« PreviousContinue »
Ilost. Where is your yeoman ? Is it a lusty yeoman?, Ch. Just. For what sum? willa'stand to't?
Host. It is more than for some, my lord; it is for Fang. Sirrah, where's Snare?
all, all I have: he hath eaten me out of house and Host. O lord, ay: good master Snare.
home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly Snare. Here, here.
of his: – but I will have some of it out again, or I'll Fang. Snare, we must arrest sir Jolin Falstaff. ride thee o’nights, like the mare. Host. Yea, good master Snare; I have entered him Fal, I think, I am as like to ride the mare, if I have and all.
any vantage of ground to get up. Snare. It may chance cost some of us our lives, for Ch. Just. How comes this, sir John? Fye! what man he will stab.
of good temper would endure this tempest of exclaHost. Alas the day! take heed of him; he stabbed mation? Are you not ashamed, to enforce a poor widow me in mine own house, and that most beastly: in good (to so rough a course to come by her own? faith, a' cares not what mischief he doth, if his
weapon Fal. What is the gross sum that I owe thee? beout: he will foin like any devil; he will spare neither Host. Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself, man, woman, nor child.
and tlıy money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a Fang. If I can close with him, I care not for his a parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin-chamber, thrust.
at the round table, by a seacoal fire, upon WednesHost. No, nor Ineither: I'll be at your elbow. day in Whitsun-week, when the prince broke thy Fang. An I but fist him once; an a' come bat within head for liking his father to a singing-man of Windmy vice;
sor; thon didst swear to me then, as I was washing Host. I am undone by his going; I warrant you, he's thy wond, to marry me, and make me my lady, thy an infinitive thing upon my score: - good master wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, Fang, hold him sure; good master Snare, let him the butcher's wife, come in then, and call me gossip not 'scape. He comes continuantly to Pie-corner, Quickly? coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar; tel(saving your manhoods,) to buy a saddle; and he's in- liug us, she had a good dish of prawns; whereby dited to dinner to the lubbar's head in Lumbert-street, thou didst desire to cat soine; whereby I told thee, to master Smooth's the silkman: I pray ye, since my they were ill for a green wound? And didst thou not, exion is entered, and my case so openly known to the when she was gone down stairs, desire me to be no world, let him be brought in to his answer. A hundred more so familiarity with such poor people; saying, mark is a long loan for a poor lone woman to bear: and that ere long they should call me madam? And didst I have borne, and borne, and borne; and have been thou not kiss me, and bid me fetch thee thirty shilfubbed off, and fubbed off, and fubbed off, from this lings? I put thee now to thy book-oath; deny it, if day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on. thou canst. There is no honesty in such dealing; unless a woman Fal, My lord, this is a poor mad soul; and she says, should be made an ass, and a beast, to bear every up and down the town, that her eldest son is like knave's wrong.
you: she hath been in good case, and, the trath is, Enter Sir Joux Falstaff, Page, and BARDOLPH, poverty hath distracted her. But for these foolish offiYonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey-nose cers, I beseech you, I may have redress against them, knave, Bardolph, with him., Do your offices, do your Ch. Just. Sir John, sir John, I am well acquainted offices, master Fang, and master Snare; do me, do me, with your manner of wrenching the true cause the do me your offices.
false way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng Fal. How now? whose mare's dead? what's the of words, that come with such more than impudent matter?
sanciness from yon, can thrust me from a level con Fang. Sir Jolin, I arrest you at the suit of mistress sideration; you have, as it appears to me, practised Quickly.
upon the easy-yielding spirit of'this woman, and made
Host. Throw me in the channel? I'll throw thee in Ch. Just. Pr’ythee, peace! -- Pay her the debt you
out reply. You call honourable boldness, impadept Fal. Keep them off, Bardolph!
sauciness: if a man will make court’sy, and say noFang. A rescue! a rescue!
thing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my humble duty Host. Good people, bring a rescue or two. Thou remembered, I will not be your suitor; I say to you, wo't, wo't thou? thou wo't, wo't thou? do, do, thou i do desire deliverance from these officers, being upou rogue! do, thou hemp-seed !
hasty employment in the king's affairs.
but answer in the effect of your reputation, and sa-
Enter GOWER. stand to me!
