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Adr. I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still; My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will. He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,4 Ill-fac'd, worse-bodied, shapeless every where; Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making,’ worse in mind. Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one? No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone. Adr. Ah! but I think him better than I say, And yet would herein others' eyes were worse: Far from her nest the lapwing cries away;" My heart prays for him, though my tongue do Curse.
Enter DRom Io of Syracuse.
Dro. S. Here, go; the desk, the purse; sweet now, make haste. Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath? Dro. S. By running fast. Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well? Dro. S. No, he's in tartar limbo, worse than hell: A devil in an everlasting garment i hath him, One, whose hard heart is button'd up with steel; A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough; A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff; A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one than countermands The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands;
4 Dry, withered. 5 Marked by nature with deformity. * Who crieth most where her nest is not. 7 The officers in those days were clad in buff, which is also a cant expression for a man's skin.
A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry-foot well; One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls to hell.8 Adr. Why, man, what is the matter? Dro. S. I do not know the matter? he is 'rested on the case. Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me, at whose suit. Dro. S. I know not at whose suit he is arrested, well; But he's in a suit of buff, which 'rested him, that can I tell: Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in the desk? Adr. Go fetch it, sister.—This I wonder at, - [Erit LUCIANA. That he, unknown to me, should be in debt: Tell me, was he arrested on a band 29 Dro. S. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing; A chain, a chain; do you not hear it ring 2 Adr. What, the chain 2 Dro. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time, that I were gone. It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes One. Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear. Dro. S. O yes, If any hour meet a sergeant, a turns back for very fear. Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason 2 Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he's worth to season.
* Hell was the cant term for prison. 9 i. e. Bond.
Nay, he's a thief too: Have you not heard men say,
Adr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it straight; And bring thy master home immediately.— Come, sister; I am press'd down with conceit;" Conceit, my comfort, and my injury. [Ereunt
Enter ANTIPHolus of Syracuse.
Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth salute me
As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
* Fanciful conception.
Enter DRom Io of Syracuse.
Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for: What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparell'd? Ant. S. What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean? Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's-skin that was kill'd for the prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. Ant. S. I understand thee not. Dro. S. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace, than a morris-pike. Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band: one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God give you good rest. Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone? Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-night? and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: Here are the angels that you sent for, to deliver you.
Ant. S. The fellow is dictract, and so am I;
Enter a Courtezan.
Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus. , I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now; Is that the chain, you promis'd me to-day? Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee tempt me not! IDro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan? Ant. S. It is the devil. Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God damn me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written, they appear to men like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her. Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir. Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here. Dro. S. Master, if you do expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon. Ant. S. Why, Dromio 2 Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, that must eat with the devil. Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping 2 Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress: I conjure thee to leave me, and be gone. Cour. Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner, Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis'd; And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.