346 MARRIAGE OF JOHNNY BEEDLE. MARRIAGE OF JOHNNY BEEDLE. BY MAJOR M'CLINTOCK, U. s. A. WHEN I left off my second chapter, I believe I was spunking up to Sally Jones like all vengeance, and threatening to give her the butt end of my sentiments; wasn't I? Well, I was as good as my word. The next Sabberday, I went right to work, after meeting, upon the outer man, as Deacon Carpenter says, and by sundown, things looked about right. I say nothing; but when I stood up to the glass, to finish, and sort of titivate the hair and whiskers, and so forth, I saw a little feller there that looked wicked. And says I, if Sally Jones knows which side her bread is buttered But no matter; she sha'n't say I didn't give her a chance. solve never to marry-no, never, never! and the next Squire Jones's, I fell in with Doctor Dingley. The doctor saw in a minit that something was the matter, Well, I went over to the Squire's pretty well satis-and he went to work and pumped the whole secret out fied in my mind; so after fluttering and crowing about her, a little while, I up and showed the cloven foot. "Sally," said I, "will you take me for better or worser ?" "The reason is—Joe Bowers, the stage-driver. Now, you sha'n't tell nobody, John, will ye?" Who would have thought this of Sally Jones! of me. Then he seemed so friendly, that I up and told him all my experience from beginning to end. "Well, John," says he, "I advise you now to wait till the twenty-ninth of February; when the gals turn round to court the fellers. It's none of my business, bat if I was you, I wouldn't let the women make a fool of me any more." Well, I took a resolution, and stuck to it firm; for when I once set up my ebenezer, I am just like a mountain. I stuck to it till along pretty well into January, when I had to go to singing school. I must go to singing school, for I was leader in the treble, and there was no carrying on the parts without me. But that was nothing, if it hadn't fell to my lot to go home with Hannah Peabody four times runnin. Politeness before everything. Well, she kept growing prettier and prettier every time, but I only grit my teeth, and held on the harder. By and by, Sabbath night came round, and I felt sort of uneasy, moping about home; and says I, this resoair and exercise; and before I was done thinking of lution will never set well upon my stomach without this, I was more than half way to Captain Peabody's. It was about daylight down, as I was passing by the kitchen; but hearing a sort of snickering, I slipped up and peeked into the window, just out of curiosity. There was no candle burning-for Mrs. Peabody is saving of tallow-but I could see Hannah and Poll Partridge, the help, telling fortunes in the ashes, by fire-light. I turned round to go off, and run right agin Jack Robinson. Jack was come to set up with the help, and would insist upon it, I should go in and see Hannah. It seemed to me the very old boy had got into the women. They fairly put me to the nonplush. All this time, my popularity with the ladies was amazing. To see them flattering and soft-soaping me all over, you would have sworn I had nothing to do but to pick and choose. I had as much gallanting to do as I want ed, everywhere; and for politeness and gentility, I never turned my back to no man. Then, they were so thick and familiar with me, that they didn't care what they said or did before me; and finally, whenever they "She hasn't had a spark this month," says he, "and had any errands or chores to do, who but I was the fain you shall go, or I'll lick ye." vorite bird to fetch and carry? I was forever and ever Well, there was no dodging here, and all I had to do racing and cantering from post to pillar, to do their was to grin and bear it. So in I went, and once in, biddings. Rain or shine, snow or mud, nothing stop-good by to resolution. The short and the long of it is, ped me; and I may say, I fairly earned their smiles by I was soon as deep in the mud as I had been in the the sweat of my brow. Then it was: "Oh, Mr. Bee- mire. But I had another guess chap than Sally Jones dle! What should we do without Mr. Beedle?" But to deal with now. And here was the difference bewhen I caught one alone, and begun to touch on the tween them. Where you got a slap in the chops from matrimonial sentiments, then how quick the tune was Sally, Hannah kept ye off with a scowl and a cock up changed! Oh, the ways of the women are curious. of the nose. And Madam couldn't bear handling. With her it was, "Talk is talk, but hands off, Mister." Patty Bean was not the first that I run aginst, by a long shot. I never lost anything for want of asking; and I was 'plaguey apt to begin to talk turkey always when I got sociable, if it was only out of politeness. Now one would promise, and then fly off at the handle; but most all contrived some reason or other for giving me the bag to hold. One had taken a firm re But I rather guess I had cut my eye teeth by this time. If I hadn't learnt something about the natur of women, the kicks I had taken from all quarters fell on barren ground. There is no way of dealing with them but to coax and flatter; you gain nothing, let me tell you, by saving of soft soap; and you must be sly about MARRIAGE OF JOHNNY BEEDLE. it. It is no way to catch a wicked devil of a colt, in a pasture, to march right up, bridle in hand; you must sort of sidle along