Rat. No man living better-I hope you can take one. Mil. You don't mean to say you sleep on that flock mattrass Rat. On that mattrass, sir, I seek my soft repose-watched over by the Muses, and awakened by the Graces. Flock! what do you mean by flock? hair, by my beard! It contains hair enough to compose a wig for the Lord Chancellor. (Calling to servant.) Come here, Betty! Betty, here's two shillings; bring me three pounds of long eights, and ask the chandler to cut them in two.

Mil. Long eights!

Rat. That's the size.

Your shop's too far off or I'd patronize you. I have a little soiree this evening-a sort of house warming. Light, joy-giving light, is the parent of the dance, of mirth and music.

Mil. Candles! what, fats for a party?

Rat. Muttons! honest muttons-can't stand wax, unless you'll stand tic-in that case, send me in a box, I'll give you a liberal order.

Mil. But what have you to put lights in? I see nothing.

Rat. Eh right, nothing-that does n't matter-stick them against the walls, at equal distances; your muttons have an adhesive quality, which renders them self-sustainable—but stop, where shall I place my wardrobe ?

Mil. Your wardrobe! where is it?

you are.

Rat. In my pocket. (Pulls out a cord.) Here Mil. Wardrobe ! why, that's a piece of threepenny cord!dear me !

Rat. You're a wizard-you 've guessed it—'t is, as you '11 - see, both one and the other-I like an open wardrobe, it preserves one's clothes from moth or mildew, and is easily got (Drives nails.) Mil. Hold! murder! murder! Driving tenpenny nails into the wall!

at.

Rat. Right again; but what ails you-one would think I was driving tenpenny nails into you, by the noise you makeall right. There, like that?-my own invention, combining elegance of outline with harmony of design, and simplicity of

detail. (Arranges cord, and throws coat, &c., over it, which he takes out of handkerchief, &c., and leaves chair.)

Mil. This is too much of a joke, sir-do you think I'm a fool?

Rat. I do, and a rogue-but if you behave well, I won't expose you to the common council-say nothing, and it's a chance if they ever find you out.

Mil. But I'll take it coolly-I'll take it coolly.

Rat. Do-you'll last the longer; and you've a good deal to go through yet, old gentleman, I can tell you.

Mil. Will you answer me one question?

Rat. With pleasure; propound.

Mil. Is this all the furniture you've got? And what am I to understand by this proceeding?

Rat. That's two questions; however, I'll reply to both seriatim. First-This is all the furniture I have in the world -thanks to a hard-hearted hunks, who robbed me, when and how. I'll now explain to your perfect enlightenment, if not satisfaction. Eighteen months back, I had apartments charmingly furnished, all things fitting an artist, hoping for fair sitters, neat, clean, and comme il faut. Just settled, I had an attack of the fever--was ill three months; got about at last, exhausted both in constitution and coin. My landlord acted towards me then, just as you desire to behave to poor Mrs. Barry he sold my all for a mere song, and left me penniless. Since that hour, I have been the nightmare to lodginghouse keepers; the cholera is not more shunned when abroad, more dreaded when caugut, or gotten rid of with greater thankfulness.

Mil. Mercy on me-then I'm to expect no rent?

Rat. Precisely; in which expectation, I'll answer for your not being disappointed.

Mil. Mercy on me-what roguery-then all that Mr. Fus tian said of you—

Rat. Is nothing more nor less than what you'll say of me, when I'm going to leave you, which, if you behave well, I will do at the end of six months.

IF YOU HAVE SEEN.-J. N. M.

you

IF have seen a home of sadness,
Where appeared no sign of gladness;
If you have seen the awful motion,
Of the wild and raging ocean;
If you have seen a deadly battle,
Where cannons roar and muskets rattle;
you have seen a snow-slip slide
Adown the Alpine mountain side;
If you have seen the lightning's flash,
And heard the thunder's awful crash;
If you have seen an earthquake shocking,
Mountains, just like cradles rocking;

If

If

you have seen the wall of China, Or how they live in Asia Minor;

If

you have seen a marble statue,
Life-like, looking right straight at you;
If you have seen a patient donkey,
Having on his back a monkey;

If

If

you

you have seen a head that's hoary, Completely turned by what's called glory; If you have seen the highest steeple, Known among a Christian people; have seen the twins of Siam, Or such a speaker-just as I am; If you have seen beyond these doors, Ears more delighted than are yours, By the speech you now are hearing, Without applause and without cheering; Then may I well exclaim, I ween,Good people, what a deal you've seen!