loves nothing solitary, and always reaches out to something, as a support, which ever in the sincerest friend is most delightful. XXIV. But while nature declares by so many indications what she likes, seeks after, and requires; yet we turn, I know not how, a deaf ear, nor do we listen to those admonitions which we receive from her. For the intercourse of friendship is various and manifold, and many occasions are presented of suspicion and offense, which it is the part of a wise man sometimes to wink at, sometimes to make light of, or at others to endure. This one ground of offense must be mitigated in order that truth and sincerity in friendship may be preserved; for friends require to be advised and to bo reproved and such treatment ought to be taken in a friendly spirit, when it is kindly meant. But somehow or other it is very true, what my dear friend Terence says in his Andria:1 "Complaisance begets friends, but truth ill-will." Truth is grievous, if indeed ill-will arises from it, which is the bane of friendship. But complaisance is much more grievous, because it allows a friend to be precipitated into ruin, by to operate little upon the common classes of mankind, to whose conceptions the present assemblage of things is adequate, and who seldom range beyond those entertainments and vexation which solicit their attention by pressing on their senses."-Rambler, No. 7. Sir Thomas Browne, also, has a quaint but beautiful passage to the same effect: "Unthinking heads who have not learned to be alone are in a prison to themselves, if they be not also with others; whereas, on the contrary, they whose thoughts are in a fair and hurry within, are sometimes fain to retire into company to be out of the crowd of themselves. He who must needs have company, must needs have sometimes bad company. Be able to be alone; lose not the advantage of solitude and the society of thyself; nor be only content. but delight to be alone and single with Omnipresency. He who is thus prepared, the day is not uneasy, nor the night black unto him. Darkness may bound his eyes, not his imagination. In his bed he may lie, like Pompey and his sons, in all quarters of the earth; may speculate the universe, and enjoy the whole world in the hermitage of himself. Thus, the old ascetic Christians found a paradise in a desert, and with little converse on earth, held a conversation in heaven; thus they astronomized in caves, and though they beheld not the stars, had the glory of heaven before them."Christian Morals, part iii. sec. 9. 1 Andria, a play of Terence, who was a native of Carthage, and sold as a slave to Terentius Lucanus, a Roman senator. He was on terms of intimacy with Scipio, the elder Africanus, and Lælius. He is said to have translated 108 of the comedies of the poet Menander, six only of which are extant. He died about B.C. 159. yielding to his faults.' But the greatest of all faults is chargeable on him who disregards truth, and thas by complaisance is led into dishonesty. Accordingly, in managing this whole matter, carefulness and diligence must be employed: first, that our advice may be free from bitterness, and next, that reproof may be unattended by insult: in our complaisance, however (since I gladly adopt the saying of Terence), let there be a kindness of manner, let flattery, however, the handmaid of vices, be far removed, since it is not only unworthy of a friend, but even of a free man: for you live after one fashion with a tyrant, after another with a friend. Now where a man's ears are shut against the truth, so that he can not hear the truth from a friend, the welfare of such a one is to be despaired of: for the following remark of Cato is shrewd, as many of his are, "that bitter enemies deserve better at the hands of some, than those friends who seem agreeable that the former often speak the truth, the latter And it is an absurd thing, that those who receive advice, do not experience that annoyance which they ought to never." 1 "The duty which leads us to seek the moral reformation of our friend wherever we perceive an imperfection that requires to be removed, is, as I have said, the highest duty of friendship, because it is a duty that has for its object the highest good which it is in our power to confer; and he who refrains from the necessary endeavor, because he fears to give pain to one whom he loves, is guilty of the same weakness which in a case of bodily accident or disease would withhold the salutary potion because it is nauseous, or the surgical operation which is to preserve life, and to preserve it with comfort, because the use of the instrument which is to be attended with relief and happiness implies a little momentary addition of suffering. To abstain from every moral effort of this sort in the mere fear of offending, is, from the selfishness of the motive, a still greater breach of duty, and almost, too, a still greater weakness. Ho whom we truly offend by such gentle admonitions as friendship dictates, admonitions of which the chief authority is sought in the very excellence of him whom we wish to make still more excellent, is not worthy of the friendship which we have wasted on him; and if we thus lose his friendship we are delivered from one who could not be sincere in his past professions of regard, and whose treachery therefore we might afterward have had reason to lament. If he be worthy of us he will not love us less, but love us more; he will feel that we have done that which it was our duty to do, and we shall have the double gratification of witnessing the amendment which we desired, and of knowing that we have contributed to an effect which was almost like the removal of a vice from ourselves, or a virtue added to our own moral character."