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Tell him to send me down that song
He said he loved the best of any, —
And-bid him love me,-won't you, Fanny?
WHEREFORE, Fanny, look so lovely,
In your anger, in your glee?
Prythee, look at me!
Wherefore, Fanny, sing so sweetly,
Like the bird upon the tree, -
Prythee, sing to me!
Like the wave upon the sea ?
Prythee, dance with me!
Wherefore smile so like an angel,
Angel-like although you be?
Prythee, smile on me!
Wherefore flirt, and aim your arrows
At each harmless fop you see?
Prythee, flirt with me!
Wherefore, Fanny, kiss and fondle
Half the ugly brats you see?
Prythee, fondle me !
Wherefore wedlock's lottery enter?
Chances for you, one to three !
Prythee, marry me !
A DISCOURSE DELIVERED BY A COLLEGE
Ye dons and ye doctors, ye provosts and proctors,
Who are paid to monopolise knowledge, Come make opposition, by vote and petition,
To the radical infidel college ; Come put forth your powers, in aid of the towers
Which boast of their bishops and martyrs ; And arm all the terrors of privileged errors
Which live by the wax of their charters.
Let Mackintosh battle with Canning and V
Let Brougham be a friend to the niggers,
And Hume make a figure in figures ;
Nor teach the mechanics their letters;
And not to be aping their betters. 'Tis a terrible crisis for Cam and for Isis,
Fat butchers are learning dissection;
To study the laws of reflection ;
Are taught to the poor of both sexes,
To flirt with their y's and their x's.
Chuck farthing advances the doctrine of chances
In spite of the staff of the beadle ;
Write books on the laws of the needle ;
Who communicate none to their tallows;
Which is only of use at the gallows.
The gin-shops are turned into cloisters ;
A Copleston open your oysters ;
The erudite tunes of St. Mary's ;
And Bishopsgate blossom with Airy's.
The nature of granites, the tricks of the planets,
The forces of steam and of gases,
The ranging of beetles in classes,
The impossible roots of equations,
Fit food for a cit's lucubrations ?
The eloquent pages of time-hallowed sages,
Embalmed by some critical German,
The squabbles of Porson with Hermann,
Your infinite powers of particles,
But oh, since fair science will cruelly fly hence,
To smile upon vagrants and gypsies,
If they leave us the whole of the honey,
He puts in no claim for plate-money.
To feed on the beef and the benison,
Digest their belief and their venison, * Referring to a note by Bishop Monk on the Greek Play, “Facile persentibunt juvenes."
Ye duels scholastic, where quibbles monastic
Are asserted with none to confute them,
Are settled with none to dispute them :
Of port and of puddings shall bilk ye;
The watermen try to out-tope us ;
Or Brougham and Co. cope with our Copus. *
Have join'd in the dance to-night,
Where all was seducing and bright;
Thy form the most sylph-like of all,
That e'er held a partner in thrall,
The waltz, the quadrille, and the song-
The heartless adieu of the throng; * This poem was published in the Morning Chronicle of 19th July 1825, in reference to a meeting in proniotion of the scheine for the London University that had been held at the London Tavern on the first of that month.