"Your ball!" "Yes. In the public school building. It is given by the influential ladies of the town. There will be dancing until four c'clock in the morning-or later. Music by an imported orchestra from the metropolis. Supper at eleven." She advanced, and in a light, kittenish way tapped the Mayor on his astonished chin. "You will be there," she said. 'I know you'll come-you and all your friends. We will have a grand time." The Mayor thought of the widow from Memphis, who was crowding him very close. "But- he stammered, "I have an engagement for tonight." "So I thought. But she is coming, too. See, here is her charming note of acceptance." She held out a dainty note. It was in the widow's handwriting. "Of course," said the Mayor, "that being the case, I" "Oh, I knew you would. Everybody will be there. Dancing at nine. Thank you so much." She swept out, leaving the Mayor thunderstruck. At this moment the President of the Borough came in. His face was jubilant. "What did I tell you!" he exclaimed. Are you going to the ball this evening?" "The end is near. "What the dev- What's the meaning of all this?" "The meaning is this: This morning the enemy met in solemn conclave. I managed to smuggle in a spy. Our firm attitude made them see there was no hope. And so they passed unanimously a set of resolutions. Gideon has them. I came on in advance to tell you the glad news. Ah, here he is now." The Town Clerk, his face beaming, burst into the room. In his hand he waved a paper. "Listen to this," he exclaimed. He read as follows: RESOLUTION. The ladies of this municipality, who have hitherto held positions of trust in the public offices and private enterprises, are confronted with a serious. situation. ened. The peace and good will of the town are threat Having stood out for over a week with no effect upon the Mayor and his Council, we see now that another course must be immediately taken. Therefore, Resolved, That we stoop to conquer. We shall see if a lot of giddy minxes are going to get ahead of us. We approach this matter in the calm, scientific, intellectual attitude that has hitherto characterized our conduct. A committee on flirting will at once be formed. Every woman will hereafter wear the most stunning gowns she can buy. It shall be the sense of this meeting that every one of us shall cut out the enemy by every blandishment known to us as daughters of Eve. No man shall escape. We ask no odds. We are as handsome and lively as the rest of the world. And we'll prove it. Every woman in this meeting must be loved within a week. We stand on our own merits. To start the movement, a grand ball will be given immediately, to which all are invited. Come one, come all. As the President of the Borough concluded, he turned to his two friends. "I told you how it would be," he said. "I've had some experience with women. All they needed was a little competition. They'll all be back in their places next week when we've given them a little encouragement.' The Mayor and the Town Clerk embraced him in a spirit of municipal jubilance. "You're a genius!" they exclaimed in unison. And then, as a large, cold bottle was brought in and opened, the Mayor held up his glass reverently in the light of the new régime that was beginning to dawn on the town of Besum. "Boys," he said, solemnly, "here's to the first pair of twins!" ABSENT TREATMENT AND AN AUTO. (WITHERBY has invited Bilter out to take a ride with him in his new auto.) BILTER BY Jove, old man, she's a fine looker. WITHERBY-Isn't she? And a great goer, too. Where shall we skip to? "Anywhere you say. Sure you understand about running her?" "I understand all that is necessary." "Ever had any trouble?" "Oh, yes. I used to have lots of it." "I suppose you learned how to run the thing so well that now you anticipate everything." "Well, not exactly that. Old man, can you keep a secret?" "Why, yes, of course." "Then listen. When I first got this machine the blamed thing was breaking down all the time. Constant trouble. I was about to give up the whole thing in despair when a brilliant idea occurred to me. I consulted a Christian Scientist." "What for?" "Why, for the auto, of course! Now every time I start out for a ride I notify him, and he gives me absent treatment while I'm gone. No more trouble. Everything serene. I can go out now in perfect ease and confidence. Isn't it great?" "Um! It's great if it works." "Well, you jump in and we'll see." (Witherby starts up the machine and they go off down the road at a great pace.) "Of course it may seem foolish and absurd, but the fact is that before this car had absent treatment there was trouble all the time. And since then absolutely none. I" (The auto gives a chug, chug and stops.) "Hello! What's that?" "Thought you said—" "Just wait. Only temporary." (After a lengthy search of fifteen minutes, in which Witherby tries every conceivable manner to start up the machine, the trouble is finally located in the spark plug. A new one is inserted and they proceed.) "Never knew that to happen before." "You are paying that chap for his absent treatment, aren't you?" "Sure. Five dollars an afternoon." "Well, I should dock him for the time lost if I were you. I" (There is a loud, whirring noise, and the machine is brought to a sudden halt by Witherby.) "Now, what the dev" (He listens anxiously.) "Your friend, the healer, is evidently taking things easy." "I must say it's strange." (Witherby jumps off, makes an other investigation and finds the starting chain has broken loose, and has been playing tag with the flywheel. He repairs it after nearly twenty minutes' hard labor.) "I guess, old man, there is something the matter with your friend. Perhaps this is an off day with him." doubt of that. I (He goes to the returns, his face "By Jove! Something is wrong, there's no guess I'll call him up over the 'phone and see." nearest long-distance 'phone, and in ten minutes radiant.) "There! I knew it was something, because everything has worked so well before under his treatment." "Well, what is it?" "You!" "I!" WITHERBY-Yes. You see he treats the machine. Now, I believe in it, but you don't. The consequence is that your opposing thought breaks it every once in a while. BILTER-Well, what do you expect me to do? I can't jolly up too much sudden faith in this treatment, old chap, when we've already broken down twice. "You don't have to. healer going to treat you. I've fixed all that. There's another Now we'll have a beautiful ride.” "Rather expensive, isn't it, when you've got to have a healer for everyone who goes out with you?" "My dear boy, no automobilist ever considers expense as long as he can make his car run. Hello! I'm all out of cylinder oil." "That's easy." (Grimly.) "Tell the healer to put his mind. on the piston and it will run as smooth as grease.' me. WITHERBY (absorbed)-Ah, well, I mustn't let that disturb Here goes. (Again he starts up the car, and once more they are off. After some time, in which nothing is heard but the rhythmic tune of the machine, Witherby turns confidently to his guest.) "There! You see how it works. It's great to feel that this treatment is dead sure." |