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quainted with the Globe. I hold as Articles of Faith (but which may be condemned as Heresies in many a General Council assembled about a large Table) that the smallest Liquors are best: That there never was a goed Bowl of Punch; nor a good Bottle of Champaign, Burgundy, or Claret: That the best Dinner is one Dish: That an Entertainment grows worse in proportion as the Number of Dishes increases: That a Fast is better than a Lord Mayor's Feast: That no Conoisseur ever understood good Eating: That no Minister of State or Ambassador ever gave a good Entertainment: No King ever fat down to a good Table: And that the Peafant fares better than the Prince, SaV. Being inspired with such Sentiments, what Wonder is it, if I sometimes break out into such Ejaculations. O Temperance.! Thou Goddess most worthy to be adored! Thou Patroness of Health! Thou Proteaor of Beauty! Thou Prolonger of Life! Thou Insurer of Pleasure! Thou Promoter of Business! Thou Guardian of the Person! Thou Preserver of the Understanding! Thou Parent of every intellectual Improvement, and of every moral Virtue!

Another great Preservative of Health is, moderate Exercise; which few deformed Persons can •want Strength to perform. I never chose long Journies, and they have been fatiguing to me; but I never found myself worse for Fatigue. And (before I was troubled with the Stone) I have, on Occasion, rode fifty Miles in a Day; or walked near Twenty. And, though now flow'in my Motion?, tions, I can be on my Feet the greatest Part of the Day; and cannot be faid to lead a sedentary Life. As a deformed Person is not formed for vi* olent Exercise, he is less liable to such Disorders as'fere the natural Consequence of it. He will also escape many Accidents, to which Men of athletic Make, and who glory in their Strength, are always exposing themselves to make Trial and Proof of it. If he cannot carry an Ox, like Milo, he will not, like Milo, be hand-cusfed in the Oak, by attempting to rend it. He will not be the Man that shall ride from London to Tori in a Day, or to Windsor in an Hour for a Wager; or that shall be perpetually performing surprising long Journies in a surprising short Time, for no earthly Business, but the Pleasure of relating them. Conscious of his own Weakness, he will be cautious of running into Places or Occasions of Danger. I deny myself some Entertainments, rather than venture into a Crowd, knowing how unequal I am to a Struggle in it; and, if any sudden Quarrel should arise, how ill I am qualified for such an Encounter. One Blow from a Slack or Brougbton would infallibly consign me over to Charon. Nature too calls on deformed Persons to be careful not to osfer such Affronts, as may call them forth into the Field of false Honour, where they cannot acquit themselves well for want of Strength and Agility j and they are securer from such Affronts themselves: since others will consider the little Credit they will gain, by compelling them to appear on that Scene. On the whole I conclude, that Deformity is a E 5 Protection

Protection to a Man's Health and Person; which ((strange as it may appear) are better defended by Feebleness than Strength-.

Let me now consider the Influence of Bodily Deformity on a Man's Fortune. Among the lower Class, he is cut off from many Professions and Employments. He cannot be a Sailor, he wants Activity to climb the Rigging; he cannot be a Chairman or Porter, he wants Strength to bear the Burthen. In higher Life, he is ill qualified for a Lawyer, he can seareje be seen over ^he par; for a Divine, he may drop from his Haslbck out of Sight in his Pulpit. The Improvement of his Mind is his proper Province; and hisEufiness only such as depends on Ingenuity. If he cannofc be a. Dancing-master :to adjust, the Heels,, he may be-# Sehopl-mafter to instruct the Head, We cannot be a graceful Actor on the S^age; .but he may produce ,& good Play.: He would appear ill as a Herald in a Procession;, but may pass as a. Merchant on the Exchange. He cannot undergo the Fatigue of the Campaign; but he may advise the Operations of it. He is designed by Nature ra-ther to sleep on Parttiffkt, than to descend on the Wains oF-S/tr. He cannot be crowned at the Qly/th. pic,€kmas;, but may be the. Pindar to celebrate them. He can acquire no Glory by the Sword j but hs may by the Pen; and may grow famous, by only relating those Exploits, which are beyonefc his: Power to imitate. {.:

Lord S«ire«.(that extensive and penetrating GeHtos^,vrbfr pointed out every Part of Nature for<:: . :'I c ^ Examination) Examination) in his Essay on Deformity %s, "that, in their Superiors, it quencheth Jealousy * towards them, as Persons that they think they "may at Pleasure despise; and it layeth their ** Competitors and Emulators asleep; as never "believing they should be in a Possibility of Ad** vancement, till they fee them in Possession."' But it is much to be doubted) whether this is not more than the Contempt of the World, which it requires no mean Parts to conquer. For if (as I have somewhere read) a good Person is a Letter of Recommendation, Deformity must be an Obstruction in the Way to Favour. In. this respect, therefore, deformed Persons set out in the World to a Difadvantage, and they must first surmount the Prejudices of Mankind before they can be upon a Par witK others. And must obtain, by a Course of Behaviour, that Regard, which is paid to Beauty at first sight. When this Point is once gained, the Tables are turned, and then the Game goes in their Favour; for others, sensible of their first Injustice to them, no sooner find them better than they expected, than they believe them better than they are; whereas in the beautiful Person they sometimes find themselves imposed upon, and are angry that they have worshiped only a painted Jdol. For (again take Lord Bacon's Words) [J>] " neither is it always seen, that wery *'. beautiful Persons are otherwise of great .Virtue:

[/,] His Essay on Beauty,

"they "they prove accomplished, but not of great Spi"rtt; and study rather Behaviour than Virtue "Whereas [q] deformed Persons, if they be of "Spirit, will free themselves from Scorn, which "must be either by Virtue or Malice; and therefore let it not be marvelled, if they sometimes "prove excellent Persons, as was Agesdaus, Zan"ger the Son of Solomon, Æsop, Gasca President "of Peru; and Socrates may likewise go amongst "them, with others." Nay, he fays, "in a ** great Wit Deformity is an Advantage to Ri"sing." And, [q] in another Part of his Works, "that they, who, by Accident, have some inevi"table and indelible Mark on their Persons or "Fortunes, as deformed Persons, Bastards, &c. "if they want not Virtue, generally prove forii tunate."

Ojborn, in his Historical Memoirs of Queen Elizabeth, informs us, that " she chose the good"liest Persons for her Household Servants; but *' in her Counsellors did not put by Sufficiency, "though accompanied with a crooked Person; "as it chanced in a [r] Father and a Son of the ** Cecils, both incomparable for Prudence." It is well known the Queen would make the Father (Burleigh) sit in her Presence; telling him, that she did not use him for his Legs, but Head.

[f] His Essay on Deformity.

ff] De Augmentis Scienliarum, 1. 8. c. 2.

[r] I suppose what Camdcn fays of Lord Burleigb\ comely and pleasing Aspect, relates to bis Countenance enly.


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