as if you was going past, and whistle, and pretend to be looking t'other way; and so, round and round, till at last you corner him up; then jump and clinch him by the fore lock. Oh, I'm not so great a fool as I might be. But it was a long and tedious business before Hannah and I could come to any sort of an understanding. There was old Captain Peabody was a stump in my way. He was a man who had no regard for politeness; he traveled rough shod, through the town, carrying a high head and a stiff upper lip; as much as to say: "I owes nobody nothing." He had been a skipper, and sailed his schooner all along shore, till he got forehanded, then went back up country and set down farming. But I never knuckle to man if he's big as all out doors. And after he poked his fist in my face one 'lection, we never hitched horses together. Well, as I was afraid to go to the house, and court Hannah in the regular way, I had to carry on the war just when and where I could; sometimes of a dark night, I could steal into the kitchen. But my safest plan was, to track her to the neighbors' houses, where she went to spend evenings; skulk about till she started home, and then waylay her on the road. Pretty poor chance this, you'll say. But as if this wasn't enough, Hannah herself must join in to plague me half to death. Ye see, I wanted to let her know what I was arter, in a sort of a delicate underhand way, and keep myself on the safe side of the fence, all the time, if there was to be any kicking. But Hannah had no notion of riddles; she would not understand anything short of plain English. I hinted plaguey suspicious about "true love" and "Cupid's darts," and all that. Then I would heave a long sigh, and say, "What does that mean, Hannah ?" But no; she couldn't see, poor soul; she looked as simple and innocent all the while, as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. She was plaguey close, too, as to her goings and comings; and if she happened, any time by accident, to let drop the least word, that show'd me where to find her next time, she was so mad with herself that she was ready to bite her tongue off. One day she was going to her aunt Molly's to spend the evening, and she went all the way round to Doctor Dingley's to tell Mrs. Dingley not to tell me, "For," says she, "I don't want him to be dogging me about everywhere." Well, Mrs. Dingley promised to keep dark, but she told the doctor, and what does the doctor do but comes right over and tells me. "Gone all stark alone," says he; “but it's none of my business." This is the day that I have marked with a piece of chalk. Hardly was daylight down, before I was snug in my skulking nest, in aunt Molly's barn. It was on the hay-mow, where there was a knot-hole handy, to look through and see all that went in or out of the house. I had a scheme in my head that Hannah little dreampt of; and I lay and thought it over, till she came out; and when I got her under my arm, and walking down the lane, thinks I, I'll set the stone a Tolling anyhow, let it stop where it will. So I set in to talking about this and that and t'other thing, and happened (by mere chance ye know) to mention our old hatter's shop, that stands at the corner, 347 At this Hannah hung down, her head and gave a snicker. "And how does that put you in mind of me, John," says she. "Guess." "I wont guess nor tetch to." "Do-guess once." "I wont! so there now-I never -" What I said and what she said, next, is all lost, for I'll treat if I can remember. It is all buz, buz in my head, like a dream. The first thing I knew, we were right against Captain Peabody's barn, walking as close together as we could with comfort, and our arms round each other's waist. Hannah's tongue had got thawed out, and was running like a brook in a freshet, and all one steady stream of honey. I vow, I was ready to jump out of my skin. It was a mile and a half, good, from aunt Molly's to Captain Peabody's, and I thought we had been about a minute on the road. So says I, "Hannah, let's go set down under the great appletree, and have a little chat, jest to taper off the evening." We now sat down and begun to talk sensible. We settled all the predicaments of the nuptial ceremony, and then talked over the store, till we thought we saw ourselves behind the counter; I weighing and measuring and dickering and dealing out, and she at the desk, pen in hand, figuring up the accounts. "And mind, John," says she, "I'm not going to trust everybody at the corner, I tell ye." But just as we were beginning to get sociable, as I thought, Hannah looks up, and says she, "What can that air great red streak be, in the sky, away down there beyond Saccarap?" "I rather guess," says I "it is fire in the woods." "Fire in the woods! I'll be skinned if it isn't daylight a-comin. Quick, John, help me into the window, before father is a stirring, or here'll be a pretty how d'ye do." The next job was to tell the news to Captain Peabody. Hannah had settled it that she should speak to her mother, and said she could manage her well enough, and it was my business to ask her father, This was a thing easier said than done. It stuck in my crop for days, like a raw onion. I tried to persuade Hannah to 348 MARRIAGE OF JOHNNY BEEDLE. marry first, and ask afterward. Says I, "You are Carpenter, that he has gone down to Portland to see Somebody, too-I don't say who-told me there was "Well, Johnny Beedle, what has brought you up a chap about my size flourishing a small bean-pole prethere, right in the wind's eye, this morning?" Why, cap'n, I've got an idee in my head." "No! how you talk!" "Ye see-the upshot of the matter is, I've a notion of settin up store, and gittin a wife, and settlin myself down as a merchant." 