with ardor to the larder, then to the kitchen; and, as he briskly went to work, he drew from the spit a roasted turkey, with sausages embellished, which in a trice upon the board was spread, together with a nice cold brisket; nor did he even obliviscate half a pig's head. To these succeeded puddings, pies, custards and jellies, all doomed to fall a sacrifice to their insatiable bellies, as if, like camels, they intended to stuff into their monstrous craws enough to satisfy their maws until their pilgrimage was ended. Talking, laughing, eating aud quaffing, the bottles stood no moment still. They rallied Sam with joke and banter, and, as they drained the last decanter, called for the bill. 'Twas brought; when one of them, who eyed and added up the items, cried," Extremely moderate indeed! I'll make a point to recommend this inn to every travelling friend; and you, Sam, shall be doubly fee'd." This said, a weighty purse he drew, when his companion interposed :-" Nay, Harry, that will never do. Pray, let your purse again be closed: you paid all charges yesterday; 'tis clearly now my turn to pay." Harry, however, wouldn't listen to any such insulting offer; his generous eyes appeared to glisten, indignant at the very prof fer; and though his friend talked loud, his clangor served but to aggravate Hal's anger. "My worthy fellow," cried the third, "now, really this is too absurd. What! do both of you forget I haven't paid a farthing yet? Am I eternally to cram your expense? 'Tis childish quite. I claim this payment as my right. Here, how much is the money, Sam ?" To this most rational proposal the others gave such fierce negation, one might have fancied they were foes, all; so hot became the altercation, each in his purse his money rattling, insisting, arguing and battling. One of them cried, at last"A truce! This point we will no longer moot. Wrangling for trifles is no use; and thus we 'll finish the dispute :-That we may settle what we three owe, we 'll blindfold Sam; and whichsoe'er he catches of us first shall bear the expenses of the trio, with half a crown (if that'. enough) to Sam, for playing blind man's buff." Samed it hugely; thought the ransom for a good game of fun was handsome; gave his own handkerchief beside, to have his eyes securely tied, and soon began to grope and search; when the three knaves, I needn't say, adroitly left him in the lurch, slipped down the stairs, and stole away. Poor Sam continued hard at work. Now o'er a chair he gets a fall; now floundering forwards with a jerk, he bobs his nose against the wall; and now, encouraged by a subtle fancy that they're near the door, he jumps behind it to explore, and breaks his shins against the scuttle; crying, at each disaster, “Drat it!" "Hang it!" "'od rabbit it!" and "Rat it!" Just in the crisis of his doom, the host, returning, sought the room; and Sam no sooner heard his tread, than, pouncing on him like a bruin, he almost shook him into ruin, and, with a shout of laughter, said, "Huzza! I've caught you now; so down with cash for all, and my half crown!" Off went the bandage, and his eyes seemed to be goggling o'er his forehead, while his mouth widened with a horrid look of agonized surprise. "Gull" roared his master; "gudgeon!. dunce! fool! as you are, you 're right for once; 'tis clear that I must pay the sum; but this one thought my wrath that every half-penny shall come out of your wages !" assuages NUMBER ONE.-HOOD. Ir's very hard, and so it is, To live in such a row And witness this, that every Miss, But love goes calling up and down, I'm sick of all the double knocks And one in blue, at Number Two, It's very hard they come so near, Miss Bell, I hear, has got a dear By sitting at the window pane Which she has never done, Yet arts that thrive at Number Five 'Tis hard with plenty in the street And plenty passing by There's nice young men at Number Ten, But only rather shy. And Mrs. Smith, across the way, Has got a grown-up son; There is a Number One. There's Mr. Wick at Number Nine, And though he's pious will not love The goods had quite a run; My mother often sits at work, In her declining days. O take away your foolish song, And tones enough to stun, There is nae luck about the house, THE FRENCHMAN AND THE RATS.-ANON A FRENCHMAN once who was a merry wight, And hallo! Garçon, a pot of portar too!" he said His supper done, some scraps of cheese were left, To wished-for bed; but not a wink he slept- Our hero now undressed, popped out the light, Sans cérémonie soon the rats all ran, And on the flour-sacks greedily began; At which they gorged themselves; then smelling round Under the pillow soon the cheese they found ; And while at this they regaling sat, Their happy jaws disturbed the Frenchman's nap; Vat is dat nibbel at my pillow so? |