but every thing difgufting to him, and provoking to the eyes of his glory.

And now the queftion would turn in my mind, what muft I do? What fhail I do? Six or feven times over. Indeed, I felt utterly at a lofs what to do. To think of amendment, and much more to make vows concerning it as heretofore, were but a mockery of God and my own foul; and to hope for forgiveness in the courfe that I was in, was the height of prefumption. Só I had no refuge. For a moment defpair took hold upon me, and I even thought of returning and taking my fill of fin, let the confequences be what they might; but then again the thoughts of being loft, and loft for ever, funk into my foul like lead into the waters. While thinking on this my paft hopes alfo recurred to mind, and aggravated the idea of eternal punishment. What, thought I, fhall I at once bid adieu to Chrift, and hope, and heaven, and plunge my foul into endless ruin? At this my heart revolted. What shall I do? What can I do? This was all I could fav.

It is difficult at this diftance of time to recollect with precifion the minute workings of my mind; but as near as I can remember, I was like a man drowning, looking every way for help, or rather catching for fomething by which he might fave his life. I tried to find out if there were any hope in divine mercy, any in the Saviour of finners; but felt repulfed in the thoughts of mercy having been fo basely abufed already. In this ftate of mind, as I was moving flowly on I thought of the refolution of Job, Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: and forafmuch as it yielded me a faint ray of hope, I repeated the words many times over, and at each repetition feemed to gather a little ftrength. It excited a fort of peradventure the Saviour of finners may fave my life, mixed with a determination, if I might, to caft my perifhing foul upon him for falvation, to be both pardoned and purified, for I felt I needed the one as much as the other.

I was not then aware that any poor finner had a warrant to believe in Jefus Chrift for the falvation of his foul; but fuppofed there must be fome kind of qualification to entitle him to do it; yet I was aware I had no qualifications. On a review of my refolution at that time, it feems to resemble that of Efther, who went into the king's prefence contrary to the law, and at the hazard of her life. Like her I feemed reduced to extremities; impelled by dire neceffity to run all hazards, even though I fhould perish in the attempt. Yet

it was not altogether from a dread of wrath, that I fled to this refuge; for I well remember that I perceived fomething attracting in the Saviour. I muft-I will-yes I will -truft my foul-my finful loft foul-in his hands-if I perifh, I perish! Such in fubftance were my refolutions. In this ftate of mind I continued nearly an hour, weeping and fupplicating mercy for the Saviour's fake; (my foul hath it ftill in remembrance and is humbled in me!) and as the eye of my mind was more and more fixed on him, my guilt and fears were gradually and infenfibly removed.

I now found reft for my troubled foul, and I reckon that s should have found it fooner, if I had not entertained the notion of my having no warrant to come to Chrift, without fome previous qualification. This notion was a bar that kept me back for a time, though through divine drawings I was enabled to overleap it. As near as I can remember, in the early part of thefe exercifes, when I fubfcribed to the juftice of God in my condemnation, and thought of the Saviour of finners, I had then relinquifhed every falfe confidence, believed my help to be only in him, and approved of falvation by grace alone, through his death: and if at that time I had known that any poor finner might warrantably have trusted in him for falvation, I conceive I should have done fo, and have found reft unto my foul fooner than I did. I mention this, because it may be the cafe with others; and who may be kept in darkness and defpondency by erroneous views of the gofpel, much longer than I was.

I think alfo I did repent of my fin in the early part of thefe exercises, and before I thought that Chrift would accept and fave my foul. I conceive that juftifying God in my condemnation, and approving the way of falvation by Jefus Chrift neceffarily included it; but yet I did not think at the time that this was repentance or any thing truly good. Indeed I thought nothing about the exercifes of my own mind, but merely of my guilty and loft condition, and whether there were any hope of escape for me. But having found reft for my foul in the crofs of Chrift, I was now conscious of my being the fubject of repentance, faith, and love. When I thought of my paft life, I abhorred myself and repented in duft and afhes; and when of the golpel way of falvation, I drank it in, as cold water is embibed by a thirsty foul. My heart felt one with Chrift, and dead to every other object around me-I had thought I had found the joys of the gospel heretofore; but now I feemed to know that I had found them, and was confcious that I had paffed from death unto life. Yet even now my mind was not fo engaged in reflecting upon my own feelings, as upon the objects which occafioned them.

From this time my former wicked courfes were forfaken. I had no manner of defire after them. They loft their influence upon me. To thofe evils, a glance at which before would have inftantly fet my paffions in a flame, I now felt no inclination: My foul, faid I, with joy and triumph, is as a weaned child! I now knew experimentally what it was to be dead to the world by the crofs of Chrift, and to feel a habitual determination to devote my future life to God my Saviour.

