Nothing so good for the money has ever gone out of their establishment. And that evening, when Henry has settled back with his cigar, the woman will say:

"Henry,,to-day I have made a great sacrifice for your sake. I saw a hat for fifty dollars that just exactly suited me. But I thought it was more than you could afford, so I didn't get it." And Henry will straighten up and say:

"Fifty dollars for a hat! Well, I should say so! How much did you pay?"

"Well, guess."

"I should think you might have gotten a good one for eight or ten."

"Now, don't be absurd."

"Well, how much?"

"Just think-only twenty-eight."

"Twenty-eight dollars for a hat! My stars! Why, there isn't a hat in Christendom that's worth twenty-eight dollars. You never paid so much before."

And then the woman will put her arm around him with a gentle smile as she replies:

"But you know, dear, that during the last year the prices of all necessaries have risen."

Philosophy consists in knowing how to be happy though

selfish.

If all men had been born equal there would have been no Declaration of Independence.

THERE were six of them, and one day they sat and told fairy stories, sitting on the wire built by the strange people that

lived in the flat country below.

And this is one of the tales that were whispered to the sighing of the wind and the music of the butterflies:

As the methodical old stork was slowly making his way across country to where the lights of the large city were casting their reflection upon the sky, a tiny hand was thrust out of the wrappings below him, and a tiny voice was heard to exclaim:

"Wait-hold on, old man!"

The stork, in his surprise, almost dropped his freight. Never before, in all his experience, had such a thing occurred-had he been addressed in the midst of such an important journey, by his involuntary guest.

He paused precipitately in his flight.

"Um-ah-yes-what can I do for you?" he asked at last. "Where are you taking me?"

"Why-er-that is, I'm just filling an order."

"Where?"

"Let's see. I must look at the address."

The embarrassed bird paused in mid-air, shifted his burden momentarily to his left wing, put on his spectacles and gazed at a paper.

"Ah, yes-8001 Fifth Avenue." "Must you take me there? Tell me, my good stork, haven't you any choice in the matter? Can't you let me choose? They say there's a baby born somewhere every minute. Can't youjust this once-as a special favor, you know, place me right?"

The stork reflected. Such a proposition had never been made to him before.

"Why, yes," he said at last. "I suppose I could, of course. In fact, I should be only too glad to oblige you. Where would you like to go?"

There was a slight, thoughtful stirring below.

"Perhaps, Mr. Stork, you can advise me. You see this is really an important matter. It concerns my whole future. You must have had much experience. Give me the benefit of your advice. For example, who is this person you were hurrying me to-possibly she might do, after all."

"She's a very nice person. Very wealthy, much given to society, and, well, hum--"

"Out with it!"

"Well, to be candid with you, she regarded you as an intruder, and had secretly made up her mind to leave your care to others."

"Exactly. Do you know, I had an indefinable feeling that such was the case. Who else is there on your list?"

"Let's see. Here's a nice farmer's wife. Country air, rich milk, fresh vegetables, outdoor exercise and all that sort of thing." "She's a hard worker, isn't she?"

"Oh, she's a regular slave."

"Would she want me?"

"Well, probably not-they rarely do, you know—but if you came, she'd do the best she could by you."

"No, thanks. I have a peculiar feeling that I would be doing chores most of my life. Who else?"

"Well, here's a poor woman on the East Side. She has eight others, but if you went to her you'd be loved all right, I can guarantee that. The more she has the more she loves."

"Would she want me?"

"Why, that would never occur to her. She would accept you as a matter of course."

"No! No! She has enough already. Besides, what chance would I have? Why, I'd be nothing better than a pickpocket in fifteen years. Anybody else?"

The good stork sighed. "Plenty," he observed. My! but she's well educated.

"Here's a nice college graduate! She's an intellectual wonder."

"Could she bathe me properly, feed me properly and clothe me properly?"

ters."

"Dear me, no! She doesn't know anything about such mat

"I know of what you are thinking. They are an incompetent lot, aren't they? Dear old stork

The baby arms reached up and clasped themselves pleadingly around the grizzled bird's neck.

"Do me a real favor, will you-now?”

The stork bent over. With a premonitory flap he had already begun to turn in his flight.

"Yes" he said. what you say. What do

"Just once as an exception. I'll do you wish?"

"Only this, dear stork. Take me back to where I came from."

"LIFE'S" CELEBRATED AUTO RACE.

I.

THE ARRANGEMENTS.

FTER some delay in arranging the preliminaries, Life is at last able to announce that Fifth Avenue has been secured for the next International Auto Race.

The authorities were at first inclined to object, but when we pointed with pride to the fact that the Automobile Club of America was with us, and that several of our youngest and most reckless millionaires were actually suffering

for a new sensation, they joyfully yielded. The start will be made from Washington Square, and the contestants will go up Fifth Avenue to One