a very clumsy man with his feet.

CAPT. G.-(Aside.) Good old Jack! (Aloud.) Why, dear?

MRS. G.-He had put his cup down on the ground then, and he literally stepped into it. Some of the tea spirted over my dress-the gray one. I meant to tell you about it before. CAPT. G.-(Aside.) There are the makings of a strategist about Jack, though his methods are coarse. better get a new dress, then.

will turn her.

(Aloud.) You'd (Aside.) Let us pray that that

MRS. G.—Oh, it isn't stained in the least. I only thought that I'd tell you. (Returning to letter.) What an extraordinary person! (Reads.) "But need I remind you that you have taken upon yourself a charge of wardship"--what in the world is a charge of wardship?" which, as you yourself know, may end in Consequences"

CAPT. G.-(Aside.) It's safest to let 'em see everything as they come across it; but 'seems to me that there are exceptions to the rule. (Aloud.) I told you that there was nothing to be gained from rearranging my table.

MRS. G.-(Absently.) What does the woman mean? She goes on talking about Consequences-" almost inevitable Consequences" with a capital C-for half a page. (Flush ing scarlet.) Oh, good gracious! How abominable ! CAPT. G.-(Promptly.) Do you think so? a sort of motherly interest in us? (Aside.) Harry always wrapped her meaning up safely!

Doesn't it show Thank Heaven, (Aloud.) Is it absolutely necessary to go on with the letter, darling?