not knowing his lesson, and getting flogged in default.

The Chairman then proceeded to read the rules of the Club, which were these :

1. That the name of this Society be the Eton Dull Club.

2. That no member be admitted into the Club without producing a certificate of his having been flogged.

3. That any member who has been flogged three times in one day, shall be entitled to certain immunities and privileges, and shall receive a triple crown of birch.

4. That a room be provided looking into Barnes' Pool.

5. That no member shall presume to appear at the Club without a night-cap; on pain of sitting three hours in a chair without a back.

6. That loud talking be considered disorderly, and that any member (the Chairman excepted) who ・ shall wake another, shall be subject to a fine of two-and-sixpence, unless he can lull him to sleep again in five minutes.

7. That any member convicted of a pun, shall drink salt water.

8. That all solid and all light subjects be equally avoided, and that all questions brought before the House resemble the night-mare, in being heavy without substance.

B

9. That it be considered illegal to play at cricket, or to row; and that the only legal exercise be a walk to the top of Windsor Hill and back, with a cigar in the mouth, to prevent conversation.

10. That no member do more than his number of verses, for fear of spoiling the masters.

11. That a book-fund be established for the purchase of old verse-books.

Note. It had been the intention of the Club to buy a collection of Translations, comprising Smart's Horace, and other similar works; but the Chairman having heard that a person of the name of Hamilton had given his sanction to this method of instruction, thinks that it will not be expedient to pursue the plan, for fear of rendering the Dull Club a dead letter, by diminishing its stock of ignorance. The same observation applies to writing down the English word over the Latin or Greek, which is expressly forbidden.

12. That the members of the Club use no other than Pote's edition of the Classics.

13. That it be considered highly honourable to eat, drink, and smoke, all day, and to sleep all night.

Note. That as it is creditable to sleep also in the day, if nature is unwilling, a narcotic draught may be taken from the" Eton Miscellany."

Note also. That in the event of the "Eton Mis

cellany" not being continued beyond the present fortnight, the Chairman is empowered to provide such a stock of poppies as shall to him appear suffi

cient.

14. That an annual dinner be provided, on the 15th

of November, to celebrate the Institution of the Club; and that the dishes be Stewed Tench, Calf's Head, and Goose; succeeded by Whipped Cream, and a Trifle; and that the liquors be Black Strap, and Ramsbottom's Table Beer.

15. That no member shall drink Champagne, Claret, Ginger Beer, Spruce Beer, or Bottled Porter, and that it be laudable to be dead drunk, but penal to be merry.

RESOLUTION. That a deputation do wait upon Mr. Bartholomew Bouverie, to invite him to become a member of the Club, in consideration of his having shown qualifications of the highest order.

The Chairman then ended the proceedings with the following speech:

Gentlemen; I hate what's called cleverness, and I know you do the same; whenever I see a clever boy, I kick him, and I hope you do the same. I would have all clever boys kicked, because they don't get flogged, or if they do, they feel it. Now I would have none of your tender-skinned varlets : give me a buffalo-headed, and a buffalo-hided chap, with a skin and a skull that can bear the brunt of

buffets and birch; he's the man for the Club. Now, you see, gentlemen, that it is not every man that's fit for the Club, so you ought to be proud that you are it is not every one that can come to the block in the cool, gentleman-like manner that you can: so call for another gallon of beer.

P. S. by Bartholomew Bouverie.

In inserting the above communication, I am well aware that there will not be wanting those who will crack their small wit upon me, by bidding me go to the Club; and on that account, as Addison says, I beg leave to put in a caveat against that joke. With regard to the invitation of the Club, I shall beg leave to decline it for the present, while I aspire to a higher honour, that of receiving Mr. Ignoramus's toe.

LLAN EGWEST ABBEY.

Pensive Nymph, who lov'st to dwell

By waving wood, and winding dell,

Where grass and wild flowers mingling spread
Around the lonely fountain-head,

Marking oft the purple streak

Of evening tinge the distant peak.
Chiefly, Nymph, thou lov'st to stray
By Llan Egwest's old Abbaye,
Watching, with a tearful eye,
Where its fallen honours lie,

And heath-bells blow, and briars wave,
O'er many a monk's forgotten grave.
Then, on Memory's dewy wing,
To her shadowy realms you spring,
And times its holy towers arose
Amid the trees, in calm repose;
Echoed then the sylvan Dee
"O miserere Domine !"

And oft you gently paused, to hear
The solemn organ pealing near,
Stealing on the ear of night

Like the heavenly song of the sons of light,
Till rock, and stream, and wood, and plain,
Seem'd living in the holy strain.

But time, and war's destructive brand,
Have rent its towers with reckless hand;
And steel-clad fanatics have trod
And trampled on the house of God.
And now, like blighted hope, it rears
Its mouldering pile of other years,
So sadly fair, we scarce can deem-
We will not own it as a dream-
A fleeting shade in Time's dark river,
That passeth soon to fade for ever.

GLENARTNEY.

Credidimus generi, NOMINIBUSQUE tuis.

Historians are, generally speaking, so intent on tracing home to a fine-spun philosophy of their own creating, all the wonders, and changes, and revolutions of the world, that they totally omit to mention those smaller circumstances which a plain man would consider as the main-springs, or very nearly so, of