He took the paper, and I watched, And saw him peep within; At the first line he read, his face Was all upon the grin. feiter He read the next; the grin grew broad, And shot from ear to ear; He read the third; a chuckling noise The fourth; he broke into a roar; The fifth; his waistband split; The sixth; he burst five buttons off, Ten days and nights, with sleepless eye, As funny as I can. THE HOT SEASON. THE folks, that on the first of May Began to say, the first of June, "Good Lord! how hot it grows." up, At last two Fahrenheits blew And killed two children small, And one barometer shot dead A tutor with its ball! Now all day long the locusts sang The pumps could only wheeze; Came spouting through the rotten corks, Like Joly's best Champagne! The Worcester locomotives did Before they checked the power; All asked for ice, but everywhere Plump men of mornings ordered tights, As Cossack pantaloons! If water they would choose; A horse fell dead, he only left Four red-hot, rusty shoes! But soon the people could not bear The slightest hint of fire; Allusions to caloric drew A flood of savage ire; The leaves on heat were all torn out From every book at school, And many blackguards kicked and caned, Because they said, — “Keep cool!" The gas-light companies were mobbed, The bakers all were shot, The penny press began to talk Of Lynching Doctor Nott; And all about the warehouse steps Were angry men in droves, Crashing and splintering through the doors. To smash the patent stoves! The abolition men and maids Were tanned to such a hue, You scarce could tell them from their friends, Unless their eyes were blue; And, when I left, society Had burst its ancient guards, And Brattle Street and Temple Place Were interchanging cards! |