Fal. My honeft lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pift. Two yards and more. Fal. No quips now, Pistol: indeed I am in the wafte two yards about; but I am now about no wafte, I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife: I fpy entertainment in her; fhe difcourfes, fhe carves, the gives the leer of invitation; I can conftrue the action of her familiar ftyle, and the hardeft voice of her behaviour, to be English'd right, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's. Pit. He hath ftudy'd her well, and tranflated her out of honefty into English, Nym. The anchor is deep; will that humour pafs? Fal. Now, the report goes, fhe has all the rule of her husband's purfe: fhe hath a legion of angels. Pift. As many devils entertain; and to her, boy, say I. Nym. The humour rifes; it is good; humour me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious oeilads; fometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, fometimes my portly belly. Pift. Then did the fun on dunghill shine.. [Afide Fal. O the did fo courfe o'er my exteriors with fuch a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did feem to fcorch me up like a burning-glafs. Here's another letter to her; fhe bears the purfe too; fhe is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they fhall be my Eaft and Weft Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to Miftrefs Page, and thou this to Miftrefs Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pift. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my fide wear fteel? then Lucifer take all! Nym. I will run no bafe humour; here, take the humour-letter, I will keep the haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, firrah, bear you thefe letters tightly, Sail like my pinnace to thefe golden fhores. [To Robin. age, French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page. [Exeunt Falfaff and Boy. SCENE VIII. Pit. Let vultures gripe thy guts; for gord and Fullam holds: And high and low beguiles the rich and poor. Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge. Pift. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin, and her ftar. Pift. With wit, or steel? Nym. With both the humours, I. I will difcufs the humour of this love to Ford. How Falftaff, varlet vile, His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humour shall not cool; I will incenfe Ford to deal with poifon; I will poffefs him with yellowness ; For the revolt of mien is dang'rous: that is my true hu mour. Pif. Thou art the Mars of malecontents, I fecond thee; troop on. [Exeum. SCENE IX. Changes to Dr. Caius's house. Enter Miftrefs Quickly, Simple, and John Rugby. Quic. What, John Rugby! I pray thee go to the cafement, and fee if you can fee my mafter, Mafter Doctor Caius, coming; if he do, i' faith, and find any body in the house, here will be old abufing of God's patience, and the King's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit Rugby. Quic. Go, and we'll have a poffet for't foon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a fea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever fervant fhall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breedbate: his worft fault is, that he is given to pray'r; he is fomething peevish that way; but no body but has his fault; but let that pafs. Peter Simple, you fay, your name is. Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quic. And Mafter Slender's your mafter? Sim. Ay, forfooth. Quic. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife? Sim. No, forfooth; he hath but a little wee-face, with a little yellow beard, a Cain colour'd beard. Quic. A foftly-fprighted man, is he not? Sim. Ay, forfooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head. He hath fought with a warrener. Quic. How fay you? oh, I should remember him; does he not hold up his head, as it were? and strut in his gate? Sim. Yes, indeed, does hė. Quic. Well, heav'n fend Anne Page no worfe fortune! Tell Mafter Parfon Evans, I'll do what I can for your master. Anne is a goed girl, and 1 wish Enter Rugby. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my mafter. Quic. We fhall all be shent; run in here, good young man: go into this clofet; [Shuts Simple in the clofet.] He will not ftay long. What John Rugby! John! what, John, I fay; go, John, go inquire for my máfter; I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home: and down, down, a down-a, &c. [Sings SCENE X. Enter Doctor Caius. Caius. Vat is you fing? I do not like des toys; pray you, go and vetch me in my clofet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I fpeak? a green-a box. Quic. Ay, forfooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young young man, he would have been horn-mad. [Afide Gaius. Fe, fe, fe, fe, ma foi, il fait fort chaud; je là grande affaire. m'en vais à la cour Quic. Is it this, Sir? Caius. Ouy, mettez le au mon pocket; depêchez, quickly; ver is dat knave Rugby! Quic. What, John Rugby! John! Rug. Here, Sir, Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby; come, take-a your rapier, and come after to the court. Rug. 'Tis ready, Sir, here in the porch. my heal Caius. By my trot I tarry too long: od's me! Qu'ay je oublié? dere is fome fimples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I fhall leave behind. Quic. Ay-me, he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. O Diable, Diable! vat is in my clofet? villaine, Larron! Rugby, my rapier. [Pulls Simple out of the clofet. Quic. Good mafter, be content. Caius. Verfore fhall I be content-a? Quic. The young man is an honeft man. Caius. Vat fhall de honeft man do in my clofet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my clofet. Quic. I befeech you be not fo flegmatic; hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from Parfon Hugh. Caius. Vell. Sim. Ay, forfooth, to defire her to Quic. Peace, I pray you. Caius. Peace-a your tongue, fpeak-a your tale. Sim. To defire this honeft gentlewoman your maid, to speak a good word to Miftrefs Anne Page for my mafter in the way of marriage. Quic. This is all, indeed-la; but I'll never put my finger in the fire, and need not. Caius. Sir Hugh fend a-you? Rugby, baillez me fome paper; tarry you a little-a-while. Quic. I am glad he is so quiet. If he had been tho-. roughly moved, you should have heard him fo loud, and VOL. I. R fo fo melancholy: but notwithstanding, man, I'll do for your mafter what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French Doctor my mafter, (I may call him my mafter, look you,,for I keep his houfe, and I wash, wring, brew, bake, fcour, drefs meat, and make the beds, and do all myfelf.) Sim. 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand. Quic. Are you a-vis'd o' that? you fhall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down late. But notwithstanding, to tell you, in your ear, I would have no words of it, my mafter himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page; but, notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack'nape; give-a this letter to Sir Hugh! by gar it is a fhallenge I vill cut his troat in de parke, and I vill teach a fcurvy jack-a-nape prieft to meddle or makeYou may be gone; it is not good you tarry here; by gar I vill cut all his two ftones; by gar he fhall not have a ftone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple. Quic. Alas, he fpeaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter' a ver dat: do you not tell-ame, dat I shall have Anne Page for myfelf? by gar I vill kill de jack prieft; and I have appointed mine hoft of de Ferierre to measure our weapon; by gar I vill myself have Aune Page. Quic. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we inuft give folks leave to prate; what, the good-jer! Caius. Rugby, come to the court with me.—————— -By if I have not Anne Page, I fhall turn your head out of my door:-follow my heels, Rugby. gar, [Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quic. You fhall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that; never a woman in Windfor knows more of Anne's mind than I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heav'n. Fent. [within.]. Who's within there, hoa? Quick. Who's there, I trow? come near the house, I pray you. SCENE |