Ch. Just. Now, master Gower, what news?
Are near at hand: the rest the paper tells.
[Taking her aside.
come, no more trords
my lord ?
Fal. Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking: and for use?—but that, the tennis-court keeper knows better thy walls,
- a pretty slight drollery, or the story of than I : for it is a low ebb of linen with thee, when thon the prodigal or the German hunting in water-work, keepest not racket there; as thou hast not done a great is worth a thousand of these bed-hangings, and these while, because the rest of thy low-countries have made fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound, if thou a shift to eat up thy holland : and God knows, whecanst. Come, an it were not for thy humours, there ther those, that bawl out the ruins of thy linen, shall is not a better wench in England. Go, wash thy face, inherit his kingdom: but the midwives say, the chiland 'draw thy action. Come, thou must not be in this dren are not in the fault; whereupon the world increashumour with me; dost not know me? Come, come, es, and kindreds are mightily strengthened. I know thou wast set on to this.
Poins. Howill it follows, after you have laboured so Ilost. Pray thee , sir John, let it be but twenty no- hard, you should talk so idly? Tell me,how many good bles; i'faith I am loath to pawn my plate, in good young princes would do so, their fathers being so sick earnest, la.
as yours' at this time is?
Poins. Yes; and let it be an excellent good thing.
Poins. Go to ; I stand the push of your one thing
P. Hen. Why, I tell thee, - it is not meet, that I Host. Will you have Doll Tear-sheet meet you at should be sad, now iny father is sick: albeit I could supper?
tell to thee, (as to one it pleases me, for fault of a Fal. No more words: let's have her.
better, to call my friend,) I could be sad, and sad (Exeunt Hostess, Bardolph, Officers, indeed too.
Poins. Very hardly, upon such a subject.
P. Hen. By this hand, thou think'st me as far in
the devil's book, as thou, and Falstaff, for obduracy Ch. Just. Where lay the king last night?
and persistency: let the end try the man. But I tell Gow. At Basingstoke, my lord.
thee, -my heart bleeds inwardly, that my father is so Fa!. I hope, my lord, all's well. What's the news, sick: and keeping such vile company as thou art,hath
in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow. Ch. Just. Come all his forces back?
Poins. The reason?
way better than thine: every man would think me Ch. Just. What's the matter?
an hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most Ful. Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to worshipful thought, to think so? dinner?
Poins. Why, because you have been so lewd, and Gow. I must wait upon my good lord here; I thank so much engrafled to Falstaff. you, good Sir John.
P. Hen. And to thee. Ch. Just. Sir John, you loiter here too long, being Poins. By this light, I am well spoken of, I can hear you are to take soldiers up in counties as you go. it with my own ears: the worst that they can say of Fal. Will you sup with me, master Gower ? me is, that I am a second brother, and that I am a Ch. Just. What foolish master taught you these man- proper fellow of my hands; and those two things, I ners, sir John ?
confess, I cannot help. By the mass, here comes BarPal. Master Gower, if they become me not, he was dolph. a fool that taught them me.--This is the right fencing P. Hen. And the boy that I gave Falstaff: he had grace, my lord; tap for tap, and so part fair. him from me christian ; and look, if the fat villain Ch. Just. Now the Lord lighten thee! thou art a have not transformed him ape.
Enter BauDOLPH and Page.
P. Hen. And yours, most noble Bardolph!
Bard. Come, you virtuous ass, [To the Page.] you Poins. Is it come to that? I had thought, weariness bashful fool, must you be blushing? wherefore blush, durst not have attached one of so high blood. you now? What a maidenly man at arms are you be
P. Hen. 'Faith, it does me; thoughit discolours the come? Is it such a matter to get a pottle-pot's maiden-
P. Hen. Belike then, my appetite was not princely thought, he had made two holes in the ale-wife's
Til ti SCEN
P. Hen. A crown's worth of good interpretation. | Bard. I have no tongue, sir.
[Gives him money. Page. And for mine, sir, - I will govern it.
