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And fea | 社
That stands on tricks, when I am undispos'd: So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,
Sista Where is the thousand marks, thou hadst of me? With urgiug helpless patience would'st relieve me:
Vous Dro. E. I have some marks of yours upon my pate, But, if thou live to seelike right berest,
So he Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders, This fool-begg’d patience in thee will be left.
ilme, But not a thousand marks between you both. Luc. Well, I will marry one day, but to try;
W2 If I should pay your worship those again, Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh.
Thatc Perchance, you will not bear them patiently.
Enter Dronto of Ephesus.
Wear Ant. s. Thy mistress' marks! what mistress, slave, Adr. Say, is your tardy master now at hand?
But fa hast thou?
Dro. E. Nay, he is at two hands with me, and that
Luc. She that doth fast, till you come home to dinner,
Ant. š. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face, Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it.
Dro. E. Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. feel luis blows; and withal so doubtfully, that I could
[Exit Dro. E. scarce understand them.
It seems, he hath great c:re to please his wife.
How As, nimble jugglers, that deceive the eye,
Adr. Ilorn-mad, thou villain?
low Soul-killing witches, that deform the body;
stark mad: Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
When I desir'd him to come home to dinner, And many such like liberties of sin. leash'i me fora thousand marks in gold :
TML If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
'Tis dinner-time, quothl; My gold, quoth he: I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave;
Your meat do:h burn, quoth I; My gola, quoth he:
(Exit. Will you come home? quoth I; My gold, gnoth he:
The pig, quoth I, is burn'd; My gold, quoth he:
1 Adr. Neither my husband, nor the slave retum’d, Dro. E. Quoth my master:
W That in such haste I sent to seek his master!
I know, quoth he, no house, no wife, no mistress ;--
So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
Adr. Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home! A man is master of his liberty:
Dro. E. Go back again, and be new beaten home? Time is their master; and, when they see time, For God's sake, send some other messenger ! They'll go, or come. If so, be patient, sister!
Adr. Back, slave, or I will break thy head across. Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be more? Dro. E. And he will bless that cross with other beatLuc. Because their business still lies out o’door.
ing: Adr. Look, when I serve him so, he takes itill.
Between you I shall have a holy head. Luc. 0, know, he is the bridle of your will.
Adr. Hence,prating peasant ; fetch thy master home! Adr. There's none, but asses, will be bridled so. Dro. E. Am I so round with you, as you with me, Luc. Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe. That like a football you do spårn me thus ? There's nothing, situate under heaven's
You spurn me hence, and he will spuro me hither : But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky:
If Iast in this service, you must case me in leather. The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
(Exit. Are their males' subject, and at their controls : Luc. Fye, how impatience lowreth in your face! Men, more divine, the masters of all these,
Adr. His company must do his minions grace, Lords of the wide world, and wild watry scas, Whilst I at home starve for a merry look... Indued with intellectual sense and souls,
Hath homely age the alluring beauty took Of more pre-eminence, than fish and fowls,
From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it:
If voluble and sharp discourse bemarr’d,
What ruins are in me, that can be found
By him not ruin’d? then is he the ground
Adr. Patience, unmov’d, no marvelthough sho pausc; But, too upruly deer, he breaks the pale,
And feeds from home; poorlam but his stale.
Luc. Self-harming jealousy! - fye, beat it hence! Webid be quiet, when we hear it cry;
Adr. Umfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense. But were we burden'd with like weight of pain, I kuow his eye doth homage otherwhere; As much, or more, weshould ourselves complain : Or else, what lets it but he would be here?
Sister, you know, he promis'd me a chain;
Ant. S. I'll make you amends next, to give you noWould that alone, alone he would detain,
thing for something. But say, sir, is it dinner time? So he would keep fair quarter with his bed!
Dro. S. No, sir; I think the meat wants that I have.
Ant. S. In good time, sir, what's that?
Ant. S. Well, sir, then 'twill be dry.
