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That comes before his eye. This is a practice, Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you :
And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest,
Your wife is like to reap a proper man:
Vio. Then westward-hoe:
Grace, and good disposition 'tend your ladyship!
You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
I prythee, tell me, what thou think'st of me.
Vio. That you do think, you are not what you are.
Oli, If I think so, I think the same of you.
I wish it might; for now I am your fool.
Than love, that would seem hid: love's night is noon.
By maidhood, honour, truth, and every thing,
I love thee so, that, máugre all thy pride,
Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
But, rather, reason thus with reason fetter:
Vio. By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
And that no woman has; nor never none
Will I my master's tears to you deplore.
That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
SCENE II. - A room in Olivia's house.
Enter Sir Toby Belch, Sir ANDREW Acue-Cheek, and
Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts Sir And, Marry, I saw your niece do more favours
to the count's serving man, than ever she bestowed Oli. O, by your leave, I pray you;
upon me; I saw'ti'the orchard. I bade you never speak again of him:
SirTo.Did she see thee the while,old boy?tell me that.
Sir And. As plain as I see you now.
Fab. This was a great argument of love in her
Sir And. 'Slight! will you make an ass o'me?
| judgment and reason.
Sir To. And they have been grand jury-men, since
before Noah was a sailor.
Fab. She did show favour to the youth in your sight,
you should then have accosted her; and with some And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts, excellent jests,fire-new from the mint, you should have Thut tyrannous heart can think? To one of your banged the youth into dumbness. This was looked for receiving
at your hund, and this was baulked: the double gilt of Enongh is shown; a cyprus, not a bosom,
opportunity you let time wash oft, and you are Hides my poor heart. So let me hear you speak. now sailed into the north of my lady's opinion ; where Vio. I pity you.
you will bang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, unOli. That's a degree to love.
less you do redeem it by some laudable attempt, either Vio. No, not a grise; for 'tis a vulgar proof, of valour, or policy. That veryott we pity evemies.
Sir And. And't be any way,it must be with valour; for Oli. Why, then, methinks, 'tis time to smile again : policy Date: Ihad as lief be a Brownist, as a politician. O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon the Ifone should be a prey, how much the better basis of valour. Challenge me the count's youth to fight To fall before the lion, than the woll? (Clock strikes. with himn; hurt him in eleven places; my niece shall The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.- take nouo ofit; and assure thyself, there is no love
Lind o Cros
broker in the world can more prevail in man's com-¡I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes
Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge to Ant. 'Would, you'd pardon me;
I do not without danger walk these streets : Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the Count his gallies, brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent, and I did some service; of such note, indeed, full of invention : taunt him with the licence of ink: if That, were I ta'en here, it would scarce be answer'd. thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and Seb. Belike, you slew great number of his people. as many lies, as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although Ant. The offence is not of such a bloody nature; the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in Eng- Albeit the quality of the time, and quarrel, land, set 'em down; go, about it. Let there be gall Might well have given us bloody argument. enough in thy ink; though thou write with a goose- It might have since been answer'd in repaying pen, no matter. About it!
What we took from them; which, for traffic's sake, Sir And. Where shall I find you?
Most of our city did : only myself stood out; Sir To. We'll call thee at the cubiculo: go. For which, if I be lapsed in this place,
[Exit Sir Andrew. I shall pay dear. Fab. This is a dear manakin to you, sir Toby.
Seb. Do not then walk too open. Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad; some two thou- Ant. It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse; sand strong, or so.
In the south suburbs, at the Elephant, Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet, not deliver it.
Whiles you beguile the time, and feed your knowledge, Sir To. Never trust me then ; and by all means stiron With viewing of the town; there shall you have me. the youth to an answer. I think, oxen and wainropes Seb. Why I your purse? cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were Ant. Haply, your eyeshall light upon some toy opened, and you find so much blood in his live, as will You have desire to purchase; and your store, clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy. I think, is not for idle markets, sir.
Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer, and leave you for
Ant. To the Elephant. -
Seb, Ido remember.
(Exeunt. Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into stitches, follow me: yon' gull Malvolio is
SCENE IV. -Olivia's garden. turned heathen,a very renegado ; for there is no Chris
Enter Olivia and MARIA. tian that means to be saved by believing rightly, can Oli. I have sent after him: he says, he'll come; ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. How shall I feast him ? what bestow on him? He's in yellow stockings.
For youth is bought more oft,than begg’d,or borrow'd. Sir To. And cross-gartered ?
I speak too loud. Mar. Most villainously, like a pedant that keeps a Where is Malvolio?-he is sad and civil, school i' the church. I have dogged him like his And suits well for a servant with my fortunes;murderer. He does obey every point of the letter that Where is Malvolio? I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into Mar. He's coming, madam; more lines, than are in the new map, with the aug- But in strange manner. He is sure possess’d. mentation of the Indies: you have not seen such a Oli. Why, what's the matter? does he rave? thing as 'tis; I can hardly forbear hurling things at Mar. No, madam, him. I know, my lady will strike him : if she do, he'll He does nothing but smile: your ladyship smile, and take't for a great favour.