Bard. An you do not make him be hanged among Poins. I warrant you, as common as the way between
Saint Alban's and London.
Bard. Well, my lord. He heard of your grace's co-to-night in his true colours, and not onrselves be seen?
Poins. Put on two leather jerkins, aud aprons, and Poins. Deliver’d with good respect. And how doth wait upon him at his table as drawers. the martlemas, your master?
P. Hen. From a god to a bull ? a heavy descension ! Bard. In bodily health, sir.
it was Jove's case. From a prince to a prentice? a Poins. Marry, the immortal part needs a physician: low transformation! that shall be mine; for, in every but that moves not him; though that be sick, it dies thing, the purpose must weigh with the folly. l'ol
low me, Ned!
Exeunt. P. Hen. I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me as my dog: and he holds his place; for, look you, SCENE III. - arkworth. Before the castle. how he writes.
Enter NorTUU MEERLAND, Lady NONTHUMBERLAND, and Poins. (Reads.] John Falstaff , knight,--Every man
Lady Pency. must know that, as oft as he has occasion to name North. I pray thee, loving wife, and gentle danghter, himself. Even like those, that are kin to the king; Give even way unto my rough allairs : for they never prick their finger, but they say, There Put not you on the visage of the times, is some of the king's blood spilt: How comes that? And be, like them, to Percy troublesome. says he, that takes upon him not to conceive: the Lady N. I have given orer, I will speak no more: answer is as ready as a borrower's cap; I am the Do what you will; your wisdom be king's poor cousi, sir.
North. Alas, sweet wife, my honouris at pawo; P. Hen. Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will And, but my going, nothing can redeem it, fetch it from Japhet. But the letter:
Lady P. O, yet, for God's sake, go not to these wars! Poins. Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of the Thetime was, father, that you broke your word, king, nearest his father, Harry prince of Wales, When you were more endear'd to it than now; greeting. – Why, this is a certificate.
When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry, P. llen. Peace!
Threw many a northward look, to see his father
Did all the chivalry of England move
as to say, as thou usest him,) Jack Fal- Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves.
Became the accents of the valiant;
Would turn their own perfection to abuse,
In military rules, humours of blood,
That fashion'd others. And him,
To look upon the hideous god of war Bard. Yes, my lord.
In disadvantage, to abide a field,
Did seem defensible :--so you left him:
To hold your honour more precise and nice
The marshal, and the archbishop, are strong; Page. None, my lord, but old mistress Quickly, and Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers, mistress Doll Tear-sheet.
To-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck, P. Hen. What pagan may that be?
Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave. Page. A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kiaswo- North. Beshrew your heart, man of my master's.
Fair daughter! you do draw my spirits from me, P. Hen. Even such kin, as the parish heifers are With new lamenting ancient oversights. to the town bull.— Shall we steal upon them, Ned, But I must go, aud meet with danger there; at supper?
Or it will seek me in another place, Poins. I am your
nado my lord; I'll follow you. And find me worse provided. P. Hen. Sirrah, you boy,--and Bardolph;-noword Lady N. 0, fly to Scotland, to your master, that I am yet come to town. There's Till that the nobles, and the armed commons, for your silence.
Have of their puissance made a little laste.
O wondrous him!
Lady P. If they get ground and vantage of the king, Host. By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two
good-year! one must bear, and that must be you: [To
hogshead? there's a whole merchant's venture of
shall ever see thee again, or no, there is nobody cares. Put many thousand reasons hold me back:
Draw. Sir, ancient Pistol's below, and would speak
hither it is the foul mouth dst rogue in England. Enter two Drawers.