-Dr. Brown's "Moral Philosophy," lecture lxxxix. feel, but feel that from which they ought to be free; for they are not distressed because they have done wrong; but take it amiss that they are rebuked: whereas, on the contrary, they ought to be sorry for their misconduct, and to be glad at its correction. XXV. As, therefore, both to give and to receive advice is the characteristic of true friendship, and that the one should perform his part with freedom but not harshly, and the other should receive it patiently and not with recrimination; so it should be considered that there is no greater bane to friendship than adulation, fawning, and flattery.' For this vice should be branded under as many names as possible, being that of worthless and designing men, who say every thing with a view of pleasing, and nothing with regard to truth. Now while hypocrisy in all things is blamable (for it does away with all judgment of truth, and adulterates truth itself), so especially is it repugnant to friendship, for it destroys all truth, without which the name of friendship can avail nothing. For since the power of friendship consists in this, that one soul is as it were made of many, how could that take place if there should not be in any one a soul, one and the same always, but fickle, changeable, and manifold? For what can be so pliant, so inconsistent, as the soul of that man, who veers not only to the feelings and wishes, but even to the look and very nod of another. Does any one say, 'No' so do I; says any, 'Yes?' so do I: in a word, I have 66 1 "He that is too desirous to be loved," says Dr. Johnson, "will soon learn to flatter; and when he has exhausted all the variations of honest praise, and can delight no longer with the civility of truth, he will invent new topics of panegyric, and break out into raptures at virtues and beauties conferred by himself. It is scarcely credible to what degree discernment may be dazzled by the mist of pride, and wisdom infatuated by the intoxication of flattery; or how low the genius may descend by successive gradations of servility, and how swiftly it may fall down the precipice of falsehood. No man can indeed observe without indignation on what names, both of ancient and modern times, the utmost exuberance of praise has been lavished, and by what hands it has been bestowed. It has never yet been found that the tyrant, the plunderer, the oppressor, the most hateful of the hateful, the most profligate of the profligate, have been denied any celebrations which they were willing to purchase, or that wickedness and folly have not found correspondent flatterers through all their subordinations, except when they have been associated with avarice or poverty, and have wanted either inclination or ability to hiro a panegyrist."-Rambler, No. 104. 1 charged myself to assent to every thing," as the same Terence says; but he speaks in the character of Gnatho,' and to select a friend of this character is an act of downright folly. And there are many like Gnatho, though his superiors in rank, fortune, and character; the flattery of such people is offensive indeed, since respectability is associated with duplicity. Now, a fawning friend may be distinguished from a true one, and discerned by the employment of diligence, just as every thing which is falsely colored and counterfeit, from what is genuine and true. The assembly of the people, which consists of the most ignorant persons, yet can decide what difference there is between the seeker after popular applause, the flatterer and the worthless citizen, and one who is consistent, dignified, and worthy. With what flatteries did Curius Papirius lately insinuate himself into the ears of the assembly, when he sought to pass an act to re-elect the tribunes of the people? I opposed it. But I say nothing of myself; I speak with greater pleasure concerning Scipio. O immortal gods! what dignity was his! what majesty in his speech! so that you might readily pronounce him the leader of the Roman people, and not their associate but you were present, and the speech is still extant accordingly, this act, meant to please the people, was rejected by the votes of the people. But, to return to myself, you remember when Quintus Maximus, brother of Scipio, and Lucius Mancius were consuls, how popular the sacerdotal act of Caius Licinius Crassus seem to be; for 1 Shakespeare has exhibited a precisely similar character in the following dialogue between Hamlet and Osrick: "Ham. Your bonnet to its right use; 't is for the head.-Os. I thank your lordship, 't is very hot.-Ham. No, believe me, 't is very cold; the wind is northerly.—Os. It is indifferent cold, my lord, indeed.-Ham. But yet, methinks, it is very sultry hot; or my complexion- Os. Exceedingly, my lord, it is very sultry, as it were I can not tell how."Hamlet, V., Scene 2. So Juvenal too: "Natio comoda est. Rides? Major cachinno Concutitur. Flet, si lachrymas conspexit amici 2 Gnatho, a parasite in the Eunuch of Terence the election of the college was thereby transferred to the presentation of the people. And he first commenced the practice of turning toward the forum, and addressing the people. And yet regard for the immortal gods, under my advocacy, gained an easy triumph over his plausible address. Now this occurred in my prætorship, five years before I was consul; so that that cause was supported rather by its own importance than by supreme influence. XXVI. Now, if upon the stage, that is, before the assembly, where every advantage is given to fictions and imitations, yet the truth prevails (if only it be set forth and illustrated), what ought to be the case in friendship, which is measured according to simple truth? for in it (as the saying is) ye see an open heart and show your own also; you can have nothing faithful, nothing certain; and you can not love or be loved, since you are uncertain how far it is sincerely done. And yet that flattery, however pernicious it be, can hurt no one but the man who receives it and is most delighted with himself. Hence it happens that he opens his ears widest to flatteries who is a flatterer of himself, and takes the highest delight in himself: no doubt virtue loves herself, for she is best acquainted with herself, and is conscious how amiable she is: but I am not speaking of virtue, but of a conceit of virtue; for not so many desire to be endowed with virtue itself, as to seem to be so. Flattery delights such men when conversation formed to their wishes is addressed to such persons, they think those deceitful addresses to be the evidence of their merits. therefore, is not friendship at all, when one party is unwilling to hear the truth, and the other prepared to speak falsely. Nor would, the flattery of parasites in comedies seem to us facetious, unless there were swaggering soldiers also. "Does then Thais pay me many thanks? It was enough to answer 'yes, many;' but he says 'infinite.'” The flatterer always exaggerates that which he, for whose pleasure he speaks, wishes to be great. Although the flattering falsehood may This, Cooptatio, the election of new members into the priesthood. The different orders of priests were self-elected, so that the proposed law of Cassius was an infringement of vested rights and privileges. 2 Agere cum populo, to tamper with, or to curry favor with the people. ' Vendibilis, plausible, popular. |