how bound them, and were masters of their wealth: mark now, a plain tale shall put you down. Then did we two set on you four, and with a word, outfaced you from your prize, and have it, yea can show it you here in the house. And Falstaff, you carried your paunch away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I heard a bull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou has done, and then say it was in fight? What trick, what device, what starting hole canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparent shame ? Fal. Ha ha ha!-D'ye think I did not know ye Hal Why, hear ye, my master, was it for me to kill the heir ap parent? should I turn upon the true prince? why, thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules. But beware instinct; the lion will not touch the true prince; instinct is a great matter. I was a coward on instinct, I grant you; and I shall think the better of myself and thee during my life; I for a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince. But I am glad you have the money. Let us clap to the doors; watch to-night, pray tomorrow. What! shall we be merry? shall we have a play extempore? P. Henry. Content!—and the argument shall be, thy running away. Fal. Ah!-no more of that, Hal, if thou lovest me. FLOGGING AN EDITOR.-J. N. MCELLIGOTT. THE editor sat in his easy chair But he sat not easy: there being an air And with fiery eye and menacing air He made right up to the editor's chair. What edits the paper? I've come to tan Your hide for that caper. You called me a villain-you called me a 10gue, Decidedly paled; But just at the moment his courage gave way A fire, or something worse to prevent. A scamp well known to annals of fame, Or near it somewhere, The monster met him, demanding redress, In applying abusive words to me; Up stairs is the person you wish to see.” A terrible bustle, They make, as around the room they wrestle; AN APOTHECARY CROSS-EXAMINED.-ANON. Mr. D. Have you always been a surgeon ? Wit. Pray, my lord, is this a proper answer? Judge. I have not heard any answer; Mr. Dauncey has put a question. Wit. Must I answer? Judge. Yes: do you object? Wit. I do not think it a proper answer. Judge. I presume you mean question. I beg leave to differ with you in opinion. Mr. D. Have you always been a surgeon ? Wit. I am a surgent. Mr. D. Can you spell the word you mention? Wit. My lord, is that a fair answer? Judge. I think it a fair question. Wit. Spell the word! To be sure I can. S-y-u-r-gunt. Mr. D. I am rather hard of hearing-repeat what you have said. Wit. S-u-r-gend. Mr. D. What did you say was next to S, sir? Wit. Sy-u-gent. Judge. As I take it down, please to favor me with it once more. Wit. S-g-u-r-gent. Judge. What? Wit. S-e-r-gund. Mr. D. Have you always been what you say? What were you originally? Wit S-y-u-r-g-e-n-d. Mr. D. Were you ever a gardener, Dr. Warburton? Mr. D. I do not ask you to spell that word again. Wit. Sergund-aye, that's it. Mr. D. My lord, I am afraid I have thrown a spell over this poor man which he can't get rid of. Where were you a gardener? Wit. I never was a gardener. I first was a farmer. I ceased to be a farmer, because I learnt the business I now is. Mr. D. Who did you learn it of? Wit. My lord, is that a proper question? Judge. I see no objection to it. Wit. I learned it of Doctor Hum: he practised the same as the Whitworth doctors, and they were regular physicians. Mr. D. Where did they take their degrees? Wit. I don't think they ever took any. Mr. D. Then do you suppose they could be regular physi cians ? Wit. No; I believe they were only doctors. Mr. D. Were they doctors of law, physic, or divinity? Wit. They doctored cows and other human beings. Mr. D. Did you ever make up tions of a physician? Wit. I never did. medicines from the prescrip Mr. D. Do you understand the characters they use for ounces, scruples, and drachms? Wit. I do not. I can make up as good medicines in my way as they can in theirs. Mr. D. What proportion does an ounce bear to a pound? Wit. My lord, is that a fair answer— -I mean question? Judge. Certainly. Mr. D. Are there sixteen ounces to the pound? Wit. We do not go by weight; we mix ours by the hand. Mr. D. Do you ever bleed? Wit. Yes. Mr. D. With a fleam or lancet? Wit. With a lancelot. Mr. D. Do you bleed from the vein or the artery! Mr. D. There is an artery about the temple. Can you tell the name of it? Wit. I does not pretend to have so much knowledge as Bome. Mr. D. Can you tell me the name of that artery? Wit. I don't know what artifice you mean. Mr. D. Suppose I were to tell you to bleed my servantwhich heaven forbid!—in the jugular vein, where would you apply the lancet? Wit. In the arm, to be sure. I am a bit of a dentist Mr. D. Indeed! Suppose, then, a person had the tooth ache, and could not bear it, how would you proceed? Iit. Beat it out, to be sure. Mr. D. With what? Wit. A hammer. Mr. D. You may retire. I am perfectly satisfied. THE THREE BLACK CROWS.-BYROM. Two honest tradesmen meeting in the Strand, T |