he set up an appalling and semi-earthly kind of howling, and butting forward with his head, commenced assailing that immortal gentleman about the back and legs, with such blows and pinches as the strength of his arm, and the violence of his excitement allowed.

"Take this little villain away," said the agonized Mr. Pickwick; "he's mad."

"What is the matter?" said the three tongue-tied Pickwickians.

"I don't know," replied Mr. Pickwick, pettishly. “Take away the boy" (here Mr. Winkle carried the interesting boy, screaming and struggling, to the farther end of the apartment.) "Now help me to lead this woman down stairs."

"Oh, I am better now," said Mrs. Bardell faintly.

"Let me lead you down stairs," said the ever-gallant Mr. Tupman.

"Thank you, sir,-thank you," exclaimed Mrs. Bardell, hysterically. And down stairs she was led accordingly, accompanied by her affectionate son.

"I cannot conceive," said Mr. Pickwick, when his friend returned-" I cannot conceive what has been the matter with that woman. I had merely announced to her my intention of keeping a man-servant when she fell into the extraordinary paroxysm in which you found her. Very extraordinary thing!" "Very," said his three friends.

"Placed me in such an extremely awkward situation," continued Mr. Pickwick.

66

Very," was the reply of his followers, as they coughed, and looked dubiously at each other.

This behaviour was not lost upon Mr. Pickwick; he remarked their credulity. They evidently suspected him.

"There is a man in the passage now," said Mr. Tupman. "It's the man I spoke to you about," said Mr. Pickwick. "I sent for him to the Borough this morning. Have the goodness to call him up, Snodgrass.”

Mr. Snodgrass did as he was desired; and Mr. Samuel Weller forthwith presented himself.

PEDANTRY.-GEORGE COLMAN, JR.

DR. PANGLOSS AND LORD DUBERLY.

Lord D. Doctor, good morning-I wish you a bon repos! Take a chair, doctor.

Pang. Pardon me, my lord; I am not inclined to be sedentary; I wish, with permission, "erectos ad sidera tollere vultus."-Ovid. Hem !

Lord D. Tollory vultures! I suppose that that means you had rather stand?

Pang. Fye! this is a locomotive morning with me. Just hurried, my lord, from the Society of Arts; whence, I may "I have borne my blushing honors thick upon me."Shakspeare. Hem!

say,

Lord D. And what has put your honors to the blush this morning, doctor?

Pang. To the blush! A ludicrous perversion of the author's meaning-he, he, he! hem! You shall hear, my lord "Lend me your ears." Shakspeare again. Hem! 'tis not unknown to your lordship, and the no less literary world, that the Caledonian University of Aberdeen long since conferred upon me the dignity of L. L. D.; and, as I never beheld that erudite body, I may safely say they dubb'd me with a degree from sheer considerations of my celebrity.

Lord D. True.

Pang. For nothing, my lord, but my own innate modesty, could suppose that Scotch college to be swayed by one pound fifteen shillings and three pence three farthings, paid on receiving my diploma as a handsome compliment to the numerous and learned head of that seminary.

Lord D. Oh, no, it wasn't for the matter of money.

Pang. I do not think it was altogether the " auri sacra fames."-Virgil. Hem! But this very day, my lord, at eleven o'clock, A. M., the Society of Arts, in consequence, as they were pleased to say, of my merits-he, he, he! my merits, my lord-have admitted me as an unworthy member; and I have,

henceforward, the privilege of adding to my name the honor able title of A double S.

Lord D. And I make no doubt, doctor, but you have richly deserved it. I warrant a man doesn't get A double S tack'd to his name for nothing.

Pang. Decidedly not, my lord. Yes, I am now artium societatis socius. My two last publications did that business. “Exegi monumentum ære perennius.”—Horace. Hem!

Lord D. And what might them there two books be about, doctor?

Pang. The first, my lord, was a plan to lull the restless to sleep, by an infusion of opium into their ears. The efficacy of this method originally struck me in St. Stephen's chapel, while listening to the oratory of a worthy country gentleman.

Lord D. I wonder it wa'nt hit upon before by the doctors. Pang. Physicians, my lord, put their patients to sleep in another manner. He, he, he! "To die-to sleep; no more."Shakspeare. Hem! my second treatise was a proposal for erecting dove-houses, on a principle tending to increase the propagation of pigeons. This, I may affirm, has received considerable countenance from many who move in the circles of fashion. "Nec gemere cessabit turtur."—Virgil. Hem! I am about to publish a third edition, by subscription. May I have the honor to pop your lordship down among the pigeons? Lord D. Aye, aye; down with me, doctor.