Were best have guard about you, if he come; Sir To. Come, bringus, bring us where he is. (Exeunt. For sure the man is tainted in his wits.
oli. Go call him hither. I'm as mad as he,
If sad and merry madness equal be.
Oli. Smil'st thou ?
Mal. Sad, lady? I could be sad : this does make some And not all love to see you, (though so much, obstruction in the blood,this crossgartering: but what As might have drawn one to a longer voyage,) of that? if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the But jealousy what might befall your travel,
very true sonnetis : Please one, and please all. Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger, oli
. Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter Unguided, and unfriended, often prove
with thee? Rough and unhospitable: my willing love,
Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. The rather by these arguments of fear,
It did come to his hands, and commands shall be exeSet forth in your pursuit.
cuted. I think, we do know the sweet Roman hand. Seb. My kind Antonio,
Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? I can no other answer make, but thanks,
Mal. To bed? ay, sweetheart ; and I'll come to thee, And thanks, and ever thanks. Often good turns. Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay:
kiss thy hand so oft ? But, were my worth, as is my conscience, firm,
Mar. How do you, Malvolio? You should find better dealing. What's to do? Mal.At your request ? Yes; nightingales answer daws. Shall we go see the reliques of this town?
Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness Ant. To-morrow, sir; best, first, go see your lodging. before my lady? Seb. I am not weary, and 'tis long to night; Mal. Be not afraid of greatness :—'Twas well writ.
and so and] DOW volio ing
Oli. What meanest thou by that, Malvolio? Sir To. Why, how now,my bawcock? how dost thou,
chuck? Oli. Ha?
Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis Mal. Some achieve greatness,
not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan! Hang Oli. What says't thou ?
him, foul collier! Mal. And some have greatness thrust upon
them. Mar. Get him to say his prayers; good sir Toby, get Oli. Heaven restore thee!
him to pray!
ings:- Mar. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness. Mal. And wished to see thee cross-gartered. Mal. Go, hang yourselves all ! you are idle shallow Oli. Cross-gartered?
things: I am not of your element; you shall know more Mal . Go to; thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;- hereafter.
[Exit. Oli. Am I made?
Sir To. Is't possible?
Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, I could
midsummer madness. condemnit as an improbable fiction. Enter Servant.
Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of Ser. Madam, the young gentleman of the count Or- the device, man. sino's is returned ; I could hardly entreat him back: he Mar. Nay,pursue him now; lest the device take air, attends your ladyship's pleasure.
and taint. Oli. I'll come to him.[Exit Servant.]Good Maria, let Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed! this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby?| Mar. The house will be the quieter. Let some of my people have a special care of him; I| Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room, and would not have him miscarry for the halfof my dowry. bound. My niece is already in the belief,that he is mad;
(Exeunt Olivia and Maria. we may carry it thus, for our pleasure, and his penance, Mal. Oh, ho! do you come near me now? no worse till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to man than sir Toby to look to me?This concurs directly have mercy on him: at which time, we will bring the with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madappear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in men. But see, but see! the letter. Cast thy humble slough, says she; – be
Enter Sir Andrew AGUE-CHEEK. opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants,- let thy Fab. More matter for a May morning. tongue tang with arguments of state, — put thyself Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; I warrant, into the trick of singularity ;-and,consequently,sets there's vinegar and pepper in’t. down the manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend car- Fab. Is't so saucy? riage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him : do but read. and so forth. I have limed her; but it is Jove's doing, Sir To. Give me. (Reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou and Jove make me thankful! And, when she went away art, thou art but a scurriy fellow. now, Let this fellow be looked to : fellow! not Mal- Fab. Good, and valiant. volio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why every Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, thing adheres together; that no dram of a scruple, no why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or for't. unsafe circumstance, What can be said ? Nothing, Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of that can be, can come between me and the full pro- the law. spect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my and he is to be thanked.
sight she usesthee kindly : but thou liest in thy throat,
be thy chance to kill me,
Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.
good. Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! Sir. To. Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon did not Itell you?-Sir Toby, my lady prays you to one of our souls ! He may have mercy upon mine ; but have a care of him.
my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, Mal. Ah, ha! does she so ?
as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy. ANDREW Sir To. Go to, go to ! peace,peace,we must deal gently Ague-cheek.
! with him ; let me alone! - How do you, Malvolio? how Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: is't with you? What, man! defy the devil! consider, I'll give't him. he's an enemy to mankind.
Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he Mal. Do you know what you say?
now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he by depart. takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched ! Sir To. Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at the Fab. Carry his water to the wise womau.
corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so soon as Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, ever thou seesthim, draw; and, as thou drawest, swear if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than horrible; for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath,
with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives mistress?
manhood more approbation than ever proof itself Mar. Olord!
would have earned him. Away! Sir To. Pr’ythee, hold thy peace; this is not the way! Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing! (E.rit. Do you not see you move him? let me alone with him. Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for the be
Fab. No way but gentleness; gently, gently! the fiend haviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of is rough, and will not be roughly used.
good capacity and breeding; his employment between
him? d,or borrort
shall be ere man hand.
Mal. How now,
answer dans lous boldness
was well writ
his lord and my niece confirms no less; therefore this what my offence to him is; it is something of my ne- 1 1.
Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him
by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of
his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody;
hai message for a challenge.
Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, [Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone,
care not who knows so much of my mettle. (Exeunt.
Re-enter Sir Toby with Sir Andrew.
Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil! I have not seen
fund Goon my master's griefs. Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture;
swer,he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground Refuse it not, it hath no tongueto vex you:
they step on. They say, he has been fencer to the so
Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him !
Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified : Fabian
can scarce hold him yonder.
Sir And. Plagne on’t; an I thought he had been va-
liant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him dam-
ned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the mat
ter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet.
Sir To. I'll make the motion : stand here, make a
good show on't; this shall end without the perdition
Re-enter Fabian and VioLA.
Indt Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath any him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance from any image of offence done to any man. of his vow; he protests, he will not hurt
you. Sir Tu. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: there- Vio. Pray Goddefend me! A little thing would make fore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you me tell them, how much I lack of a man. to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what
Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious! youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's vo remedy; the withal.
gentleman will, for his honour's sake, haveone bout Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he?
with Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked rapier, promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will
you; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in pri- not hurt you. Come on ; to’t. vate brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three;
Sir And. Pray God he keep his oath!
(Draws. and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be one but by pangs of death
Enter ANTONIO. and sepulchre: hob, nob, is his word; give’t, or take't.
Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will. (Draws. Vio. I will return again into the honse, and desire Ant. Put up your sword: – if this young gentleman some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard Have done oflence, I take the fault on me; of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely If you offend him, I for him defy you. (Drawing. on others, to taste their valour: belike, this is a man
Sir To. You, sir? why, what are you? of that quirk.
Ant. One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more, Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of Than you have heard him brag to you he will. a very competent injury; therefore, get you on, and Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you. give him his desire! Back you shall not to the house,
Draws. unless you undertake that with me,which with as much
Enter two Officers, safety you might answer him: therefore, on, or strip Fab. O good sir Toby, hold; here come the officers. your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's Sir To. I'll be with you anon. certain, or forswear to wear iron about you.
(To Antonio. Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you,
Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you please. do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight! Sir. And. Marry, will I, sir; — and, for that I pro
(To Sir Andrew.
Thate Than Orar Inha
mised you, I'll be as good as my word: he will bear Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy you easily, and reins well.
sword. 10ff. This is the man; do thy office.
Sir And. An I do not,
(Exit. 2011. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit
Fab. Come, let's see the event.
Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be nothing yet.
Enter SEBASTIAN and Cluwn.
Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent
Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow! Let
Clo. Well held out, i’faith! No, I do not know you; 20ff. Come, sir, away!
nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come
nor this is not my nose neither. – Nothing, that is so,
Thou know'st not me.
Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some
great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! Hold, there is half my coller.
I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a Ant. Will you deny me now?
cockney.- I pr’ythee now, ungire thy strangeness, and Is't possible, that my deserts to you
tell me, what I shall vent to my lady; shallI vent to Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, her, that thou art coming ? Lest that it make me sounsound a man,
Seb. I pr’ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me;
There's money for thee; if you tarry longer,
I shall give worse payment.
Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand! These
wise men, that give fools money,get themselves a good I hate ingratitude more in a man,
report after fourteen years purchase.
Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir Toby, and Faltax.
Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for
[Striking Sebastian. 20%: Come, sir, I pray you, go.
Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there! Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth,
Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir Andrew. see here,
Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the Isnatch'd one half out of the jaws ofdeath;
house! Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love,
Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be And to his image, which, methought, did promise
in some of yor coats for two-pence. [Exit Clown. Most venerable worth, did I devotion.
Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. (Holding Sebastian. 107. What's that tous ? The time goes by; away! work with him; 'I'll have an action of battery against
Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to
him, if there be any lawin Mlyria: though I struck him In nature there's no blemish, but the mind;
lirst, yet it's no matter for that.
Seb. Let go thy hand !
Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my
Seb. I will be free from thee. What would'st thou
(Draws. Provetrne, imagination, 0, prove true,
Sır To. What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!
or two of his malapert blood from you. (Draws. Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian ;
Sir To. Madam?
Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves,
Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my
Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a Rudesby, be gone! - I pr’thce, gentle friend,
In this uncivil and unjust extent