quainted with the Globe. I hold as Articles of Faith (but which may be condemned as Herefies in many a General Council affembled about a large Table) that the fmalleft Liquors are best: That there never was a goed Bowl of Punch; nor a good Bottle of Champaign, Burgundy, or Claret : That the best Dinner is one Dish: That an Entertainment grows worfe in proportion as the Number of Dishes increases: That a Faft is better than a Lord Mayor's Feaft: That no Conoiffeur ever understood good Eating: That no Minifter of State or Ambaffador ever gave a good Entertainment: No King ever fat down to a good Table: And that the Peafant fares better than the Prince, &c. Being inspired with fuch Sentiments, what Wonder is it, if I fometimes break out into fuch Ejaculations. O Temperance! Thou Goddefs most worthy to be adored! Thou Patronefs of Health! Thou Protector of Beauty! Thou Prolonger of Life! Thou Infurer of Pleafure! Thou Promoter of Business! Thou Guardian of the Perfon! Thou Preferver of the Understanding! Thou Parent of every intelle&ual Improvement, and of every moral Virtue!

Another great Prefervative of Health is, moderate Exercise; which few deformed Perfons can want Strength to perform. I never chofe long Journies, and they have been fatiguing to me; but I never found myself worfe for Fatigue. And (before I was troubled with the Stone) I have, on Occafion, rode fifty Miles in a Day; or walked near Twenty. And, though now flow in my Mo

tions,

tions, I can be on my Feet the greatest Part of the Day; and cannot be said to lead a fedentary Life. As a deformed Perfon is not formed for vi olent Exercife, he is lefs liable to fuch Disorders as are the natural Confequence of it. He will also escape many, Accidents, to which Men of athletic Make, and who glory in their Strength, are always expofing themselves to make Trial and Proof of it. If he cannot carry an Ox, like Milo, he will not, like Milo, be hand-cuffed in the Oak, by attempting to by attempting to rend it. He will not be the Man that fhall ride from London to York in a Day, or to Windfor in an Hour for a Wager; or that fhall be perpetu-. ally performing furprising long Journies in a furprifing fhort Time, for no earthly Business, but the Pleasure of relating them. Conscious of his own Weakness, he will be cautious of running into Places or Occafions of Danger. I deny myself fome Entertainments, rather than venture into a Crowd, knowing how unequal I am to a Struggle in it; and, if any fudden Quarrel fhould arife, how ill I am qualified for fuch an Encounter. One Blow from a Slack or Broughton would infallibly confign me over to Charon. Nature too calls on deformed Perfons to be careful not to offer fuch Affronts, as may call them forth into the Field of false Honour, where they cannot acquit themfelves well for want of Strength and Agility; and they are securer from fuch Affronts themselves fince others will confider the little Credit they will gain, by compelling them to appear on that Scene. On the whole I conclude, that Deformity is a Protection

E 5

Protection to a Man's Health and Perfon; which (strange as it may appear) are better defended by Feebleness than Strength.

Let me now confider the Influence of Bodily Deformity on a Man's Fortune. Among the tower Class, he is cut off from many Profeffions and Employments. He cannot be a Sailor, he wants Activity to climb the Rigging; he cannot be a Chairman or Porter, he wants Strength to bear the Burthen. In higher Life, he is ill qualified for a Lawyer, he can fcarce be feen over the Bar; for a Divine, he may drop from his Haflock out of Sight in his Pulpit. The Improvement of his Mind is his proper Province; and his Bufinefs only fuch as depends on Ingenuity. If he cannot be a Dancing-master to adjust the Heels, he may be a School-mafter to inftru&t the Head. He cannot be a graceful Actor on the Stage; but he may produce a good Play. He would appear ill' as a Herald in al Proceffion; but may pafs as a Merchant on the Exchange. He cannot undergo the Fatigue of the Campaign; but he may advise the Operations of it. He is defigned by Nature, rather to fleep on Parnaffus, than to defcend on the Plains of Elis. He cannot be drowned at the Olym pic Games; but may be the Pindar to celebrate them. He can acquire no Glory by the Sword; but he may by the Pen; and may grow famous by only relating those Exploits, which are beyond. his Power to imitate..

Lord Baron (that extenfive and penetrating Genius,, who pointed out every Part of Nature for Examination)

Examination) in his Effay on Deformity fays, "that, in their Superiors, it quencheth Jealousy έκ towards them, as Perfons that they think they "may at Pleafure defpife; and it layeth their "Competitors and Emulators afleep; as never "believing they should be in a Poffibility of Ad66 vancement, till they fee them in Poffeffion." But it is much to be doubted, whether this is not more than counterballanced, by the Contempt of the World, which it requires no mean Parts to conquer. For if (as I have fomewhere read) a good Perfon is a Letter of Recommendation, De-formity must be an Obstruction in the Way to Favour. In this refpect, therefore, deformed. Persons fet out in the World to a Difadvantage, and they must first furmount the Prejudices of Mankind before they can be upon a Par with others. And muft obtain, by a Course of Beha-viour, that Regard, which is paid to Beauty at first fight. When this Point is once gained, the Tables are turned, and then the Game goes in their Favour; for others, fenfible of their first Injustice to them, no fooner find them better than they expected, than they believe them better than they are; whereas in the beautiful Perfon, they fometimes find themselves impofed upon, and are angry that they have worshiped only a painted Idol. For (again take Lord Bacon's Words) [p] "neither is it always feen, that very "beautiful Perfons are otherwife of great Virtue::

[] His Effay on Beauty,

"they

"they prove accomplished, but not of great Spi"rit; and study rather Behaviour than Virtue "Whereas [9] deformed Perfons, if they be of "Spirit, will free themselves from Scorn, which "must be either by Virtue or Malice; and there"fore let it not be marvelled, if they fometimes

prove excellent Perfons, as was Agefilaus, Zan"ger the Son of Solomon, Efop, Gasca Prefident "of Peru; and Socrates may likewife go amongst "them, with others." Nay, he fays," in a great Wit Deformity is an Advantage to Ri

fing." And, [q] in another Part of his Works, "that they, who, by Accident, have fome inevi"table and indelible Mark on their Perfons or "Fortunes, as deformed Perfons, Bastards, &c. "if they want not Virtue, generally prove for "tunate."

Ofborn, in his Hiftorical Memoirs of Queen Elizabeth, informs us, that "the chofe the good"lieft Perfons for her Household Servants; but "in her Counsellors did not put by Sufficiency, "though accompanied with a crooked Perfon; "as it chanced in a [r] Father and a Son of the "Cecils, both incomparable for Prudence." It is well known the Queen would make the Father (Burleigh) fit in her Presence; telling him, that she did not ufe him for his Legs, but Head.

[9] His Effay on Deformity.

[9] De Augmentis Scientiarum, 1. 8. c. 2.

[r] I fuppofe what Camden fays of Lord Burleigh's comely and pleafing Afpect, relates to his Countenance only.

But