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Do you intend insulting Mr. Linton, by the way you undervalue his house and furniture ?"

Walter laughed gaily, and then patting Stephen on the back, whispered into his ear, “My dear Stephen, uncle, or no uncle, Mr. Joseph Linton is-_'

“Well," retorted Stephen, angrily, on seeing that he paused, an impostor—a black-leg-that's all !”


PEOPLE must eat, even at a wedding or a funeral ; I name these two ceremonials together, because in my own mind I am not quite certain whether the former is not the more awful ordeal of the two to go through, and Marmaduke Hutton's guests were no exception to the rule-rather the reverse in fact, for all, with the exception of the unhappy bridegroom, who could not eat, even inclucing Marmaduke Hutton, eat with the voracity of tigers.

There was something very repulsive in the joy the old man seemed to affect this morning, that made even Mr. Pestlepolge himself recoil from him with disgust, although he did not show it. His withered, wrinkled face, so yellow, so sinister; his shaggy brows, beneath which flashed eyes as keen as those of a wolf; his emaciated figure well nigh bent double with age,were in the strongest contrast possible with the eager, happy faces, and merry conversation around him.

And now there is a hurry and bustle, for the breakfast is over, and the “happy pair," — what mockery there is in the term !-rise from the table, and Doctor Yellowchops, leading his bride to the door, consigns her there into the care of her attendants, and returning to the table, gulphs down in quick succession two or three glasses of wine. In a few ininutes more she returns, and there is again another scene with the old crocodile her father, who blesses and kisses her, usque ad nauseam, in the midst of an immense shaking of hands, and wishes of pleasant journeys, and so forth; and then crack goes the whip, round roll the wheels, and away drive Doctor and

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Mrs. Yellowchops on their wedding tour, leaving Mr. Hutton and his guests to feast and revel as they like till midnight.

The carriage—for she had insisted upon having one, in preference to taking a coupé in the train to Hereford,—was filled 80 completely with her trunks, that it was with the utmost difficulty the doctor could squeeze himself into one corner, where, at every lurch, a particularly sharp-pointed umbrella made a playful dig at him in the ribs, at one side, whilst in front, a huge trunk, which had been insecurely fastened, made an aggravating descent upon his shins, whilst his amiable partner sat watching his agony, with the most lofty indifference.

- You can sit farther this way,” said she, at last, in no very gentle voice, from her own comfortable place.

“ Thank you, my love, I am very comfortable where I am," answered the now thoroughly miserable Doctor Yellowchops, as he mentally contrasted his first wedding-trip with his present one, which was certainly rather different, as in the first he had been the tyrant, whilst in this he was the hen-pecked victim. And he thought of the jolly honeymoon he had had on that occasion, caring never a snap of the fingers for the withered old idiot he had promised to love and cherish till death; whilst, in a perpetual state of semi-intoxication himself, she used to sit moping by herself, in her bed-room at the inns, comforting herself three or four times a day with a good cry, and then shud. dering with terror, when she used to hear him reeling up to bed from his unhallowed orgies, with wild, inflamed visage, and the temper of a savage.

What a change had come over this reputable gentleman now, when we find him, spruce, clean, and respectable, sitting beside the gentle Penelope, whose merest look or word subdued him. The wolf had been changed into a lamb in the most miraculous manner, without changing essentially his nature, for the doctor was still, at bottom, the same low, sneaking, needy rascal, we have always seen him to be.

“Shall I order the man to drive to a quiet hotel, my dear?he asked, deferentially, as they reached Hereford, about noon; “ we had better avoid show and expense as much as possible.”

“Oh, indeed!” she cried, with a shake of the head, and a flashing eye; "something in the cheap and nasty way, I sup

' pose! no indeed, sir! order the post-boy to drive us to the first inn in the city! It shall never be said that you took me to a third-rate hotel, the day I honoured you with my hand.”

. “ It was only prudence, my love, that dictated my proposition,” he ventured to say, in exculpation; "you know, now that we are beginning the world,” (with a sickly attempt to look jocose,) “we must look to the main chance, Penelope."

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“Pray don't prate away in that strain, Doctor Yellowchops to think of taking me to a third-rate hotel on my wedding. day!" she reiterated, with spiteful vehemence; "this is an indignity, forsooth!”

When they did arrive, Mrs. Yellowchops, whose appetite had grown very whimsical in an incredibly short space of time, ordered the most extravagant delicacies she could discover in the bill of fare, and when the doctor ventured to remonstrate, snubbed him before two waiters and a chambermaid, by asking

a him if he always intended to interfere with her department in this way, or not; plainly intimating, that if he did so, he was welcome to take the whole business on his own shoulders, and allow her a separate establishment at once.

This made him so savage, that he almost was on the point of discovering everything to her, and by telling her that debt and a jail was the probable end of the affair, before very long, at once extinguish her passion for this new-born extravagance. The words, however, died on his lips, and he felt that he could sooner go through fire and water, than do so.

Before night, Penelope had sufficiently shown him how deep were the feelings of scorn and contempt with which she endured him. There was nothing he ventured to do, no matter how trifling, at which she did not cavil, and which she did not thwart, without the slightest idea of concealment, or apology for the part she was acting. The following day, she told him he had better ride on the dickey, with the driver, and send Kitty in to her, and as this promised a short respite from his troubles, the doctor gladly acquiesced, and smoking a cigar as he rode, forgot for a while the miseries that had grown upon him.

