Page images
PDF
EPUB

for a sprained hip, Aye,' said he, we must fire you on the round bone, and give you a winter's run.' Upon my expressing some surprise at this address, he loudly exclaimed against my ignorance, swearing at the same time that he believed I should not know a snaffle from a curb.

I shall subjoin to these remarks a letter from one of my correspondents, not very foreign from my subject.

[ocr errors]

DEAR GREG,

Having occasion to travel a few weeks since on the north road, I was not a little surprised at being charged by the postilion for twenty miles, when the real distance was but seventeen. Upon my remonstrating, the boy allowed what I said, but they never charged, he said, on that stage by the mile stones, but by the old time out of mind' custom of the house. Upon so barefaced a declaration, I instantly paid him the money, assuring him at the same time, that though I was obliged to submit to his custom, I never would in future trouble him with mine. Your opinion of the repartee, will much oblige, Dear Greg,

M.

Your constant reader and admirer,
MISOETHUS."

The reader may more easily conceive, that I can express the extreme sorrow with which I inform the public of the indisposition under which Mr. GRIFFIN now labours. It has been, alas! for some time the opinion of the most able physicians, that he could not outlive forty;-if so, two weeks, 'two little weeks with wings of down' (as the poet says), will terminate his existence, as the Guardian, the Censor, and the Instructor, of the Little World. He seems indeed, to be fully sensible of his situation; so much so, that he commissioned me to make it known to

6

the public; and to inform his correspondents at the same time, that it is his earnest desire, that they would send in to him without delay, their names, and the claims they have to their respective compositions, that he may be able to do them justice in his last will and testament. He is happy that he can attribute his approaching end to no other than natural causes. He had indeed, some time ago, a kind of paralytic affection, which totally deprived him of the use of one half of his body; but to this (though I cannot indeed pronounce him quite recovered of it) I can by no means ascribe his alasI-fear-too-quickly-approaching end. Tant mieux, as the French have it, so much the better,' we are all mortal men, high and low, rich and poor, all must die one time or another; and of this Mr. GRIFFIN seems well aware; for though, for some space of time, one half of his body was of no manner of service to him, he always kept up his spirits. Should Mr. GRIFFIN recover, I may be allowed to exclaim with the poet, Arma virumque cano,'-but τον δ' απαμειβομενος, “ if the worst comes to the worst,' I shall have the satisfaction to reflect, that I have done my duty in warning the public of their approaching loss,-and then-but the dejection of my spirits will not suffer me to make any other remarks on so melancholy a subject, than that complete sets of the MICROCOSM, or any single number, may be had as usual of THE EDITOR.

Castle-street, Windsor, July 23, 1787.

No 39. MONDAY, JULY 30, 1787.

Non omnis morior-OVID.

I die not all.

-GARTH.

DEBILITATED as I am with sickness, I feel that I shall not be able to entertain my readers, as usual, with a calm discussion of topics not the most immediately interesting. I feel plainly that I am no longer a man of this World. And that being the case, I think it incumbent on me to leave my fellow-citizens some knowledge of the Life of one, whose writings have been dedicated to their service.

A life indeed of so short duration, as that of GREGORY GRIFFIN, cannot be supposed to have been replete with any uncommon incidents; or to have abounded with any surprising adventures. It has, as may be imagined, been checkered rather by a variety of sentiments, than situations; and owes its diversification rather to a succession of ideas, than a series of events.

Yet even in these, I flatter myself, that my fellowcitizens will find themselves interested; and that they will be solicitous to become acquainted even with the most trivial circumstances, which concern one, to whom they are indebted, if not for instruction and entertainment, at least for an earnest desire to instruct and entertain.

Of my birth and parentage I shall say nothing; for, from an account of either, no instruction could be gathered. Of my education-the first circumstances, which I have any recollection of, are, that I was, at the age of six years, employed in learning the rudiments of my mother tongue, spinning cock-chafers on corking-pins, and longing for bread

My pro

and butter, at a day-school, near ficiency here was so great, that I actually got through, within a month, by far the greater part a gingerbread alphabet, and might be literally said to devour my learning with an astonishing avidity. In my hours of relaxation from study, the utmost stretch of my intellects was the acquisition of the aforesaid bread and butter; the highest notion I could conceive of rational amusement, was enjoyment of that delight, which arose from the contemplation of the abovementioned cock-chafer, writhing, or, as I then, in compliance with the custom of my schoolfellows, termed it, preaching, in the agonies of impalement. And yet, my temper, gentle reader, is not cruel; my disposition, would you believe me, is far from tyrannical. But the abuse of power is equally prevalent among children and men. And when we every day find, by melancholy experience, that the strongest intellects, and the maturest judgments, are unable to resist the intoxication of uncontrolled command, and rioting in the plenitude of power, break through the laws of reason and of right, can we expect that the sense, of childhood should be less frequently fascinated, and less easily overcome; and that, when armed with the ability of distributing life and death to the subject tribes of animals and insects, it should exercise its dominion with equity, and administer its charge without injustice? Not but, with regard to myself as well as others, the rage of despotism has been checked, and the triumphs of tyranny interrupted, by the admonitions of friendly advice and the interposition of parental authority. But, alas, how could I regard those admonitions, or revere that authority-when, after being severely chidden for wantonly dismembering a wasp, or knocking down a butterfly, I was often called upon to crush a spider, or trample an earwig to atoms, because forsooth, a lady in company had conceived a rooted horror for

the one, or was endowed with a natural antipathy to the other? Let the parent, who would keep his child pure from the stain of cruelty to animals, beware, how he makes him the executioner of his vengeance on even the most noxious; the crusher of spiders, and the trampler of earwigs. The distinctions of harmless and hurtful, are not to be explained to childhood. Self-preservation needs not the admonition. The child who executes these commands, must, either if he does not reflect at all, be steeled by their repetition against the pleadings of pity: or if he does reflect, in what light can he consider them, but as dictated by the lust of destroying, cloaked indeed under the affectation of antipathy!

But to proceed in my narrative. My removal at the age of eight years to a Grammar School, at as it changed my method of study, and enlarged my prospects of improvement in the belles letters, so did it give a totally new turn to the train of my ideas, and open a larger field for the exercise of my adventurous ambition. I set out with becoming a professed admirer, and would-be imitator, of the heroes of the head class; and wearied the good-natured patience of all my friends, relations, intimates, acquaintance, and visitors, during the first six vacations, by relating ten times a day, with a considerable degree of archness, and an infinite quantity of admiration, the tricks of Tomlinson, and the wickedness of Wilkins; and how Spriggins kicked the usher's shins under the table, and then said it was'n't he.' I called moreover into action my mimetic powers, and before the expiration of my eleventh year, was able to imitate, with no small share of success, the tone and manner of the writing usher, in pronouncing, Very vell, Master Simkins, I'll sartinly get you vipt for dartying on your breeches.'--But the time was now arrived, when I was to be no longer the trumpeter of another's fame, the humble admirer of another's

« PreviousContinue »