Ilost. If he swagger, let him not come here ; no, by 1 Draw. What the devil hast thon brougħt there? my faith ; I must live amongst my neighbours ; I'll no apple-Jolms? thou know'st, sir John cannot endure an swaggerers: I am in good nume and fame with the very apple-John.
best. Shut the door; there comes no swaggerers 2 Draw. Mass, thou sayest true: the prince once set here: I have not lived all this while, to have swaggea dish of apple-Johns before him, and told him, there ring now: shut the door, I pray you. were five more sir Johns: and, putting off his hat, Fal. Dost thon hear, hostess? said, I will now take my leave of these six dry, Ilost. Pray you, pacify yourself, sir Johır; there coround, old, withered knights. It angered him to the mes no swaggerers here. heart; but he hath forgot that.
Fal. Dosć thou hear? it is mine ancient. 1 Draw. Why then, cover, and set them down: and Host. Tilly-fally, sir John, never tell me; your ansee if thou canst find out Sneak’s noise; mistres Tear- cient gwaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before sheet would fain hear some music. Despatch: The master Tisick, the deputy, the other day; and, as room where they supped, is too hot; they'll come he said to me, - it was no longer ago than Wednesin straight.
day last,-Neighbour Quickly, says he;-master Dumb, 2 Draw. Sirrah, here will be the prince, and master our minister, was by then; - Neighbour Quickly,says Poins anon: and they will paton two of ourjerkins, he, receive those that are civil; for, saith he, you and aprons; and sir John must not know of it: Bar- ure in an ill name; – now he said so, I can tell wheredolph hatlı brought word.
upon; for, says he, you are an honest woman, und 1 Draw. By the mass, here will be oldutis : it will be well thought on; therefore take heed whas grests an excellent stratagem.
you receive: Receive, says he, no swaggering com2 Draw. I'll see if I can find out Sneak. (Exit. panions. There come none here; -you would bless
Enter Hostess and DOLL TEARSHEET. you to hear what he said :— no, l'll no swaggerers, Ilost. I'faith, sweet heart, methinks now you are in Fal. He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheater, an excellent good temperality: your pulsidge beats as he; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyextraordinarily as heart would desire; and your co- hound: he will not swagger with a Barbary hen, if lour, I warrant you, is as red as any rose: but, i' laith, her feathers turn back in any show of resistance. you have drunk too much canaries; and that's a mar- Call him up, drawer! vellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere Hust. Cheater, call yon hin? I will bar no honest one can say, What's this? How do you now? man my house, nor no cheater: but I do not love Dol. Better than I was. llem.
swaggering: by my troth, I am the worse, when one Host. Why, that's well said; a good heart's worth says-swagger: feel, masters, how I shake; look you, gold, Look, here comes sir Joho.
I warrant you.
Dol. So you do, hostess.
Enter Pistol, BanDoLPU, and Page.
Pist. 'Save you, sir John!
you with a cup of sack: do yon discharge upon mine Dol. You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you 'hostess. give me?
| Pist. I will discharge upon her, sir John, with two Fal. You make fat rascals, mistress Doll.
ballets. Dol. I make them! glattony and diseases make them; Ful. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly offend I make them not.
Pist. I know you, mistress Dorothy.
thou E P.H.
Fal. art 1 P.
Llost troth weet
Fal by t com
away! by this wine,I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy Host. Here's goodly stuff toward!
Poins chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, Fal. Give me my rapier, boy! you bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale juggler, Dol. I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw. boot, i you !-- Since when, I pray you, sir? - What, with Fal. Get you down stairs.
Fal. two points on your shoulder? much!
[Drawing, and driving Pistol out,
Dol.] Pist. I will murder your ruff for this.
Ilost. Here's a goodly tumiilt! I'll forswear keeping heart. Fal. No more, Pistol; I would not have you go of house, afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So;
Pal! here: discharge yourself of our company, Pistol. murder, I warrant now. — Alas, alas! put up your Doll Host. No, good captain Pistol; not here, sweet naked weapons, put up your naked weapons !
bor of captain.
(Exeunt Pistol and Bardolph. Fall! Dol. Captain! thon abominable damned cheater, Dol. I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal is gone. art thou not ashamed to be called-captain? If cap- Ah, you whoreson little valiant villain, you! tains were of my mivd, they would truncheon you Host. Are you not hurti'the groin? methought, he to bed. out, for taking their names upon you before you have made a shrewd thrust at your belly.
