See where those diplomatic smiles encase
One humble candidate's obsequious face;

While the hand, press'd upon his grateful heart,
Performs alike its ever ready part.

Himself the while in broken words declares
Your voices load him with unwelcome cares;
And begging his refusal may be heard,
Trembles lest you should take him at his word.
Thus to the public eyes he seems a man,
Such as men were when first the world began :
A man who scorns to cringe and condescend;
A man in pow'r, yet still his country's friend.
O vain to think in these degen'rate days,
When sordid int'rest ev'ry bosom sways,
When Honesty would hide her head for shame,
But that not one acknowledges the name;
And patriotic sentiments are lent

To rogues, who want a seat in parliament :

O little wise, to deem there might be found

A truly honest man on British ground:

When twice five pounds can silence patriot tongues,

And a bad dinner quell the stoutest lungs.

But lest the age, perchance, should think I write
With bitter envy, or concealed spite,

And doubt my gen'ral censure to be true,

I'll pause, and give the devil all his due.

Oft have I seen a burgess's sound mind,

Fraught with his schemes of good to all mankind,
Determin'd that the man who has his vote,
At least shall have his apophthegms by rote;
Be true to his constituents, who all
Expect, at least, those dinners and a ball.
But have you seen this man of sentiment,

Though humble, honest, and though poor, content?
Have you seen him, the bold reformer, stand,
As one who pitied, and would save the land?
Have you seen him, firm, confident, and true,
Pocket his virtue and a ten-pound too?
Grant that the Catholics, at least, may share
That which the member tells him is but fair;

And stifle in his neckcloth sundry gibes,

Which come not well from one who pockets bribes. ex If this be honesty, ye Gods, I'll eat my pen,

And grant that truckling rogues are independent men.
Suppose then, Trebius, that the day is won,
The hubbub silenc'd, and the polling done;
Sit we invited at the member's board,
And for once dine and revel with a Lord :
For Horace rightly sings that wine alone,
Can alter e'en the smooth dissembler's tone;
In short, that after dinner ev'ry speech
Comes from the heart, which only wine can reach ;
And that the well-coin'd lie, and polish'd tale,
Fly from the gen'rous grape, and mighty ale.
Listen then, Trebius, whilst the worthy man,
Of public good details his sapient plan:-

66

'My friends, I rise-mine is no easy part—
"Your independence and my grateful heart-
"I reverence your worth-I love this town-

"And drink the mayor's good health "—and so sits down. Gesticulation, and this eloquence,

Atone full well for want of common sense.

Wild with delight, the list'ning crowd applaud,
And with the clatter shakes the festive board;
Whilst the dull burgesses admire their guest,
Robb'd of the little sense they once possess'd.
More wine is drunk; each stands, or tries to stand,
Each would deliver the enslaved land,
And compliments, and toasts, and songs abound,
And some few fall to sleep upon the ground.
Now mark the dancing eyes, the tripping tongue,
The glasses ring, and all the bells are rung;
The candles give a triple light, the mayor
Is multiplied, and now and then a chair
Remov'd whilst some one saw'd the empty air,
Beneath the table brings his portly weight,
And the wide wig deserts his toppling pate!
Enough of this; the member, far too wise
To hazard the detection of his lies,
Has slipt unnotic'd from the chairman's seat,
And sought his safety in a sure retreat :

Unseen he flies; the chair fills up his place
(As good a member for so wise a race),

And hears, unconscious, from the drunken throng,
Full many a silly speech, and murder'd song:
At length sleep comes upon their closing eyes,
And in his rank each, like a Spartan, lies.
And thus it is, a bribe, an empty phrase,
That independence and your conscience pays!
Away then, Trebius, nor dare complain,
Suppose your member's word be giv'n in vain,
And with repentance, but too late, you rue
The oaths forgotten, which he swore to you;
And the high-minded, independent man,
Truckle to all, and pocket all he can-
Nor wonder you, if by a gen'ral cry,

(Save his alone, who dar'd your rights to buy),
The house disfranchise so corrupt a place,

And those the world thought only fools, prove base.

ON MUSHROOM GENTLEMEN.

ZAMIEL.

Licet superbus ambules pecuniâ
Fortuna non mutat genus.-Hoя.

Among the many obnoxious characters that are to be met with in society, a purse-proud man is certainly not one of the least. While other persons are in some measure excusable in forming an high opinion of themselves on account of literary attainments, or mental superiority, the character I have mentioned is odious and intolerable to all; for his pride is not founded on any merits of his own, but on the favour of Fortune, or the caprice of a testator. Is there any one that has not at some period of his life been disgusted with one of these supercilious

pieces of vulgarity? If there is, let him congratulate himself that he has escaped the contact of a creature scarcely less contemptible than the ground upon which he treads.

Far be it from me, while I thus inveigh against this class of persons, to deny to persevering industry the hard-earned enjoyment of its gain; but I blame those who think that a lucky hit in the Lottery, or a successful speculation in the Stocks, entitles them to start forward as gentlemen, and to move in an higher sphere than that for which nature and their education had adapted them.

The first method that is adopted by these aspirants to gentility, is improvement in dress; as if the distinguishing marks of a gentleman were the cut of his coat, or the arrangement of his cravat. I confess that these are accessories which few are willing to neglect; but it argues a weak and narrow mind to rely more on the lustre of a shoe, than on elegance of manners, or politeness of conversation. Yet it is on this that the soi-disant gentleman prides himself; and if he shall have had the good fortune to meet with a scientific tailor, and a dexterous clearstarcher, he will forthwith be a fashionable man. Thus gold, tailors, and washerwomen, can make or unmake gentlemen, with all the facility in the world.

But the candidate for consideration soon discovers that it is not dress alone that constitutes a gentleman, and consequently begins to imitate his manners. In this attempt his failure is more egregious than before. You may often detect him labouring to introduce an elegant expression, or throw his body into a graceful attitude; he will endeavour to interlard his conversation with French,

of which he knows just as much as is sufficient to enable him to murder it; if he happens to dance, he will pirouette and caper with considerably more energy than grace, and will affect to like music, although, with his utmost discrimination, he can scarcely distinguish "Money-Musk" from "God save the King."

But let us view the converse of this character, I mean the good man deserted by Fortune. How modestly he shrinks from the society of those who were formerly his equals, but now his superiors, at least in point of fortune; how unobtrusive are his manners, as if he knew, that in the estimation of the multitude, he is degraded ; but how contented is his look, how unbroken his mien, which shows that in his mind he despises the vicissitudes of Fortune! From his homely garb you would mistake him at a distance for a menial, but the delusion vanishes as you approach, for then appears that indescribable charm, that perfect elegance of demeanour, which, under any disguise, will still characterize the gentleman. He is affable to his inferiors, for he feels how uncertain are the distinctions of rank; he can sympathize with the mourner, for he himself has tasted of affliction; he can relieve the distressed, for he is conscious that the tenure of riches is vain and unsubstantial.

Such is the man against whom the malice of Fortune falls powerless and dead, the man whom wealth and possessions could never induce to think more highly of himself, than if he were the humble inmate of a cottage; for he feels that though the stocks may rise and fall; though ships may be wrecked, and lotteries be won, yet man's intrinsic value remains still the same; and that all