Ant, S. Your reason?
Dro. S. Lest it make you choleric, and purchase me
another dry basting.
[Exeunt. a time for all things.
Dro. S. I durst have denied that, before you were so
Dro. S. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain, as the plain
bald pate of father Time himself.
Ant. S. Let's hear it.
Dro. 8. There's no time for a man to recover his
Ant. S. May he not do it by fine and recovery?
now, sir? is your merry humour alter'd? Dro. 8. Yes, to pay a fine for his peruke, and recover
the lost hair of another man.
beasts: and what he hath scanted men in hair, he hath
Ant. S. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain
Dro. S. I am glad to see you in this merry vein. Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost: yet he
Dro. 8. Fortwo; and sound ones too.
[Beating him. Dro. S. Sure ones, then.
Dro. S. Certain ones then.
Ant. S. Name them!
Dro. S. The one, to save the money, that he spends
in tiring: the other, that at dinner they should not Your sauciness will jest upon my love,
drop in his porridge.
Ant. 8. You would all this time lrave proved, there
recover hair lost by nature.
Ant. S. But your reason was not substantial, why Or I will beat this method in your sconce.
there is no time to recover.
Enter ADRIANA and Luciaxa.
Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange, and frown!
I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.
That never words were music to thine ear, Ant. S. Why, first for flouting me; and then, That never object pleasing in thine eye, wherefore,
That never touch well-welcome to thy hand,
That never meat sweet-savour'd in thy taste,
How comesit now, my husband, oh, how comes it,
nor reason? Well, sir, I thank
Thyself I call it, being strange to me,
That, undividable, incorporate,
Am better, than thy dear self's bet er part.
For know, my love, as easy may'st thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulph,
Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form.
Dro. S. No, I am an ape.
Luc. If thou art chang'd to anght, 'tis to an ass.
Dro. S. 'Tis true; sherides me, and I long for grass,
But I should know her, as well as she knows me.
Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye and weep,
Come, sir, to dinner! Dromio, keep the gate!-
Ilusband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
Come, sister: – Dromio, play the porter well !
Ant, S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping, or waking? mad, or well-advis'd ?
Known unto these, and to myself disguis’d!
I'll say as they say, and persever so,
Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.
А ст III.
Enter AntipolUs of Ephesus, Dromo of Ephesus,
ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR.
Ant. E. Good signior Augelo, you must excuseus all;
Say, that Iinger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her carkanet,
He met me on the mart; and that I beat him,
And that I did deny my wife and house:--
That you beat me at the mart, I have your
hand to To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave,
If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave,
Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.
Dro. E. Marry, so it doth appear
I should kick, being kicked ; and being at that pass,
You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass.
Ant. E. You are sud, signior Balthazar: 'pray God,
Mayanswermy good will, and your good welcome here.
Ant. I. O, signior Balthaz either at flesh, or fish,
A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish,
Bul. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl
Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's no-
Luc. Whiy prat'st thou to thyself, and answer’st not? Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.
, thou slug, thou sot? But, soft; my door is lockd; go bid them let us in!
Lu Dri Dri
when you may
Either get thee from the door,or sit down at the hatch: | Ant. E. Go, fetch me something, I'll break
the Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for gate. such store,
Dro.s. Break any thing here, and I'll break your
and stays in the street.
words are but wind;
Dro. S. It seems thou wantest breaking: out upon
let me in.
havevo fin. Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, Ant. E. Well, I'll breakin; go, borrow me a crow!
Dro.E. A crow without a feather;master,mean you so? Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a the honse I owe?
feather: Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together. is Dromio.
Ant. E. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron crow!
Herein yon war against your reputation,
Thelluviolated honour of your wife.
Her sober virtue, years, and modests,
Aud doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse,
Why at this time the doors are made against you.
