Miss Prudence has just run away,

And Miss Steady assisted her flight. But success to the fair-one and all

No misapprehensions be making; Though wrong the dear sex to miss-call, There's no harm, I should hope, in miss-taking!

List not to the idle charmer,
Scorn the very specious lie,
Only in the fancy liveth

This deceiver, "BY-AND-BY."

AN INTELLIGENT WITNESS.

[Action for work and labor done in cutting ditch on defendant's land. Plea-payment, and set off in bacon and corn meal. Plaintiff's son on the stand-recollects the ditching perfectly, but seems to forget all about the bacon.]

Lawyer. You say your daddy did the ditching? Do you know what he got in pay for it?

Witness. He never got nothing, as ever I heerd on—that's what he never got.

Lawyer. Didn't your daddy get corn and bacon from the defendant, in pay for that ditching?

Witness. Never heerd of his getting no corn nor bacon. Lawyer. What did your daddy and his family live on that summer?

Witness. Vittles, most.

Lawyer. What sort of victuals?

Witness. Well, meat and bread, and some whisky.

Lawyer. Where did he get that meat and bread?

Witness. Well, first from one, and first from another.
Lawyer. Didn't he get some of it from defendant?

Witness. He mought.

Lawyer. I know he might, but did he that's the question.

Witness. Well, he mought, and then again, you know, he moughtn't.

Lawyer. (With considerable excitement, and in tones of thunder.) Answer the question, sir, and no more of this

trifling with your oath. Did your daddy, or did he not, get corn and bacon from the defendant for ditching?

Witness. Well, now, he mought; I don't occur adzactly, your honor. (Here his Honor interferes.)

Judge. Witness, you must answer the question, or the court will be compelled to deal with you.

or no?

Witness. I reckon.

Can't you say yes

Judge. Well, then, answer yes or no. Did, or did not your daddy get corn and bacon from the defendant at the time referred to?

Witness. (Now fully aroused, and conscious of his danger.) Well, judge, I can't adzactly amember, you know, seein' as how it's all dun bin gone and eat up; but (planting himself firmly, as one determined to out with it), to the best of my rikulection, ef my memory serves me right, he mought, and then agin he moughtn't.

Judge. That'll do, sir.

A DECEIVER DECEIVED.-HALL.

SIR CHRISTOPHER- -QUIZ.

Sir Christopher. And so, friend Blackletter, you are just come from college.

Quiz. Yes, sir.

Sir Ch. Ah, Mr. Blackletter, I once loved the name of a college, until my son proved so worthless.

Quiz. In the name of all the literati, what do you mean? You fond of books, and not bless your stars in giving you such a son!

Sir Ch. Ah, sir, he was once a youth of promise.—But do you know him?

Quiz. What! Frederick Classic?—Ay, that I do-Heaven be praised!

Sir Ch. I tell you, Mr. Blackletter, he is wonderfully changed.

Quiz. And a lucky change for him. What! I suppose he was once a wild young fellow?

Sir Ch. No, sir, you don't understand me, or I don't you. I tell you, he neglects his studies, and is foolishly in love; for which I shall certainly cut him off with a shilling.

Quiz. You surprise me, sir. I must beg leave to unde ceive you—you are either out of your senses, or some wicked enemy of his has, undoubtedly, done him this injury. Why, sir, he is in love, I grant you, but it is only with his book. He hardly allows himself time to eat; and as for sleep, he scarcely takes two hours in the twenty-four. This is a thumper; for the dog has not looked into a book these six months, to my 1 certain knowledge. (Aside.)

Sir Ch. I have received a letter from farmer Downright this very day, who tells me he has received a letter from him, containing proposals for his daughter.

Quiz. This is very strange. I left him at college, as close to his books as-oh, oh-I believe I can solve this mystery, and much to your satisfaction.

Sir Ch. I should be very happy indeed if you could.

Quiz. Oh, as plain as that two and three are five. 'Tis thus: An envious fellow, a rival of your son's-a fellow who has not as much sense in his whole corporation, as your son has in his little finger-yes, I heard this very fellow ordering a messenger to farmer Downright with a letter; and this is, no doubt, the very one. Why, sir, your son will certainly surpass the Admirable Crichton. Sir Isaac Newton will be a perfect automaton, compared with him; and the sages of antiquity, if resuscitated, would hang their heads in despair.

Sir Ch. Is it possible that my son is now at college, making these great improvements?

Quiz. Ay, that he is, sir.

Sir Ch. (Rubbing his hands.) Oh, the dear fellow! the dear fellow!

Quiz. Sir, you may turn to any part of Homer, and repeat

one line-he will take it up, and, by dint of memory, continue repeating to the end of the book.

Sir Ch. Well, well, well! I find I was doing him great injustice. However, I'll make him ample amends. Oh, the dear fellow the dear fellow! the dear fellow!-(with great joy) he will be immortalized; and so shall I; for if I had not cherished the boy's genius in embryo, he would never have soared above mediocrity.

Quiz. True, sir.

Sir Ch. I cannot but think what superlative pleasure I shall have, when my son has got his education. No other man's in England shall be comparative with it-of that I am positive. Why, sir, the moderns are such dull, plodding, senseless barbarians, that a man of learning is as hard to be found as the unicorn

Quiz. 'Tis much to be regretted, sir; but such is the lamentable fact.

Sir Ch. Even the shepherds, in days of yore, spoke their mother tongue in Latin; and now, hic, hæc, hoc, is as little understood as the language of the moon.

Quiz. Your son, sir, will be a phenomenon, depend upon it. Sir Ch. So much the better, so much the better. I expected soon to have been in the vocative; for, you know, you found me in the accusative case, and that's very near it-ha! ha! ha!

Quiz You have reason to be merry, sir, I promise you.

Sir Ch. I have, indeed. Well, I shall leave off interjec tions, and promote an amicable conjunction with the dear fellow. Oh! we shall never think of addressing each other in plain English no, no, we will converse in the pure classical language of the ancients. You remember the Eclogues of Virgil, Mr, Blackletter?

Quiz. Oh, yes, sir, perfectly; have 'em at my finger ends.. Not a bit of a one did I ever hear of in my life. (Aside.)}} Sir Ch. How sweetly the first of them begins!

Quiz. Very sweetly, indeed, sir. (Aside.) Bless me! I wish he would change the subject.