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I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
And his soft couch defile.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents : I second thee; troop on.
SCENE IV.--A room in Dr. Caius's house.
Enter Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and Rugby. Quick. What; John Rugby!-I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming : if he do, i'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English, Rug. I'll go watch.
(Exit Rugby Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate :3 his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish4 that way: but nobody but has his fault;- but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is ?
Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife?
Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard ; a Cain-coloured beard.
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as talli a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head: he hath fought with a warrener.2
Quick. How say you ?-0, I should remember him; does he not hold up his head, as it were ? and strut in his gait?
Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.
Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish
Quick. We shall all be shent :3 run in here, good young man ; go into this closet. (Shuts Simple in the closet.] He will not stay long.-What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say !-Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home :-and down, down, adoron-a, &c.
Enter Doctor Caius. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box ; do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.
Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. [Aside.
Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la cour, la grand
affaire. Quick. Is it this, sir? Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; depeche, quickly :-Vere is dat knave Rugby?
(1) Brave. (2) The keeper of a warren, (3) Scolded, reprimanded.
Quick. What, John Rugby! John !
Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack
Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublié 3 dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad.
Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?Villany! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier.
Quick. Good master, be content.
Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. I beseech
you, be not so flegmatic; hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson Hugh.
Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page, for my master, in the way of marriage.
Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not.
Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez me some paper :- Tarry you a little-a while.
[writes. Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been the roughly moved, you should have heard him so Joud, and so melancholy ;-but notwithstanding, man, I'll do your master what good I can: and, the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master, -I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself;
Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand.
Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early, and down late ;but notwithstanding, (to tell you
I would have no words of it:) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that,-I know Anne's mind,--that's neither here nor there.
Caius. You jack’nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de park ; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make :-you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here :-by gar, I will cut all his two stones ; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog.
[Exit Simple. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat :--do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? -by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our weapon :- by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page
Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well : we must give folks leave to prate: What, the good-jer!
Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me ;-by gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door :-Follow my heels, Rugby.
[Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that : never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. (Within.) Who's within there, ho ? (1) The goujere, what the pox!
Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
Enter Fenton. Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou ?
Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?
Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou ? Shall I not loose my suit ?
Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you :-Have not your worship a wart above your eye?
Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ;-good faith, it is such another Nan :-but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread :-We had an hour's talk of that wart;-I shall never laugh but in that maid's company.-But, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly2 and musing : but for you, Well, go to.
Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day: hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behall : if thou seest her before me, commend me
Quick. Will I ? i'faith, that we will: and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell ; I am in great haste now.
[Exit. Quick. Farewell to your worship.—Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not ; for I know Anne's mind as well as another does :Out upon't! what have I forgot ?
[Exit. (1) She means, I protest. (2) Melancholy.