your behaviour, and endear your most common ac tion: politeness must accompany your greatest familiarities, and restrain you from every thing that is really offensive, or which can give a moment's unnecessary pain: conversation, which is so apt to grow dull and insipid in families, nay, in some to be almost wholly laid aside, must be culti vated with the frankness and openness of friendship, and by the mutual communication of whatever may conduce to the improvement or innocent entertainment of each other. Reading, whether apart or in common, will furnish useful and pleasing subjects; and the sprightliness of youth will naturally inspire harmless mirth and native humour, if encouraged by a mutual desire of diverting each other, and making the hours pass agreeably in your own house: every amusement that offers, will be heightened by the participation of these dear companions, and by talking over every incident together, and every object of pleasure. If you have any acquired talent of entertainment, such as music, painting, or the like, your own family are those before whom you should most wish to excel, and for whom you should always be ready to exert yourself; not suffering the accomplishments which you have gained, perhaps by their means, and at their expence, to lie dormant, till the arrival of a stranger gives you spirit in the performance. Where this last is the case, you may be sure vanity is the only motive of the exertion:-A stranger will praise you more. But how little sensibility has that heart which is not more gratified, by the silent pleasure painted on the countenance of a partial parent, or of an affectionate brother, than by the empty compliment of a visitor, who is perhaps inwardly more disposed to criticise and ridicule than to admire you! I have been longer in this letter than I intended; yet it is with difficulty I can quit the subject, because I think it is seldom sufficiently insisted on, either in books or in sermons; and because there are many persons weak enough to believe themselves in a safe and innocent course of life, whilst they are daily harassing every body about them by their vexatious humours. But you will, I hope, constantly bear in mind, that you can never treat a fellow-creature unkindly, without offending the kind Creator and Father of all;--and that you can no way render your. self so acceptable to Him, as by studying to promote the happiness of others, in every instance, small as well as great. The favour of God, and the love of your companions, will surely be deemed rewards sufficient to animate your most fervent endeavours: yet this is not all: the disposition of mind, which I would recommend, is its own re. ward, and is in itself essential to happiness. Cultivate it, therefore, my dear child, with your utmost diligence; and watch the symptoms of ill-temper as they rise, with a firm resolution to conquer them, before they are even perceived by any other person. In every such inward conflict, call upon your Maker, to assist the feeble nature he hath given you;-and sacrifice to Him every feeling that would tempt you to disobedience: so will you at length attain the true Christian meekness, which is blessed in the sight of God and man; "which has the promise of "this life, as well as of that which is to come." Then will you pity, in others, those infirmities which you have conquered in yourself; and will think yourself as much bound to assist, by your patience and gentleness, those who are so unhappy as to be under the dominion of evil passions, as you are to impart a share of your riches to the poor and miserable. E Adien, my dearest. LETTER VII. ON ECONOMY. My dearest Niece; ECONOMY is so important a part of a woman's character, so necessary to her own happiness,. and so essential to her performing properly the dus. ties of a wife and of a mother, that it ought to have the precedence of all other accomplishinents, and take its rank next to the first duties of life. It is, moreover, an art as well as a virtue; and, many well-meaning persons, from ignorance, or from inconsideration, are strangely deficient in it. Indeed it is too often wholly neglected in a young woman's education; and, she is sent from her father's house to govern a family, without the least degree of that knowledge, which should qualify her for it: this is the source of much inconvenience: for, though experience and attention may supply, by degrees, the want of instruction, yet this requires time: the family, in the mean time, may get into habits which are very difficult to alter; and, what is worse, the husband's opinion of his wife's incapacity may be fixed too strongly to suffer him ever to think justly of her gradual improvements. I would, therefore, earnestly advise you to make use of every opportunity you can find, for laying-in some store of know ledge on this subject, before you are called upon to the practice; by observing what passes before you, -by consulting prudent and experienced mistresses of families, and by entering in a book a memorandum of every new piece of intelligence you acquire: you may afterwards compare these with more mature observations, and you can make additions and corrections, as you see occasion. I hope it will not be long before your mother entrusts you with some part, at least, of the management of your father's house. Whilst you are under her eye, your ignorance cannot do much harm, though the relief to her at first may not be near so considerable as the benefit to yourself. Economy consists of so many branches, some of which descend to such minuteness, that it is impossible for me in writing to give you particular directions. The rude outlines may be perhaps described, and I shall be happy if I can furnish you with any hint that may hereafter be usefully employed. The first and greatest point is to lay out your general plan of living in a just proportion to your fortune and rank: if these two will not coincide, the last must certainly give way; for, if you have right principles, you cannot fail of being wretched under the sense of the injustice as well as danger of spending beyond your income, and your distress will be continually increasing. No mortifications, which you can suffer from retrenching in your ap. pearance, can be comparable to this unhappiness. If you would enjoy the real comforts of affluence, you should lay your plan considerably within your income; not for the pleasure of amassing wealth,though, where there is a growing family, it is an absolute duty to lay by something every year,but to provide for contingencies, and to have the power of indulging your choice in the disposal of the overplus, either in innocent pleasures, or to increase your funds for charity, and generosity, which are in fact the true funds of pleasure. In some circumstances indeed, this would not be prudent: there are professions in which a man's success greatly depends on his making some figure, where the bare suspicion of poverty would bring on the reality. If, by marriage, you should be placed in such a situation, it will be your duty to exert all your skill in the management of your income: Yet, even in this case, I would not strain to the utmost for appearance, but would choose my models among the most prudent and moderate of my own class; 1 li 1 and be contented with slower advancement, for the sake of security and peace of mind. A contrary conduct is the ruin of many; and, in general, the wives of men in such professions might live in a more retired and frugal manner than they do, without any ill consequence, if they did not make the scheme of advancing the success of their husbands an excuse to themselves for the indulgence of their own vanity and ambition. Perhaps it may be said, that the settling the general scheme of expences is seldom the wife's province, and that many men do not choose even to acquaint her with the real state of their affairs. Where this is the case, a woman can be answerable for no more than is entrusted to her. But I think it a very ill sign, for one or both of the parties, where there is such a want of openness, in what equally concerns them. As I trust you will deserve the confidence of your husband; so I hope you will be allowed free consultation with him on your mutual interest: and, I believe, there are few men, who would not hearken to reason on their own affairs, when they saw a wife ready and desirous to give up her share of vanities and indulgencies, and only earnest to promote the common good of the family. In order to settle your plan, it will be necessary to make a pretty exact calculation: and if, from this time, you accustom yourself to calculations, in all the little expences entrusted to you, you will grow expert and ready at them, and be able to guess very nearly, where certainty cannot be obtained. Many. articles of expence are regular and fixed; these may be valued exactly; and, by consulting with experienced persons, you may calculate nearly the amount of others: any material article of consumption, in a family of any given number and circumstances, may be estimated pretty nearly. Your own expences of clothes and pocket-money should be settled and circumscribed, that you may be sure not to exceed the just proportion. I think it an admirable method to appropriate such a portion of your income, as you judge proper to bestow in cha |