toward the dollar, saying, 'It is mine; I am too lazy to creep for it.' 'Wait a moment,' says the Colonel; wait a moment, and let us hear from Dave.' Dave had sat during the whole time perfectly unmoved, smoking a short pipe. The Colonel said, 'Dave, what have you got to say about the dollar?' Dave deliberately took his pipe out of his mouth, and coolly drawled out, 'We-we-wy, Cur-Cur-Curnel, 'f I'm to h-h-have the do-do-dollar, y-y-you mama-must put it in ma-ma-my pocket!' He then put his pipe in his mouth, and the 'Curnel' put the dollar in his pocket."

"EVERY body that has traveled much on the Lakes is conversant with the name of Captain Fred W, and hundreds still live who were proud of classing him among their list of particular friends. Fred had an extreme sense of the ludicrous. In a thriving city of the West a splendid church had been erected; and in order to keep up with the times it was decided to build a parsonage, which, as the church was called St. Paul's, must of course be St. Paul's parsonage. A door-plate to this effect was accordingly prepared, and in due time adorned the front door.

"Passing that way one day, with three or four companions, Fred discovered the door-plate, and without a word to his companions mounted the steps and rang the bell. A blooming descendant of the Emerald Isle answered the summons, when Fred, with a slight bow, inquired if 'Mr. St. Paul was in?' The girl promptly answered, 'No, Sir;' when Fred, with all the sang froid of a lawyer, asked if Mrs. St. Paul was in? Looking at him a moment, she said she would inquire. I would only add that when the girl returned Fred and his companions had gone; and the next day the door-plate was gone too."

"COLONEL B, formerly commanding officer at Fort Vancouver, was a 'character-gruff and fond of a joke, yet kind-hearted withal, as most men fond of a joke are. There are several good things told of him, which, unless the Drawer will spread them, are doomed to remain in their present limited circle of the camp fire and barrack-room. Here is one :

"The guard-house had been undergoing repairs, and the Colonel was looking through the rooms, attended by the sergeant of the guard. The latter seized the opportunity to ask the commanding officer to sign a 'requisition for a couple of brooms for the use of the guard;' as heretofore, while the floors were in a dilapidated state, only brushes of willow, birch, and other undergrowth had been used to sweep about the place, and these were very rude affairs made by the soldiers.

"What's that?' says the Colonel; 'oh yes! oh yes! come up to my quarters with me and I'll give you an order for brooms; certainly-certainly!'

"Now don't you feel mean? Don't say a word, I know you did it-I see it in your faces! What did Congress raise your pay for? To keep you from stealing officers' chickens, to be sure!'-and the Colonel paced up and down before them impatiently. Then, after a pause, 'You know I can't prove it-you know it, you rascals-so off to your quarters, and mind you don't say a word about it; and if your consciences trouble you, just think to yourselves, 'how well we did it--how well we did it!'

"Afterward one of these men was detailed for orderly to the Colonel, and coming up to the porch, was greeted with,

"Here you come-here you come again! run to the post-office while I lock the chicken-coop and hide the key!""

A TRUE wife writes the following to her beloved husband. The letter is genuine. What a comfort it must be to receive such an epistle!

SIR,-I amuse myself by addressing you a few lines as I received a letter from you, and that you were quite welcome as you wrote without the Slightest Consent and as for your awkerdness I did not see and as for your rashness I did not perceive and as I will be verry much gratified word in secret to you as I think I will agree if your opinto being in your favor as I am not opposed to speaking a ion of me is of a true heart and willing mind if you are under any good design as I hope you will be as I have the propper mode of choosing to my notion as this is a charming pleasure as I think you will be comforted by my little opinion as I am so worthy of Speaking in your favor for truly I have used my own pleasure and if you are not advancing on firm foundation it is at my reception and not at my refusal and please understand me for I shall not be counterfeit false hearted and deceitful and believe me if I have not turned to your great pleasure I have so endeavored So answer my affection but use your own pleasure excuse me for my bad mistakes and reveal this seMARY

cret to nun.

"Mr oldest boy- -a four-year old-had a present of a little wheel-barrow not long since; and in the evening he was propelling it up and down the parlor floor at a rapid rate, and so disturbing the company with his noise that his father directed him to cease his racing, and, if he must play with his wheel-barrow, to walk up and down. He is a very obedient boy, and for some time he endeavored to comply with the directions. At last he exclaimed, 'Papa, I do try to walk; but the wheel-barrow won't walk !"

SOON after the telegraph was put in operation on the line of the Ohio and Mississippi Railroad in Martin County, one of the natives stepped into the office and wanted to know the price of pork in Cincinnati. In a few moments an answer came, with a charge of thirty-five cents for the information; but the "hoosier" was too smart to be caught that way, and

"Oh no, Mr. Telegrapher, you can't fool me that

way.

I'm not as green as you think I am! That darn'd tickin' thing of yourn ha'nt been out of this room; I watched it all the time !”