Pang. My lord, I am grateful. I ever insert names and titles at full length. What may be your lordship's sponsorial and patronymic appellations? (Taking out his pocket-book.) Lord D. My what?

Pang. I mean, my lord, the designations given to you by your lordship's godfathers and parents..

Lord D. Oh! What? my Christian and surname? I was baptized Daniel.

Pang. "Abolens baptismate labem." I forgot where-no matter-hem! The Right Honorable Daniel (Writing.)

Lord D. Dowlas.

Pang. (Writing.) Dowlas-" filthy Dow" hem! Shak

speare. The Right Honorable Daniel Dowlas, Baron Duberly. And now, my lord, to your lesson for the day. (They sit.) Lord D. Now for it, doctor.

Pang. The process which we are now upon is to eradicate that blemish in your lordship's language, which the learned denominate cacology, and which the vulgar call slip-slop.

Lord D. I'm afraid, doctor, my cakelology will give you a tolerable tight job on't.

Pang. "Nil desperandum."-Horace.

Hem ! We'll

begin in the old way, my lord. Talk on: when you stumble, I check. Where was your lordship yesterday evening? Lord D. At a consort.

Pang. Umph! tête-à-tête with Lady Duberly, I presume. Lord D. Tête-à-tête with five hundred people, hearing of

music.

Pang. Oh! I conceive. cert. Mark the distinction.

Your lordship would say a con-
A concert, my lord, is an enter-

tainment visited by fashionable lovers of harmony. Now, a consort is a wife.

Lord D. Humph! After all, doctor, I shall make but a poor progress in my vermicular tongue.

Pang. Your knowledge of our native, or vernacular language, my lord, time and industry may meliorate. Vermicular is an epithet seldom applied to tongues, but in the case of puppies who want to be worm'd.

Lord D. Ecod, then I an't so much out, doctor. I've met plenty of puppies since I came to town, whose tongues are so troublesome, that worming might chance to be of service. But, doctor, I've a bit of a proposal to make to you, concerning my own family.

Pang Disclose, my lord.

Lord D. Why, you must know, I expect my son, Dicky, in town this here very morning. Now, doctor, if you would but mend his cakelology, mayhap it might be better worth while than the mending of mine.

Pang. I smell a pupil. (Aside.) Whence, my lord, does the young gentleman come?

Lord D. You shall hear all about it. You know, doctor, though I'm of good family distraction

Pang. Ex.

Lord D. Though I'm of a good family extraction, 'twas but t'other day I kept a shop at Gosport.

Pang. The rumor has reached me.

Lord D. Don't put me out.

Pang. Virgil. Hem! proceed.

"Fama volat viresque."

Lord D. A tradesman, you know, must mind the main chance. So, when Dick began to grow as big as a porpus, I got an old friend of mine, who lives in Derbyshire, to take Dick 'prentice at half-price. He's just now out of his time; and I warrant him, as wild and as rough as a rock. Now, if you, doctor-if you would but take him in hand, and soften him a bit

Pang. Pray, my lord-"to soften rocks."-Congreve. Hem Pray, my lord, what profession may the Honorable Mr. Dowlas have followed?

Lord D. Who? Dick? He has served his clerkship to an attorney, at Castleton.

Pang. An attorney! Gentlemen of his profession, my lord, are very difficult to soften.

Lord D. Yes; but the pay may make it worth while. I'm told that Lord Spindle gives his eldest son, Master Drumstick's tutorer, three hundred a year, and, besides learning his pupil, he has to read my lord to sleep of an afternoon, and walk out with the lap-dogs and children. Now, if three hundred a year, doctor, will do the business for Dick, I shan't begrudge it you.

Pang. Three hundred a year! Say no more, my lord. L.L. D. A double S, and three hundred a year! I accept the office. "Verbum sat."-Horace. Hem! I'll run to my lodgings-settle with Mrs. Suds-put my wardrobe into a no, I've got it all on, and— (Going.)

Lord D. Hold, hold! not so hasty, doctor; I must first send you for Dick, to the Blue Boar.

Pang. The Honorable Mr. Dowlas, my pupil, at the Blue Boar.