Del earned them. You a captain, you slave! for what?
Re-enter BARDOLPH. for tearing a poor whore's ruff' in a bawdy-house?- Fal. Have you turned him out of doors? lle a captain! Hang him, rogue! He lives upon mouldy Bard. Yes, sir. The rascal's drunk; you have hurt stewed prunes, and dried cakes. A captain! these vil- him, sir, in the shoulder.
P. 11 lains will make the word captain as odious as the Fal. A rascal! to brave me!
Pal. word occupy; which was an excellent good word be-. Dol. Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape, fore it was ill sorted: therefore captains had need how thou sweat'st! Come, let me wipe thy face; look to it.
come on, you whoreson chops :-Ah, rogue! i'faith, Bard. Pray thee, go down, good ancient!
I love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, Fal, Hark thee hither, mistress Doll!
worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than Pist. Not I: tell thee what, corporal Bardolph ;- the nine worthics. Ah, villain! could tear her:~I'll be revenged on her.
Fal.A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket. by th Page. Pray thee, go down!
Dol. Do, if thou darest for thy heart: if thou dost, Pist. I'll see her damned first; to Pluto's dam-P'll canvass thee between a pair of sheets. ned lake, to the infernal deep, with Erebus and tor
Enter Music, tures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I, Down! Page. The music is come, sir. down, dogs! down, faitors! Have we vot Hiren here? Fal. Let them play ; --play, sirs. —Sit on my knee,
Host. Good captain Peesel, be quiet; it is very late, Doll. A rascal bragging slave! the rogue fled from i'faith: I beseek you now, aggravate your choler, me like quicksilver.
DO Pist. These be good humours, indeed! Shall pack-Dol, l'faith, and thou followedst him like a charch. horses,
Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia,
when wilt thou leave fighting o'days, and foining the Which cannot go but thirty miles a day, o’nights, and begin to patch up thine oid body for
P. Compare with Caesars, and with Cannibals, heaven?
vile And Trojan Greeks? nay, rather damn them with Enter behind, Prince Herry and Poins, disguised King Cerberus; and let the.welkin roar.
like Drawers. Shall we fall foul for toys?
Fal. Peace, good Doll! do not speak like a death's Ilost.By my troth,captain, these are very bitter words. head: do not bid me remember mine end.
FC Bard. Be gone, good ancient: this will grow to a Dol, Sirrah, what humour is the prince of?
P. brawl anon.
Fal. A good shallow young fellow: he would have
as thick as Tewksbury mustard; there is no more con-
Dol. Why does the prince love him so then?
(Laying down his sword. the wild mare with the boys; and jumps upon joint Come we to full points here; and are et ceteras no-stools; and swears with a good grace; and wears his
boot very smooth, like unto the sign of the leg; and Fal. Pistol, I would be quiet.
breeds no bate with telling of discreet stories, and Pist. Sweet knight, I kiss thy neif. What! we have such other gambol faculties he hath, that show a weak seen the seven stars.
mind and an able body, for the which the prince adDol. "Thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure such mits him for the prince himself is such another ; the a fustian rascal.
weight of a hair will turn the scales between their Pist. Thrust him down stairs ! know we not Gallo- avoir-dupois. way nags?
P. Hen. Would not this nave of a wheel have his eart Fal. Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shovegroat cut off? shilling: nay, if he do nothing but speak nothing, Poins. Let's beač him before his whore. he shall be nothing here.
P. Ilen. Look, if the withered elder hath not his Bard. Come, get you down stairs !
poll clawed like a parrot. Pist. What! shall we have incision? shall we im- Poins. Is it not strange, that desire should so many brue?
(Snatching up his sword. years outlive performance ? Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days ! Fal. Kiss me, Doll! When then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds P. Hen. Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! Untwine the sisters three! Come, Atropos, I say! what says the almanac to that?