From this time I confider the vows of God as upon me ; but, ah, my friend, I have great reafon for fhame and bitter reflection in reviewing the manner in which they have been fulfilled! Nevertherlefs, by the help of God, I continue in his fervice to this day, and daily live in hope of eternal life, through Jefus Chrift my Lord and only Saviour.

I am affectionately, Your's,

A. B.

ON THE FLIGHT OF TIME.

"Time is dealt out by particles, and thefe

"Are mingled with the ftreaming fands of life."

Young.

A

S the fands in the hour-glafs ftay not in their paffage, but continue in inceffant, though almost imperceptible, motion, till the whole are run out: as the bubbles which dance upon the current vanifh as foon as they meet our touch, and the next which advances may burft ere it comes within our reach; fo fleeting and delufive are the days, the hours, and moments, into which we have divided the rapid ftream of time. The inftant which is but now past has elud. ed our grafp, and is gone never to return-the one we look forward to may never arrive, or, which is the fame to us, may find us cold fenfelefs clay, incapable of embracing the advantages it offers, or profiting by the lofs of those which are gone before it. The prefent moment is all we dare call our own; yet, alas! how often do we trifle with it as if time I had almoft faid eternity itfelf, was fubject. to our controul! How amazing the infatuation which can induce us to throw away thofe gifts, which, though momentary in their duration, are of everlafting importance in their confe-, quences! Henceforth, my dear reader, may you, and I, be

enabled to refolve, that whatever may be the practice of the inconfiderate multitude, we will regard every moment as a talent put into our hands, which must be either ufefully improved, or for ever loft; and may it be the burden of our morning meditation-of our daily ftudy-of our evening prayer-fo as to spend each hour, that if we should be called to exchange worlds before its clofe, we may be prepared to meet our Judge, and cheerfully furrender to him a faithful account of the facred depofit he hath committed to our truft. May it be our care to engage in no employment that will not stand the scrutinizing teft of his all-feeing eye; to partake of no recreation which will tend to unfit our minds for the enjoyments of the bleft above; let us never be found in the fociety of those who can wantonly fport with the facred name of our God, or fcoff at the glorious myfteries of our holy religion but be ever diligent in the paths of duty, and convince the world by our conduct, as well as our profeffion, that whatever others may do, we fear the Lord. So fhall we be enabled through life to poffefs our fouls in patience, and pious refignation to the divine will; neither regretting the hours that are paffed, nor too confidently depending on those which are to come; but calmly waiting for that joyful period when we fhall be admitted, (through the mercies of our God, and the fufferings and interceffions of our dear Redeemer), into thofe blissful regions where forrow and death fhall find no entrance,-where past and future fhall be known no more; but where we shall for ever join in afcribing praifes to the triune God in one eternal Now.

Sandwich.

E. TATLOCK.

CHRISTIANS STUMBLING-BLOCKS TO THE JEWS.

STE

TEPPING into an Hackney-ftage in London one Saturday evening, (fome time ago,) I perceived a decent looking young woman had already taken her feat. In the courfe of a little converfation it appeared that she was a Jewess, who had that day been at the fynagogue, and was returning to Hackney, where the refided. Being, at that time, an Hebrew student myself, I was pleased with the opportunity of converfing with this young perfon on the subject of the Hebrew language, which the feemed to underNand,

The pleasure of the converfation, however, was interrupted by the circumftance of her occafionally taking God's name in vain. This led me to obferve to her, that I was much furprised that fhe fhould thus take the Lord's name in vain, in English, fince I understood the Jews profeffed fuch a pe- . culiar veneration for the Hebrew name Jehovah, that they used another word in its place in reading their own ScripThe anfwer which the returned was-" The Chris

tures.
tians do so.

I with it had been in my power, on this occafion, to have vindicated the character of " the Chriftians," or rather of What a pity it is, thofe who profess the Chriftian name. that the enemies of the gospel fhould have any arguments against it, from the wickedness of those who profefs themfelves its friends! We may difpute, and preach, and write, on the excellency of the Chriftian religion-we may rail at Jews, Turks and Infidels-but, till men, who call themfelves Chriftians, exhibit more of the genuine influence of Christianity in their lives and converfation, in vain do we aim at their converfion. Such "baptifed Infidels," (as many profeffed Christians are,) lie as ftumbling-blocks in the Where is the fpirit of the gospel, way of fuch an event. when men neglect to adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour?-What an unhappiness, when the enemies of Chriftianity can fo juftly fay to its profeffed advocates, "What do ye more than others?"-What a stab is given to the facred caufe of Chrift, when a profane Jewefs attempts to vindicate the violation of the third commandment, by faying, "The Christians do so!" O, ye Chriftians! if ye wish to prove the reality of your faith in Christ, fhew it by your lives and converfation. Wipe away this, and every other reproach of our Chriflian Ifrael; and while fuch laudable attempts are now made to convert the Jews and Heathens to Chriftianity, be careful that you "give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God." ERASTUS. Basing-stoke, June 6th, 1798.