Be rul'd by me; depart in patience,
Aud let us to the Tiger all to dinner:
And, about evening, come yourself alone,
Now in the stirring passage of the day,
And that supposed by the common rout
That may with foulintrusion enter in,
And dwell upon your grave when you are dead :
For slander lives upon succession ;
Ant. É. You have prevail'd; I will depart in quiet,
Aud, in despight of mirth, mean to be merry.
I know a wench of excellent discourse,
Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle;--
There will we dine: this woman that I mean, Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door My wife (but, I protest, without desert,) down.
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal;
And fetch the chain; by this, I know, 'tis made.
For there's the house; that chain will I bestow
Upon mine hostess there! Good sir, makehaste! Ant E. Are you there, wife? you might have come Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me, before,
I'll knock elsewhere, to see if they'll disdain me.
SCENE II.- The same. Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part with Enter Luciana and AntiP!!OJ.Cs of Syracuse. neither.
Luc. And may it be, that you have quite forgot
Even in the spring of love, thy lovc-springs rot?
Shall love, in building, grow so ruinate?
If you did wed my sister for her wealth,
Then, for her wealth's sake, use her with more kind were thin. Your cake here is warm within ; you stand here in the Or, if yod like elsewhere, do it by stealth, cold:
Muffle your false love with some show of blindness : It would make a man mad, as a buck, to be so bought Let not my sister read it in your eyes
Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator;
Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty;
Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger:
myself. Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted; Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides thyTeach sin the carriage of a holy saint;
self? Be secret-false! What need she be acquainted ? Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a
What simple thief brags of his own attaint? woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one 'Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed,
that will have me. And let her read it in thy looks at board.
Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed;
Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim, as you would lay to Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word.
your horse; and she would have me as a beast : not Alas, poor women! make us but believe,
that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that she, Being compact of credit, that you love us;
being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me. Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve ; Ant. S. What is she?
Wein your motion turn, and you may move us. Dro. S. A very reverent body; ay, such a one, as a
man inay not speak of, without he say, sir-reverence: Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife ! I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a won'Tis holy sport, to be a little vain,
drous fat marriage. When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife. Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage? Ant. S. Sweet mistress, (what your name is else, I Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all know not,
grease; and I know not, what use to put her to, but to Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine,)
make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you show not, I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn
Than our earth's wonder; more than earth divine. a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn
Ant. S. What complexion is she of?
Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing
Ant. S. That's a fault, that water will mend.
Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain ; Noah's flood could not Transform methen, and to your power I'll yield.
do it. But if that I am I, then well I know,
Ant. S. What's her name? Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
Dro. S. Nell, sir;- but her name and three quarNor to her bed no homage do I owe;
ters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not meaFar more, far more, to you do I decline.
sure her from hip to hip. O, train menot, sweet mermaid, with thy note, Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth ? To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears!
Dro. S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote:
to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, countries in her. And as a bed I'll takethee, and there lie,
Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland ?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out
Ant. S. Where England ?
by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. Luc. That's my sister.
Ant.S. Where Spain? Ant. S. No;
Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot in her It is thyself, mine own self's better part;
breath. Mine cye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart; Ant. S. Where America, the Indies ? My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim, Dro. S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o’er embellished My sole earth's heaven, and my heaven's claim ! with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be. rich aspect to the hot breath of'Spain'; who sent whole Ant. S. Call thyself' sister, sweet, for I aim thee: armadas of carracks, to be ballast at her nose. Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life;
Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands ? Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife :
Dro. S. 0, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, Give me thy hand!
this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, called me Luc. 0, soft, sir, hold you still !
Dromio, swore, I was assured to her, told me, what I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will. (Exit Luc. privy marks I had about me, as the mark on my shoulEnter, from the house of Antipholus of Ephesus, der, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left Deomio af Syracuse.
arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch : and, I Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where run'st thou think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my so fast?
heart of steel, she had transformed me to a curtailDro. S. Do you know me, sir ? am I Dromio ? am I dog, and made me turn i'the wheel. your man? am I myself?
Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road ! Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art And if the wind blow any way from shore, thyself.
I will not harbour in this town to-night.