milarity of disposition, indispensably requisite in friends; whereas these are circumstances which in great measure disqualify them for assisting each other in moral improvements, or supplying each. other's defects; they expose them to the same dan. gers, and incline them to encourage rather than correct each other's failings. The grand cement of this kind of friendship is telling secrets, which they call confidence: and I verily believe that the desire of having secrets to tell, has often helped to draw silly girls into very unhappy adventures. If they have no lover or amour to talk of, the too frequent subject of their confidence, is betraying the secrets of their families; or conjuring up fancied hardships to complain of against their parents or relations: this odious cabal, they call friendship; and fancy themselves dignified by the profession: but nothing is more different from the reality, as is seen by observing how generally those early friendships drop off, as the parties advance in years and understanding. Do not you, my dear, be too ready to profess a › friendship with any of your young companions. Love them, and be always ready to serve and oblige them, and to promote all their innocent gratifications: but, be very careful how you enter into confidence with girls of your own age. Rather choose some person of riper years and judgment, whose good-nature and worthy principles may assure you of her readiness to do you a service, and of her candour and condescension towards you. I do not expect that youth should delight to as sociate with age, or should lay open its feelings and inclinations to such as have almost forgot what they were, or how to make proper allowance for them but if you are fortunate enough to meet with a young woman, eight or ten years older than your self, of good sense and good principles, to whom you can make yourself agreeable, it may be one of the happiest circumstances of your life. She will be able to advise and to improve you, and your desire of this assistance will recommend you to her taste, as much as her superior abilities will recommend her to you. Such a connection will afford you more pleasure, as well as more profit, than you can expect from a girl like yourself, equally unprovided with knowledge, prudence, or any of those qualifications which are necessary to make society delightful. With a friend, such as I have described, of twentythree or twenty-four years of age, you can hardly pass an hour without finding yourself brought forward in some useful knowledge; without learning something of the world, or of your own nature; some rule of behaviour, or some necessary caution in the conduct of life: for even in the gayest conversations, such useful hints may often be gathered from those whose knowledge and experience are much beyond our own. Whenever you find yourself in real want of advice, or seek the relief of unburdening your heart, such a friend will be able to juugee the feelings you describe, or of the circumstances you are perhaps from her own experience, or, at least, from the knowledge she will have gama human nature, she will be able to point out your dangers, and to guide you into the right path, or, if she finds herself incapable, she will have the prudence to direct you to some abler adviser. The age I have mentioned, will not prevent her joining in your pleasures, nor will it make her a dull or grave companion; on the contrary, she will have more materials for entertaining conversation, and her liveliness will shew itself more agreeably than in one of your own age. Yours, therefore, will be the advantage in such a connection; yet do not despair of being admitted: into it, if you have an amiable and docile disposition. Ingenuous youth has many charms for a benevolent mind; and, as nothing is more endearing than the exercise of benevolence, the hope of being useful and beneficial to you, will make her fond of your company. I have known some of the sweetest and most delightful connections between persons of different ages, in which the elder has received the highest gratification from the affection and docility of the younger; whilst the latter has gained the noblest advantages from the conversation and counsels of her wiser friend. Nor has the attachment been without use as well as pleasure to the elder party. She has found that there is no better way of im. proving one's own attainments than by imparting them to another; and the desire of doing this in the most acceptable way, has added a sweetness and gentleness to her manner, and taught her the arts of insinuating instruction, and of winning the heart, while she convinces the understanding. I hope, my dear, you in your turn, will be this useful and engaging friend to your younger companions, particularly to your sisters and brothers, who ought ever, unless they should prove unworthy, to be your nearest and dearest friends, whose interest and welfare you are bound to desire as mu as your own. If you are wanting here, do not fancy yourself qualified for friendship with others, but, be assured, your heart is too narrow and selfior for so generous an affection Remember that the end of true friendship is the good of its object, and the cultivation of virtue, in two hearts emulous of each other, and desirous to perpetuate their society beyond the grave. Nothing can be more contrary to this end than that mutual intercourse of flattery which some call friendship. A real friend will venture to displease me, rather than indulge my faulty inclinations, or increase my natural frailtjes; she will endeavour to make me acquainted with myself, and will put me upon guarding the weak parts of my character. Friendship, in the highest sense of the word, can only subsist between persons of strict integrity, and true generosity. Before you fancy yourself possessed of such a treasure, you should examine the value of your own heart, and see how well it is qualified for so sacred a connection: and then a harder task remains; to find out whether the object of your affection is also endued with the same virtuous disposition. Youth and inexperience are ill able to penetrate into characters: the least-appearance of good attracts their admiration, and they immediately suppose they have found the object they pursued. It is a melancholy consideration, that the judg-> ment can only be formed by experience, which generally comes too late for our own use, and is seldom accepted for that of others. I fear it is in vain for me to tell you what dangerous mistakes I made in the early choice of friends; how incapable I then was of finding out such as were fit for me, and how little I was acquainted with the true nature of friendship, when I thought myself most fervently engaged in it!-I am sensible all this will hardly persuade you to choose by the eyes of others, or even to suspect that your own may be deceived. Yet, if you should give any weight to my observations, it may not be quite useless to mention to you. some of the essential requisites in a friend; and to exhort you never to choose one in whom they are wanting. The first of these is a deep and sincere regard for religion. If your friend draws her principles from the same source with yourself, if the Gospel precepts are the rule of her life, as well as yours, you will always know what to expect from her, and have one common standard of right and wrong to refer to, by which to regulate all material points of conduct. The woman who thinks lightly of sacred things, or who is ever heard to speak of them with levity or indifference, cannot reasonably be expected to pay a more serious regard to the laws of friendship, or to be uniformly punctual in the performance of any of the duties of society: take no such person to your bosom, however recommended by good-humour, wit, or any other qualification; nor let gaiety or thoughtlessness be deemed an excuse for offending in this important point: a person habituated to the love and reverence of religion and virtue, no more wants the guard of serious consideration to restrain her from speaking disrespectfully of them, than to prevent her speaking ill of her dearest friend. In the liveliest hour of mirth, the innocent heart can dictate nothing but what is innocent; it will immediately take alarm at the apprehension of doing wrong, and stop at once in the full career of youthful sprightliness, if reminded of the neglect or transgression of any duty. Watch for these symptoms of innocence and goodness, and admit no one to your entire affection, who would ever persuade you to make light of any sort of offence, or who can treat with levity or contempt, any person or thing that bears a relation to reli. gion. A due regard to reputation is the next indispensable qualification:-" Have regard to thy name," saith the wise son of Sirach; "for that will conti"nue with thee above a thousand great treasures " of gold." The young person who is careless of blame, and indifferent to the esteem of the wise and prudent part of the world, is not only a most dangerous companion, but gives a certain proof of the want of rectitude in her own mind. Discretion is the guardian of all the virtues; and, when she forsakes them, they cannot long resist the attacks of an enemy. There is a profligacy of spirit in defying the rules of decorum, and despising censure, which seldom ends otherwise than in extreme corruption and utter ruin. Modesty and prudence are qualities that early display themselves, and are easily discerned: where these do not appear, you should avoid, not only friendship, but every step towards intimacy, lest your own character should suffer with that of your companion; but, where they shine forth in any eminent degree, you may safely cultivate an acquaintance, in the reasonable hope of finding the solid fruits of virtue beneath such sweet and promising blossoms: should you be disappointed, you will at least have run no risk in the search after them, and may cherish as a creditable acquaintance the person so adorned, though she may not deserve a place in your inmost heart. The understanding must next be examined: and |