To see him shine so brisk and smell so sweet,

And talk so like a waiting gentlewoman,

Of guns, and drums, and wounds, (heaven save the mark!) And telling me, the sovereign'st thing on earth

Was parmacity for an inward bruise;

And that it was great pity (so it was)
This villainous saltpetre should be digged
Out of the bowels of the harmless earth,
Which many a good tall fellow had destroyed
So cowardly; and but for these vile guns-
He would himself have been a soldier.

This bald, unjointed chat of his, my lord,
I answered indirectly, as I said;

And I beseech you, let not this report
Come current for an accusation
Betwixt my love and your high majesty.

"BOXIANA."-HOOD.

I hate the very name of box;
It fills me full of fears;

It 'minds me of the woes I've felt,
Since I was young in years.

They sent me to a Yorkshire school,
Where I had many knocks;

For there my schoolmates box'd my ears.
Because I couldn't box.

I pack'd my box; I pick'd the locks;

And ran away to sea;
And very soon I learnt to box

The compass merrily.

I came ashore-I called a coach,
And mounted on the box;

The coach upset against a post,
And gave me dreadful knocks.

I soon got well; in love I fell,
And married Martha Cox;
To please her will, at fam'd Box hill,
I took a country box.

I had a pretty garden there,

All border'd round with box;
But ah, alas! there liv'd, next door,
A certain Captain Knox.

He took my wife to see the play ;—
They had a private box:

I jealous grew, and from that day,
I hated Captain Knox.

I sold my house,-I left my wife ;-
And went to Lawyer Fox,
Who tempted me to seek redress
All from a jury box

I went to law, whose greedy maw
Soon emptied my strong box;
I lost my suit, and cash to boot,
All thro' that crafty Fox.

The name of box I therefore dread,

I've had so many shocks;

They'll never end, for when I'm dead,
They'll nail me in a box.

THE DANCING MASTER ABROAD.-HALIBURTON

Now, said Mr. Slick, to change the tune, I'll give the blue. noses a new phrase. They'll have an election, most likely, next year, and then "the dancin' master will be abroad." A candidate is a most particular polite man, and anoddin' here,

and abowin' there, and ashakin' hands all round.

Nothin' improves a man's manners like an election. "The dancin' master's abroad then;" nothin' gives the paces equal to that; it makes them as squirmy as an eel; the cross hands and back agin, set to their partners, and right and left in great style, and slick it off at the end with a real complete bow, and a smile for all the world as sweet as a cat makes at a pan of new milk. Then they get as full of compliments as a dog is full of fleas-in quirin' how the old lady is to home; and the little boy that made such a wonderful smart answer, they never can forget it till next time; apraisin' a man's farms to the nines, and atellin' of him how scandalous the road that leads to his location has been neglected, and how much he wants to find a real complete hand that can build a bridge over his brook, and axin' him if he ever built one. When he gets the hook baited with the right fly, and the simple critter begins to jump out of water arter it, all mouth and gills, he winds up the reel, and takes leave, athinkin' to himself, "Now you see what's to the end of my line, I guess I'll know where to find you when I want you."

There's no sort of fishin' requires so much practice as this. When bait is scarce, one worm must answer for several fish. A handful of oats in a pan, arter it brings one horse up in a pastur for the bridle, serves for another; a shakin' of it is better than a givin' of it; it saves the grain for another time. It's a poor business, arter all, is electioneering; and when "the dancin' master is abroad," he 's as apt to teach a man to cut capers and get larfed at as anything else. It tante every one that's soople enough to dance real complete. Politics takes a great deal of time, and grinds away a mans honesty near about as fast as cleaning a knife with brick dust; "it takes its steel out." What does a critter get, arter all, for it in this country? Why, nothin' but expense and disappointment. As King Solomon says, (and that are man was up to a thing or two, you may depend, tho' our professor did say he warn't so knowin' as Uncle Sam,) it's all vanity and vexation of spirit.

THE CHAMELEON.-MERRICK.

OFT has it been my lot to mark A proud, conceited, talking spark, Returning from his finished tour, Grown ten times perter than before: Whatever word you chance to drop, The travelled fool your mouth will stop;"Sir, if my judgment you 'Il allow—

I've seen—and sure, I ought to know ;"So begs you'd pay a due submission, Ana acquiesce in his decision.

Two travellers of such a cast, As o'er Arabia's wilds they passed, And on their way, in friendly chat, Now talked of this, and then of that, Discoursed awhile, 'mongst other matter, Of the chameleon's form and nature. "A stranger animal," cries one, "Sure never lived beneath the sun: A lizard's body, lean and long, A fish's head, a serpent's tongue, Its tooth with triple claw disjoined; And what a length of tail behind! How slow its pace! and then its hueWho ever saw so fine a blue ?"

"Hold there!" the other quick replies→→→ Tis green; I saw it with these eyes, As late with open mouth it lay,

And warmed it in the sunny ray: Stretched at its ease, the beast I viewed, And saw it eat the air for food."

"I've seen it, sir, as well as you,

And must again affirm it blue:
At leisure I the beast surveyed,
Extended in the cooling shade."

"'Tis green! 'tis green, sir, I assure ye!"
"Green?" cries the other, in a fury;

"Why, sir, d' ye think I've lost my eyes?"
""Twere no great loss," the friend replies ;
For if they always use you thus,

You'll find them but of little use."

So high, at last, the contest rose,
From words they almost came to blows;
When luckily came by a third:

To him the question they referred,

And begged he'd tell them, if he knew,
Whether the thing was green or blue.

"Sirs," said the umpire, cease your pother-
The creature 's neither one nor t' other.
I caught the animal last night,
And view'd it o'er by candle-light;
I marked it well-'twas black as jet-
You stare-but, sirs, I've got it yet,
And can produce it."-" Pray, sir, do;
I'll lay my life the thing is blue."
"And I'll be sworn, that when you've seen

The reptile, you'll pronounce him green."—
"Well, then, at once to end the doubt,"
Replies the
man, "I'll turn him out;
And when before your eyes I've set him,
If you dor't find him black, I'll eat him,”
He said then full before their sight

Produced the beast; and, lo! 'twas white!

Both stared; the man looked wondrous wise,

My children," the chameleon cries,—
Then first the creature found a tongue,—
"You all are right, and all are wrong.
When next you talk of what you view,
Think others see as well as you,
Nor wonder if you find that none
Prefers your eyesight to his own.”