46 Whoorah, John-that is too ideas!-a store and a wife." "But I want a little of your help," says I. "Well, John," says he, "I'll do the handsome thing by ye. If you keep better goods than anybody else, and sell cheaper, you shall have my custom, and welcome-provided you'll take pay in sauce and things. Isn't that fair?" "Oh yes, Cap'n." "And I wish you success on the other tack. No fear of that, I'll warrant. There's lots of silly gals afloat, and such a fine taunt-rigged gentleman as you are, can run one down in no time." ty wull broomed up at the eend. And says I, Mister, can ye tell me where one Squire Darling lives?" "Which Squire Darling?" says he; "there's two of that name." "His name is John," says I. "Faith," says he, "they are both Johns, too, but one is a lawyer, and t'other a cooper." "Oh, then it must be the lawyer I want.” With this the young man give a squint at Hannah and a wink at me, and says he, "Come along; I am going right there now, and I'll show ye the Squire, and fix things for ye." "Hannah, this is lucky," says I. Well, he carried us into a small one story house, a little further on, full of books and papers and dust, and smelling strong of old dead tobacco smoke. Here we sat down while he went about our business. We waited and waited till long after dark, and were glad enough "Oh yes, Cap'n; I have run down Hannah, alrea- to see him come back at last with a candle. dy." "My Hannah ?" "Oh yes, Cap'n; we've agreed, and only want your consent." With this the old Cap'n riz right up on eend, upsct tub and frying-pan, and pointed, with a great red ear of corn in his hand, toward the door, without saying a word. But his eyes rolled like all creation. This raised my blood, and I felt so stuffy that I marched right straight off, and never turned my head to the right or left, till I was fairly home and housed. Well, now, says I, my apple cart is upsot in good "John, I wash my hands of this whole affair, from "Hold your tongue, you fool you," says she, "did Howsomever, there was underhand work carried on somewhere and by somebody. I dont tell tales out of school. I had no hand in it, till one day Doctor Dingley, says he, "John, if you happen to be wanting my horse and shay, this afternoon, about three o'clock, go and take it. I never refuse to lend, you know. And I hope Captain Peabody will gain his law-suit with Deacon "The Squire is very sick," says he, "but I have over-persuaded him.” The next minute the Squire came grunting along in, all muffled up in a great coat, and spectacles on, and a great tall woman with him to witness for the bride. Well, he went to work and married us, and followed up with a right down sensible sermon, about "multiplying and increasing on the earth;" and I never felt so solemn and serious. Then followed kissing the bride all round; then the certificates, and then I gave him two silver dollars, and we got into the shay again and off. After this, nothing happened to speak of, for about a month. Everything was kept snug, and Captain Peabody had no suspicions. But one morning, at break of day, as I was creeping softly down Captain Peaboby's back stairs, with my shoes in my hand as usual, I trod into a tub of water, standing on the third step from the bottom, and down I came slam bang. The captain was going to kill his hogs, and had got up betimes, put his water to heat, and was whetting his butcher knife in the kitchen. The first thing I saw, when I looked up, there stood Captain Peabody, with a great butcher knife in his hand, looking down upon me like thunder! I want to know if I didn't feel streaked! He clinched me by the collar and stood me up, and then raised his knife over me as high as he could reach. I thought my last minute had come. Blood would have been shed as sure as rates, if it hadn't been for Mrs. Peabody. She stepped up behind and laid hold of his arm; and says she: AFRICAN LIONS. "It's no matter, Mr. Peabody; they are married." "Married to that puppy!" roared the captain. Yes, sir," says I, "and here's the certificate." And I pulled it out of my jacket pocket, and gave it to him. But I didn't stay for any more ceremony; as soon as I felt his grip loosen a little, I slid off like an eel, and backed out doors, and made tracks home about as fast as I could leg it. But there was to be no peace for me this day. I was in constant worry and stew all the forenoon, for fear the captain would do something rash, and I could neither sit nor stand still, eat, drink or think. About the middle of the afternoon, Doctor Dingley came bouncing in, out of breath, and says he, "John, you have been cheated and bamboozled! Your marriage aint worth that. It was all a contrivance of Jack Darling, the lawyer, and his two imps, Joe Morey and Peter Scamp." This was all he could say till he had wiped his face, and taken a swig of cider to recover his wind: and he then gave me the particulars. When Captain Peabody had read my certificate, he could not rest; but tackled up and drove right down to let off his fury upon his