In the meanwhile, Penelope and Miss Noggles had a very merry time of it, inside, and with the aid of an abundant supply of sandwiches and curaçao, and an immense deal of laughing and small-talk, managed to get to their journey's end very pleasantly, when they were handed out by the landlord, Doctor Yellowchops being much too stiff, and cold, and dismal, to get down from his perch in time enough to render them that service.

“A private room, if you please, and let us have supper as soon as ever you can,” was her first order.

Certainly, ma'am !" answered the obsequious landlord; "bill o' fare, John, for the lady, immediately."

“See that all my luggage is right, Doctor Yellowchops," said his lady, running her eye hurriedly over the interesting document, "stewed eels and asparagus, cold fowl and peas, a cotelette de maintenon, and currant tart, will do quite well enough, sir,” this, with a sweet smile to the host, who bustled

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away to execute the command ; “ come Kitty, child, we must arrange our dress a little," and with a haughty bow to the chambermaid, she ascended to her chamber.

When, this momentous affair being finished, Mrs. Doctor Yellowchops came down stairs again, she found her spouse gloomily awaiting her at the bottom of the table. Most women would either have endeavoured to win their husband from dispiriting thoughts, at such a time, or have wisely taken no notice of it, but, not so Mrs. Yellowchops, who having already buckled on her connubial armour, was burning to achieve a victory at the outset.

"You pay me a very high compliment, sir,” she said, with a sour smile, “to carry that funereal face about with you, on your wedding-day.”

“I cannot help it, ma'am," retorted the doctor, who was recklessly indifferent now, to what he said ; “when people feel that they have committed a great mistake, and have suffered a heavy misfortune, it is scarcely to be expected that they can look merry,-much less feel so, ma'am.”

The withering contempt with which she heard the poor idiot say this,-his forced courage oozing out with every word, until at length, the speech died away in a hollow whisper, were in the strongest possible contrast.

“I feel obliged to you for such a compliment, just now," she said, in her usual tone, though she was deadly pale, as she heard him; "and as you dare me to the struggle, I will not flinch from it; I need scarcely tell you, Doctor Yellowchops, for unless you are even blinder than I give you credit for, that this ill-assorted match of ours was not of my seeking."

The doctor sat mute and crestfallen, listening to her, without even once looking up; he was, in fact, the very picture of misery.

“If there should be any shortcomings on my part, sir, you have no one but yourself and Mr. Pestlepolge to thank for it; you knew that, when I married you,-and now, our confidence, short and fleeting as it has been, is over, and for the time to come I steel my heart against you. I know your temper and disposition even better than you do yourself; your sordid, truckling parsimony, your mean and pitiful economy shall have no advocate in me, sir! As long as I remain at the head of your establishment, I will not permit any interference with my discretion on these points; in marrying you— I tell you it plainly, -I did so, only to escape from the hateful dependence, I was subjected to, in Mr. Hutton's house, and I will scarcely consent to continue the same miserable vassalage, now that I have a claim upon you, sir !”

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“ Were I as rich, my love, as I deserve to be," stammered the doctor.

“Pray don't have the hypocrisy to use such transparent falsehoods, sir,” she said, with a scornful smile; " for my own part I hate you too cordially, to reciprocate such endearments, and have no wish to hear you bestow them; as for your merits —."

“Well my dear,” faltered Doctor Yellowchops, a transient feeling of his old tyranny getting the mastery over his terrors; “ Well, madam !” he reiterated, almost sternly.

“And well, sir !” she retorted, rapidly, as she shoved the plate, she had been filling for him, towards his hand; “as for your merits, when I discover them, I may subscribe to your lamentations, for their being so badly recognised and remune. rated; until then, I must be permitted to hold them in contempt.”

And without deigning to notice his abject humility, this charming bride continued her meal, displaying to her discomfited spouse, an appetite, the keenness of which was probably rendered more acute, by the triumphant encounter she had just been engaged in. “You had better give me your purse,” she said, as if a sudden

a thought had struck her, as they arose from the table; “every husband who confides in the prudence of his wife, entrusts her with that.”

“But, madam, the trouble,” he cried, in desperation. “I care nothing for that, if

you repose that confidence in your wife, you ought to do," and she seemed to tremble with conscious virtue, as she spoke, "you would give it to me instantly ; but you do not believe in female honesty,” and with a scornful gesture, she swept past him, and made her little preparations for retiring for the night.

With a mighty sigh, the unhappy Yellowchops drew his tolerably well-filled purse from his pocket, and handed it to her, with reluctant and unwilling fingers.

“ Have you counted it?" she demanded, balancing it daintily on her finger.

“Counted it, my love!” he reiterated, with an air of astonishment.

“Yes, sir, I said counted it !" she retorted, standing before him, terrible as a Medusa, and almost petrifying him to stone. “I asked you if you had counted it, Doctor Yellowchops.”

“N-o-, my love,” he said, gulphing down the lie, “ It had been my amusement,” and his voice faltered as he said it, and he even ventured to look sentimental through all his misery, “ during our courtship, to lay aside whatever I saved from my professional earnings, to stock that purse against this time.”


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