old friend, Squire Darling. The moment he got sight of the squire, he turned to, and called him all the loud names he could lay his tongue to, for half an hour. The captain downed the certificates, and says he, "There's black and white against ye, you bloody old sculpen." The squire knew the handwriting was his nephew's as soon as he seed it, and the truth was brought to light. But, as the storm fell in one quarter, it rose from t'other. Squire Darling had smelt tar in his day, and hadn't forgot how to box the campass; and as soon as the saddle was on the right hoss, he set in and give the captain his own agin; and let him have it about nor-nor-west, right in his teeth till he was fairly blown out. They shook hands then, and seeing Hannah and I had got under weigh together, they said we must go the vige, and no time be lost in makin all fast in the lashings, with a good fine square knot before change of weather. So the squire slicked up a little, got into the shay, and came home with the captain, to hold the wedding that very night. How Doctor Dingley happened to be in town just at the nick of time I don't know. It was his luck; and as soon as he saw which way the wind was, he licked up and cantered home in a hurry. After he had got through with the particulars, says he, "Now Mr. Beedle, it's none of my business, but if I had such a hitch upon Captain Peabody, I would hang back like a stone drag, till he agreed to back my note for two hundred dollars in the Portland Bank, to buy goods with, enough to set you up in a store." I thought strong on this idee, as I was going over to Captain Peabody's; but the moment I showed the least symptoms of backing, such a storm was raised as never was seen. Father and mother-in-law and Squire Darling set up sich a yell all together, and poor Hannah, she sat down and cried. My heart failed me, and I made haste to give in and plead sorry as quick as possible; and somehow, in the hurry I let on that Doctor Dingley had set me on; and so was the innocent cause of his getting a most righteous licking the first time Captain Peabody caught him. It wasn't settled short of thirty dollars. 349 right; and there was an end of trouble. Mother-inlaw would not part with Hannah, and she made fatherin-law give us a setting out, in the north end of his house. He could not stomach me very well for a while; but I have managed to get on the blind side of him. I turned right in to work on his farm, as steady and industrious as a cart-horse. And I kept on pleasing him in one way and another, more and more; till he has taken such a liking to me, that he wouldn't part with me for a cow. He owns that I save him the hire of a help, out and out, the year round. There-now I have done. I have enough to do that is more profitable at home. Between hard work in the field and chores about house and barn and hog-pen, I can't call a minute my own, summer nor winter. And just so sartain as my wife sees me come in and set down to take a little comfort, just so sartain is she to come right up, and give me the baby to hold. AFRICAN LIONS. A WRITER in the South African Journal, published at the Cape of Good Hope, says that the lions of that country, beyond the limits of the colony, are accounted peculiarly fierce and dangerous, and he thinks Mr. Barrow's representation that they are cowardly and treacherous, is a conclusion drawn from limited experience or inaccurate information "The prodigious strength of this animal (he observes) does not appear to have been overrated. It is certain that he can drag the heaviest ox, with ease, a considerable way; and a horse, heifer, hartebeast, or lesser prey, he finds no difficulty in throwing over his shoulder, and carrying off to any distance he may find convenient. I have myself witnessed an instance of a very young lion conveying a horse about a mile from the spot where he killed it, and a more extraordinary case has been mentioned to me on good authority, where a lion having carried off a heifer of two years old, was followed on the track for five hours, about 20 English miles, by a party on horseback; and throughout the whole distance, the carcass of the heifer was only once or twice discovered to have touched the ground. The Bechuano chief, old Peyshow, now in Cape Town, conversing with me a few days ago, said, that the lion very seldom attacks man if unprovoked; but he will frequently approach within a few paces, and survey him steadily; and sometimes he will attempt to get behind him, as if he could not stand his look, but was yet desirous of springing upon him unawares. If a person in such circumstances attempts either to fight or fly, he incurs the most imminent peril; but if he has sufficient presence of mind coolly to confront him, without appearance of either terror or aggression, the animal will, in almost every instance, after a little space, retire. The overmastering effect of the human eye upon the lion has been frequently mentioned, though much doubted, by travelers; but from my own inquiries among lion hunters, I am perfectly satisfied of the fact: and an anecdote related to me a few days ago by Major M'Intosh, proves that that this fascination is not restricted to the lion. An officer in India, well known to my informant having chanced to ramble into a jungle, suddenly encountered a royal tiger. The recontre appeared equally unexpected on both sides, and both parties made a dead halt, earnestly gazing on each Well, Squire Darling stood up and married us about other. The gentleman had no fire arms, and wes aware that a sword would be no effective defence in a struggle for life with such an antagonist. But he had heard even the Bengal tiger might be sometimes checked by looking him firmly in the face. He did so. In a few minutes the tiger, which appeared prepared to make its final spring, grew disturbed, slunk aside, and attempted to creep round upon him behind. The officer turned constantly upon the tiger, which still continued to shrink from his glance; but darting into the thicket, and again issuing forth in a different quarter, it persevered for about half an hour in this attempt to catch him by surprize; till at last it fairly yielded the contest, and left he gentleman to pursue his pleasure walk. The direction he now took, as may be easily believed, was straight to the tents at a double quick time." After relating several terrific stories of encounters with lions, the writer concludes his article with one not quite so fearful, related by Lucas Van Nunen, to Vee Boof his neighbor, at the Bavian's river; "Lucas was riding across the open plains about day break, and observing a lion at a distance, he endeavored to avoid him by making a circuit. Lucas soon perceived that he was not disposed to let him pass without further parlance, and that he was rapidly approaching to the encounter, and being without his roer (rifle) and otherwise little inclined to any closer acquaintance, he turned off at right angles-laid the samqock freely to his horse's flank, and galloped for life. The horse was fagged, and bore a heavy man on his back; the lion was fresh and furious with hunger, and came down upon him like a thunderbolt! In a few seconds he overtook Lucas, and springing up behind him, brought horse and man in an instant to the ground. Luckily the boor was unhurt, and the lion was too eager worrying the horse to pay any attention to the rider. "Hardly knowing himself how he escaped, he contrived to scramble out of the fray, and made a clean pair of heels of it till he reached the hext house. Lucas, who gave me the details of the adventure himself, made no observations on it as being any way remarkable, except in the circumstance of the lion's audacity in pursuing a "Christian man" without provocation in open day! But what chiefly vexed him in the affair was the loss of the saddle. He returned next day with a party of friends to take vengeance on his feline foe; but both the lion and the saddle had disappeared, and nothing could be found but the horse's clean-picked bones. Lucas said he could have excused the schelm for killing the horse, as he had allowed himself to get away, but the felonious abstraction of the saddle (for which, as Lucas gravely observed,) he could have no possible use, raised his spleen mightily, and called down a shower of curses whenever he told the story of his hair-breadth escape." NEW MODE OF PROPELLING STEAM VESSELS. WE find the following notice of a very curious new invention, in that excellent family newspaper the Philadelphia Saturday Courier. "It would appear there is to be no end to attempts at invention for propelling steam vessels. Mr. Ruthven comes out with the last invention. He states that by his invention, the propulsion of the vessel is, effected simply by the powerful discharge of a column of water from two nozzles placed below the water line, one on the starboard, the other on the larboard side of the vessel; the greatest resistence to a vessel's way, going through the water, is at her bows, and this resistance the patentee partially reduces by admitting the water at two large orifices at her bows, and conveying it by pipes into a tight case, in which revolves a wheel worked by the steam engine. This wheel is divided into a series of compartments, communicating from the periphery with the axis; the water enters at the centre, and by the centrifugal force engendered by the revolving of the wheel, is discharged with great force from the circumference which is in immediate connection with the nozzles outside. A VALENTINE. EY JOHN KEESE. SWEET are the early flowers of May, And bright the clouds that in thick array, Sweet, too, is evening on the hill, But sweeter, purer, brighter yet, Those raven eyes, those locks of jet, That spirit high, that friend of mine, For whom I woo Saint Valentine. In winter's cold and cheerless hour, When skies are dark and every flower, Save those which bloom on beauty's face, Have vanished like the fairy race. Oh, what can then fill up the void Their absence leaves on nature's sod? 'Tis filled-for frost and snow combine To form for thee a Valentine. And what is purer than the flakes Which fann'd by winds the snow-drift makes, Pure, too, art thou, as thoughts of heaven, Or clouds that float in the summer even; And cloudless be these thoughts of mine That weave for thee my Valentine. And may that heart be ne'er o'ercast With gathered memories of the past, But let the feeling joy calls up, Untasted, dash down sorrow's cup. For one is bending o'er thee now, A poet's sister! can there be A lineage link'd with mind divine, My lyre is hush'd. Lady, for thee I've woo'd the muse's minstrelsy, And sure both heart and lute combine To breath for thee this Valentine. February 14, 1844. |